"You know, after all the bullshit you've gone through in the past few days, you're awfully calm, Hazel Wren," Corban says as he nonchalantly leans against the wall of the Pack House. Kairos flicks a blade of grass perfectly in the direction of his face, but Corban swats it away with a grin.
Oh, he has no idea.
Calm is the last word I'd describe myself. An anxious, hyperventilating mess? That's more like it.
I'm not sure if I want to scream or cry. Or confront my parents. Or yell at Maxton. Or apologize to Kairos for coercing him into marking me. Or beg him to keep me as his mate. Or maybe run away. Or perhaps weep or sob or collapse? Or, you know what? Maybe do a combination of all of that! But I'm not sure if I could even manage one of those things.
So I've just ended up silent instead.
The three of us have taken residence on the front lawn while the rest of the lycans handle the discussion with the Rolling Woods Pack inside. After ushering me out of the Conference Room, Kairos forced me to sit on some large stones to fuss over my wound. Amazingly enough, his poking and prodding made it feel better instead of aggravating it, taking away all my previous discomfort. Lycan healing really does work fast! I hardly even noticed the pain.
But that also might be because I was distracted by the fact that his hands were all over my waist, and he was so close I could smell him, and all I could think about was jumping his bones.
But I'd rather not admit that. So, let's just go with the lycan healing explanation.
"Aren't you supposed to be inside? You know, dealing with pack matters? Like a good little prince?" Kairos snickers. Corban rolls his eyes and promptly flicks a different blade of grass in his friend's direction. Kairos easily swats it away. My eyes trail over the movement of his arm, slightly lingering as his muscles flex from the sudden movement.
Holy shit FOCUS Hazel!
Well, I'm trying to focus. But after finishing his inspection, Kairos immediately took a seat next to me on the steps, and now, our legs are touching. So, yes, I can't focus.
Have I always been this much of a fucking horn dog?
I mean, I don't recall having thoughts like this for any other men. I've brushed against people before, you know, in passing or just sitting next to them. But no one has elicited this kind of reaction.
Which means I'm only a horn dog for this particular lycan.
So, not only am I an anxious, hyperventilating mess who's compartmentalizing all her emotions and has gone mute as a result, but I also can't stop thinking about how I would do anything for this man to accept me. Anything. Which makes me feel even more guilty for forcing him to mark me by almost dying.
I'm so screwed.
"Cora's way better than me at this stuff. I think I'd rather die than sit in a room with Maxton, the Piece of Shit, Briar, for one more minute," he retorts. This breaks me out of my silence.
"Maxton, the Piece of Shit, Briar? You gave him a title?" I ask with a raised brow.
"Ah, yes, yes I did," Corban responds. I just gape at him.
"Well? He is a Piece of Shit! What's so wrong with that?" He holds his hands up in mock surrender.
"Not a Piece of Shit. The Piece of Shit," Kairos mumbles, turning his head away from me. But his eyes still glance my way, as if to gauge my reaction.
Does he think I'd defend him?
"Nothing. Just mad I didn't think of it myself," I respond and force a small smile on my face to appease the lycan sitting next to me. He seems to relax at my words and returns my smile. Corban grins mischievously.
"See?" He says to Kairos. "Told ya' she'd agree with me. Because she's smart, just like me!"
"I'm so glad," Kairos answers sarcastically before turning to me. "Don't listen to anything he says. He's an idiot."
Corban stutters out a protest before chucking a handful of grass at him. Kairos dodges and fists more grass to throw back.
As much as I'd like to stare at Kairos some more, I unwillingly zone out as he starts arguing with Corban.
"You really should start paying Cora for all the work she does for you."
I'm sure he has some other Bond waiting for him. Maybe even an erasthai!
"Hey, hey, she's the princess! Taking over trial discussions is in her job description, too!"
But maybe I've stolen that from him. A mate he deserves.
"Okay. But I don't recall 'acting like a lazy piece of shit' in your job description."
Although I've only known him for a day, I can tell that he's kind. And extremely loyal. And reliable. And just so good.
"And I don't recall 'being a nosy piece of shit' in yours."
I don't deserve a mate like him.
"Hazel?"
I just had to go and put myself on the brink of death, didn't I?
"Hazel!" Kairos calls out again, shaking my shoulders to take me away from my thoughts. I blink a couple of times. "Are you alright?"
"Huh? I'm fine," I respond without thought, brushing some grass off my thighs. Kairos hands join mine to get the remaining pieces. "I can do it myself," I mumble. He frowns.
"How many times do we have to go over this, Hazel Wren?" Corban says before squatting in front of me. "We know you can do it by yourself, but we can help you."
