LEIGH
The transition of the weather between the period I burst into the building and exited was more strange than the past hours of my day since the sun rose this morning.
People on foot and drivers behind the wheels of their vehicles were hurrying for cover at the thunderous murmurs from the dark cloudy sky. The trees on the street were agitated and barking, whereas batches of birds were chirping high above my head while flapping their wings, heading for their den.
I know from the tempestuous storm and the wind blasting in the air that the rain was about to break anytime soon from the rageful gloaming clouds but I have no interest in seeking asylum. The air out here was breathable compared to the pernicious atmosphere I was breathing into my lungs in the presence of my father and the three new strangers I mistook as allies, legal guardians of my secrets, my last-minute miracles in formidable crises, and lastly, my lovers and family.
I couldn't find the keys to the vehicle when I shove my hands into every pocket on me. If I had dropped it somewhere then it has to be around the table in the foyer while I was in the building.
I take a look up at the sky again and find the weather not budging for my favor and God knows I rather absorb the entire rainstorm than walk back into that house.
Maybe that's what I deserve. Maybe I should have let Arlen take the upper hand and woke me out of this trance.
I was drowning for Ava and she rather watches me perish than have me swim to somewhere I can breathe again. The painful part is that I trusted her among others not knowing her kiss was poison and her eyes that serve as sparklers had me blinded with their burns.
Her clothes or rather my best friend's (who turned into a maniac) were on my floor while I poured out my heart and gave myself to her; something I had never done with anyone and had conserved even when she didn't want me, but to learn that I went to all that length just to find out she was hanging out with the enemy behind my back.
I knew the wrenching feeling of disappointment and heartbreak and most of the soul-racking pain there is to exist but betrayal wasn't among them until these days. First, it was my sister, which I wouldn't blame so extensively given she had no idea of my true interest but Ava?
No!
How could innocent eyes that only glow with true promise and unsophistication bestow extreme pain?
Pulling my hair with my fingers as though to rip every strand from my scalp, for I was partially hoping for the pain to outweigh the continually scratching in my chest. It was then the fragile voice that promised endless contentment the last time we were alone wafted after me now.
The force of her voice ran through the panting and gasping noises she was making as she pursue me.
She might have followed around the backyard for I didn't acknowledge the door opening or closing, though I wouldn't bet on that, given I wasn't in the best circumstance to notice anything around me.
"Leigh?"
A sudden jabbing sensation of needles triggered in my eyes and prickles irritatingly behind my flaming gaze as I stare into the distance while sprinting to escape from her.
I just couldn't look at her and no matter how I hate to agree with my head, is just that, for the first time ever since I know her, she disgusts me and it was surging and increasing with every intake of breath in my windpipe.
So I accelerated from our driveway to the pavement, while the storm gets even more intense, causing my hair to cling against my skin just like my shirt.
My phone had been buzzing in my pants for an hour now. Only God knows the amount of missed calls in there. Accepting calls is the last thing I care about right now. Knowing nothing good was coming from it when there is a video of me out there that could or might have even ruined my career.
"Leigh, please. Listen."
When I responded unexpectedly, I wasn't very proud of how my tone came out. "You lied." I cracked, as my throat was closing with a lump of emotions and it was too thick to swallow.
Somehow she was able to catch up and step in my way, pushing my arms in the process.
My eyes promptly closes as they met her tear-stain face.
I don't believe her. Not anymore.
"You're a liar, Ava. You've played well enough."
She brought her hands around my neck and stroked my skin with her fingers. She must have stepped closer, for her warmth and scent were severely harming my memories. I was starting to get off the lane of what I intended earlier.
"You're hurting, it's crushing me. Let me help you, please." She whimpered, snapping me into annoyance at her ridiculousness
I jerk out of the embrace without watching the force. When I did, I try to clasp her hands as they were reaching for me. But she foundered and slip. Her temple and arm clashed with the mailbox post before she fully flump and hit the ground in front of me.
Fucking great!
It felt like my legs and hands were separated from my entire body, I couldn't sense them. It was a miracle I was able to rush down and crouch next to her while she winced and wipe her eyes with her palms like a little child.
I didn't know what to offer or say. My unblinking eyes were too full to allow my head to think.
