Chapter 47: Blue Scarf

DANICA

Klaus and I returned to my home. Davina was there, sipping tea and flipping through a book.

“Did you find what you were looking for?” she asked.

I paused, then nodded. I had met my father before the biggest battle of my life. That was all I needed.

I scanned the room for Hugo, but he was nowhere to be found. Everyone seemed to be settling into their tasks, finally catching their breath.

I wandered through the house until I spotted him. Hugo was lounging on the porch couch, looking worn out but not asleep. I approached him.

“Can we talk?” I asked, raising my voice over the chirping crickets.

He glanced at me and nodded. We were alone, so we didn’t bother to move. I sat beside him, his weary eyes on me.

“How are the preparations going?” I asked, trying to break the ice.

He stared into the distance. “Most are supportive and will be there. Some were difficult, so I didn’t bother. Forced energy doesn’t work anyway…” he trailed off, leaving us in an awkward silence.

I wasn’t sure how to broach the next subject.

“Hugo…are we friends?” I asked after a few heavy sighs.

He seemed to stiffen, then shrugged to get more comfortable. “We’re not friends, Danica,” he said, his lip twitching slightly.

“We’re either nothing or more than friends. There’s no in-between,” he added, causing my heart to crack.

I couldn’t imagine us as just friends, not when I knew him so intimately, not when I wanted more. I wanted him as my soulmate.

“That doesn’t mean we should forget about us,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. We could still be friendly, couldn’t we? I wanted to be something to him, even if it was just a little more than nothing.

“It would be easier if I could,” he muttered.

We lapsed into silence. He didn’t say anything else, and I was left without a rebuttal.

Despite his words, he was the only one I trusted with my next question. I turned to face him.

“Will you kill me?” I blurted out.

He looked at me, not surprised in the least. “I don’t think I’m the right person…” he said nonchalantly, as if my question was expected.

Celeste had said that the person who kills me should be either my worst enemy or my favorite person.

“Please, I don’t have anyone else to ask. Celeste won’t do it, and Daisy… I don’t think she could handle it. And I don’t want a stranger to do it,” I said, fiddling with my fingers. “I think you’re the only one who could do it right.”

He chuckled. “You think I could handle killing you?”

“I think you’d cope better than the rest,” I replied, meeting his gaze.

“If you die, I won’t cope at all, Danica. No matter who does it, I’ll die with you,” he said.

All I wanted then was to be in his arms, enveloped in his scent, but I knew that was wrong.

I shook my head. “You’re my guardian angel, Hugo. You’re supposed to protect me, then move on to the next person.”

“Danica, I’ll die with you!” he repeated, emphasizing each word.

“You have a duty as a guardian, Hugo! You’re supposed to protect someone else…”

Astra appeared in the doorway. “Oddly enough, he’s never cared about that duty before,” she said.

“Stay out of this!” Hugo growled at her.

She looked almost amused. “She’s likely to die, and you’re still lying. All you do is lie, Hugo. Filling this poor girl’s head with lies.”

She moved closer to him, and we both stood. “But you made a big deal out of protecting her. How does it feel knowing your efforts might be in vain?”

Celeste walked in. “Astra, this isn’t necessary.”

“Why not? I’ve got a thing against liars.” Astra’s icy gaze could have frozen Hugo solid.

“He did what was necessary!” Celeste jumped to Hugo’s defense.

“I can’t stand seeing Danica treated like a fool. She’s a leader, not a pawn. She deserves honesty and respect!”

“Honesty?” I questioned. Hugo wouldn’t meet my eyes. Celeste looked anxious, while Astra’s eyes sparkled with triumph.

A wicked smile spread across her face. “He wasn’t your designated protector.”

Celeste tried to steer the conversation. “There are more pressing issues!”

Astra’s grin remained. “I think truth is important to those who make sacrifices for us.” She approached Hugo, meeting his gaze. “You made a sacrifice for Danica. Three years ago, right?”

Three years ago? I didn’t even know him then.

He’d always hinted at doing everything in his power to keep me safe, but what exactly did he do?

“For her!” he snapped. “I did it for her. You wouldn’t understand. You’re as cold as they come, you have no right to judge me.”

She reached up to touch his face, but he swatted her hand away. She just smirked.

“Cold-hearted?” she taunted. “But you’re the one who gave his heart away. That night when you chose her, knowing exactly what it meant.”

His jaw clenched and his fists tightened. She was relishing this.

“Did you think she wouldn’t fall for you again? Or that you’d be strong enough to resist her?”

“Hugo,” I called out, but he couldn’t meet my gaze.

Hugo turned and rushed inside, leaving us standing there. He just left.

I saw pity in Celeste’s eyes. Had everyone else figured it out before me?

The visions I’d had. They weren’t random. They had a purpose, just like my dreams. They weren’t dreams at all.

