"Here," Kairos hands me a warm package wrapped in parchment paper. I open it to reveal a freshly made panini. My stomach growls. He takes a seat next to me and opens his own. "I realized you hadn't eaten since yesterday, so I made this."
Sabrina and Cora, who are sitting across from me, exchange smirks. Cora starts fanning herself and Sabrina feigns fainting. My face heats up as his side presses to mine. Pleasurable tingles run up and down my body.
"Thank you," I barely say without stuttering. The panini smells heavenly. I didn't even notice how hungry I was until he just pointed it out. The first bite immediately calms my nerves and unties another knot in my stomach.
"What?!" Cora scoffs with an incredulous look on her face. "No sandwiches for us?!"
"No sandwiches for you," Kairos simply states. She pretends to be outraged.
"I'm the princess, you know. It's your job to feed me!"
"I wish it was your job to give me some peace and quiet, but we can't always get what we want, can we?" Kairos deadpans. Sabrina gasps.
"My mate's an Enforcer, you know? He'll have your head for this!" She threatens jokingly. Kairos rolls his eyes. A small giggle escapes my mouth. His silver eyes glance at me. The stony expression falls from his face and is replaced with a soft smile. My face heats up even more.
"Hazel!" Sabrina whines, falling to her knees in front of me, pulling on my arm. "Tell him to make us a sandwich!" Cora follows suit, opting to roll around on the ground.
"Pleaseeeeee, Hazel!"
"I'm not making you shit," Kairos snaps. I giggle again and offer the sandwich to the girls, who are still rolling around on the floor, moaning about how hungry they are. "Don't give that to them!" He exclaims, pulling my arm back. Cora swipes it in a flash and takes a bite before passing it to Sabrina.
"You're the best," Cora thanks me with a mouthful of food. Kairos just rolls his eyes and bumps his shoulder to mine. It's hot in here. Is anyone else hot in here?
After the fiasco at the Pack House, we returned back to the Lycan's house. Or should I say, mansion, because this shit is huge. Currently, we're in the living room seating area. It's a sunken space with comfortable, plush couches for seating on three sides. The boys and May disappeared into what seemed like an office room while the girls led me here.
Kairos held my hand all the way home.
I take another bite from the panini in an effort to distract me from my obsessive thoughts about this man. The panini is fantastic. The best panini I've ever had!
Made by the most beautiful man I've ever seen.
I groan and smack a hand to my face.
I'm hopeless.
Kairos bumps my shoulder again. "What are you thinking about?"
You.
"The fear of long words is called hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia."
He raises his eyebrow. I facepalm again.
I'm extremely, super, 100% hopeless.
"You read that somewhere?"
I nod dumbly. He smiles. My heart skips a beat, and I forget how to breathe.
"Say that five times fast!" Sabrina exclaims like a small child, stunning me out of my stupor.
"Hip-poo-poo-monster-rinaâ" Cora tries but flops to the floor in defeat. "How do you do that, Hazel?"
"Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia," I say again, perfectly enunciating every syllable. Cora groans from her seat on the ground.
"You're too smart!" She huffs.
"Why are you both acting like you're on crack today?" Kairos questions them. They do seem hyper.
"Becauseee," Sabrina says with a grin, "We have a new sister, duh!" She points at me. This prompts Cora to sit up with a grin as well. My face heats up for the hundredth time.
A new sister?
"Hmmm," Kairos hums as he seems to think it over. "Sure."
Sabrina squeals, taking my arms to pull me off the couch. I stumble forward at the force, but Kairos swivels an arm around my waist and pulls me back against his chest.
"No." He practically growls at them.
"Stop being a caveman!" Sabrina whines.
"No." His arm tightens around my waist. My entire body is on fire.
I'm on his lap! This is a code red! My back is to his chest! I can feel every muscle! I repeat, I can feel every muscle! And there are a lot!!
Oh Goddess, I'm definitely hopeless.
"It's our turn to hang out with Hazel!"
"No. Go away."
"But-"
"She's mine! Go away."
The two girls let out identical huffs.
"If you get bored of him, just give us a call," Cora snickers before leaving the room with Sabrina.
