Landon Reilly
From: Unknown
landon it's livi. happy birthday!!! i hope i see you today<3
I had nearly forgotten about my birthday until I opened that text from Livi. I was so caught up with worry about what would happen at her skating competition today that it had slipped my mind. It wasn't like I had ever done much celebrating for my birthdays. My parents had thrown me parties in the past, but it was all just a front for everyone we knew. I never cared much for birthdays.
Wren was sitting at my desk, typing away on his laptop when I rolled over in bed to look at him. He was already dressed and presentable like he had been up for hours, though I knew he hadn't been. I had woken up briefly when he had gotten out of bed, craving the warmth of his body against mine.
I watched him for a moment, then he turned like he felt my eyes on him.
"You didn't tell me it's your birthday," he said. He said it in such a casual way that I couldn't tell if it had even bothered him or if he was just pointing it out.
"How do you even know that?"
"Olivia," he replied, which was all the explanation needed.
I let out a sigh. I had forgotten that the two of them talked to each other.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Wren asked.
"Because it's not a big deal," I replied, getting out of bed and walking toward my closet.
"I could have gotten you something if I'd known."
"I don't want you to get me anything," I said, pulling a shirt out of the closet. "I don't even know when your birthday is. It's not like we've talked about it."
"It's May 29th," he said. "You know, we could celebrate today instead of going to that competition. I'm sure Olivia would understand."
I shot him a deadpanned look then threw on my shirt.
"You think you're going to outsmart me and make me think that I don't want to go," I started. "But it's not going to work, so you might as well stop trying."
"That's not what I was trying to do at all," Wren lied.
I knew him better than that. Wren had made it very clear that he didn't want me going to Livi's competition. Wren was good at making his opinions known. What he wasn't good at was being subtle.
It sort of warmed my heart that he wanted to protect me from seeing my father. I had never really had anyone care about me in such a way, but it felt nice. It made me want to hold onto him, squeezing him tightly to physically show my appreciation for him. But his insistence could also be annoying, especially with the way he tried to outsmart me any chance he got.
I wanted to support my sister, even if it meant putting myself in a bad situation. It was probably the guilt that made me so insistent on showing up for Livi. I was guilty because I hadn't been around much lately, hadn't talked to her much. I was also guilty because I hadn't been to one of her competitions in over a year, and she specifically asked me to be at this one. I couldn't say no to her even if I wanted to.
"You can stay here if you don't want to go," I suggested, knowing he wouldn't agree to that. Sometimes I just liked to argue with him a little.
Wren shook his head at me with expression that told me he thought I was being crazy.
"Let's start getting ready then so we can grab breakfast beforehand," Wren said, standing from the desk as I finished getting dressed. I did my morning routine, then the two of us got into Wren's car to go get breakfast.
Part of me couldn't stomach the thought of food. I was so anxious about today that I felt nauseous. Seeing Wren eat his own food without a care in the world made me feel slightly better, so I followed his lead. He probably wouldn't have let me leave here without eating something anyway.
When we got in the car to head over to the arena, Wren placed his hand on my thigh. I hadn't even noticed I had been shaking my leg until his hand stilled me. Wren surprisingly didn't say anything about my anxiety.
"Do you know when Olivia will be on?" Wren asked as we drove down the road.
"I'm not sure," I told him, looking out the window as we neared the arena. "She does a short program and a free program."
I hadn't been to one of her competitions in a while, and it wasn't like my father brought me to many of them either. A lot of the time it was my mother who brought Livi to skating and my father who brought me to hockey. Needless to say, I wasn't well-versed in figure skating.
Wren parked the car, but left it running as he turned to me.
"We still have time to leave," Wren said with a grin.
I shot him an irritated look and got out of the car. Wren was quick to follow me and the two of us made our way inside.
There were more people here than I thought there would be, and that actually gave me some comfort. The more people there were, the less likely it was that I would run into my parents.
Wren walked beside me, clearly at ease. His walk was like a glide, his head held high. I looked at him and wished that I could be more like him. He caught me looking out of the corner of his eye and shot me a smile.
"A lot of people here," he commented.
"Probably a good thing," I responded.
