Chapter 12: CH 12

Two People Side by Side

I wondered if I was having a vision.

It couldn’t possibly be happening, I told myself coldly. But in reality, my eyes were reflecting her image.

I could hear the voices of students devoting themselves to their club activities. The baseball team was on the field, the tennis team on the tennis court. The drama club was practicing vocal exercises, and the brass band was making sounds.

Time was passing, and the people I was seeing were undeniably real.

And yet, I still couldn’t believe it. She couldn’t hide her nervousness, and the way she held her collar didn’t make her seem unreal.

“Takane-san…”

I called her name, but she kept her eyes trained on the ground for a few more moments.

Perhaps I had dropped something and she came to deliver it to me. That was the only realistic reason I could think of.

But that wasn’t it.

After we parted like that, she came to see me again. It was probably because she didn’t want this day to end like that. Was it okay for me to think that way?

It wasn’t about dating or not dating. Regardless of that, there was still much to talk about.

“I’m sorry for saying such a strange thing earlier. I was really happy about what you said, Takane-san. After being dumped, getting excited by hearing what you said… What was I thinking?”

“…Senda-kun.”

This was better than taking what we said seriously and having an awkward relationship going forward.

I guessed the reason why Takane-san said she was my ‘current-girlfriend’ was because she couldn’t keep quiet when she saw me unable to say anything to Asatani-san, my ‘ex-girlfriend’.

It was not like we were really dating or anything.

“I’m sorry about earlier, really… I don’t blame you for misunderstanding. “

“No, it’s okay. Takane-san was just saying that for my sake, and it’s not like she’s seriously going out with me or anything…”

“So… That’s why…”

Takane-san was struggling to convey something to me. She tried to look at me, but I still couldn’t look directly at her and averted my eyes.

Something was different.

It was like a dream. The most talented and the most beautiful girl that everyone looked at when she walked by. That was something that an ordinary person like me should not have to deal with, right?

But what if that wasn’t the case?

What if what Takane-san said to Asatani-san wasn’t just words in the spur of the moment.

“Earlier… Senda-kun asked me like that and that startled me…”

“Oh… I guess I was rude for saying it like that…”

“N-No…”

We could only speak vaguely to each other as we were both flustered.

Then Takane-san suddenly looked up, and our eyes met firmly for the first time after a while.

We both started laughing. I couldn’t tell that Takane-san’s face was bright red, but I was well aware that mine was, and that was funny in itself.

“But I’m glad. I was self-consciously depressed and thought I wouldn’t be able to talk to Takane-san for a while.”

“That’s… No. I knew that would happen if I didn’t clear up the misunderstanding. That’s why…”

“Eh…?”

Takane-san walked towards me as if she had made up her mind.

The distance between us was so close that even if people saw us, they would hardly notice the other. I could tell she was going to get even closer but I couldn’t step back.

If I take even one step back here, it would mean rejection.

I was happy that Takane-san was here. That was for sure… But the distance between us was getting too close for me to remain calm and collected.

“Until Senda-kun asked me what I felt… I didn’t understand my own feelings. I thought that time would give me the answer or something like that.”

“…Feelings?”

“I had just met Senda-kun, and I didn’t know much about you. But when you suddenly knew that I was feeling this way… I was afraid.”

If you asked me where this was going… No way… There was no way for us to misunderstand each other now.

“But… if I could have another… chance…”

Still, she didn’t wait for long.

She took a deep breath and calmed herself down.

“Once again, let me say this, Nagito Senda-san.” (T/N : Yes, she used –san here.)

She said with a hint of embarrassment as her eyes turned moist.

“Please go out with me.”

All the sounds that I had been hearing ceased.

I thought that I would never be able to get anyone to like me ever again.

It was only yesterday that I had been dumped by the first person I had ever loved so much.

“I’m not asking you to decide right away… But, can I do my best from now on so that Senda-kun will turn his attention to me?”

“Well… That’s…”

“I think Senda-kun still likes Asatani-san. I… don’t have any experience with romance, but I think I know that much.”

I could tell by looking at her. If that’s how far she was going for an unrequited love, then I gave up too easily.

Even so, Takane-san made a confession to me.

