Chapter 73: Book 2 Chapter 4.1: This Sucks

While Vell and Kim put the final touches on the ritual circle, Lee handled making the call. Thankfully, the recipient answered quickly.

“Hello, Vasili?” Lee began. “Yes, it’s been a while, hasn’t it. I’m terribly sorry to have to get right to business, dear, but there’s something that’s come up on short notice. There’s really no tactful way to put this, but we need blood.”

Vasili said something on the other end of the line as Lee stood in silence, then turned to Harley, covering the receiver on her phone for a moment.

“How much blood do we need, again?”

“Five gallons,” Harley reminded her.

“Five gallons,” Lee repeated, before pausing. “Yes, I know that’s a lot. Of course I’ll reimburse you-Well yes, I figured you wouldn’t have that much on hand, but you’re the only person I know who could acquire it.”

Lee put a hand on her hip and paced for a while, the universal behavior of anyone who was on the phone long enough.

“I’m aware that this is inconvenient for you, and I’ll do whatever I can to make it up to you,” Lee said. “Yes, of course. Thank you, Vasili. Would you mind if I sent someone else to pick it up? We’re a bit preoccupied with prep work.”

Lee nodded at her phone for no reason.

“Thank you again, dear, I know I’m asking a lot of you,” Lee said. “I’ll talk to you later. Goodbye.”

She hung up the phone and turned to Hawke and Derek.

“Would you mind going to the junior dorms to fetch a bucket of blood for us?”

“Why us?” Derek protested.

“Because you’re the only dudes not doing anything,” Harley scolded, as she continued preparing the laser grid.

“Indeed. Kim and Vell will be preoccupied with the shrinking runes for some time, and I still need to finish reading from the collected works of Shakespeare. That leaves you to get the five gallons of blood.”

Derek sighed and relented, taking the slightly less stubborn Hawke with him. The two stepped out of the microwave laboratory and Hawke glanced over his shoulder briefly.

“You actually understand what’s going on in there?”

“I stopped paying attention once trilobites got involved,” Derek said.

“Derek, that was the first thing they said.”

“Yeah, and? Nothing they say ever makes sense, whether you listen to it or not. Come on. Let’s get this blood.”

After that brief stint of dialogue, the duo proceeded to their destination in silence. Other than being loopers, Derek and Hawke two didn’t have much in common -and Hawke was usually at least partially paralyzed with fear and confusion, as well. It made for an awkward walk until they found their target. He was short, dark skinned, and stocky, with a dull expression on his face but a keen glimmer in his eye. And he had a bucket. Hawke thanked any god that was listening that the bucket had a lid on it. The broad-shouldered stranger pushed the bucket their way and then stepped back.

“You Lee’s friends, I’m guessing?”

“Yeah, you’re Vasili?” Derek said.

“Yeah. So what’s Lee up to this time?”

“I have no idea,” Hawke whimpered. He took hold of the offered bucket of blood and contemplated what his life had come to.

“Why do you even have this much blood?” Derek asked.

“Why do you even need this much blood?” Vasili countered. “This works better if neither of us ask too many questions.”

“No, I’m serious, why do you have this?” Derek said. “Are you a vampire or something?”

In spite of himself, Vasili flinched. Derek seized on the moment of vulnerability.

“Oh my god, you’re a vampire, aren’t you?”

“Shut the fuck up and take your blood, man,” Vasili said. He took a few more steps back and started to walk away.

“Hey, I’m not done-”

“Derek, leave him alone,” Hawke said. “Come on, we have to get this bucket back.”

“There’s a fucking vampire! That’s a bigger problem than trilobites or whatever,” Derek said. “And why are you not worried about this! You’re scared of everything, how is a vampire not freaking you out?”

“Vampires are people too,” Hawke said. “Or were, I think, depending on who you ask. The point is he’s clearly not bothering anyone. He’s even helping us.”