Leaving us alone. Alone. With me on his lap. I squirm and try to move off. His arm tightens again, and he leans his chin on my shoulder.
"Where do you think you're going?"
His voice is low, barely a whisper. His lips are directly next to my ear. I barely contain the shiver that runs down my spine. My hand grips the poor panini impossibly tight.
"Um, I can, um, s-sit-"
I'm short-circuiting. My brain is short-circuiting. I'm done. My brain is fried. From how hot this man's voice is. Absolutely fried. I don't think I'll ever be able to make another coherent thought ever again. There goes my career as an Archivist.
Another low hum from him shuts me up.
"I think you're right where you're supposed to be," he nuzzles his nose into the area between my neck and shoulder, opposite from my mark. "Relax," he breathes out.
I let out a breath and force my muscles to untense. My back leans into his chest more, and I loosen my grip on the panini. I feel him smile against my skin.
My whole being is buzzing in the most pleasurable way. My muscles are lose, and I feel so comfortable. I slightly rest the side of my head on his, which is still on my shoulder. Yara is purring in my head. Goddess, I feel like I could purr.
I know I should probably say something. Apologize. Give him a way out of this relationship.
And I will.
But I just want to enjoy this. Just for a little.
He holds me in silence for a couple minutes, and I absolutely revel in it. He's so warm.
"What happened in there?" he finally asks.
I tense up, just a little bit. He takes my panini and places both sandwiches on the side table next to us. He grabs my hips and turns my body so we're chest to chest, and my legs are straddling his. Despite sitting on top of him, he still dwarfs me. I can't find it in myself to meet his eyes, so I busy myself by playing with my fingers, which are resting on his chest. His palm touches my cheek, and he gently tips my head up.
I peek at his eyes. They're more silver than I thought. And seem to harbor a glow similar to Allistar's. When I look at him, he gives me a soft smile, and my eyes dart away. His thumb brushes over my lips. "To be fully honest, we have sensitive hearing, so I heard everything outside when they were trying to stop us from entering. But I still want to know your side."
"It was fine," I answer quickly. I anxiously tug at my fingers. His other hand comes down to pull them apart.
"Look at me," his thumb brushes my cheek. I meet his eyes again. He's already looking at me. "I know it wasn't fine. Tell me about it."
I take in a deep breath and force my hands to relax in his large one.
And I tell him about it.
He listens quietly without interrupting. He nods along, humming here and there to show me he's listening, and he doesn't take his eyes away from me. His hand drops from my face to rest on the junction between my hip and thigh, where I straddle him.
It's weird. To have someone listen to me. Everything I have to say. To have someone look at me. See me.
"I think I was experiencing rogue symptoms in there," I admit.
"Rogue symptoms?"
"I didn't feel anything. It felt like I was," I pause to think about it, "like I wasn't there. Like I was losing myself. Like before. I didn't feel my stitches opening either. But after you came in with everyone else, I was fine." He squeezes my thigh.
"Maybe your wolf unconsciously felt alone again, especially since you were around all the people who triggered your turn. Our bond is new. Probably fragile, too, since it was so sudden. So it makes sense that you didn't feel it as you should've," He sighs. "I shouldn't have left you alone."
His brow furrows, and he looks so guilty. And sad.
My chest tightens, and my hands get clammy. I decide I hate it. I never want him to have that look on his face. Not for me.
"It's not your fault," I hesitantly bring my hand to his jaw. His eyes seem to glow a little brighter at my touch. "I needed to do that. To say something to them. For myself."
He gives me a lopsided smile and leans to nuzzle my neck. I immediately relax and thread my fingers through his hair. It's so silky.
"My strong little mate," he mumbles against my neck. My whole body heats up again.
I'm going to explode! This is a code red! I'm so full of rainbows and butterflies and candy and sweets and cakes, this is a code red and I'm going to explode!!!
He switches sides to nuzzle the area where my mark resides. His lips brush directly on the mark, and a shiver of delight runs down my spine. His grip on my waist tightens, and he does it again, firmer this time.
Focus, Hazel! FOCUS!