I wanted him to hold my hand, but at the same time I wanted him to keep his distance. I craved his comfort while also wanting to keep him at arms length.
The two of us didn't say much as we found our way to our seats. I looked around before sitting down, but I didn't see my parents anywhere. They were probably closer to the front, ensuring the best view to catch all of Livi's mistakes. It was exactly how my father would always watch me play hockey, with a scrutinizing gaze instead of one of pride or admiration.
"I don't know much about figure skating," Wren said, bringing my attention to him. "How do we know if she's doing well?"
"Basically if she's nailing her jumps and spins and sticking the landings then she's doing good," I said. "I don't know much about it either. I've never really gotten to watch her that much."
Wren nodded, and a few moments later the first skater took to the ice. Neither of us cared much for watching the other skaters, but Wren watched the first short program while I watched him watch it.
"It's so cold in here," Wren said, clapping after the skater finished.
"Well, yeah," I said. "It's an ice rink."
"They can't make it warmer for the spectators?" he asked and I just shook my head at him.
We sat through a few more performances before it was Livi's turn. When I heard her name, I sat on the edge of my seat, my eyes glued to the rink.
Livi skated to her starting mark and began her program. All was going well at first. She skated with elegance and precision. It was the last jump that ruined her nearly perfect performance.
When she came down to land, her ankle shifted beneath her and sent her down on the ice. Livi got right back up and struck her final mark with a wide smile. I couldn't help but smile down at her.
I felt pride well in my chest. Even though she messed up, she got right back up and finished. That was a quality of a true competitor.
"Do you think she's alright?" Wren asked me as we both clapped at the end of her performance. My heart warmed in my chest at the fact that he sounded genuinely concerned for my little sister.
"I'm sure she's fine," I told him as I watched her skate off the ice. It didn't look like she was favoring one leg over the other. Our mother was probably pissed, but I knew Livi could handle her.
After the next skater, I left Wren to go to the bathroom and grab us drinks. As I finished in the bathroom and came out, I was suddenly standing
face to face with my father.
I knew of the possibility of this happening when I came here, but that still didn't prepare me for the tightness in my chest just at the sight of him. The last time I had seen him, it had sent me into a spiral and he hadn't even looked at me. This time, he was staring right at me and it felt like I was about to fall over.
No matter how much I thought I could handle being face to face with him, nothing could have prepared me for it. It was still like I was just thrown to the wolves. It was like I was a speck that he could just walk on. I was minuscule and he had me under a magnifying glass. I felt helpless and weak in his presence.
"Landon," he said in a low tone. I had heard him say my name that way so many times. It was disappointment and anger.
I didn't say anything back. I couldn't. All I wanted was to walk away from him and back to Wren, but I was frozen in place.
"You shouldn't be here," he said. "You shouldn't be speaking to my daughter at all. You've distracted her and she tanked her performance all because of you."
"I-" I started, but he quickly cut me off.
"You are to cut all contact with my daughter," he snapped, moving in closer and making me feel smaller. "I have my ways of finding these things out, so I will know if you continue speaking to her."
I wanted to argue with him, to show him that he didn't scare me or have any affect on me, but I couldn't. Because it wasn't true and I couldn't even fake it.
"You've really let yourself go," he said, looking me up and down. "I've caught a few of your games on TV out of curiosity and it's not surprising that you've become sloppy. You're a failure because you lack discipline, and I will not allow you to rub off on my daughter. She has a future. She is a good girl. She doesn't need your influence on her."
"She doesn't know I'm here," I said, my voice weak, trying to protect Livi in any way that I could.
"Don't lie to me," he snapped. "I know that she does. I know that you two have kept in contact. Trust me when I say you will not like the consequences if you don't cut all contact with her."
My heart was beating fast, my breaths becoming shallow.
"As far as I'm concerned, Olivia is an only child," he continued. "You think that because you're no longer part of this family that you can do as you please, but I will make your life hell if you continue interfering. Do you understand? You are a worthless, disgusting failure and I will not let you drag my daughter down with you."
Every nasty thing he had ever said to me started flooding my brain. Every horrible thing he had ever done to me played on a loop. I knew he would follow through on his threats if given the chance.
"Landon?"