“It’s a trick,” Derek suggested. ‘This is all to get us to lower our guard, or something.”

“Don’t be an asshole, Derek, just let him mind his own business,” Hawke said. If Lee trusted Vasili enough to ask for help, he was probably a decent person, vampire or not. “Now help me carry this bucket back to the lab.”

Derek reluctantly did his fair share of the work, checking over his shoulder for vampire sneak attacks every few seconds. Vasili failed to appear and suck his blood. For now, Derek though to himself, for now.

THE NEXT DAY

“Derek! Put your phone down!”

“I just need to check something real quick,” he protested. Harley slapped the phone out of his hands.

“No phones unless you want no bones, Derek,” she scolded. The harmonic frequency of the universe had been altered in such a way that phone vibrations resonated at a level that caused the human skeleton to melt. While they searched for the source of the mishap, the loopers had instituted a strict no-phones rule, for obvious reasons.

“I needed that,” Derek said.

“You need an intact skeleton more,” Harely said. “Come on. We got to find out what caused this.”

“Have we checked with the vampire yet?”

“What about this situation makes you suspect vampire?” Lee scolded. They’d had a chat regarding Vasili’s identity, and Lee was more than a bit annoyed by his insistence Vasili would one day be a threat. Barring one unfortunate apocalyptic incident in his first year, in which another vampire had accidentally bitten him and turned him into a deadly double vampire, Vasili had never hurt anyone.

“Let’s find some actual solutions, please,” Hawke pleaded. “I want to call my mom.”

“Fine, but I’ll bet it’s going to be the vampire,” Derek said.

It was not the vampire.

THE DAY AFTER

“Have we checked with the vampire, though?”

“What about this situation screams ‘vampire’ to you, Derek?” Harley asked, as she tossed aside another mislabeled hydrogen container. The unfortunate mixup had resulted in a campus covered in highly flammable hydrogen balloons on the previous loop.

“I don’t know, the sabotage, everybody vulnerable, necks ready for biting-”

“Shut up and go find the helium tanks,” Harley said. “Quit being racist.”

“Vampires are not a race, dear,” Lee scolded. “Don’t trivialize real oppression with comparisons to fantastical scenarios.”

“Alright, fine, it’s not racist, but it’s definitely something-ist,” Harley said.

“On that we are agreed,” Lee said. “Vasili is not just an ally of ours, he is a friend. I would ask that you stop making unreasonable accusations.”

“Fine,” Derek huffed. “But this’ll come back to bite you.”

Harley slapped him on the shoulder.

“What? I barely said anything bad about him.”

“That was for the pun, actually,” Harley said.

“Oh. Yeah, okay, I see that.”

THE DAY AFTER THAT

Kim moved aside several hydrogen tanks to make room for herself at the table. Some of the leftovers from yesterday’s apocalypse had yet to be dealt with, apparently.

“Did someone forget to clean up their share of the hydrogen tanks?” Lee asked.

“I think it might have been me,” Vell said. “I was in a bit of a hurry-”

“It wasn’t you, Vell, I literally watched you do it,” Harley said. ‘You were making googoo eyes at Kim the whole time, but you did it.”

“Oh, right,” Vell said. He now remembered that there had been something in his hands while he’d been admiring Kim. It had been difficult to tell, as Kim was very distracting due to...something. Vell still couldn’t quite explain it.

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Any chance of an explanation came to an abrupt end when the lights went out. Hawke let out a startled shriek as the darkness suddenly descended, but thankfully the darkness was the only thing descending. Everyone pulled out their phones to light up the room, but they had no effect. While the rest floundered in shadow, Lee snapped her fingers and summoned a glowing orb of purple light that illuminated the room in shades of violet. Harley stood up and tried the light switch, to no effect.

“Huh, that’s probably not good,” she said. “Who shut off all the tech?”

“It’s not technology,” Kim said.

“How do you know?”

“I just...do,” Kim mumbled.

