Neti
After breakfast, Adolph left for his murderous mafia business like some dark, brooding villain from a movie. Pranav, on the other hand, also left for his own mafia business-but in a full Pikachu night suit.
I don't know what's scarier. Adolph's ruthless efficiency, or the fact that criminals actually take Pranav seriously when he looks like a walking plushie.
And now? I was bored.
Eliza and the other maids were working, ignoring my existence as if I was not suffering in the absolute depths of boredom.
I sighed dramatically. "Eliza, talk to me. I am losing brain cells."
She barely spared me a glance. "Miss Neti, I am folding laundry."
I huffed. "Yes, but are you having fun folding laundry?"
"No, but I don't complain about it."
I gasped. Betrayal. "That's because you haven't been left alone in this oversized mansion with nothing to do while two actual criminals go out and act like they're in a crime documentary!"
Eliza gave me the most unimpressed look ever. "You have an entire mansion at your disposal."
"Yes, and yet, somehow, not a single thing to do." I groaned, flopping onto the couch. "Maybe I should go start a war or something. Just for entertainment."
One of the other maids paused mid-dusting and gave me a look.
I waved a hand. "Joking! I'm joking. Relax."
Eliza muttered something in Spanish that I was pretty sure was an insult.
I sighed again, dramatically this time, hoping someone would pity me.
Nobody did.
Wow. Even the staff was immune to me now.
Lying around like a useless piece of furniture was not doing me any good.
I needed fresh air. Sunlight. Freedom.
"Eliza," I sat up suddenly. "Let's go out."
Eliza, folding another pointless piece of laundry, didn't even blink. "No."
"...Excuse me?"
"You heard me, Miss Neti. No."
I squinted at her. "You can't just say no like that. I wasn't asking permission. I was telling you."
"Well, I'm telling you that you're not going anywhere without Mr. Adolph's permission."
I gasped. "What am I, five?!"
"If you were five, you wouldn't be getting married in tomorrow."
I glared at her. "Wow, Eliza. Bringing up my personal trauma to win an argument. Real mature."
Eliza didn't even look sorry. She just went back to folding like she wasn't ruining my life.
Fine. Fine. If she wanted official permission that badly-
I pulled out my phone and called Adolph.
He picked up on the second ring. "What?"
"Adolph!" I started sweetly. "My love, my fiancé, my future husband, my-"
"What the fuck do you want, Neti?"
"...Can I go out?"
Silence.
Then, "No."
"WHAT?!" I yelled, standing up. "Why not?!"
"You have everything you need inside the mansion."
I gritted my teeth. "Oh my God, I am not a caged bird, Adolph!"
"You are if you're trying to fly away," he said so casually I wanted to scream.
I dramatically put my hand on my chest. "So what, I'm just supposed to rot in here?"
"Yes."
"Adolph!"
"Neti."
I inhaled deeply. "Fine. Fine. You know what? Forget it. I hope you and Pranav enjoy your stupid criminal meetings while I suffer here. I hope-"
"Neti, if you step one foot out of the mansion, I will personally carry you back inside like a misbehaving cat."
I gasped. "You wouldn't."
"Try me."
...
I hung up out of spite
Oh, he thinks he can just say no and that's the end of it?
Adorable.
I was going out. Whether Adolph liked it or not.
With new determination, I marched to my closet, dramatically flung the doors open, and started pulling out options.
Did I want to look casual? Maybe a simple dress, so I looked like an innocent woman just stepping out for a stroll?
Or should I go for mysterious and untouchable? Black boots, sunglasses, and a long coat-like someone who had secrets?
Or...
Bold. Fearless. Untamed.
I smirked, grabbing a short red dress. If I was going to break the rules, I might as well do it in style.
"Eliza!" I called.
She walked in, saw the pile of clothes, and sighed. "You're really going, aren't you?"
"Obviously."
"Adolph will kill me."
"You? Why you? I'm the one going out."
"Yes, but I'm the one who let you."
I scoffed, pulling the dress over my head. "Eliza, my dear, my angel, my co-conspirator, I was never asking for permission. I was informing you of my grand escape."
