Chapter 82: Chapter 82

Adelie

I knew I’d made a mistake. I’d told him I didn’t love him, and I meant it. But his reaction told me he didn’t feel the same.

His face when I said those words. I’d shattered him. The Alpha everyone feared was broken by a few simple words.

I didn’t think he still had feelings for me. I didn’t think I mattered to him anymore.

But then, I wasn’t entirely sure I didn’t love him.

That’s why I kissed him. I wanted to mend his broken heart. I wanted to take back my words.

I wanted to apologize, to tell him I didn’t mean it, even though I wasn’t sure if I did or not.

All I knew was that I was confused about my feelings for him. At that moment, I didn’t think it was love. I didn’t know how to love without the guidance of the moon goddess.

And I was filled with doubt. If we hadn’t been mates, I might not have chosen him.

My kiss took him by surprise. He didn’t react. He didn’t move. He didn’t pull me into his arms and kiss me back like he used to. He just stood there.

I tried to kiss him like before, but it felt wrong. I didn’t believe in it. And it got worse with every passing second, because he just stood there, expressionless.

Some might see being pushed away as a punishment. But for me, it was a relief. A relief from the guilt I felt for what I’d said.

His reaction made me feel even worse.

He pushed me away, gently, without anger.

Then he stepped back. “I don’t think this is good for either of us,” he said, trying to laugh it off. But his smile didn’t reach his eyes, and tears were streaming down his face.

“Kairos, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that.” I tried to make excuses, but he knew. He knew I’d messed up.

And I felt terrible. My throat was tight, and I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. I tried to move closer to him, but he stepped back.

“Kairos, we just have a problem we need to work through. It won’t be easy. But we…we ~will~ get through it.

“Like we always do. Right?” I tried to smile, to pretend everything was okay.

“We’re just going through a rough patch. It will get better. Because I…I feel different…I just need time to understand this new me…and this new us.”

I didn’t know what else to say to make him understand.

I didn’t want to leave him. I didn’t want to imagine a world without him. I was so used to having him in my life.

“So it’s true. Nymphs only truly love nature. I was never part of your perfect love story. I was just a side effect.

“I understand that you lost your wolf. I can’t imagine losing mine. But love…I thought you’d still feel it.”

He nodded, forcing a smile.

“And what now?” he asked, shrugging. “Do we pretend to love each other until you fall back in love with me?

“And what if you don’t? It won’t matter, right? I’ll still love you, you’ll pretend to love me, and everything will be fine. It will be enough for me.

“As long as you say you love me, I’ll die happy. We’ll live our perfect lives. With our perfect family.”

Kairos moistened his lips and gave a nod. “I’m relieved we’ve sorted that out.” He pivoted to rejoin the others.

“Kairos!” I hollered after him.

To my surprise, he glanced back. “I just need a bit more time,” I pleaded.

He brushed away a tear. “Sure. Take all the time you need. We’ve got all the time in the world,” he said, then walked away, his heart in pieces.

What was I supposed to do now?

I felt a drizzle on my back and looked up to see the trees swaying. A storm was brewing.

I wrapped my arms around myself for warmth against the biting wind.

Then, I decided to chase after Kairos. I didn’t want him to feel alone. I wanted him to know I was there for him, despite the complexity of our situation.

Damn it, he had no one else. And I needed him. Whether it was love or not, I needed him.

So, I headed to the house and climbed the stairs. I entered our room, but he wasn’t there. I descended the stairs and scanned the area. He was nowhere to be found.

I saw Helen carrying a pillow and blanket. “Hey, Helen, are we expecting guests?” I inquired.

She shook her head. “Alpha asked me to set up a room for him.”

He was leaving our room. I wondered what Helen made of all this.

I managed a smile at her. “I’ll take it to him,” I offered, accepting the bedding. “Which room?”

“End of the right wing.” Of course. As far away as he could possibly be.

As I made my way there, I felt a comforting presence. I glanced back and saw a figure in the darkness, entering a room.