“She’s right, though,” Vell said. “Put your hand on your phone screen. It’s still generating heat, just not light. It’s on, but it’s not lit up.”

Hawke tested Vell’s method’s, and realized he was right. Harley stepped onto the tablet to test his theory with the lightbulb, and after realizing she was still too short to reach the light, made Vell test it himself.

“Yep. Heat, no light,” Vell said. “It’s still on, it’s just not making light.”

“So it’s working, it’s just not...hmm,” Hawke said. “I just had a thought.”

Without another word, Hawke exited the lair and walked down the hall. Even from back inside the lair, the other loopers could hear him sigh heavily before walking back into their hidden clubhouse.

“Yeah, the sun’s gone,” Hawke said. “If you want to go check that out, I’m going to lie under the table in the fetal position for a bit.”

Lee left behind a small blossom of magical light to keep him illuminated, which Hawke appreciated silently as he went fetal. Harley was first out the door, staring up at a black, empty sky.

“Ho ho, yep, sun’s gone,” she said. “That ain’t good.”

Though they could not see anything in the darkness, the familiar sounds of chaos were rapidly expanding across campus. Vell was pretty sure he could already hear the chanting of a sun cult forming.

“Okay, I know I’ve said this four time’s now-”

“Derek,” said everyone, in unison.

“Come on!” Derek snapped, gesturing up at the black sky. ‘The sun’s gone! That’s a vampire thing, right?”

“Is it a vampire thing to disable phones?” Harley asked, holding up her own black screen for emphasis.

“Maybe that’s just a side effect,” Derek suggested. “It’s more likely someone would turn off the sun and also disable phones than vice versa, right?”

The three veteran loopers looked to one another, then shook their heads in unison.

“It’s about the same, honestly,” Vell said.

“Damn. Really?”

“Yeah.”

“This place is fucked up,” Derek said.

“Indeed. But theories of any sort will get us nowhere,” Lee said. “We require evidence, and evidence requires investigation. Shall we?”

“We certainly fucking shall,” Harley said. “How’s splitting up that magic nightlight of yours work, Lee? Can we each take a bit and split up?”

“We could, but the light only lasts about half an hour, and it’ll be difficult for us to meet up with our phone interfaces invisible,” Lee said. “We should stick together.”

The first step in sticking together was to retrieve Hawke, who had finished going fetal and had moved on to the stress-eating phase of his all-consuming panic. His terror also inspired in Hawke a desire to stay close to light and to seek safety in numbers, so he gladly accompanied the other loopers. He tried very hard not to think about the fact that they were actively seeking out danger and, due to being highly anxious, failed.

“Now, I believe we should start in the optics lab, for obvious reasons,” Lee said. “Any ideas on where to go if that doesn’t pan out?”

“Vasili’s dorm room,” Derek mumbled under his breath. He spoke just quietly enough to pretend it was casual and just loudly enough that it was obvious he wanted people to hear him.

“Derek, we’ll investigate all leads, but please leave your bias at the door.”

“Or preferably offshore,” Harley said. “Just walk in any direction until you hit water and then start swimming.”

“I know vampires can’t cross running water, but I don’t think the ocean counts,” Derek said. Harley was close to clarifying that her words had been an insult, not advice, but Vell got the first word.

“That’s a myth, actually, vampires can cross running water,” Vell said.

“Oh, what’re you, a vampire expert?”

“I mean, I know things. There’s a lot of stereotypes and harmful misconceptions about vampires, you know.”

“Gentlemen, please, we’re already getting dangerously close to turning this whole vampire situation into a hamfisted racial allegory,” Lee said. “I don’t think any of us are quite tactful enough to pull it off.”

“Good point.”

Thankfully further misguided metaphors were derailed by a cry for help, and the sound of someone running in the darkness. Vell started heading in the direction of the cry before Lee even figured out where it was coming from, but she caught on soon enough.

