Kai
"Thanks for taking me out," I said to the male with his leather jacket as I got down from his motorcycle. I started to play with my feet as I look down onto the ground, feeling embarrassed all of a sudden but I look up at the protruding once I realize what my words meant. "W-wait, no, what I meant was thanks... for hanging out with me," I smiled awkwardly, struggling to hide the blush that makes it way to my cheeks.
He laughed softly, looking at me with sincere eyes. "You're welcome. Thanks also for... coming with me. It's been a while since I hang out with someone somewhere private," He chuckled. His words just made me froze to think. Private? Were we... dating? Nah... I don't think so. He's straight, why would he do that? I wonder what he thinks about gay people.
Having my helmet off my head, I gave it back to him and step back a little from him. "Y-yeah. It was nice. I would love to do it again sometimes," I spoke, suddenly having the courage to ask something wouldn't normally ask someone that I like. Gosh... you keep stumbling back and forth for this dude, Kai...
As I asked, he looked at me with nothing but thoughts running here and there in his eyes. I was eagerly waiting for an answer and- "No, I don't think hanging around a lot with you would be good for me. I like Charlie more," What?! Just right there, my heart was being smashed by a sledgehammer and I had nothing left to do but crack a laugh.
"Of course you do. Charlie plays games and... you play games so yeah," I force a laugh then shaking my head to get rid of the feeling. He just looked at me with his eyes that spoke a different shade now. I try to not think about it as I step back again, turning to take my leave.
My hand went to scratch my elbow. "Well then, I'll be going now. Thank you for today Stan," I acknowledged, then turning around to walk quickly towards my house. He was still there, probably waiting for me to go inside my house before driving off. As I was about to open the door to my house, I heard a faint calling of my name but I ignored it as I went inside, feeling all mushy but sad at the same time.
-
"So that's how we... yeah, that's how we," I replied to Liara as we sat in her living room, sitting comfortably and listening to me intently.
It has been three days since the first time we ever touched our hands together. Both of us hadn't ever spoken to each other about it after that. But then again, in those three days... I never even talked to him or see him walking around school. I figured that maybe he got sick, or he bailed out of school, but he was in school. Charlie saw him... a lot. But somehow, in front of my eyes... he never even showed himself. I'm scared if he was feeling avoidant because of me. The open mic? It got postponed, and I was not relived at all because that event was the only way I could see him properly.
In those three days also, I have been storytelling to Liara about what happened between us from the day we met to the day we bump and to what happens now... when I rarely have seen him since. She has been giving me her ears as I explain what happened and I just couldn't shake the fact that she saw us.
"I knew something was going on between you. The look on Stan's face just shows everything!" She mused, her eyes showed glitters and I feel like she was more than okay with the idea of a male and male relationship. I showed her my teeth, smiling woodenly. "You're okay about that?"
She squealed, making herself sound like a dolphin. "Hell yeah! It's so cute and adorable! How can one not be a fan!" She replied. I took it upon myself that yeah, she was extremely okay with it. My fingers went to play with each other. I feel so embarrassed that someone knows and that it shows what I am into. Liara then put her hand suddenly on my shoulder, making me face her with much sadness in my eyes.
"It's okay, Kai. There's nothing to be ashamed of if you like boys... I'm here for you. Plus, I think everyone at school is okay with it," She comforted, staring at me back between her glasses of the sincerity in her sentence. I felt like I was about to cry, and I did. A streak of tear fell from the corner of my eyes as I began to accept that I was in fact into boys.
I chuckled, bringing my right hand to wipe away the tears. "This is my first time opening to someone. I- It... it feels great," She looked at me, with a tear falling from her eyes as well, then laugh softly to what I said. "Oh, you're making me tear up as well, jackass. But it's an honour, to be the first one for you to open up with," She chuckled, smiling softly at me.
But the anxiety just kicks in. "But what about the others? My parents would kick me out of the house for it. The school, the people, they would think of me as a-,"
"Kai, hey... it's okay. I get it that maybe your parents may have a hard time later on when you open up-,"
"If I open up," I cut her, looking away.
