I flinched as a hand came to rest on my shoulder. Ian's sigh from behind me held a darker tone than what he was letting on. We were both staring at the same thing; the reason for my dampened mood, the freak list.
I thought things couldn't get any worse until he mumbled something I had buried at the far back of my mind.
"There is no Cornelia, is there? You totally made her up." His haunting whisper, as sluggish as it was held a darker meaning, a warning of sorts. I shook his arm off, pushing my fear back so he wouldn't have more of a reason to taunt me. His eyes, though dull and distant, held a glimmer of amusement as he assessed me. "I was doing some thinking and connecting." He winked.
I'm in trouble.
"Karma caught up to you pretty fast." He laughed, hitting the freak list with his pointer, and pulled me in once more, adding on when he saw my horror-filled face, "Oh, I won't tell Riley. Not that I have to anyway, I mean. You puked all over her precious car so it's pretty much over for you. Unless..."
I hate the way hope rose in my chest as I listened to every word he uttered like he could actually do something. Ian snickered.
"Just kidding." He tapped my shoulder in what he thought was comfort. I winced at the pain. "You're dead, Harley. It was nice knowing you, though. You're pretty cool for a loser."
Well, there's my answer.
I guess they don't care that I'm Cash's sister.
"Thanks," I muttered at his retreating figure. "for not telling Riley."
He laughed again, sending a mocking salute my way before leaving me to deal with my inner voices. They were doing a number on me and it was taking everything I had to shut them out and stop my hands from shaking.
I failed to do either but managed to slide the glass open and tear the list down before anyone else saw.
If they haven't already seen it, that is...
Walking into class after that felt like taking on all the world's anxiety. My footsteps felt heavy and my mind filled with guesses of what everyone in class thought of me. I couldn't shake the feeling that they were all judging me and to make matters worse, I was handed another detention slip for coming in late, adding an extra time to what seemed like an exhibition starring me to the entire class.
I looked to my only saving grace, my best friend, only to find his seat empty. Forget my hands, my legs began to shake. This can't be happening.
At least Melissa wasn't here. She would have made me feel ten times worse with her barely noticeable smirk of satisfaction. She loved seeing me down. It was like a highlight for her and she looked forward to every bad thing in my life.
Catherine, the only other Popular aside from my best friend that I shared this class with, looked up the minute I walked in. The unreadable stare she sent my way was uncomfortable and I ended up breaking eye contact first. She didn't bother me after that, choosing to focus on whatever she was jotting down in her notebook.
Lowering my head to hide my face, I made my way to my seat. Without a thought, I tried to sit only to come into contact with nothing but air and fell on my butt.
"Damn, sorry, I was trying to pull it out for you."
Richard
"It's fine." I mumbled, avoiding his mocking stare as I picked myself up from the floor, catching Syllas's glare in the process. He turned away, a noticeable tick in his jaw.
I didn't have the leisure to wonder what I had done to him this time and I was grateful that we didn't have to share a seat in this class. I sat back down, making sure to feel the chair under me this time. The teacher didn't react to itâhe ignored it, actuallyâbut everyone else did.
End credits.
My brain itched to block out their laughter.
I held back unnecessary tears and forced the lump in my throat down. If I start crying, it'll just make things worse and besides, this time I actually deserved it. I should never have deluded myself into believing anything good could ever come out of The Populars' party. I got ahead of myself as usual and now I'm paying for it.
I'm so stupid
Class seemed to drag on forever. I got spitballed today, something I thought we had left behind in our freshman year. No such luck. They were relentless all through class time, only giving me a break when the teacher was watching us. Not that he'd care or anything. It was just a matter of respect for the teacher who was doing a great job of ignoring the happenings around him out of his line of vision.
He could clearly tell that they were going out of their way to hurt me but he was too much of a coward to speak on my behalf for once because he was one of those teachers. The ones that want to be accepted so bad that they overlook certain behaviors to impress the students they thought mattered most. I never liked him anyway.
I wish they'd try this during English. I just know Mr. Melark wouldn't stand for any of it.
It was two whole periods of them sending gross projectiles my way and me discreetly trying to pull the worst of it out of my curls. I pulled my hoodie up over my head.
The class clowns even made a whole display of fake-puking all over me which I responded to by burying my face in the folds of my hands.
Still, I managed to hold it together just fine through all of it.
I daydreamed about what it would have been like if I had gone to a totally different school from this one. The new faces I had seen at the bonfire seemed a whole lot nicer than anyone here. All these people have ever done is make me want to meet my dad a bit sooner.
I daydreamed about ways I could try to meet him instead and their voices faded out for a bit.
By the end of second period, I had decided to skip classes in between. Maybe that way, they'll forget all about me and focus on literally anything else.
