Kai
There was an odd thing about love. It came like a stalking bird that strikes you from nowhere. When you meet someone, you know you like them, you know you have a certain feeling for that person. It was just there but you're just trying to figure out if it could be more than just a small feeling in your chest. You needed something to make it believable, to make sure that whether it was just a small crush or are you absolutely into them. And it happened. Just because of that one little thing that they do which just changes your whole perspective towards them, you know that at that moment, it was just more than liking how they look or how they act. It was loving how different they were from your reality and learning their reality. It was... arbitrary love.
After the hangout session with Stan last Friday, I came to realize that I was extremely into the guy. Along the weekend and even practising for the open mic event on Wednesday's night, I just couldn't stop thinking about the guy, about what he said and what he could be meant with his words. It was like a secret code that I was intrigued to crack. There was something different with the way nervous or shy people talk, they talked with underlining messages that mean something that they really want to tell someone.
In Stan's case, it was that word 'Whenever I like someone, I will always take them here'. That sentence, that was something that just hides another meaning. Meaning of what I think it is, you know... what I know... what I mean... It was just obvious that he could be telling me that he likes me? But I could never think of that way, it would make a fool of myself to even think that way. I can't be too confident of what my thoughts or my heart is telling me. They both could be wrong, we never know. In a way, I just decided that he just likes me as a foe. We could never be friends, I hated the fact that whenever I see him, I would just remember that we're friends and it would break my heart into pieces knowing well I like him and knowing that we're only friends just ruins that.
Sitting here on a metal bench in front of the counsellor's office, I waited for recess hours to go off. No, I was not here for a counselling session. I'm not that problematic... it's just my emotions. I was waiting for Charlie instead. He got one session just because I reported to Dr Amelia that he was addicted to games. I knew I was backstabbing my friend but somehow, I'm helping him to get off from those games man. He spends his time in his room most all the time in front of his computer. How did I know that? Mrs Nicholson of course. She called me a late night on a Saturday saying that Charlie wasn't coming down for dinner that night and refuses to eat not until he beat that one kid he came to hate on Dangerz.
To make matters worse, he forces me to sit here to wait for him after all the good thing he has now because of me. I had no other thing to do but just sit here with students passing by thinking I was another patient of the trouble.
Then social arrives out of nowhere when two girls stop in their track to look at me. What I saw in them were mere girls. That's all. One of them started talking to me, startling me with how brave she was at starting a conversation with someone intimidating like me. Yeah right, Kai. Just look at yourself. When Stan is in front of you, your 'intimidating' is nothing but thin air.
"Hi! You must be Kai. I'm Kayla," Said one of the girls. I nodded at her, not knowing why exactly she was talking to me. Then she nudges her friend. "Come on, go talk to him. He's alone here. We might get out chance," What chance? And... they do know right that I could hear them?
"Uh... y-yeah. Hi, I'm Sofia... it's nice to meet you," Said the other girl. Now I was so confused at both of them. Can you guys just please go? I'm waiting for my friend here and it's making my mood deteriorating, I really don't wanna transfer that mood to you two. "Uh-huh, hi there. Is there something I could do?" Nope, there's nothing I could do for you two, just leave me alone.
"Well, Sofia here was wondering if you would like to-," After that, I just blocked my ears with a non-existent earphone to mute her voice from speaking further. I really don't wanna get involved in something stupid. This is stupid. Stop being stupid. Just go away. So, at that moment, I just decided to think about everything else as I just nod to whatever word they were saying. Honestly, I was sleepy. I am really tired. I feel like Sunday was not a time for me to rest. I still had to work my butt off to clean the house on a Sunday.
All I could hear from the Kayla girl was just muffles of 'if you don't mind' 'she likes to' 'bla bla bla' 'yadi yadi yada'. Did I mention that this girl is loud? Because she really is. She could not let a pause onto her words. Take a breather girl, no one's chasing ya. What are you even running from?
Then a voice just filled my ears, capturing my attention from both of girls.
"Hey, are you flirting with him? 'Cause I guess you flirting with someone that is not everybody's type," Stan spoke as he stood three feet away from the girls. Way to go with the words Stan, but thank you for getting these girls off my butt. Although his face was red somehow, and his eyes spoke unsatisfaction towards something. Like he looked fiercely protective over something.