“Hold on, weren’t we looking for a vampire?” Derek asked.

“We were looking for a source,” Lee scolded. “And people who need help are often near the source of the problem.”

If she had ever been near the source, the person shouting was rapidly fleeing from it. They ran towards the light and didn’t stop until they were safely within the borders of Lee’s illumination. While the purple light made it hard to make out details, some silhouettes were unmistakable, such as the massive metallic framework of the cybernetic arm strapped to Himiko’s relatively diminutive body.

“Oh hey bud,” Harley said. “I thought I recognized you screaming.”

The heavily-armed machinist took a deep breath before she started to speak.

“Harley, thank god,” Himiko gasped. “We need your help.”

“With what?”

“A vampire!”

Harley bit her tongue.

“I knew it,” Derek screamed triumphantly. “I fucking knew it! I called it, you didn’t believe me, but I was right, I was right all along!”

“Okay, yeah, you guessed vampires every single time and you were right statistically sooner than average,” Harley said. “Be cool about it, asshole.”

“Just admit I was right!”

“I already did,” Harley said.

“You were a bit sarcastic about it, dear.”

“Whatever! I was right, it was Vasili!”

“Wait, Vasili? The guy in the architecture classes you hang out with some time?”

Harley nodded in affirmation, and Himiko shook her head.

“It’s not that guy.”

Harley did not boast as loudly as Derek, but she boasted all the same. The expression of smug self-satisfaction on her face mocked Derek more severely than words ever could. Derek tried not to make eye contact, but the sheer smugness of her expression could be felt even when not looking. While the two ego’s clashed, Lee focused on actually getting work done.

“Did you get a good look at the vampire in question?”

“Yes, he looked like-”

A black shadow descended in the violet light. Himiko let out a deep sigh and then pointed over her shoulder with an oversized mechanical finger.

“-like that, probably.”

He did, in fact, look like that. With red eyes still glowing bright enough to shine crimson in the violet glow of Lee’s spell, the strange vampire bared his fangs hungrily at the veritable feast of blood in front of him. After a quick scan of the group, his red eyes focused in on Kim, and slitted pupils narrowed.

“You.”

“Oh, hello,” Kim said nervously. “If this is about our earlier meeting, I should apologize, I misunderstood-”

“Shut up! You-”

The first crack of gunfire interrupted him, and the second through twelfth brought a hard stop to any attempt at villainous taunting. Vell had opened fire the minute the creature even moved in Kim’s direction. The cursed bullets didn’t significantly harm the vampire, but even an immortal creature of the night didn’t like having twelve holes in it. The momentary stopping power of the bullets was enough for more effective help to arrive.

A second shadow cut through the violet light, striking the vampire in the side and knocking it into the darkness beyond. The sound of struggle emanated from the darkness, as the loopers struggled to track the source of the action they could not see.

“Can you pump up the juice on that thing, Lee?” Harley pleaded. “It sounds like someone’s getting their ass kicked, but I can’t tell who.”

Harley was close to correct. The next impact was the sound of something other than an ass getting kicked, followed by a low, pained groan.

“Dude, dick move,” the vampire gasped.

“Fuck you, you’re killing people,” the other shadowy figure taunted. “I’ll kick you in the nuts as much as I want.”

“Fine then.”

The same sound of impact rang out, followed by a very similar low, pained groan, and then the rapid footsteps of someone fleeing into the night -albeit with a strained, lopsided gait. Lee gave the signal, and the loopers moved out towards the sound of the groaning. They found, to the surprise of no one but Derek, Vasili, with his fangs bared and his knees on the ground, clutching at his groin.

“Hey Vasili,” Harley said. “Bit of vampire-on-vampire dick kicking, huh?”

“Yeah,” he gasped. “Give me a bit.”

They allowed him a moment to recover from his grievous injury, and Lee took the time to pontificate.

“See, Derek, he helped save us,” Lee said. “Vasili is one of the good guys.”

