Dear Journal,
It's one thing to have people by your side, but it's another thing entirely to have people who can stand by you through anything. No matter what. No matter what you say to them and no matter how hard you push them away from you, they come back and tell you they don't care what you say. I thought I had Bella. I thought she would always be there for me no matter what, but obviously she let me go just like everyone else. I've lost everything! Him too.
"Viola's not in school today and neither is Beau." Bella sat across from Cody and his girlfriend at their table in the cafeteria, and he only acknowledged her for a minute, before looking back to Kyra and completing his sentence. "Cody, did you hear what I just said?"
He stopped talking mid-sentence, looking peeved at the interruption.
"Maybe... I should just give you two a few minutes," Kyra said, gathering her things and looking ready to leave.
She stood and Cody looked up at her, holding her hand. "It's fine. You can stay."
"I'll see you later, okay?" She gave him a small smile, and he let go of her hand.
He watched her walk to another table, and, immediately she sat, he turned to Bella with a glare. "What?"
"I told you, like, a minute ago."
"What do you want me to do, then?"
"I need your phone. I should call them. And, oh, I'm sorry I have been subjected to this condition and have to beg."
As soon as she spoke, Travon walked into the cafeteria, and their eyes met. They stared at each other for a few seconds, and Bella's stomach dropped when she remembered their proximity from the previous day and how the kiss had made her feel. Cody noticed she was distracted and followed her line of sight. His jaw clenched when he saw who she was looking at, and Travon's eyes moved to him.
Bella finally looked away, looking back at her brother, who turned to her with an angry expression.
"You didn't listen to me about him," he said, looking her in the eye.
"Look, I just need your phone, okay? Can I have it?"
"You were with him yesterday, weren't you?" he continued, completely dismissing what she said.
Her heart thumped hard against her ribcage. "Codyâ"
"What're you two up to?"
Trust me, you don't wanna know. "Nothing," she lied, looking down at her fingers.
If Cody found out what happened between them in the robotics lab the previous day, he wasn't going to take it lightly. At all.
"You're lying to me, aren't you?"
"Cody." She looked at him. "Right now, I just need to make a call, okay?" She stretched her palm to him. "Your phone, please."
He stared at her for a while, obviously not satisfied with her answer, but placed his phone in her palm eventually.
"Thanks," she said, putting it on immediately. "Passcode?" she demanded when she came across the lock.
"Give it." She did as he said, and he typed a few characters into the phone before handing it back to her.
Her hands were trembling slightly, for reasons she couldn't exactly identify. The list was endless.
She called Viola first, but, after it rang for a while and she didn't pick up, she knew that was it. She tried again, hoping the outcome this time would be different, but it went to voicemail. Then she tried Beau.
Cody watched her, not looking one bit happy, and she knew after the call, she wouldn't be able to escape him.
The line rang and she silently prayed for him to pick up, but, like when she tried calling Viola, it went to voicemail. She tried two more times, but the results were still the same.
Letting out a sigh, she sent him a text.
Hey. It's Bella. I noticed you're not in school so I thought I'd check on you. Are you okay?
She put a worried face emoji after it, then composed one for Viola.
Cody and I are worried about you. Why aren't you in school today?
She gave the phone back to Cody after sending the text, then stood to leave, wanting to get away from her brother's piercing gaze as soon as possible.
"Sit right back down," he ordered in a low voice, and she almost cried. She was so close.
She did as he said, her expression delicate.
"What're you two up to?" he repeated his question from earlier.
Bella hesitated, looking anywhere but Cody's face.
"Is he putting his hands on you?"
Her eyes widened, then snapped to his. "What the heck? No! Why would you ask me such a question?"
"I don't know. You're giving me all the wrong signals. And he walked in a few minutes ago."
She lifted her eyebrows as if asking, So?
"You were staring at him all frozen up like something happened."
She shook her head. "You've not talked to me properly since Friday night. Is this really what you've been thinking about?"
"I'm just looking out for you. Trust me, you don't want to get involved with Travon."
"Why not? What if I like him? Not that I like him or anything... I'm just asking."
Cody gave her a hard look, then said, "Stay away from him, Bella. Trust me, he's not good for you."
She looked in Travon's direction again and caught him staring at her. He discreetly lifted a hand in a wave, a small smile stretching his lips, and she smiled back.
Her heart leapt, and she tried to keep it under control. Cody was so wrong.
* * *
"Maggie-Lyn's coming over next week," Mrs. Quincy said, walking into the kitchen.
Bella looked up from her laptop, from her spot at the kitchen table, silently thankful for the distraction. Stephanie had finally texted her, after more than a week of nothing, and it took all she had to just stare at the text. Beau and Viola, however, hadn't replied. She could understand why Viola didn't reply to the text or return her calls, but Beau?
She felt uncomfortable the whole day, not able to get her mind off them.
"Really?"
"Yeah. I just talked to her mom and she said she'd be staying for a while. She'll be catching up with her classes online."
"Well, I'm not sharing my room with her this time."
"Why not?" her mom asked with a disapproving tone.
"Her things take up the whole place."
Maggie-Lyn was her sixteen-year-old cousin, whose love for clothes was as high as a balloon tied to the top of the Eiffel Tower. She owned a YouTube channelâthe only thing her and Bella had in commonâtalked a lot, and used the word literally way too much. That girl could beat Jessica Lupinacci in a talking competition, and Jessica loved talking.
"Last year," Bella continued, "she came for our winter get-together with five sparkly suitcasesâfive suitcases for two days, Mom!"
Her mom laughed, sitting across from her at the table. "You can't blame her. She takes after her mom."
"Yeah. Aunt Milly is a real fashion show."