She rolled her eyes. "You make it sound like you're running from prison."
I turned to her dramatically. "I am."
"...It's a mansion, Neti."
"A gilded cage is still a cage, Eliza!" I spun around in my dress. "Now, do I look like someone about to commit a crime?"
"You look like someone about to get dragged back inside by a very angry fiancé."
I grinned. "Then it's perfect."
I felt victorious. Dressed up, hair perfect, sunglasses on, walking out the front door like I wasn't about to commit a crime.
Eliza, the traitor, stood by the entrance, chewing her nails. "Are you sure you want to do this?"
"Yes."
"Elaborate."
"I want to breathe fresh air that hasn't been filtered through a mafia-infested mansion."
She sighed. "You have ten minutes before I lose my job."
With a twirl, I walked off like a woman with purpose.
-
The world outside felt freeing.
I took a hearty stroll down the luxury-filled streets, admiring life.
A couple arguing over who left the stove on? Adorable.
An old man sitting on a bench, feeding pigeons like a wise movie character? Inspirational.
A kid crying because he dropped his ice cream? Relatable.
I stopped by a café, inhaling the rich scent of coffee and pastries. Should I buy something? Would Adolph suddenly materialize behind me, scowling?
...I ordered a croissant.
I ate said croissant like a criminal on the run.
The sun? Shining. The wind? Flowing through my hair.
Life? Thriving.
Until-
"NETI."
Oh.
I turned around slowly, heart dropping.
Adolph was standing there.
And behind him...
Pranav.
...Still in his Pikachu night suit.
Holding a half-eaten donut.
This was not how I planned my escape to end.
The moment I saw them, my flight instincts kicked in.
I ran.
Full speed.
Like a heroine in an action movie.
Like a criminal escaping a heist.
Like a girl who just wanted some alone time but was now being hunted by the Mafia and Pikachu.
And they?
They didn't even try.
Adolph took a bite of his donut.
Pranav-who still looked like a walking plushie-licked some frosting off his fingers and mumbled, "She's running."
Adolph sighed, unbothered. "Yeah."
I tripped over a pigeon.
Pranav nodded at me, chewing. "She's on the ground now."
Adolph took another bite, not even glancing my way. "Mm-hmm."
I lay there on the pavement, gasping for air.
They continued eating their donuts.
Not even a little bit of effort to chase me.
I groaned, turning on my back, staring at the sky.
God, just take me now.
I lay there, dramatically spread out on the pavement like a fallen warrior.
The pigeon I tripped over was still staring at me. Judging me. Probably thinking "Wow, pathetic human being."
Meanwhile, my so-called kidnappers?
Still eating.
Pranav took another bite, licked his fingers, and squinted down at me.
"She's not moving. Do you think she's dead?"
Adolph didn't even glance at me. He just took the last bite of his donut and shrugged.
"If she was, she'd be quieter."
I dramatically slapped a hand over my chest. "Oh, how dare you!"
Pranav hummed, unconvinced. "Nah, I think she's faking. She's a drama queen."
Adolph wiped his hands with a napkin, still not helping me up.
"That's an insult to drama queens everywhere."
I sat up with a gasp, eyes wide in betrayal. "YOU-"
But before I could unleash my fury, a small child walked up to me with the most innocent, worried look.
"Miss, are you okay?"
I blinked at the tiny human, feeling a surge of dignity return.
"Oh, sweetheart, I-"
Then the child dug into their pocket and handed me a coin.
A COIN.
LIKE I WAS A HOMELESS STREET PERFORMER.
Adolph choked on air. Pranav collapsed against him, wheezing.
I stared at the coin, then at the child, who looked so proud of their generosity.
Before I could say anything, the kid's mother called them away, and they ran off, leaving me in humiliation.
Pranav was dying of laughter.
Adolph looked like he was physically restraining himself from laughing.
And me?
I just clutched the coin.
Contemplating all my life's decisions.
I sat there, gripping the betrayal coin, my soul leaving my body.
