I jump as someone slams a large book down precisely into the spot where I'm very busily staring into space.
"What are you doing?" Florentine snaps at me.
Florentine is the 70-year-old she-wolf who visits the Archives daily and is probably one of the only wolves whose Archive knowledge could rival mine. She has a habit of speaking in snaps and jabs but secretly, very secretly, and I mean, extremely secretly, she's a softie. At least, that's what I like to think.
Florentine is also the closest thing I have to a friend.
"I was just taking inventory of the new archives coming in this month!" I reply cheerily as I gesture at the inventory file and pen in front of me.
That's what I was supposed to be doing. But doing anything other than spiraling into sadness and anxiety has been difficult for the past week.
I'm a star Archivist, I know.
"You've been staring at the bookshelf for the past 5 minutes."
"No, I wasn't!"
"Yes, you were! I was watching you!"
I have nothing to say to that because knowing Florentine, she was definitely watching me. She's got the eyes of a hawk, I'm telling you. This woman knows everything about everyone. Surprisingly, though, her expression softens, and she leans in just a bit.
"Hazel, I've been hearing some disturbing things about you and the Alpha," she starts, and I try my best to still my face and keep the tears already starting to build at the mention of him at bay.
"Hearing what?"
"I heard..." she trails off and pauses, studying my face, "Did he reject you?"
I attempt to stop the grimace that takes over my features at the question, but she sees it anyway. I turn my face away, hoping I can stop her from catching my watery eyes.
"Yes, he did." I hear a sharp intake of breath.
"Well, that boy is a bigger idiot than I thought him to be," Florentine snaps in a way only Florentine can. My jaw drops as I swivel my head to look back at her.
"Florentine!" I hiss, "you can't talk about the Alpha that way!"
"I'll do whatever I damn please! I'm one of the elders, I'll say whatever I want about that boy."
Florentine is one of the Pack Elders, the council of wolves who advise Pack Leadership, but it's still taboo to talk about the Alpha in such a manner. "I thought he was an idiot when he broke the damn chair, but now I know he's an idiot."
"Maybe he was right to do it, though," I admit looking down at my lap. "I'm not sure I'm fit to be Luna. Maybe I won't make a good mate."
"Just because your mate's an idiot doesn't mean you have to be one too."
I grimace and she sighs.
"I've known you since you were a baby and I've seen you grow up all these past years in the Archives. You would be a fantastic mate and an even more fantastic Luna. The Moon Goddess only chooses those who are worthy to be mates to pack leaders. The only one who isn't worthy, who isn't fit to be an alpha or a good mate, is that boy, not you."
The tears I was trying to keep at bay escape my eyes and I sniffle a little. Florentine places a comforting hand on my head and pats down my hair. "These things don't happen without reason, Hazel. It'll be alright in the end."
I nod. Ever since I was rejected, it's felt like a hole has seared its way through my body and there's nothing I can do to fix it. But with these words, I feel the edges of that hole constrict and fill up, just a little. I didn't realize how much I needed to hear those words until she says them.
"Thank you, Florentine," I whisper. "Thank you." I grab her hand on my head and squeeze it. She rearranges her fingers so that they're linked with mine and squeezes back. We stay like that for a little while until my sniffles subside, and I can breathe normally again.
Florentine doesn't leave, though. She sits across from me at the table and begins reading the thick book she so graciously slammed in front of me before our conversation. The title reads The World's Greatest Pie Recipes. I finally pick up the pen and begin working on the Archives inventory. And for the first time in the past week, I smile.
_________________________
After completing the inventory with Florentine, I make my way to the front desk to file it away. Being at the Archives has been the only thing keeping me afloat lately. I find comfort in the daily tasks, in the things that I know will always be there for me to do. I know I might not be a lot of things, but I'm a damn good Archivist.
Besides, being anywhere else feels excruciating. Being at home is terrible. When I'm alone in my room, all I want to do is cry. When I'm around Blessing and her snide remarks, all I want to do is cry. When I'm around my parents, who think I'm perfectly fine now, all I want to do is cry.