"Maybe Maggie will stay in Adele's room. That reminds me, Adele's coming, too."
Bella moved to the chair closest to her mom. "Is she all right?"
"The breakup isn't treating her well and she's finding it hard to concentrate in college, so she'll come home for maybe a week." A thoughtful look passed over her mom's face. "Hmm. Maybe I'll ask her to go pick Millicent and Maggie from the airport. The drive will do her some good."
"I'm really worried about her."
"She's in the anger stage of grief already. The other night, she called Jared an ass."
Bella laughed, imagining her sister mad. She was usually relaxed. "That's an improvement."
"Uh huh."
"Mom, why don't you just keep your phone with you? It's ringing again. And why does it have to be so loud?" Cody said from somewhere upstairs, and Mrs. Quincy stood.
"It's definitely Millicent," she mumbled, walking out of the kitchen.
Bella glanced at her laptop, and a funny feeling filled her stomach.
To text Stephanie back or not to. To give Viola a call or not to. To cyberstalk Beau just to see the last time he was online or not to. To pretend Beau isn't ignoring me or not to.
Letting out a grunt, she walked out of the kitchen, then looked towards the stairs. "Um, Cody, has Beau texted you? Or Viola?" she shouted.
"No."
To pretend I'm not peeved or not to.
She just didn't get it. She called Beau three times and there was still nothing. It was over four hours, which meant she had spent that amount of time thinking and waiting for him to reply. She understood Viola and her were now history, but her ex-best friend should've at least appreciated her call.
People weren't just supposed to ignore calls. It was wrong. It was uncalled for. It was against the rules of technology and telecommunication.
The more Bella thought about it, the angrier she got.
She took her laptop, then headed to her room. Maybe she should just talk to Big Mouth Maggie-Lyn. She always made her forget her problems. Besides, it had been a while since they spoke.
Immediately she got to her room, she gave her cousin a video-call.
Maggie-Lyn's pretty face came on the screen in no time and she looked confused for a few seconds, before the reality sunk in. Bella mentally counted down from three, and, as soon as she reached one, her cousin began speaking.
"Bella! How have you been? Gosh, I've literally missed you so, so, so much! You know, my mom's literally talking to yours right now and, guess what." She paused, grinning ear to ear, then in a singsong voice, she continued, "I'm literally coming over."
"Hi, Mag. Nice to see you, too. God, does your mouth ever take a break?"
Her smile faltered. "Actually, no. My mom told me I've literally started talking in my sleep."
Bella laughed, then noticed the hood of what she was putting on. "What are you wearing?" she asked, trying hard to contain her laughter.
Maggie-Lyn stood from her bed, then moved back, towards her sticker-clad wall, so her outfit was fully visible. "It's a duck onesie. I'm literally prepping for the onesie challenge I'll be hosting next week." She went back to her bed, going so close to the camera and giving Bella a full view of her nostrils for a few seconds. "Winner gets a Literally Maggie onesieâit literally has my face on it.
"Oh, oh, and it comes with fuzzy slippers. It arrived yesterday and it's pink and literally bee-you-tiful. I'll bring it over next week, 'cause I'm staying for, like, literally a monthâ"
"Maggie," Bella cut in, "you're hosting a onesie challenge?"
"Yeah. When was the last time you watched my videos? The challenge is quite simple. You put on a onesie no matter where you're going, take pictures, post it to your Instagram story and literally tag me. Most impressive wins."
"Wow! That sounds... great," Bella said in a it's-not-that-great-to-me-I'm-just-saying-that tone, and Maggie-Lyn clapped joyfully, giggling like a hyena high on sugar.
"So, how's my Cody?"
Bella playfully rolled her eyes, remembering the unusual affection her cousin had for her brother. "He's fine. Hey, do you know he has a girlfriend now?"
"Yeah, duh."
She gave her a look. "How do you know that?"
"I literally cyberstalk all my relatives. Well, except dad's momâshe literally doesn't know what the Internet is.
"One time, I gave her a video-call, and after grandpa helped her accept it, you won't believe she literally asked me how I got in the computer. She got a baseball bat and literally tried to break the screen." Maggie-Lyn got a distant look in her eyes, and her left eye twitched at the memory. The look disappeared soon enough and she was back to her giddy self. "Anyway, that's beside the point. I saw Cody and Kyra's selfie and they look cute!"
Bella mentally applauded her cousin for saying two sentences without her favorite word in them.
"Oh, and Fashionella's literally trending in a not-so-good way. Your fans are mad. Literally mad! What's going on? Babe, literally talk to me. Trust the girl in the duck onesie."
Bella didn't want to talk about anything Fashionella-related, so she said, "Nuh uh. I don't think I should trust the girl in the duck onesie."
"Come on!"
"When you arrive, okay?"
Her cousin smiled. "Okey-dokey."
They spent the next few minutes talking about random things, and immediately they said their goodbyes, a knock sounded on her door.
"Beau just texted," Cody said, not waiting for her to speak. "The text says, can you meet me at Santa Monica Beach, near that same spot you had your beach party? I'll be waiting."
Bella paused. Beau knew about the beach party? "Did you tell him about the beach party?" she asked Cody, half in thought.
"Oh, you mean the one we spent two minutes at?"
"I was just asking. You don't have to be so grumpy about something that happened a month ago."
"Whatever. If you're going, be home before dinner. I'm tired and can't drive you. Be careful, okay?"
His footsteps retreated, then she heard his door closing down the hallway.
Beau finally texted her and it was this? Why didn't he just call so they would talk on the phone?
She looked into her laptop's screen and caught her reflection. She was still angry at him for ignoring her for so long, and wasn't convinced to go.
So she opened her YouTube.