"I'm fine," I mutter with a snap, aggressively swatting the remaining blades of grass away. I see Kairos frown at my actions from the corner of my eyes.
I'm being a bitch, aren't I?
"Sorry. I-I just need to take a walk," I hurriedly apologize while standing up.
"I'll go with yo-" Kairos starts, but I cut him off,
"No! I'm sorry. I just," I anxiously play with my braid, refusing to meet their concerned stares as guilt and embarrassment pour into my stomach. "I just need some time alone." He pauses.
"No need to apologize. Just meet us back here when you're ready, okay?" Kairos says with a kind smile.
He's so nice.
I don't deserve it.
I return his nod and turn on my feet. I feel his stare burning into my back. I trudge towards the woods and stumble onto one of the many walking trails.
Once I know I'm covered by the shroud of the treeline, deep in the woods where no one can see me or hear me, I release a heavy breath and collapse on my behind on the rough forest floor. I twist my legs into a criss-cross seating position and look up to the sky. The trees block most of the pale blue backdrop, but I catch glimpses in between the leaves.
I was prepared to never see this again.
I really was. But somehow, I'm here. Alive. And I have to get through today. And tomorrow. And then the day after that. My eyes trail over the intricate branches.
I release another heavy breath as I steel myself to decide what I should do next.
Should I talk to my parents?
I don't know.
Should I say something to Maxton?
I don't know.
Should I apologize to Kairos?
Probably. But I'm scared.
I let out another deep sigh and massage my temples. Think about the things you can control, Hazel!
Okay. What can I do tomorrow?
I can open the Archives, just like any other day.
That thought unties one knot in my chest. There's something for me to do, somewhere for me to be tomorrow, and it's comforting. It makes me feel stable, just for a little bit.
But where should I stay the night?
Should I go back to my parents' house?
I'd rather piss off Alpha Briar again. Pass.
Maybe the lycans?
No need to burden them any further.
I can ask Florentine?
Nevermind. I'll just stay at the Archives.
I bury my face in my hands.
I've got no family, no friends, and no place to go. Other than the freaking library.
My hands are wet.
Before I know it, traitorous tears are dripping out of my eyes. I hold in my whimpers as I curl into myself. There's a faint shake of my shoulders.
I've never felt so alone.
I try to control my breathing, but it's of no use. The tears don't stop.
A small poke in my mind halts my whimpers. I pause.
A comforting brush of fur and a purr.
Yara?
A purr in response affirms that she's there.
She's there. She's really back!
A wide smile takes residence on my lips, and I hastily brush my tears away. I immediately tell her how much I missed her and ask if she's alright. She responds with another purr.
Our wolves can't speak, not like our human side do. Instead, they communicate their thoughts directly into our brain, like an imprint of their words. I know how she feels and what she's saying without her actually saying it.
I feel her yip happily as if to say she's glad to be with me again, too.
Another knot unties in my chest. A huge one. One that I didn't even realize I was carrying around for weeks until now.
I inhale another deep breath of fresh air. I glance up at the sky once more. The blue sky winks at me behind the leaves.
I'm glad I got to see it again.
With that thought, I trudge back to the Pack House. After a while, the trees disperse, and the lycans come into view. All of them. Along with Florentine, Maxton, and Beta Matthias. Immediately, I notice Kairos is tense. He's glaring at Maxton and seems to be in a heated argument with Beta Matthias. Beta Matthias looks hesitant like he doesn't want to say or do whatever he's saying to Kairos. Corban is shaking his head and seems to be backing up whatever Kairos is saying.
Florentine spots me first. She comes over to me and holds my arm in her hand. The rest of the group turns towards me as well.
"I'm sorry, Hazel. There's nothing else we can do," she starts. I furrow my eyebrows. What's she sorry about?
"Hazel," Beta Matthias addresses me. "I'm sorry for what you've been through. As Pack Leadership, we take full responsibility and are submitting ourselves to a thorough investigation from the Royal Ambassador and Encorcer Allistar. However..." I nod at his words as he pauses. He throws an uneasy glance at Maxton. "However, Law dictates that Leadership may decide that you continue to reside in our pack before the investigation concludes, if it chooses..."
No.
"And Maxton..."
How could I forget this part of the law?
"As the Alpha's son, I have decided that you must stay in the Rolling Woods Pack. You'll continue to work at the Archives and reside in your parents' home for the time being." Maxton answers for him, puffing his chest out.
"Absolutely not!" I immediately yell. "I will not stay in that house! You can't force me!"
"It's the law. I decide." Maxton states stonily.
"Sure, it's the fucking law, you twat, but you can choose to let her reside where she wants. But you're not letting her. You're forcing her into this!" Cora fires back in exasperation.