She didn’t seem like lying when she said she wanted to go out with me just now. She looked serious.

Yes, she was serious about wanting to be my ‘current-girlfriend’.

(…………!!!)

A wave of emotions washed over me too late.

What did Takane-san just say to me? Do her best to get me to turn my attention to her, that’s what she said for sure.

I didn’t believe that I had the right to choose or anything like that from the beginning.

In the first place, Asatani-san didn’t see me as a boyfriend, so it was not even a matter of choice.

She said we were friends and I accepted that. Asatani-san also asked me to let her know if I had a new girlfriend.

(In fact, just before at the library, wasn’t it as good as done?)

‘From now on, I’ll be the one going out with Senda-kun, so I’m his ‘current-girlfriend’.’

After Takane-san said that, Asatani-san seemed to say something, but her voice was too quiet to be heard.

Perhaps, she was saying what she thought of the idea of Takane-san and I going out together. In any case, if Asatani-san had taken Takane-san’s words as they were–

I would have already introduced my ‘current-girlfriend’ to Asatani-san.

“I don’t expect you to like me more than Asatani-san right away. I think there are a lot of memories between Senda-kun and Asatani-san that I don’t know about…”

My answer would determine whether or not I needed to correct what just happened in the library with Asatani-san.

Takane, with the setting sun in the background, was still a beautiful girl that you couldn’t help but admire even at a time like this. But if I was being honest, she looked a bit bleary-eyed.

“Ta- Takane-san…”

I couldn’t even tell her to calm down. There was this thing called ‘wall-slam’, but even though there was no wall behind me, I felt like I was being slammed. My instinct told me that I couldn’t move carelessly. (T/N : He mentioned a ‘kabedon’)

“I don’t understand Asatani-san’s feelings. If she was in a relationship with Senda-kun, how could she easily say that you’re just friends.”

“Well… That’s because I’m not attractive enough to be her boyfriend.”

“If so, she wouldn’t have told me that she had dated you.”

A thought that had been smoldering somewhere in the back of my mind, but I had unconsciously dismissed it.

She knew my feelings from the start. Asatani-san used that as an answer to my confession.

It wasn’t like she wanted to go out with me, so if the relationship suddenly changed to just us being friends, I figured it was inevitable.

That was how I convinced myself. I was afraid that people would think I wasn’t giving up after being dumped if I clinged to my little hope.

“At that time, I thought you were… lovers. I can’t believe how quickly things cooled off after spring break. There must be a reason. That is what Asatani-san is refusing to say.”

“I think she felt bad for me. Or that she might be mad.”

I put what I thought into words. For Takane-san however, it was something that could not be easily compromised.

“If that’s how she felt, would she tell me that she was your ‘ex-girlfriend’?”

“………”

“I think it took a lot of courage for her to say that. However… I think it’s unfair to keep the reason why she went back to being ‘friends’, and still admit as being Senda-kun’s ‘ex-girlfriend’.”

I didn’t care if she was just my friend. As long as she didn’t hate me, that was fine.

When she said ‘ex-girlfriend’, I was glad to know that I wasn’t completely out of Asatani-san’s thoughts.

Perhaps it was a weakness due to the fact that I fell in love with her, but I considered Asatani-san as my absolute favorite, and even now that I had been dumped, that hadn’t changed.

“Senda-kun… Isn’t it frustrating?”

“Frustrating…?”

“I want Asatani-san to think that she shouldn’t have dumped Senda-kun so easily. Because if I don’t, I’m sure she won’t say how she really feels.”

“Why do you have to go to such lengths when you’ve only just met me, Takane-san…?”

Takane-san was more upset than I was.

I knew it was tactless to ask why, but I couldn’t help but ask.

She had looked angry for some time now, but she suddenly softened her tone. It was as if, to me, who was such a disappointment, she had no other choice but to say it directly.

“It was not easy to say I want to go out with you. Even if we just met, that doesn’t matter.”

“With me… Is that fine?”

“Yes. I want Senda-kun.”

I was about to ask the same question again. I wondered if it was okay for me to be like this.

Takane-san, who had been looking down in embarrassment earlier, was now staring straight at me. I knew once again that she was someone who could be this strong when she took the chance.