Essentially, outside of the Archives, all I want to do is cry.
I'm proud of myself, though, I haven't actually been crying. That much. Besides my little hiccup with Florentine. But what's a girl gonna do when she's finally shown kindness for the first time after the worst thing that could ever possibly happen to her actually happens?
She's got to cry, of course.
I'm torn from my thoughts when I hear the front doors open. Blessing and a couple of she-wolves, her friends, I presume, walk through. They snicker when they spot me and my stomach drops.
For a bunch of people who look down on me for being an Archivist, they sure like being at the Archives. Of course, it doesn't matter that this is the only area where young wolves can come to study and hang out in the entire pack without the expectation of paying. And, of course, it doesn't matter that I'm the one who put in all the work to make that happen. But, of course, go ahead and make fun of me.
I pause at my line of thought. Have I always been this bitter?
I've seen Maxton only a handful of times since he rejected me. Just glimpses in the Study Section here and there. He never looks or acknowledges my presence. He seems fine and happy. He's always laughing and chatting with Blessing and their friends. I simply don't know how he does it. My wolf, on the other hand, is still silent. I can feel her, here and there. But she won't talk and won't shift. It's scaring me more than I'd like to admit. But nothing I've said or done to coax her back has worked.
Life goes on, I guess.
Maybe Florentine is right. I don't need the idiot who broke a chair in an arm wrestling competition.
I try to console myself, but it doesn't stop my heart from hurting any less. The doors open again, and this time, I'm surprised to see who steps through.
Arthur, the next pack Beta, and Maxton's best friend. He pauses just beyond the doors and sniffs the air. Weird. Does it smell bad? I'm very particular about the air fresheners I use in the Archives. You know what they say, a stanky library is a cranky library!
Absolutely no one has ever said that, by the way, except me.
I discreetly try to sniff the air but don't smell anything. The next thing I know, we lock eyes and he's walking towards me.
Arthur Mathian walks like he's a man on a mission. And he usually is! Despite being the budding second-in-command, Arthur has always been more mature than Maxton. For example, when they broke the chair, he was the only one who offered to help clean up.
We were never friends, but he was at the Archives a lot while growing up. From what I've heard from Florentine, he's studious and diligent, two traits Maxton seems to lack. Today, it seems, the mission is speaking to me.
"Hazel," he addresses me when he stops at the front desk.
"Arthur," I reply and give him a fake smile. "Glad to see you're back. How was training?"
"It was goodâtough, but really good. I stayed back an extra two weeks to learn a bit more from the Lycans, too, and it was great," he smiles back.
"That's good." We're silent now. I teeter back and forth between my two feet, something I do when I feel awkward. I'm not sure what to say next because I haven't got a clue as to why he's talking to me.
Arthur, like other wolves, is tall, at 6'3. But instead of being broad like Maxton, he's a bit more lanky but not skinny. He has a mop of black curly hair, no doubt a homage to his African descent, and dark brown eyes that sit behind his circular glasses. He's like the epitome of the boy next door. He raises a hand to awkwardly scratch the back of his neck.
"Hazel, listen," he starts, almost nervously. But then, he seems to commit to whatever he wants to say and clears his throat, "Hazel, I'm sorry."
Honestly, I'm flabbergasted. And it shows in my face. Arthur is nice. Sure, he's polite. I know he is. But why the heck is he apologizing to me?
"Um, what?" is all I can manage to say before he starts again.
"Maxton, he-" he squeezes his eyes and runs his hand through his hair again. "He shouldn't have rejected you. It's wrong. It's so wrong." He drops his hand and looks at me again. "He's been researching this shit for a while. He met some girl and when he realized they weren't mates he decided to try to figure out a way for it to work."
Oh. That explains him reading The Wolf Mate Bond when I met him. I almost scoff. I thought he was looking for me. Turns out, he was just looking for a way to get rid of me instead.
