For the best part of an hour I just toss and turn, never able to lie still for more than a couple of minutes. Then, my phone vibrates and I reluctantly answer it with an annoyed grunt.
'Imagine me throwing stones at your window, but don't open it to find out why, just get dressed and come downstairs, Romeo is waiting for you, Juliette.' I hear Raph's amused voice through the phone.
It takes me all of two minutes to actually move and another five to be dressed and actually rush downstairs as fast as I can.
He stands there, in his suit from earlier, looking immaculate as he did during his performance and he's holding a single red rose in his hand.
'Hey gorgeous.' he says, taking slow steps towards me. It's very reminiscent of how his wolf moves and it makes my heart speed up just a bit.
'I'm not sure whether I should call this super romantic or completely embarrassing for both of us, but mainly you?' I say once he's close enough to touch.
My hand unconsciously reaches out, but he stops me by holding up his own.
'First, I have brought you this.' and he actually holds out the rose to me.
I'm speechless for a second, then blink a few times and then actually take it.
'Thank you.' I say and I mean, but I simply turn around and stick it in the earth of the little flower garden mum has in front of the house because there's something a lot more important than that rose right now. So I walk back to him, grab his face and just kiss him. His arms sneak around me as I do and he pulls me even closer to himself.
Soon, I lean back a bit so I can breathe, keeping my eyes locked on him.
'To answer your question.' he eventually whispers, 'call it romantic. Anything else will make this even more mortifying than it already is. Also, don't throw away that rose so carelessly, got it especially for you.'
'I didn't throw it away. I'm gonna take it with me when we get back, but I really just wanted to kiss you. Is that bad?' I ask back, looking at him with what I hope to be puppy eyes. Apparently it works, because he's back to kissing me in a heartbeat.
By the time we actually make it to his car we're both out of breath and have swollen lips, but it was definitely worth it.
'I'm sorry' he suddenly says once we've made it out of town. I don't know where we're going since it's already the middle of the night, but I'm not too bothered by that yet.
'What for? Even though all of this was a bit over the top, it's actually quite cute.' I nudge his hand that is holding mine and thread our fingers together.
'That's not what I meant. I know you were hurting after the concert. I wanted so bad to go up to you and kiss you and I couldn't. I'm sorry for that.'
I know exactly how he feels. It's painful and it feels unfair.
'You played for me though, didn't you?' I ask, pulling his hand to my lips for a simple kiss.
'Of course I played for you.' is his immediate response. I'm so tempted to just lean over and kiss him properly, but I refrain from doing so only because he's driving.
When he finally does stop, I take a look around but don't recognise anything. We seem to be in a parking lot of some sort. I look over to him and note the frown on his face.
'Looks closed.' he mumbles, 'We'll try another one then.'
Unfortunately, we don't have any luck at all with every place we find.
'Don't worry about it. It's late, nothing would be open at this time.' I try to make him feel better.
'But I wanted to take you out. You deserve it.' he honestly looks unbelievably upset.
'Get out.' I've got an idea about what to do, but I can't tell him because he'd probably have a fit about how inappropriate it is.
Once he's left the car with a confused frown on his face, I get into the driver's seat and gesture him to get back in.
'I know a place.' I explain before starting the car and driving off again.
'You cannot be serious.' he says, his eyes going back and forth between me and the giant yellow 'M' in front of us.
'I am pretty serious and if you don't tell me what you want right now, I'll just order whatever.'
He doesn't really answer, probably still too shocked to say anything, so I just chuckle and order an array of things we can share.
Ten minutes later I stop the car a second time, but this time in the middle of nowhere. I carefully drive onto the grass on the side of the road and turn it off completely.
Without waiting for my moody boyfriend, I get out and sit down, my back to the side of the car and the McDonald's food on my lap. Soon, said moody boyfriend actually takes a seat next to me, but stays silent, still sulking for no reason whatsoever.
When I don't get any reaction out of him at all, I start eating my food and moaning around it. I actually have to hold back a chuckle when he groans and turns around to me with an annoyed face.
'Would you stop moaning please.'
I quickly swallow the food in my mouth to press a quick peck onto his lips.
'You're talking again, mission accomplished.' I grin.
He just groans, sits back down and starts eating with me.
We don't really talk, just sit there and finish the greasy McDonald's.
'Thanks for this.' I say once we finish.
'Well, it didn't exactly go to plan.' He's calmed down a bit, so at least he sounds normal again.
'It's perfect though. I just wanted to touch you and I can, so I'm more than happy, promise.' I try to explain, while rolling over and straddling his legs.
'I can tell.' he grins, one eyebrow twitching upward.
'Oh shut up, that's not what I meant.' I'm still grinning, knowing this is just silly banter and nothing more.
'Also, using your brother like that was sneaky. I haven't forgotten, just so you know.' I remind him, but he seems really confused, so I add: 'The handkerchief?'
That makes him grin once again.
'Pretty genius, right?'
I only roll my eyes and proceed to pepper kisses over his face.
We really don't go much further, instead I lay my head onto his shoulder and press my upper body to his. Raph's arms hold me to him tightly and he's humming some melody I don't recognise into my ear.
'Can you tell me a secret of yours?' he suddenly asks.
It's not in his usual playful tone and I can tell this is important to him, so I share one of those stories that I don't really want many people to know about.
'When I was five years old, my dad was killed by rogues.' I start and immediately I feel Raph's hold on me tighten, 'We don't really know why, nor do we know who exactly it was, but when mum and I came back from a friend's house, dad was in the garden, his throat ripped out.'
I stay silent for a second, trying to compose myself and not to let that image haunt me again as it has for so long.
'Mum changed a bit after that. She still loved me and let me know too, but she also started training me. I do hold my own in a fight quite well now. Mum also kept looking for the rogues that killed him. For four years she was always in and out of the house in an instant because when new leads would come up, she always went to check them out immediately. I didn't feel abandoned necessarily, since she was mostly home, but she felt distant. Her main focus was finding dad's killers, I was only second best. I guess she realised at some point, since she stopped doing that and devoted all her time to me after I turned nine.' I finish.
We stay quiet for another few minutes before I give the question back to Raph.
'Tell me one of yours.' I say softly.
'I love you.' he says immediately.
'That's not a secret.' I reply and kiss his neck.
'Fine', he chuckles, but then goes back to being serious in an instant. Somehow, I get the feeling he only asked me so he can tell me this.
'I can't remember my parents at all. The earliest memory I have of my childhood is from a orphanage. We were so many that the few that got adopted were barely even a fraction. I was one of the kids that never even got looked at twice. It had nothing to do with me or the visitors, it's just that the sheer number of kids made it very unlikely to be picked. It wasn't an easy life but it could honestly have been a lot worse. All those horror stories of orphanages may very well be true, but I rarely experienced anything worse than some name calling for stupid reasons and some meals I wasn't allowed to eat. When they figured out that I was half wolf after my first shift at 10, they tried to get rid of me anyway the legally could, but it was only four years ago that I was adopted by the alpha. It was a few months prior that they realised that I must have come from quite a strong bloodline, so the alpha took me and Sam in as a means to both preserve that bloodline and protect us. He's treated us like his own sons ever since and to this day I am convinced that I owe my life to him. And I guess the secret is that part of the reason I find it so hard to tell anyone about us, is that I don't want to lose or disappoint the man that has given me so much.'
Just from the tone in his voice I can tell how important this is for him, but hearing that last bit doesn't hurt any less. So instead of saying anything, I simply cling to him and hope, as cliche as it sounds, for time to stop right now so I can stay this close to him forever.