I set the bedding down and followed, certain I knew who it was.

A few rooms ahead, the door was ajar. I peeked in cautiously and saw the person I’d been missing. I closed the door behind me and rushed into my father’s arms. He held me tight.

“Why didn’t you come to me?” I questioned. “You knew what happened to me, yet you didn’t come.”

I’d grown up knowing that having Death as a father wasn’t normal, and that seeing him often wouldn’t be easy.

He kissed my forehead. “I know. I’m sorry. But I also know you’re okay, sweetheart. And with time, you’ll get better. I know you.

“And I needed to sort something out before I came to you,” he added.

“Is everything okay?” He slipped his hands into his pockets and sat on the bed while I took the armchair across from him. He looked troubled. “Dad?”

He massaged his forehead. “I think I’ll be visiting you more often for a while.”

For a while? Was someone dying? “Why?”

He shook his head. “Sweetheart, I…I don’t know. What I do know is that I feel my soul hanging by a thread.

“I spoke with the higher powers and they confirmed that losing your wolf soul could harm your actual soul. The souls are intertwined. And everything happened so fast.”

“Dad, I’m okay,” I reassured him. “Could I be…” I was scared to utter the word associated with my father.

“No, no, no,” he interrupted.

“It’s not death itself. The problem is with the soul. I sense a soul nearing me, but I can’t figure out why or how. This doesn’t usually happen when people die. This is different,” he clarified.

“I feel okay.” I considered everything and looked beyond my feelings. I was okay. Healthy. But…

“What does it mean?” I asked. I ~had~ lost my wolf soul…could I lose my actual soul? What would be left of me?

He didn’t meet my gaze as he spoke in a hushed tone. “Sweetheart, I won’t know unless your soul departs, and if I lose it…it might take me a while to find it.”

His complexion was ghostly, and I couldn’t fault him for it. My own heart was pounding, and I was teetering on the edge of a breakdown.

“What if I lose my soul?” I questioned.

“If you lose your soul, you lose your conscience, your personality. Your thought process won’t be the same.

“You’ll still comprehend things, but your empathy will vanish. Even for yourself. It’ll make you a threat.”

“I could never intentionally harm anyone!” The idea of being a danger to others was unthinkable. I could never inflict pain on another living being.

“People don’t think like that when they’re soulless.” He rose from his seat and moved towards the window.

“I’m trying to work out a plan. Right now, it seems like we have time, but it could be weeks or years. I’ll do everything in my power to save you.

“In the meantime, stay safe. I’ll check in when I can, and if anything changes, you let me know. Understand?”

I simply nodded. Would this ever stop? This relentless struggle?

“Should I be scared?” I asked.

He shook his head. “I think I can control it. Right now, it feels distant. As long as I stay with you while it looms, you’ll be okay. Just be cautious. In the meantime…”

He handed me a ring.

I examined it. It looked like a typical gold ring. “I retrieved it from the afterlife. It’ll keep me connected to your soul. I know it’s loose, but don’t remove it.” I nodded in agreement.

“I should leave now.” He planted a kiss on my cheek, then slowly exited.

Why couldn’t things be calm? From the moment I understood what mates were, when I discovered Hans was my mate, everything was thrown into chaos.

Or was it because I lacked a mother to shield me and protect me from all harm? Even concealing my own twin.

Was this the right time to bring it up? I wasn’t certain, but it was nagging at me.

“Dad, do you know what Esty told me?” I asked.

Despite Esty’s past wrongs, I felt this was the truth.

He stepped closer, intrigued. “What?”

“I have a twin sister.” I didn’t pose it as a question. I simply stated what I’d heard and what I believed to be true. Esty was many things, but a liar wasn’t one of them.

I didn’t need his confirmation. His silence was deafening. And his look of guilt said it all. “How?” he asked. “How did she find out?”

“Dad, why didn’t ~I~ know?” I asked, a mix of sadness and anger. “Does she know? Where is she? When were you going to ~tell~ me?”