Adolph finally extended a hand to help me up-
only to snatch the coin from me instead.
"Oh, nice. Your first earning." He flipped it like some kind of stock investor and shoved it into his pocket.
Pranav collapsed all over again.
"I-I CAN'T-" He clutched his stomach, gasping for air. "A CHILD PAID YOU TO GET UP-THIS IS GOLD-"
I squinted at both of them, mentally calculating if I could get away with murdering a mafia boss and his Pikachu-clad sidekick.
Meanwhile, Adolph turned to Pranav, completely ignoring me. "Hey, what should we spend this on?"
Pranav immediately straightened, fully invested in this scam.
"A lollipop. Obviously."
Adolph nodded solemnly. "A lollipop."
I gasped. "EXCUSE ME. THAT'S MY HUMILIATION MONEY."
"Correction." Adolph twirled the coin in his fingers. "It was your humiliation money. Now it's our investment capital."
Pranav threw an arm over his shoulder like they were co-founders of an empire. "We'll call the company Neti Tripping Industriesâ¢."
Adolph nodded seriously. "Might as well profit from her clumsiness."
I stood up so fast I almost tripped again.
Adolph grabbed my wrist before I face-planted again, his lips twitching. "Careful, wouldn't want another donation."
Pranav wiped fake tears. "I hope the next one gives us a five-dollar bill."
I screamed.
With these two around, my peaceful stroll was officially ruined.
I let out a suffering sigh, glancing at the donut shop one last time like it was my lost dream.
Adolph, still gripping my humiliation coin like it was a family heirloom, started walking ahead like he owned the entire city.
Pranav, meanwhile, was dramatically adjusting his Pikachu hood, acting like he was on a spy mission.
"Where are we even going now?" I muttered.
Pranav gasped. "Did you think you were gonna just wander alone in a city full of criminals?"
I blinked. "I mean-yes?"
Pranav clutched his heart like I'd insulted his ancestors. "You're crazy."
Adolph, without looking at me, replied, "She's Spanish."
"...What does that have to do with-"
Pranav immediately nodded. "Yeah, that explains it."
WHAT EXPLAINS WHAT?!
I opened my mouth to argue, but Adolph patted my head like I was some small, hopeless creature.
"Let's go home before you embarrass yourself for another quarter."
Pranav snorted. "Maybe this time, we can get enough for an ice cream."
I screamed internally.
5 minutes later...
I stared at the stupid pink lollipop in my hand like it was the biggest betrayal of my life.
"That's what my humiliation is worth?" I asked, absolutely disgusted.
Pranav nodded, pleased. "A whole lollipop. We even got change."
I hate them. I hate them so much.
I shoved the lollipop in my mouth aggressively, because if I was going to suffer, I might as well get some sugar out of it.
Adolph, meanwhile, was walking like he had all the time in the world, carrying me like a sack of flour.
Because apparently, I was too clumsy to walk properly.
"I CAN WALK," I protested.
Adolph didn't even acknowledge my words. "You almost tripped on air five minutes ago."
Pranav nodded solemnly. "And you walked into a pole before that."
I glared at both of them. "One time. That happened ONE TIME."
Adolph adjusted his grip. "You know, for someone so small, you're kind of a handful."
"THEN PUT ME DOWN."
Pranav patted my head like I was a pet. "Just enjoy your lollipop, champ."
I sucked on the lollipop furiously.
One day. One day, I was going to get my revenge.
_______________________________
Adolph
You know, if someone had told me years ago that I'd be walking down the street carrying a grumpy, lollipop-sucking menace in my arms while Pranav strutted beside me in a Pikachu night suit, I would've shot them for insulting me.
Yet, here we were.
Neti was glowering up at me like I had personally ruined her life, all while furiously sucking on her stupid pink lollipop.
"You're still mad," I noted.
"Oh, you think?" she snapped, shifting in my hold like she was debating whether to bite me or the lollipop.
"Careful," I smirked, tightening my grip around her. "I might drop you."
Her eyes narrowed. "Do it. Let me go."
I pretended to consider it.