I was under the bleachers finding solace in my texts with Hero when a throat cleared behind me. I flinched and whirled around, meeting Principal Hemsher's curious stare.
"No games today?" He asked, stretching out a hand. I sighed and placed it in his care, noticing his pomeranian wasn't with him today.
"Where's your guard dog?"
"He's in therapy today. I'll be taking this." He held my phone up before pocketing it and I groaned, though a bit appreciative of his answer even though he didn't have to explain about his precious pomeranian whereabouts with someone he considered a troubled teen."You should be in class, Miss Smith."
"I asked to see the nurse." I lied. He saw right through it and, with a sigh, gestured for me to follow him. I did as he wanted but kept my head down just in case someone recognized me and decided to avenge Riley's pick-up.
I really didn't need any more of that today.
Donovan was still MIA. He and his picture perfect Melissa had apparently skipped school today from what I had heard from a bunch of jealous girls in the lavatory. Imagine my reaction at finding that out from an outside source. He hadn't even bothered to text me about it.
Looks like I'll be riding with Hero again. I wonder what he'll say about my mistake. Riley is his girlfriend after all. Maybe he'll finally get down to hating me too.
I've been avoiding Riley all day. I don't know what she'll do to me when she sees me, and I'd rather not find out.
Lost in thought, I didn't realize Principal Hemsher had stopped and ended up ramming into his back. I stumbled back, an apology already on the tip of my tongue when he held a hand up, signaling that I be quiet. He pulled out a copy of what I had just torn down and handed it to me.
I wanted to cry.
"Drinking, Harley, are you serious?" I could hear the disappointment in his tone as I followed him into his office. "What were you thinking?"
A talk with my mom's ex about underage drinking? Whoever's in charge of my story should just get it over with and kill me now. Seriously, was I a serial killer in my past life or something? That's the only sensible reason I could think up for this amount of bad luck.
My reply was mumbled. I didn't want to talk about this right now. I guess I'd be chucking this up the list of horrible, embarrassing moments that I'd never be able to live down.
"You're not a kid anymore, Harley." He continued on as he took his seat behind the desk, folding his hands under his chin like a disappointed parent. I briefly wondered what mom's reaction to this would be like. "Detentions, I can brush off easily enough, but this? Parents are going to think I'm favoring you over their kids. Did you even consider your standing before you went on to do this? You're representing your entire neighborhoodâthe largest one might I add. Thisâthis is not a good look for you, Hedgehog."
"There it is. The reason you've been hounding me since the year started." I was trying really hard to blink away the tears right now. This isn't fair. "So that's why you've just been on my case lately."
"Teenagers," He muttered with a sigh then gestured for me to take a seat. I remained standing. "I'm not 'on your case', Harley. You're too young to be drinkingâ"
"So is every other teen here." I nearly screamed, gesturing all around us. "I'm not the only teenager who does this. You know that, already!"
I'm not gonna cry. I'm not gonna cry. I'm not gonna cry.
"Does this look like something every other teenager has experienced after drinking?" He held the freak list up once more and I yanked it away, tearing it in half. He sighed, "You're making this more difficult than it needs to be."
"Because you're not being fair." I breathed, tossing the paper in the trash. I turned to him, crossing my arms. "Why don't you talk to them instead? Why only me?" I just wanted to have fun for once and look what that got me.
"I'm hoping you'll tell me who did this. It's been non-stop denials since this morning. None of you bratsâI mean, kidsâ are working with me here and that's not going to help your case, Harley. At best, you'd get suspended and the matter will end there."
I think my life flashed before my eyes. I had a pretty good idea of what they'll do to me now that they've been interrogated because of me.
"You made it worse." I mumbled, already making my way to the door. "Now, they'll never leave me alone."
"I'm trying to help you. Come on, Harley, work with me here. Give me a name, at least."
How does he not understand that I can't afford to be a whistle-blower? IÂ don't even know who's behind this. I only have a guessâa memory from the bonfireâ and what if I'm wrong about it? What if I accuse her of something she has no idea about?
Donovan would hate me for it.
"I don't expect you to understand, Prinipal Hemsher. You've never had to deal with people hating you for no reason. You've never had to avoid people just to eat in peace."
I breathed out, calming myself before I walked into the now crowded halls. It was lunchtime and I just know everyone was on the lookout for Riley's fury towards me.
"Just go ahead and expel me already." I mumbled and left him to think it over. The more I think about it, the more I realize how much I really don't want to be here. Maybe a different, nontoxic environment is what I need right now.
I should have just stayed and listened to him more because what awaited me out of the office was way worse than listening to my mom's ex try to play the role of father figure.
I should have known Riley would never let it go.
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