“I don’t know, he could still be part of this.”

“Why would I be a part of this?”

“So you can use the cover of darkness to feast on all our blood, you vampire,” Derek accused.

“I live here, you asshole,” Vasili groaned. “I could just go out any night I wanted. Why the fuck would I need to turn off the sun?”

“For...uh…”

“Just shut up, man, you’ve already put your foot in your mouth up to the knee,” Harley said.

Vasili stood, taking one final deep breath to settle himself.

“I have nothing to do with any of this,” Vasili said. “But I do sort of know what’s going on. That vampire who just ran off is Dragoslav. He’s one of the Twilight brood.”

“Ooh, what are they?” Harley asked. “Some kind of cursed sub-group of vampires?”

“What? No,” Vasili said. “They’re idiots who saw the Twilight movies back in 2008 and thought becoming a vampire would get them laid.”

“Oh. Well that’s disappointing.”

“But probably easier to deal with,” Vell said, looking on the bright side.

“Yeah, I don’t know Drago that well,” Vasili said. “We’ve just crossed paths a few times.”

“What, at secret vampire cabals?” Derek accused.

“I mean, sort of? It’s more of a social club than a ‘cabal’,” Vasili said. “Vampires hang out sometimes. It’s nice to have connections who are also immortal. Mortal friends start to seem kind of transient after you’ve been around long enough. No offense.”

“None taken.”

“Anyway, I don’t know what Drago’s deal is,” Vasili continued. “He mostly just lurks around acting sullen and broody. Still stuck in ‘08, I guess.”

“We might have some clue to his motivations,” Lee said. “Kim, dear, didn’t you mention encountering him?”

“Yes, earlier today,” Kim said. “He made an awkward sexual advance on me. I informed him that I already have a boyfriend I love very much, and he became irrationally angry. He told me that I was probably dating a ‘chad’, no matter how many times I told him your name is Vell.”

Himiko and Harley let out a simultaneous and long-lasting groan.

“Great,” Himiko said. “A vampire incel.”

“A vampire what?”

“The short version, Kim, is someone who can’t get laid and has decided to make that everyone else’s problem,” Harley said.

“Are you sure?” Vell said. “That seems like a big leap to make with very little evidence.”

“No no, it tracks,” Vasili said.

“Trust me, Vell, I’m an asian woman in a STEM field. I know what a maladjusted virgin looks like,” Himiko said. She then flexed the bulky prosthetic arm she wore. “Half the reason I got this big fucking arm is to scare off losers like him.”

“It must work, because it’s scaring off me too,” Derek said. Himiko chose not to comment on that, though it took a great deal of her willpower.

“While this is an interesting and possibly highly judgmental avenue of psychoanalysis, I’m failing to see a through line between his hypothetical sexual frustration and shutting off all light,” Lee said, drawing a line in the air as she spoke.

“Like I said, guys like this make their problems everyone elses,” Harley said. “Mostly by whining like babies on internet forums, but sometimes they lash out and turn off the sun and try to...do whatever his endgame is. Drink a lot of blood?”

“He did attack some people,” Himiko said. “I don’t know what he did to them. I kind of...ran away.”

“That is a perfectly natural response to a vampire attack, Himi, nothing to be embarrassed about,” Harley said. She gave her friend a comforting pat on her metal shoulder, which made a quiet clanging noise.

“Violence would be the simplest kind of outburst,” Vell said, putting a hand to his chin as he spoke. “But I feel like somebody with vampire powers and the capacity to turn off the sun would do something a little more elaborate.”

“What are you thinking?”

“Well, if he’s that lonely, and he’s a vampire, he’d probably-”

Vell paused for a moment. He heard shuffling footsteps. Then more. And further still, until the artificial night was filled with the sound of shambling movement. Moving shadows began to creep at the edges of Lee’s violet light.

“-create an army of thralls,” Vell sighed. “So he’d never be alone again.”