I looked over my father's shoulder to see my mother standing behind him. She looked at me with sad, wide, teary eyes. It almost felt like she missed me and that she was overcome with emotion at the sight of me. I almost walked past my father to go to her. Then I remembered her complacency. I remembered how she let my father abuse me. I remembered how she treated Livi.
My mother was always the kinder of my parents. Rather, I used to think of her as kind but now knew that she didn't have a kind bone in her body. She let my father do as he pleased to me. She never protected me.
I almost forgot that when I looked at her though. I wished I could walk over to her and let her take me into her arms. I remembered times when I prayed for my parents' love, times when I asked God why my parents didn't love me. My life would have been so different if my parents just loved me.
"I have to go," I muttered, mustering up the strength to speak.
"Leave this place. Now," my father said in a familiar voice of authority.
I staggered past him, walking by my mother without a glance, though I could feel her eyes on me as I left. I left through the exit doors and went down the stairs until I reached the outside. I took in deep breaths, finally no longer feeling like I was being suffocated.
I didn't know how long I was out there, but eventually, Wren found me. I was still breathing heavy when he came outside. His hand on my shoulder startled me and I jumped back then relaxed when I saw it was him.
"What happened?" Wren asked, his face serious and full of concern.
"Go. Now," I breathed out.
Wren wrapped his arm around me and directed me to his car. He helped me into the passenger's seat, but he stayed there standing outside the car in front of me instead of moving to the driver's side.
"Landon," he said, putting his hands on my shoulders. "Calm down, okay? Breathe slowly."
We looked into each others eyes and I tried to match Wren's breathing.
"Better," Wren said, bringing his hand up to my face to push my hair off my forehead. "Let's go."
Wren kissed my forehead then backed away, shutting the door and moving around to the driver's seat. We were mostly quiet on the way back to my dorm, Wren placing a comforting hand on my thigh, moving it up and down.
When we got back to my dorm, Wren brought me into the bathroom and started the shower. I was confused but I didn't question him.
"Come on," he said, gesturing toward the shower. "You're sweaty. You need to get in."
Without thinking, I listened to him and got undressed and into the shower. A moment later, Wren followed me. Normally, I would yell at him or push him out, but I wanted him near me even though I was embarrassed. I didn't want to snap at him. I wanted his comfort, welcomed it.
Wren pushed his hands through my hair as the water cascaded over me. I let him put my shampoo in, his fingers kneading my scalp. After he rinsed it out, I stepped forward and insta his embrace, letting my face fall between his neck and shoulder. Wren held me, one hand on the back of my head and the other on my back.
"Was it your father?" Wren asked quietly against my ear. "Did you see him?"
"Are you going to say 'I told you so'?" I asked, feeling embarrassed.
Wren hummed. "No."
"Why not? You were right," I said. "I saw him and I couldn't handle it."
"While I do enjoy hearing 'you're right' come from your mouth, I'm not glad to be right about this," he said.
"You're glad to be right about everything else," I muttered.
"Your pain doesn't bring me happiness."
I shuddered, overwhelmed with emotions. I wanted to squeeze him and hold onto him forever. I wanted him to always be whispering in my ear, playing with my hair, rubbing circles on my back. I wanted him in my life always.
Then it hit me.
I love him.
I pulled away slightly so I could look at his face, my eyes wide.
Wren smiled slightly at me, bringing his hands up to rest on my cheeks, moving his thumbs under my eyes.
"I knew you'd eventually let me in the shower with you," he said, his grin widening.
I love him.
"You didn't really give me a choice," I said, my voice low. I was still reeling at my realization, the force of it weighing on me.
"If you didn't want me in here, you would have pushed me out," he said.
I leaned forward and kissed his grinning mouth, slowly and carefully like it was my first time. He responded slowly, letting me take the lead. We stayed like that in the shower until the water started getting cold. Then we ran back to my room and Wren wrapped a towel around me before kissing my neck and jaw. He lowered himself in front of me then looked up at me with a smirk.
"I think you deserve some birthday action," Wren said.
My heart fluttered even with him being so crude. He moved the towel out of the way and put his mouth on me. Even then, I could only think of one thing.
I love him.
**
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