"Wait, Kairos," I force myself to scramble out of his lap. He lets out a low pitched whine. I try not to let my heart hurt too much at the sound of it. He makes a move to grab my waist again, but I quickly shift out of his reach. He frowns.
"Wait, I just need," I pause. Am I really going to do this?
I have to.
"I need to talk to you."
He nods silently, opting to turn his body in my direction instead.
"I just wanted to say thank you," I start, tugging at my fingers again.
"For?" He questions.
"For saving my life by marking me. You didn't have to, but you did, and I'm really grateful. I am! But," I pause again. His frown deepens
"But?"
These words are so much harder to say out loud.
"But I understand if this isn't what you want."
"Isn't what I want?"
"If you want to take back the mark, I get it. I'm sure you have some other bond or erasthai. I don't mind. Thank you for everything you've done, but you no longer need to feel obligated to stay with me. Neither do the other lycans."
"Take back my mark," He repeats slowly.
I nod. He hums, his eyes trailing over me. Then he lets out a sigh.
"You think I marked you out of obligation?"
"Well, I was dying! And you felt bad so," I trail off, my eyes glued to the side table next to him. "I'm just saying, I understand! I really do, if you don't want to be with a wolf-shifter. It's totally understandable, and I really don't mind if you want to take it back. No hard feelings. Really. You've helped me enough," I ramble on as he looks at me.
He doesn't respond, so I continue to word vomit. "I'm sorry it took me so long to bring this up. I was being selfish. I don't know. I wasn't thinking. But yeah, I'm sorry."
There's a long moment of silence.
"What do you want?" He finally asks.
"What?"
"What do you want? Do you want to be my mate? Or do you want me to take back the Bond?"
Now, it's my turn to be silent. How do I tell him that I would do anything? Anything. To stay his mate. How I want him more than anything?
"Hazel? Tell me the truth. Please."
"I-"
Should I lie? I finally peek at him, and he's looking at me with the most earnest expression. He asked me not to lie. I owe him this much.
"I want to be your mate," I respond quietly. "But not because I got rejected! But because I actually like you and am interested in you as a person!" I quickly add. He smiles.
"Then I'm not taking back the bond."
"But you shouldn't keep it just because I want it if you-"
"I want the bond," He cuts me off. "I wanted to mark you the first time I saw you in the nature conservatory. I want this bond, and I want to be your mate. And you want it, too. So then we should stay mates, shouldn't we?"
"We should?" I respond slowly.
"We should," he affirms. "It's simple."
"Simple?" I echo.
"Simple." He repeats with a smile. "So you accept me? As a mate?"
"Of-of course!"
Is it really that simple?
"Then what are you sitting all the way over there for?"
He leans over to sweep me into his arms again, pulling me to his chest. We return to the same position as before, with me straddling his waist, but we're closer this time and eye to eye.
"Mate," He says, his silver eyes staring at me while one hand plays with a strand of my hair that came out of my braid.
"Mate," I whisper hesitantly, and he grins.
It really is that simple.
"Do you know what erasthais are?" He asks in a soft voice. I nod. "You're mine."
Is this real? Am I dreaming? Someone pinch me. Right. Now.
"I choose this. I choose you as my mate.
My heart wells at his words. Screw that, my entire being wells, and I feel like I'm going to burst of happiness. I grin, and a quiet laugh escapes my lips. His eyes widen a tiny bit before he bursts out a smile and laughs a little, too.
And then we're both laughing. And he's nuzzling my cheek. And my hands are wrapped around his neck. And he's smiling. And I'm giggling as his stubble tickles me.
And we're both so happy because it's that simple.
I'm happy.
"I choose you too," I finally say. He rests his forehead on mine, and my eyes flutter shut.
"Sorry to interrupt this mate-lovey-dovey shit, but we gotta head out."
I yelp and stumble back with all the grace of a baboon. Thankfully, Kairos catches me before I can tumble off his lap. He glares at his red-haired friend, who's smirking at the entrance of the living space.
"You're not sorry at all," he says dryly. Corban lets out a chuckle and holds his hands out in mock surrender.
"You caught me."