She sighed, moving closer to me. "If you open up to them, I'll be by your side. The best thing to do is wait until your eighteen... and about the others at school. I figure Charlie would understand, he's your best friend! And the others... they just have to live with it. It's your life, Kai. There's nothing to be ashamed of and I'm sure everyone else had gone through the same thing as you. Trust me, you'll be okay," I nodded at her, taking in her words slowly. She was right, it was my life, and when I turn eighteen later on, it would be my life for me to drive. I could do whatever I want.
"Thanks, Liara. You're like closer to me than I feel Charlie is," I laughed. But it was true, she just sees me right through my facade and gives me support for how twisted I am. Charlie... he just spends his time with his games. But maybe that was my fault for not talking to him about that topic I guess.
"I should get going now, my tutor would rip my head off if I was late," I addressed, standing up. She stands up as well, accompanying me to the front door. My parents decided that having a tutor was going to fill my time in the afternoon after school because they're scared that I fill those time with sleep. There I was thinking that I was doing great in my academics that I wouldn't have tutoring but guess what? I can't have my free time to myself as well!
We said our goodbyes to each other. I went on my worn bicycle that was kept on our garage for a long time and start my way to my tutor's house. I don't have any driving licence at all, so I had to use this option instead. I opted to walk initially but when I saw the sun was burning bright on top of my head, there was no way I want to walk if I was being burned alive. With my feet paddling swiftly, I made my way quickly to the said house.
* * *
I sat comfortably in the living room as I waited for my tutor to come. The tutor who is a 'she', her mother said that she had errands to do in the open city. Her mother kindly invited me in and let me settle down in the living room as of right now. I had no ideas of what I was going to do while I wait, therefore I went around to see what was in the house.
Yes, I know I wasn't supposed to snoop around someone's house but I had no choice. Plus, I realize that this house was close to mine, so I think my parents knew who these people are. I walked around to see a family picture, there were the parents of course. Then, I saw a girl and a boy. The girl I assumed was my tutor. She looked beautiful with her short hair. But the boy, he looked familiar. So familiar that I had to put my fingers on the picture.
"I guess you liked the house?" The voice startled me and I almost dropped the picture from my hands. Putting back to where it came from, I turn around to see none other than Stan. Oh, how convenient. My tutor was my crush's sister. "I... I didn't know it was your house," I replied, looking everywhere except his face. I knew he was smirking at me.
I heard his footsteps as he walks closer to me, his hands both in his pockets. "What are you doing in here, Kai?" He asked, having me facing up to look at him. I could feel my heart just stops beating when I saw his face getting closer to mine. His breath would just hit my face and intensifying the warmth that I had on my face. Where was my tutor anyway? Please save me, anyone.
"I... I'm here for tutoring... your sister? She, um, she's my tutor," He nodded at me, taking my words as the final answer.
Just then, the door opens and came in his sister. Both of us looked at her as she looked at us as well. Then she smiled. "Oh hey, Kai. Sorry I was late, had some bills to pay. I see you've met my brother," She said, walking to us.
"Yeah... he was keeping me company," I replied, smiling at her. Stan was just staring at me when I said those words. I feel that he doesn't like what I just said about him, so I just shrugged, laughing awkwardly.
Her sister smiled happily, she had a different look than Stan. She had blonde hair, that sits well with her complexion. I think she has the father's side because last time I saw the family picture, only the father had blonde hair. But she looked beautiful, even her brother looked beautiful at times. It runs in the family I supposed?
"Alright then, wait for me in my room. I'll be with you soon,"
After that, I just walked upstairs to her room leaving her with Stan. I could hear little chatter from her towards Stan but I have no idea what she was talking about but whatever it is, I don't want to get into someone's private matter. But in those little chatter, I could hear my name being mentioned and I felt so worried, worried if maybe my feelings for Stan was obvious that his sister saw it... especially we're in a home together.
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