“When the time was right.” He sat down next to me. “Sweetheart, I…I hate doing this to you…to both of you, but this isn’t the right time.

“Your mother and I were so fortunate to have two incredibly powerful daughters but…” I saw tears in his eyes. He seldom cried. Had he ever?

“We couldn’t risk her safety, so we sent her to a mundane world. We ensured she had everything she needed, and I still visit her.

“And I knew that separating you two would always hurt. But we were prepared to face your hatred and indifference if it meant you were safe.

“We did our best to protect you until you both grew up. But now you have your own battles to fight, and so does your sister. She’s fighting, and I’m there, supporting her.”

I had never seen him cry like this. He rarely showed much emotion, but his tears were enough to show that this was causing him pain.

He had lied, yes. But I’d never met her. How could I miss a sister I’d never known, never experienced having?

Now, though, I was left with the knowledge that she was out there somewhere. And my mother? Had she ever done anything to hurt me? She’d died to keep me safe.

“Does she know about me?” I asked.

He nodded. “She does. She hopes you’ll meet one day. Just not today.” He kissed my hands. “I’m sorry. So very sorry,” he said again.

He hadn’t done anything wrong. I was beginning to understand that there were things far worse than parents lying to protect their child. “It’s okay,” I told him.

His eyes lit up with hope and he smiled. “I was worried you wouldn’t understand.”

I hugged him tightly. “I love you,” I said, and he answered with a kiss on my forehead.

Death departed, and I returned to where I’d left my blanket and pillow on the ground—only to find them gone.

A sliver of light was visible from what I assumed was now Kairos’s room. Peeking inside, I saw him lying on his back in bed.

His eyes were open. I watched his eyelashes flutter.

I shifted my weight inadvertently, causing the door to creak. Kairos sat up abruptly and watched as I stumbled awkwardly. “I’m sorry,” I mumbled.

I tried to walk away out of habit, but I lingered near the door.

He knew I was there, so why hide? I stepped into his room. It was much smaller than ours.

He just sat there, looking at me. He looked better now, cleaned up and in fresh clothes.

I noticed a vodka bottle shattered against the wall. The wall itself was wet, and the room smelled strongly of alcohol. I walked over to open the window and saw the moon was full.

He was still watching me, but now I saw something else. His hand was bleeding. I didn’t say anything; I just walked over to him, but he pulled his hand away.

“Please don’t,” he said quickly.

“Kairos…”

“Just leave it, Adelie,” he snapped.

“I want to help you,” I insisted.

He chuckled wearily. “Things may have changed for you, but I still won’t hurt you.”

“You’re bleeding!” I cried.

He looked down, tore a piece of his bedsheet, and wrapped it around his hand. “All better. Now you can sleep peacefully.” How ironic. Didn’t he know I never had peace?

I walked over to him and grabbed his hand, but he pulled it back again. I wasn’t afraid of him. I pulled his arm towards me.

Instead, he grabbed me and threw me onto the bed, leaning over me and trapping me.

Our eyes locked and he didn’t look away. He stared at me. And I didn’t want to break the connection. In that moment, I didn’t know what love was—but I recognized the look of a man in lust.

I felt my cheeks flush. His minty breath fanned my face. It was all too much, especially after our earlier conversation.

“Why did you leave our room?” I asked him.

His eyes traveled down, and he pulled my hair to the side of my neck and touched it.

He touched where his mark had been, now just a tattoo, colored skin devoid of feeling. “It’s the full moon,” he said.

I looked at him, confused. He leaned in a little closer. “I don’t think you want me in the same bed as you when your scent sends me into heat.” It sent a chill down my spine.

“Males don’t go into heat,” I responded, maybe scared, maybe embarrassed, maybe flattered.

He gave a nonchalant shrug. “I can’t figure out what’s going on with me. Perhaps I’m going crazy. But you need to leave. I can’t be with you.” I was certain he didn’t mean it. He just couldn’t. I didn’t want him to.

I felt a sense of comfort here, but I knew I’d overstayed my welcome. “I want to stay with you…”