I walked past them, past everyone. I headed for his room. Part of me hoped he wouldn’t be there, so I wouldn’t have to face the truth that had been staring me in the face.

Hugo was by the window when I approached him, staring into the darkness.

I swallowed hard. He saw my reflection in the window. “I can’t find my scarf,” I told him.

He turned to me, walked to his closet, and pulled out a dark blue knitted scarf. The same one from my dreams. The one I’d wrapped around his injured hand.

My heart sank further than I thought possible. I’d known before I came here, but the reality only hit me now.

He held the scarf tightly and returned to the window, this time facing me.

I mustered the last bit of strength I had. “I have these dreams—” I began, but he cut me off.

“Those aren’t dreams,” he sounded exhausted, weak.

“Visions?” I asked.

“Memories…” he said quietly.

I shook my head. “That never happened.”

He swallowed hard. “It did. Three years ago.”

“No.” I shook my head. “Because if it was real, you wouldn’t have left.”

All that I’d dreamt. All that I’d felt in my dreams.

He didn’t respond.

“Hugo…” My voice was barely a whisper.

He looked down. “I found out you were going to be assigned a guardian angel. And I knew no one else would protect you like I would. I was born a Guardian but I ran from it. Was exiled. I came back because of you. Because I was the only one who would break every rule for you. Who would do dark things for you. Because I would be nothing without you. I fell in love with you, Danica. I had to do whatever I could to protect you!”

“Why can’t I remember it?” I asked, my voice trembling.

“I had to erase myself from your life. So it would work. So you wouldn’t mourn me, so I could be a stranger who protects you.”

“You took my memories? So you could be my guardian angel? You just left me?” I sobbed. “But I had other guardians… wasn’t that enough?”

He cleared his throat, guilt etched on his face. “You only had one guardian.”

I held my tongue, waiting for him to break the silence.

“Klaus was your original protector, capable of creating an energy shield. Now I understand why you were given such a power. I assigned others to you.”

“You could have stayed. You could have been my protector!” I protested.

“I couldn’t. Protectors have an unseen bond with those they guard. They feel their pain. Their strength increases,” he explained.

I shook my head in disbelief. “No! You could have stayed. If you were so concerned, you could have stayed and protected me, leaving the protector duties to others.”

“I couldn’t!” His voice rose before he let out a heavy sigh. “They wouldn’t let me interfere with the protectors. They wanted something in return. The guards enjoyed a good joke, they were always up for a trick. So they made me an offer.” His voice was barely above a whisper. “They knew I despised being a protector. So they allowed me to do as I pleased if I became your protector. That was my price.”

“I never would have asked…” I began.

He cut me off. “And I would never let you die! Not if I could help it.”

Tears began to stream down my face. “Was it all for nothing?” I asked. “Those protectors mean nothing to me now.”

He dropped his arms to his sides, looking defeated. “I thought I could help you… I thought it was what was needed to save you. I realize now what a fool I was.”

“A fool?” I scoffed. “Does it feel good?” I asked. “To have me foolishly fall for you a second time, only to be hurt again. Leave!”

“Danica, I never stopped loving you,” he confessed.

“What does that mean to me?! What good does it do me if you agreed to be imprisoned because you love me?” I demanded.

His jaw tightened as he fought back tears. “I don’t care what they do to me.”

“I wish you had considered what it would do to me,” I retorted.

“I did. I thought about it. That’s why I erased myself from your memory. And if you hadn’t seen the celestial rulers, you would have never known.”

The person who killed me had to be either my worst enemy or the person I loved the most.

Right now, Hugo was both. He was the person I hated the most, and the person I loved the most.

Overwhelmed by anger and love, I stormed towards him and kissed him.

His surprise left him frozen. I didn’t know what I was feeling. I hated him more than anyone, but my mind was a whirlwind, reminding me that all good things come to an end and that nothing lasts forever.

I didn’t want this emptiness. I feared it. I had nothing left to lose.

My tears mingled with our bitter kiss. We clung to each other, gasping for breath, holding onto the last shred of sanity.

I pulled away, my chest heavy with emotion. “I want you to be the one to kill me!” I spat out in anger.

He lowered his gaze and nodded reluctantly.

I didn’t blame him for not wanting to do it. If I were in his shoes, I wouldn’t want to either. But maybe, just this once, I could afford to be selfish.

“You are the only one who has ever made sense to me,” I whispered, leaning in close to him. He didn’t pull away, but I turned his head slightly and kissed his cheek.

For the next few hours, I had nothing to do but wait for everything to finally end. Every now and then, someone would knock on the door about the energy shield gathering. Once, a mother and her two little girls came by. Celeste later told me they were witches.

They were quick to respond to our request and offered to help right away. I just didn’t think she liked me very much. Maybe I didn’t fit her idea of a hero. Or maybe it was because I only partly felt like one.

I think I managed to close my eyes for a few hours, but my sleep was restless, my mind filled with a thousand thoughts. I was resting in the living room when Dane nudged my shoulder.