She had her pouty lip folded; maybe bitting the physical pain that I had caused her.
I would never...
"Leigh." She exhaled, strugglingly, and begin to push up but I held her back quickly and help her sit on the pavement.
"You can't move. You'll be dizzy."
She nodded and drop her eyes to her laced fingers that were trembling on her thighs.
I didn't know what to say so I look up and down the grey street that had become too quiet except for the rumbles from the thunderstorm coming. There were no vehicles or pedestrians anymore and for that, I am grateful. At least there wouldn't be another viral video about me that could add damage to whatever is left of my career.
"I will go get some ice," I informed and stood up, but stubbornly, she did the same and then cringed with pain. She stumbled and rested against some car when I grabbed her by the waist to help steady her balance.
"I said not to stand up." Does she have to make everything hard for me?
Her gaze met mine. She pressed her lips into a hard line but I can read from her complexion, of course, she would bring it up, it was swimming in her heartrending eyes.
She always has that dewy-eyed innocence, affecting me with poignant grief at her sadness.
I am such a fool.
When I couldn't look away from her strangely compelling eyes, her lips parted and she began to blunder excuses to defend herself,
"Nothing happened between Arlen and me."
Even putting her name in a sentence that involves him, rises nausea in my throat.
I rubbed my face and exhale loudly. When I lower my hand, there was blood smeared over my palm.
That immediately caught my attention, and my eyes flicked to Ava's temple where it was slightly bleeding but she answered my muddiness with a clear proposal, "Let me clean you up. Let's go inside. I will explain everything." Her watery eyes pleaded. Her voice cracks as she confirms it was my blood on my hand. "I promise." She added worriedly.
I shake my head and try to work down the lump in my throat at the reminder of finding Arlen's hoodie on my floor and the five seconds video of her bare back while she changes in his closet.
"Just go home, Ava."
The irritation was gut-wrenching, I turn around and kicked our neighbor's perfect lawn, and my leg ended up swinging in the air.
Every muscle in my limps convulses at the ache in my chest and the struggle for oxygen through my sealed windpipes. I run my fingers into my hair and cuss underneath my breath just as a roaring thunder rumbled along with a bolt of striking lightning that sparked upon us.
Instinctively I swirl to check on Ava, knowing how thunderstorms normally frighten her, but I couldn't turn around fully, she already has her arms thrown around me and her face buried in my chest.
Her pulse is racing, her heart thumping in her chest and her whole body trembling. She clings to me tightly. I could feel every fear in her.
I held her in my arms for a brief moment because she steps back almost instantly as the rumbling calmed but even for those brief seconds, contact with her had solidified consolation in me and I could breathe again.
This is what she does to me, it's sad she doesn't see how I valued her more than anyone else.
"Please let's go home, Leigh." She implored barely above a whisper.
She cast meaningful eye contact that blazes with the hope of communicating with my cold and angered pair. But right now it is hard to choose between my emotions, no matter how much I hate seeing her hurt. What I found and the words that came out from Arlen's mouth weren't very assuring to have me running back to her. I mean, can I even trust her anymore?
"I do not need any explanation. There is nothing that would change the fact of what you've done. I've seen and heard enough."
She shook her head and a tear dropped on her cheek. Her nose and her entire face were flushed. When I say I hate to see her cry and I hate to see her hurt I mean it critically because right now my heart was sinking deeper than it ever did but what she did to me was unjust. She knew relating with Arlen in any field would ruin me but she did it anyway.
"Whatever he told you is a lie."
My jaw clenches at the more excuses she was generating. Hasn't anyone told her honesty is the best immunity? How am I supposed to forgive her if she keeps lying in my face?
The next words ripple from my throat wildly, I couldn't restrain my anger while I vomit them with every ounce of disgust I feel, "Even when you changed in his room? Wore his clothes? I have the video, Ava. What else happened?"
Her eyes widen with shock and they begin to blink.
"Nothing... My clothes were drenched with water and he offered me a dry pair." She was speaking fast now.
Oh yeah, she would slap me in the face with more lies even now.
"So I heard." My wounded eyes drilled into her and hers gave up and flickered past me. "You know if you want to hang out with him, you can just say it. I am not blocking your way. I wouldn't stop you."