"Do NOT use such lowly words to address me! I'm the Alpha!" Maxton demands while getting in Cora's face. She glares at him without moving an inch. He falters at her icy gaze.
"You're not the fucking Alpha. Don't forget, you're being investigated! You're a fucking suspect. And not to mention, a Piece of Shit too!" Corban hisses back, throwing a protective arm in front of his sister.
"The Piece of Shit," Allistar mutters under his breath. Maxton throws a glare his way but seems to think better of it when his eyes meet Allistar's violet ones. Sabrina barely contains her snicker.
"Why are you doing this?" I demand. "I'll reside where I want. I will not go back to that house!"
"You're my mate! If this is the only way to keep you in my pack, so be it!"
Hot anger flares up in me at his words. All my muscles tense, and I take a step forward. Kairos does the same.
"I'm not your mate!"
"She's not your mate!"
We both pause to stare at each other. Kairos gives me a nod to continue, finding his place at my side. I continue on.
"I'm not your fucking mate! And I'm not staying at that house! If you cared even a little bit, you would realize that going back there is like torture. You're selfish. And a fucking coward. You are no Alpha!" I say sharply before turning to Beta Matthias. "Isn't there anything you can do about this?!"
He gives a distressed shake of his head.
"Until Pack Leadership confers with the Elders, Maxton is technically the person to make this decision. But we're working on those meetings right now. This agreement should be short term."
"Beta Matthias! You will-" Maxton starts, but Beta Matthias cuts him off.
"I will WHAT, Maxton? I will WHAT?"
Maxton's mouth stays shut as his face contorts into shock at Beta Matthias' angry tone. I've never seen Beta Matthias yell. Never.
He's our reliable, stoic Beta. Who always cleans up the Alpha's messes without complaint. Who takes care of any request, no matter how small. Who seemed limitless in what he gave the pack.
But maybe the limitless have limits too.
"I refuse to do ANYTHING you say. I warned you and your father over and over again about your behavior! So did Arthur! But you never listened! And look where it's landed this pack? The Elders will decide who the next Alpha will be. And I don't care if it's me. But I sure as hell care if it's you. I'll do anything to make sure you don't become Alpha. Anything. Hazel's stay at her parent's residence will be short-term. I'll make sure of it. She's gone through enough at your hands!"
Maxton huffs and turns on his heels, stomping away from us like a small child. I watch his retreating back.
I can't believe there was a moment in time when I begged him to be my mate.
"There's nothing we can do?" I whisper, staring at the ground as anxiety starts to gnaw at my stomach again.
"I'm sorry, Hazel. It's the law. But we'll make sure to figure out the changes in Leadership and release you of this obligation soon," Beta Matthias says dejectedly. He and Florentine give me pats on my shoulder before walking away as well, leaving me with the lycans.
"I don't want to go," My voice cracks, as if the weight of the anxiety is physically destroying my voice from the outside in. Kairos gently pulls me to his chest, allowing me to lean my forehead on him. I feel his body heave with a deep breath. I unknowingly fist his shirt in an effort to not cry.
"We'll make it short, Hazel. We'll do everything in my power to reverse this as fast as we can," May reassures me.
"We'll lay ground rules too. You're only residing there. That doesn't mean they can interact with you," Allistar adds. I nod into Kairos chest, closing my eyes.
I don't want to go. I don't want to go. I don't want to go.
I want to stay here.
In the back of my mind, I realize here, is Kairos' arms.
Word Count: 2616 Words
NOOO HAZELLL MY SHAYLAAAAA
i meant to get this chapter out 2 days ago but guess what?? i got the freaking stomach flu. so I became a puking machine for 36 hours. worst 36 hours of my life. i was so sick I couldn't move from bed (unless it was to violently puke my guts out) but I also couldn't look at a screen. or read. or do anything for that matter. other than stare at the ceiling and think about how much my tummy hurt. however I AM CURED AND BACK WITH A NEW CHAPTER!!!
corban makes me giggle sm I cant help it he's my favorite little prince
this is extremely not related to this book or writing whatsoever, but do any of my dear readers dabble in chia seed pudding???? if you do, what are your seed to milk ratios. please. i cant get it right.
anyways. that's all I got. i hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! i tried my best with the writing and editing but I'm still recovering from being so sick! i hope to get the next chapter out by the end of this week. i wonder what will happen when hazel goes back to her parents house??????????????????????????? stay tuned!!!
remember to comment and vote!!!! thank you for reading!!
i hope you have a wonderful day jaanis <3! remember to wash your hands and keep warm and don't get the stomach flu (like me) (speaking from experience, it sucks) (really) (stay healthy) (drop your chia seed pudding recipes please)
love, libahrary