“It’s time,” she said.

I looked around to see everyone heading out. I nodded at her.

“I’ll be right there,” I said, waiting for her to follow the others before I stood up and took in my surroundings. My home. I could be leaving this place for the last time, leaving this life for the last time.

But what did I have to offer here? Just filling up empty space. Maybe it was true that even the smallest things make a difference. I wanted to know what difference I made here, in this human world. Would it be different if I wasn’t here?

I made my way out, noticing some people were already pulling away in their cars, while others were just getting ready to leave. Hugo was waiting for me, with Celeste and Daisy already settled in the backseat, leaving the front seat open for me.

I slid into the car and Celeste reached out, touching my shoulder with a warm smile.

“How are you feeling?” she asked, her tone reminiscent of a mother sending her daughter off to a dance recital.

“Like I’m about to die,” I admitted, my voice trembling with fear.

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic,” Celeste said, her casual attitude about the whole situation baffling me. It seemed like everyone here, except Daisy, was always ready to sacrifice themselves for anything.

I found it strangely beautiful how little they cared about material things, unlike regular humans.

“What are my chances of survival?” I asked, not directing the question to anyone in particular.

Hugo was the one who responded.

“If we do everything right, about thirty percent. But if even the smallest thing goes wrong, your chances decrease,” he said, his eyes never leaving the road.

“Well, that’s better than zero, right?” Daisy chimed in, trying to lighten the mood.

“Yeah…” I agreed. Then I asked, “So, what could go wrong?”

Hugo finally glanced at me. “Absolutely everything,” he said. “There’s a chance I could kill you too quickly, and you won’t be able to get up in time. Or if I kill you too slowly, your body won’t be able to recover due to the time you spent suffering here, making your soul too weak to travel.

“There’s also the possibility that the energy field isn’t strong enough. And if you pass out before your soul is up, then it’s over.”

“And here I thought you had the easy job,” Daisy commented. “I’m not saying that killing is easy… I just thought it was a quick stab to the ribcage and done… I didn’t realize there was a chance to mess this up.”

I felt a chill run down my spine at the thought of a weapon protruding from my stomach.

“How much time will I have?” I asked.

“In our time, about five minutes. But time moves slower up there, which is why it’s important that you don’t get distracted. Just do what you need to do and come back,” Hugo instructed, pulling the car over to the side of the road.

We all got out and I could see an orange glow emanating from the forest. Without a word, we all followed the light.

The walk wasn’t long, only a few minutes, but soon enough I saw hundreds of people gathered around a massive bonfire, twice the height of a man.

***

There were various groups of people, some looking deathly pale, others hiding their faces under capes, and some with features that were distinctly non-human.

Celeste approached me. “Those pale ones are vampires,” she said, and I quickly looked away.

She pointed to another group standing apart from the others. “Werewolves,” she explained.

She then gestured to a group of stunningly beautiful young women. “Those are other nymphs, they’ve been very helpful,” she said.

She gestured toward another group. “Those under the capes are either wizards or witches. They prefer to keep their identities hidden. There are many other kinds, but these are the ones who showed up. If you see individuals wandering alone, they’re probably fairies, wolf rogues, elementals, or some other type of mythical creature,” Celeste explained as I was led to the center of the gathering, in front of the fire.

***

Everyone positioned themselves to get a good view as Astra joined us. Hugo went to stand with the other guardian angels. Celeste and Daisy did the same, leaving only me and Astra in front of the blazing fire.

“Mythical!” Astra called out, and the crowd fell silent. “Bow down for our ruler!” she commanded, her voice echoing through the silence, causing me to widen my eyes in shock.

To my surprise, no one protested. Everyone dropped to one knee and bowed their heads, even Celeste and Daisy.

“Danica Atlas!” Astra announced, dropping to her knee as well, leaving me the last one standing.

I felt a surge of power, my body filling with energy and pride. They were all counting on me, believing that I was the one who could save them. Maybe… just maybe, I was the one who could save them…

Suddenly, I felt another pair of eyes on me. They belonged to someone who bore a striking resemblance to me, only she was more enchanting, more powerful. She radiated confidence. Her gaze met mine as she remained on one knee, a smile gracing her lips, unlike any I’d seen before.

That was Adelie Murrell, my twin sister. I could feel it, a connection deeper than I ever imagined possible.

She gave a slight nod, a silent message meant only for me. It was as if she was saying, ~you’ve got this~.

Then there was Hugo, his gaze fixed on me, perhaps for the last time.

A sudden realization washed over me. I had been living my entire life for this moment. Every day I had woken up, every breath I had taken. It all led to this.

I lifted my gaze to the inky blackness above. I felt like a hypocrite, praying to a god I had never put my faith in. I didn’t pray for my own return. I simply prayed for the return of the day, even if I wasn’t there to witness it.

“Let it be.”