Then I smirked. "Nah. I like annoying you."
Pranav snorted. "Don't we all?"
Neti turned to him so fast, I was almost impressed.
"You literally bought me a lollipop with the coin of my own humiliation!" she shouted, flailing her arms.
Pranav gasped, looking deeply offended. "First of all, that was OUR coin. We all suffered for it."
"We???" she scoffed. "I was the one begging for change!"
Pranav nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah. It was beautiful."
I had to admit, watching Neti stomp around looking betrayed by humanity was one of the funniest things I had seen in weeks.
She let out a long, suffering sigh and mumbled something under her breath before sticking the lollipop back in her mouth.
Pranav sighed dramatically beside me.
"This is nice," he said. "The three of us, just strolling around like a happy little family."
I rolled my eyes. "We're not a family."
Pranav smirked. "Yet."
Neti choked on her lollipop.
I fought back a grin.
Pranav looked at me with fake admiration. "Look at you, Adolph. Carrying your bride around the city. So romantic."
Neti shoved at my chest. "I'm NOT his bride yet!"
Pranav clicked his tongue. "Tomorrow,till tomorrow"
Neti groaned so loudly, a couple of pigeons flew away from the nearest bench.
I chuckled.
Pranav continued his nonsense.
"Look at him, Neti. Such a gentleman, carrying you around so your little feet don't get tired."
Neti grimaced. "Oh my god. I hate both of you."
Pranav gasped. "You don't mean that."
Neti deadpanned. "I do."
Pranav sighed dramatically.
"You know," he said, smirking at me, "technically, you could have just held her hand instead of carrying her."
Neti perked up. "EXACTLY."
I glanced at her. "You still would've tripped."
She opened her mouth-then closed it.
Pranav burst out laughing.
She turned to me, glaring. "I'm going to throw this lollipop at your face."
I smirked. "Waste of a good lollipop."
She scoffed. "I hope you choke on yours."
Pranav, still laughing, wrapped an arm around my shoulder.
"Ah, young love," he sighed.
I elbowed him off me.
Neti groaned again.
And I, frankly, was having the time of my life.
_______________________________
Neti
I should've known.
I should've expected it.
The moment we stepped inside the mansion, Pranav the Snitch ran straight to Eliza like a damn gossiping old lady.
"You will NOT believe what happened today!" he dramatically announced, throwing his arms in the air like he was narrating some epic saga.
I groaned, dropping my face into my hands.
"Pranav, please-"
"Neti begged for money on the streets!" he shouted.
Eliza froze.
Then she turned.
Then she stared at me.
I glared at Pranav. "That is not what happened."
Pranav waved me off. "Details, details."
Eliza's mouth fell open. "No... you didn't."
"I didn't!" I argued.
Adolph, the traitor, casually tossed his coat on the couch and said, "She did."
I gasped.
Eliza cackled. Like a full-on, villainous witch.
"Oh my god, this is the best thing I've heard all week."
Pranav grinned. "And you haven't even heard the best part!"
I groaned. "For the love of-"
"She did all that just so we could buy a donut," Pranav continued, grinning ear to ear.
Eliza wiped a fake tear. "You poor, starving things."
"And then," Pranav smirked, "we used the leftover single coin to buy her a lollipop."
Eliza burst out laughing again.
I swore she almost choked.
"AND-" Pranav gasped for breath, "-Adolph had to carry her like a damsel in distress because she's too clumsy to walk on her own."
Eliza slapped her knee. "I can't-"
Adolph, the absolute menace, smirked. "It was either carry her or let her trip every three steps."
Eliza was now wheezing.
I glared at all of them.
"I hate this house."
Eliza tried to compose herself. She failed.
"You-" she gasped between laughter, "-you really have a special way of suffering, Neti."
Pranav nodded seriously. "She's gifted."
Adolph simply shrugged. "She's entertaining."
I grabbed a pillow from the couch and threw it at Pranav's face.
He caught it with one hand.
Smirking.
"Nice try, peasant."
_______________________________
The second hand embarrassment I am getting from this ð