Her eyes meet mine instantly, they were confused.
"What does that suppose to mean?"
"What is between you two?"
"Nothing, Leigh. Why would you assume that."
"Maybe because you're sneaking out in the middle of the night to go play swimming pool and change clothes at Arlen's bedroom?"
"What? That's absurd. Last night was the first time I saw him since you both left that year." Her voice was shaky but was remarkably soft and quiet, unlike mine.
"Stop lying to my face, Ava. Isn't it enough? It's busted." I push my fingers through my hair and blow out a rageful breath.
In an undertone voice, she painfully mumbled, "You won't believe me."
"You should have tried last night when you dragged me to bed. Or is that your technique?" I laugh angrily. "If I'm told you've gone to do the same thing with him last night, I wouldn't be surprised. Because honestly, that's all that's going through my mind, as you have become a very good liar. I can't even look at you."
My dark eyes radiated a fierce fury. I just wanted to hurt her the way she had engraved an ache in me in the past hours.
She nodded concentratedly and swallowed a couple of times before she whispered a "Wow!" with tears streaking her face.
"So now can you go and put some ice on your head and leave me alone?" I questioned the hurting girl before me.
"You're paranoid, Leigh. You can insult me, hate me, shout at me, not that it isn't tearing me apart, it does, it's harrowing, but I won't go. I won't let you regret this. I've lost you before, I won't this time."
Okay!
I have no more words to say, I choose to walk away down the street but she followed behind me. I sense her quiet footsteps, her heavy breathing, and her delicate scent floating around me with each step I took.
We walk for a couple of minutes before the rain started to fall. When I noticed the first drop that came down to the back of my itchy neck, I peek behind, to where Ava is still tailing me. My eyes drop to her foot, they were bare.
All this time she didn't have shoes on.
Oh, Ava.
"Go home Ava, for goodness sake. There's a strong rainstorm coming, you have no shoes." I begged but she was too quiet as her footsteps were.
Her silence and the rushing rain that had us soaking wet stirred in my head. I instantly stop and spun, having her crash into me.
"I said go home," I yelled while she composes herself to stand properly.
There was a frown on her face but she governed her feelings and refuse to respond to my bark.
My fists itches to punch anything but there was only cold rain around me.
Son of a bitch.
I laugh at the unfortunate circumstance, at her obstinacy, at my anger, at everything right now that was making me lose my mind.
This is crazy.
"When you ask me for space, I gave you. Why is it hard to return the favor?"
"And look what it did to us? We let go of trusting each other." She sadly pointed. "I become someone else and you did the same too."
For goodness sake.
"Do not put me in that account. I didn't have any modifications. I didn't turn blonde or evolve to be vegas most prominent slut." I snarled and watch how severe my words physically shove into her.
She stepped back, rain streaming down her face. Her rain-slickened hair adheres to her skin, while her entire walls fall before my eyes.
"Your sister wanted me to drive her to a store, she stole a bottle of liquor, had me drive to a place she said she'll deliver. I didn't know Arlen stays at falling water until last night. I fell into the pool trying to escape. He offered me warmer clothes, I had no other option because Lilith had disappeared into the house."
I had to interrupt her right there, "And you took it."
She shudders and embraces herself with her arms. "Lilith..."
"Lilith... Lilith. It is always about her. You keep using her to fill in your mistakes. You are not prospering into a child, Ava. If Lilith can make her choices, so can you." I was exclaiming over my voice, given the heaviness of the rain slapping every surface around us, including our skins.
She nodded and drop her depressing eyes between us.
"You are right, I should have given you some space."
She turn around and started to distance away from where I stood watching her leave.
Everything in me wanted to run after her, hold her into my arms and tell her we would do better, mostly when there was another rattling lighting in the sky and she was shuddering from cold and fear. But hatred had consumed me. All I can see was Arlen's smirk when I burst into the bowling alley looking for him, his laughter when I toss the hoodie over to him, his shrugs, and the pride he wore as he spoke about her so faultlessly as if he knew her more me.
The only satisfaction I have was knocking his face repeatedly against the tiled floor and watching his blood bursting out of his flesh.
Maybe coming back home was a mistake.