Arthur continues, "I tried to talk to him out of it. I swear I did. He's the Alpha, you know? He's got responsibilities and going against the Moon Goddess is a sure way to not fulfill them. I just," he runs his hands through his hair again. "I'm sorry, Hazel. You deserve better. You really do."
"It's okay, Arthur," I'm genuinely taken aback by the sincerity in his tone. "It's not your fault. He made his choice. Maybe this is for the better, you know?"
"It's not. You're meant to be Luna, I know we're not close but you'd make a good Luna, you know? You're really smart and you're really kind. You work hard. Well-trained Archivists are hard to come by these days. You do a lot for this pack and I'm afraid we don't appreciate you enough."
"Oh," I'm left speechless again. "Thank you." It's all I can say.
"Listen, I know what they've been saying about you and how some of our pack mates have treated you in the past," he starts again. So this is where he's going.
"It's okay, Arthur," I try to reassure him again, "I'm used to it."
"But you shouldn't be! Shunning is wrong. It's punishable by law. We learned a lot about how harmful it can be in training and I don't want any of that in my pack. I'm going to try to fix it, Hazel."
I give him another smile. Arthur is a good guy. A great leader.
"You'll make a good Beta," I voice my thoughts. His cheeks tinge pink and he smiles a full on grin now.
"Thank you," then he gestures at me, "See, you're too nice! You don't get enough credit."
"It's all good," I chuckle, "I mean it."
"You'll let me know if you have any problems, right?"
"Yeah, I'll let you know."
He gives me another smile and a nod and stalks off, definitely onto his next mission, wherever it is, outside of the Archives.
Shunning.
Punishable by law. Laws made by the lycans, of course.
Wolves are inherently pack creatures. We need each other to survive. So when a wolf gets shunned by his or her pack, it can be detrimental to their health: physical and mental. It can cause a wolf to go insane, to go rogue, abandoning their pack bonds to live life alone without any rules or consequences. Rogues become dangerous. They're driven by survival instincts and revenge only, usually going after the pack that shunned them. Rogues are filled with bitterness and anger, straight to their core. Shunning is rare, but it happens.
I shiver as an image of a haggard wolf-shifter with yellow-rimmed eyes promising madness and destruction flashes into my mindâa vivid picture of a rogue I recall from a book I read not too long ago.
I'm not sure if the way I'm treated classifies as shunning. People still talk to me. As an Archivist, they have to. And it's not like they're always rude. I'm treated well by older pack members, especially the council and leadership for the work that I do. It's just a bit of my age group and anyone who associates with Blessing, who participates in a bit of shunning. I have wolves who care about me. My parents, of course. They care. Florentine cares. Maybe even Arthur. That's enough to keep my wolf's pack bonds thriving. But still, it's sweet for Arthur to care about his packmates, to want something better for the pack. I appreciate him for it. He really will make a good beta.
I can't help but think back to our conversation though. He said something about Maxton wanting to break the bond for another she-wolf. I should be aware of it now, I should be used to it, but it still hurts. He didn't even know, but he picked someone else before even meeting me. I was never even in the running.
Word Count: 2388
Wattpad formatting make me want to rip my hair out yall. Why can't I indent???????? Why does it look different when I copy and paste it over from google docs???? Why doesn't the spacing match up when I'm on mobile??? wattpad why are you like this??????
I write everything on Google Docs and then copy and paste it over on the website on my laptop and then I fix the weird spacing and formatting. THEN i go on the app on my phone and fix the spacing there because it looks different on mobile.
PLEASE let me know if the formatting is okay. I try my best to fix the spacing but if it looks weird PLEASEEEE let me know by dropping a comment. I also just updated the cover! nothing major has changed, just some cosmetic changes since i realized the text was hard to read!
ANYWAYSSSS i love florentine ... my 70 year old bestie!!! she's so sweet :,)
did you like the playlist for this chapter? let me know your thoughts! please comment and vote :)
i hope you have a wonderful day <3
love, libahrary