“You’ve helped me, and not only that, you are very vulnerable and sensitive. You’ve been in so much pain. Still… Being so kind… I really admire that. I want you to tell me other parts about yourself that I’ve yet to know.”

She saw the good in everything. I was a little more worried than embarrassed.

I didn’t know a lot about Takane-san.

After Asatani-san dumped me, I thought the day I would be able to date someone else would never come.

Beyond all those thoughts, what do I want to do now?

“If… Senda-kun and I… go out together, that would move Asatani-san’s heart. One day she would tell her true feelings. Even then, I will still do my best… That’s why…”

“Thank you… Takane-san.”

“… What is the ‘Thank you’ for…?”

Takane-san looked uneasy, wondering what the thank you meant.

Of course, I meant well. I was just very embarrassed to say it.

“For everything you’ve done for me. You even said you wanted to go out with me. But I’ve never had anyone confess to me before, so I don’t really know what to do.”

“Then… We’ll figure it out together. This is my first time too.”

Her smile and reassurance looked a little different than before.

It was not a clear statement. But still, at that moment, I was sure it had begun.

“So… To commemorate the beginning of our relationship… Can I?”

“Eh…?!”

She said it in a slightly seductive way. I immediately understood her intentions and pulled out my phone.

We brought our phone close together and the exchange of addresses was over. When Takane-san checked the screen of her phone, she traced it with her finger happily and smiled at me.

Eh… What’s with this angel, I suddenly felt like thinking of something frivolous. However, Takane-san received some kind of a call and she looked at me apologetically.

“I’m sorry… At such an important time… I have another lesson today, so I need to get back home.”

“I see, then we’d better hurry… If you’re fine with the bike, I can take you to the station.”

“Um…  I know I’m relying on Senda-kun too much, but…”

Takane-san said and showed me the screen of her phone coyly.

What was displayed was a phone-call history screen. There were several calls from a number called ‘Tennis Club Member’. This meant that maybe they were trying to recruit Takane-san after school again.

“I gave her my number because she’s a senior girl, but… I didn’t expect this to happen.”

My initial image of her as an ironclad beauty with excellent grades was becoming a little different as I spent more time with her.

Her honesty, for which, got herself in trouble, made me feel protective of her. If I may say so without any fear of misunderstanding then I wanted to protect her, pure and simple.

“Then, let’s go to the station again today.”

“Yes… Thank you, Senda-kun, no… Nagito-san.”

For some reason, when I called her by her first name, it was a term of endearment. If I thought about it, the realization that I had started dating her came over me, and my face naturally broke into a smile.

“I’m sorry… But… No-Nozomi-san’s name is…”

“I’m not sure if I’m ready either… We need to get to know each other better. Then, I hope you will change the way you address me…”

I failed the name-calling challenge. Even so, she gave me a positive response.

We agreed that in the presence of other students, Takane-san would call me the same as she always had. I think that we should be concerned about being seen since it was the first time for both me and Takane-san. Truth was… I felt a little disappointed.

“Nagito-san…”

“Hmm?”

When she spoke to me in a whisper, she called me by my name, and to be honest, it made me nervous. I had no idea when I would get used to it.

“Nagi-kun… sounds closer. I definitely don’t want to lose.”

“No, no, Takane-san has her own way of addressing me…”

“Nagi-san… no, Nagi-sama. This isn’t it… I guess I should just go with Nagito-san…”

“I’m a little embarrassed to be called ‘-san’… But I’ll also call you that way.”

“Yes, …… I’ll always be prepared to be called by my first name, too.”

I wondered what we looked like when we were seriously discussing such things.

Thinking about this, I found myself walking past the senior members of the tennis club who were standing near the gate.

I felt like I had given them a terrible look, but Takane-san said that she didn’t want to be recruited, and I was going to be her shield until they understood.

“There they are, Nagito-san…”

“Sorry, sorry. I guess we should have at least said hello, so as not to make a scene.”

“That’s not what I meant… But I think I have caused a lot of trouble.”

Even as she said this, Takane-san seemed to be enjoying herself so much, I couldn’t help but admire her profile.

I wondered what I should talk about as I walked with her to the station. She seemed to be thinking the same thing. The atmosphere then felt so comfortable.