The girls just giggled, chuckling at his remarks. What the... it's not even that funny. That was how stupid a person is where they are with someone they liked. They just laughed at everything they said, even when it's not funny.
"Yeah? If we're flirting with you... do we have a chance?" Said Kayla as she twirls her hair with her finger. That was girly, too girly.
"I would... but that would have to involve him as well," He spoke, moving his head to my direction. Is he crazy? Are we doing a foursome? Disgusting man!
Both of the girls giggle loudly. The sound was just overwhelming to my ears. Please sit down and be humble. "Would love to! Anyway, we gotta go, see you later!" And off they go to walk away from the scene. I was grateful enough that that scene was over, these eyes were too tired to even wake up and see a cringy situation.
Stan walks towards me, with one hand in his pocket. I wasn't even looking at him but I know that he was looking at me. He just was. There was this indication of the way he acts that I knew he was staring at me. Maybe I was overreacting of it, but it was what I felt. And it was true.
"Move, I'm sitting here," He said egoistically, making me look at him with annoyance. Did he have to use that tone towards me? He could have just asked nicely. What's with the sudden angst?
Without having any power left to fight, I just move. Standing up, I just chose to stand beside the door to wait for Charlie. That would be just enough for me. "Ey, ey, ey. Who asked you to stand up? I said to move the other side a little," spoke the guy abruptly, looking at me with a dazed look. Oh... so he meant was that he wants to sit with me. Why didn't he say so?
I let out an 'o' shape mouth, realizing his words. Then I sit back down, sitting beside him as I continue waiting for Charlie. But somehow, I just couldn't contain the talkative side of me. He makes me awake suddenly somehow.
"What are you doing, Stan? Why are you even here?" I asked him, looking at him as he looks back at me. The gorgeous smile of him just came back to be painted on his face as he studies my face. Am I that ugly that he couldn't contain his smile?
He laughs softly, shaking his head as he faces down. "I want to sit with you. Is that a problem?" Wow... that was new. Really new.
"Oh! I... am... honoured. I guess?" I smiled, feeling giddy inside at how awkward we were but then again, it was just right for the both of us.
He chuckled. "You're welcome,"
We continue just throwing compliments here and there, trying to start a decent conversation. Last time at the dock, it was just enough for me to know all of him I think. I was just enough that I have no other questions to ask him. I just want to sit and stare at him. I don't want to talk too much, I just want to enjoy his company. Even if it was silence, it was a comfortable one.
"Care to walk me to the cafeteria?" He asked suddenly, gaining back the attention that I had on his face.
I just couldn't say no. He was that irresistible. "Y-yeah. Sure,"
We stand up, walking our way to the cafeteria side by side. I almost have forgotten about Charlie but either way, I think it's not that much of a problem anyways. I started to feel very heated inside with him walking beside me. We weren't much different in terms of height but the way he stood himself just makes him seem taller than I was. The oozing confidence he had was making me feel small and cuddly.
As we approached the entrance to the cafeteria, our hands touched each other. I could feel sparks fly everywhere from that touch, and I felt everything someone would ever describe their first contact with their crush. It was surreal.
He noticed the touch, and we both look down slightly to see what was going on. But I chose to not care about it that much that I stare ahead and look at everyone in front of us. Out of the blue, and for real, it was out of the fucking blue. I feel his hand creeping its way inside my hand, intertwining his fingers with mine. I just froze. My face just glitch of how random that was and how we are in the public eyes that everyone could see what he was doing. I even grab his hands back, feeling his warmth. It was soothing and make me soar high up into space.
Feeling scared, I pull my hand away to scratch the side of my left arm. "Stan?" I began, laughing awkwardly at what we have done.
He even laughed nervously about it, scratching the back of his head. His face just spoke nervousness, not even scared of what other people might think. He was nervous about holding my hand.
"C-could you get water? I'm feeling dry," He spoke, then gave me some dollars to buy his drink. I took the money, then went ahead leaving him to himself as I go to get his drink. I needed to get away from him too. This was too much for me to handle, it was just making me falling more for him.
Walking to the vending machine, I didn't realize that I was bumping onto Liara. She stops me from moving any further, a look of interested was evident in her eyes. Please don't say that she saw that.
"I saw what I saw and I want an explanation. I knew it! I knew it! Spill me all the beans!!!"
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