"We're coming," Kairos answers for the both of us before Corban walks away. "Jealous little shit," he cusses under his breath. I giggle again. Kairos looks at me with those same wide eyes. I finally climb off his lap and straighten out my shirt. He gets up behind me with a huff before grabbing my waist to turn me to face him. He gazes down at me, brushing his hand against my cheek.
"Hi," I mumble shyly, rocking back on my feet. I peer up at him.
"Hi baby."
There's no way it's normal for my heart to beat this fast. It can't be normal? Can it?
"Where are we going?" I ask after only mildly recovering from almost dying from heart failure. He sighs.
"I think we have to go to your parents' house," he answers. My heart beats faster again, but not in a I wanna throw up rainbows and butterflies because my mate is the most perfect man I have ever seen type of way but more in a holy shit, I'd rather get hit by a bus than go over there type of way.
"What? Now? It's so early!" I protest.
"It's the evening time. They're probably forcing you back before dinner time." He says in a frustrated tone, running a hand through his hair. I'm so stressed I hardly notice his bicep flexing at the movement.
The stress has snapped me out of my horny thoughts!
That means I'm really stressed.
I still noticed it a tiny little bit, though.
"Are you sure I have to go back? There's no other way?"
"I'm sorry. If even Allistar can't find another way, then there really isn't another way. We just have to make do," I frown at his reply as the anxiety starts gnawing at my gut again.
"Hey," he says softly, tilting my chin to look at him. "Everyone is trying to rescind this command from Maxton. It's only a short period of time." I nod weakly, his words doing little to calm the burning on my insides. The fact that I even have to go is what's stressing me out. It doesn't matter if it's just a short period of time. I know my parents will try to talk to me, or Blessing will do something.
Sure, I can't go rogue anymore.
But that doesn't mean I want to deal with it.
"Yeah," I mumble again, looking away.
"Talk to me," he pulls me closer with a comforting brush on my cheek. Unwanted tears well in my eyes, but I shove them down.
"I'm tired," I admit. "I'm tired of all this. I don't want to feel sad, or stressed, or angry anymore. I want it to be done."
I bury my face in his strong chest in an effort to block my tears. He hugs me. I wrap my arms around him.
"I'm just tired," my voice is muffled, but I know he hears when it cracks because he pulls me tighter.
"I'm sorry, baby. I wish you didn't have to go there," Guilt is dripping from his words. "I know there isn't anything I can say right now that will change how you're feeling, but I'm going to do everything I can to make it easy for you, to protect you over there, to be with you through this. Okay? Everything."
I give him a weak smile and nod.
"Thank you."
I mean it. I really mean it.
He saved my life. He marked me. He chose me.
I've never experienced this lack of impartiality before. I've spent my whole life feeling like an afterthought, a choice made out of convenience rather than desire. But with Kairos? There's no hesitation, no weighing of optionsâjust certainty. For the first time, I'm not standing in someone else's shadow. I feel seen, chosen, and placed first without question.
He's the only one who's ever looked at me this way.
Peace. I just feel pure peace. All my worries are long forgotten when I'm in his arms. I don't think I've ever felt this way in my entire life.
It's beautiful. More beautiful than the sun peaking out from the clouds after a rainy day. Or shifting into your wolf for the first run of the spring. And even better than opening a new book.
Kairos is my new book.
And I want to read all of him. I want to devour every word and then go back for more. I want to annotate every chapter and read between the lines. I want to bunny-ear every page corner to mark my favorite part, but go back to realize I've folded every page because every part is my favorite part. And I want to read him over and over again. And I never want to let him go.
Word Count: 3335
CHAPTER 20 WE MADE ITTTT
I'm thinking we're about halffff way through this book ???? isn't that crazy?
ALSO WERE ALMOST AT 5K READS?? WHAT THE HECK? HELLO NEW READERS!!! HELLO!!! HELLLLLLOO!!!!!!! I HOPE YOURE HAVING A WONDERFUL TIME!!!
I'm gonna stick one update a week since two updates a week just isn't feasible for me anymore :( but going to continue writing 2000+ word chapters hopefully!
i hope yall are enjoying! please comment and vote :)) up next, we got the confrontation with the parents DUN DUNNN DUNNNNNNNNNNNN
I hope you have a wonderful day jaanis!!!!!
love, libahrary