Livianaâs POV
Itâs been a few days since that incident, I havenât seen or talked to my father since I came back to the pack house.
I havenât spoken to Luan either.
Heâs beenâ¦distant.
He was upset.
I couldnât blame him.
I was in the wrong for hiding something so important to him.
Still, I didnât really regret it.
But I wasnât too proud of myself either.
I went out of the pack house and got on my motorbike.
âEdmond, Iâm going out for a while. Let me know if anything comes upâ I mind linked Edmond.
âYes, Alphaâ he immediately replied.
I wore my helmet and started the engine before driving off.
I could no longer go to my safe space to think.
My family was there.
I could no longer go by the lake.
Itâd be too easy to find me.
I needed a place where I can avoid everyone at the moment.
I just really needed some time to think and get away from everything and everyone.
After a while of riding my motorbike, I reached my destination.
It was the place where I ended up in when Luan suddenly came back after being gone for a whole month.
The place where I unexpectedly met Howl the last time.
I stood beside the lake as I stared at the water.
I stared at my reflection.
Suddenly, I felt annoyed for some reason.
âYouâre supposed to be smart. But why are you an i***t about this kind of things?â I talked to my reflection.
I think Iâm really close to losing it.
âYouâre supposed to be strong and fearless but why do you look so helpless now?â I continued.
Iâm really going mad.
âHow are you supposed to rule both territories in this state? Can you really do it? Do you really deserve to be a ruler?â I said as I clenched my fists and a tear fell from eye.
âYouâ¦â I said as I stared at my reflection.
âAre you really fit to be a queen?â I questioned and the tears fell down from my eyes to my cheeks endlessly.
I fell to my knees as I subbed.
I never thought Iâd come to a point in my life where Iâd doubt myself so much that Iâd have this painful aching in my heart.
Iâve experienced a lot of disappointments in my life.
But I think I was the worst one of them all.
Then, I heard rustling and I immediately got up on my feet on alert.
Then, I saw the familiar wolf and I sighed in relief as I sat back down anf wiped my tears away.
I heard more rustling by the bushes.
After a few moments, I heard his steps coming in my direction.
âWhat are you doing in my hangout again? Did you miss me so bad that you came here to see me?â he said as he sat down beside me.
I gave him a look.
âAre you high? Donât you think your imagination is too out of this world? Stop daydreaming, Howlâ I said and he pouted at me.
I rolled my eyes at him and slightly pulled the collar of my shirt to reveal my mark to him.
âWill this invalidate your delusions about me?â I said as I showed him the mark.
He looked at it and his eyes widened a bit.
âYouâre markedâ he muttered in shock.
I nodded.
Howl hasnât been at school often because the football team has been going to matches so we havenât encountered each other as often as we used to.
âWowâ he said as he looked at me.
âYou actually let yourself get markedâ he said as he looked at me in surprise.
âWhatâs so shocking?â I frowned at him.
Howl chuckled.
âNo wonder there was something off about youâ he said and I frowned at him.
âCongratulationsâ he said with a genuine smile.
I chuckled.
âItâs weird to hear that from you so just shut up because it making me cringeâ I said and he pouted again as I chuckled.
We were silent for a moment.
âSo whatâs with the tears?â he suddenly asked.
âCanât you just shut up like I said earlier? Or maybe go back your pack so I can have the place to myself?â I said but not in super rude way.
Howk chuckled.
âIâll just shut up thenâ he said.
We had a comfortable silence between us.
It was nice.
Although earlier, I wanted to be alone, I didnât mind having Howl around.
Probably because I didnât have any concern with him.
He isnât that bad at all.
I used to hate his guts.
But I can tolerate it now.
More minutes passed by as we just sat there in silence.
I contemplated on talking to him many times.
And I decided to just go with it.
âCan I consult you on something?â I suddenly voiced out.
âGo aheadâ he said.
I took a deep breath.
âI have a friend and wellâ¦.she has a problem with somethingâ I started.
I wanted to use the âthis is not my storyâ card.
Howl chuckled and I slightly glared at him so he immediately stopped.
âSoâ¦uhhhâ¦so, my friend she had something happen in her life. It was something really really big but sheâ¦â I paused then bit my lower l*p.
âShe hid it from her partner. She did it to protect him but it didnât end well. In fact, it became even worse than she imaginedâ I said as I sighed.
âTo protect him? What was she protecting him from?â Howl asked curiously.
I looked at him.
âPain. She wasâ¦protecting him from the unbearable pain in his lifeâ I said sadly.
Howl stared at me for a moment.
âWas she able to successfully protect him?â he asked.
âFor now. But I think she still hurt him even when she was able to protect him from the thing that she feared would cause him painâ I said as I looked down.
âDoes that mean that heâs bound to experience that pain eventually?â Howl said and I nodded.
âUnfortunatelyâ I said as I sighed.
âHe should be thankfulâ Howl said and I looked up at him.
âHe has someone whoâs willing to protect him from painâ he continued and he smiled a little as he looked at the river.
âAlthough keeping something that sounds so important from him is upsetting, the fact that she was doing it all for his sake should be more than enough reason for him to just move on from it and get along with her alreadyâ he said as he glanced at me.
âIâm sure it was hard for her tooâ he said.
âTo keep it all to herself. It must have been really difficult but she did it in order to protect him. Heâs luckyâ he said and gave me a smile.
I just stared at Howl as he talked.
âNot everyone can be so selfless even if itâs for their other halfâ he said.
âYouâre so selfless, Liviana Crestâ he said as he smiled at me.
I looked at him stunned.
âKeeping it a secret from Grey was stupid. But you did it because you cared for him that much. And youâll keep wanting to protect him till the end. Just like the stupid yet amazing person that you areâ he stated.
My eyes widened at him.
âI didnât say anything about it being me or Luan! Youâre assuming things! It was my friendâs concern!â I said but Howl only laughed.
I flushed red as I huffed and stared at the water.
We were both quiet again.
âI heard some of the things you were saying earlierâ Howl suddenly said and I looked at him in shock.
âWhy are you doubting yourself?â he said.
âDid you hear everything?â I asked nervously.
âMostlyâ he confessed.
I gulped as I looked away.
âYouâre an amazing leader, Crest. Not everyone does it like you do. You juggle with being an Alpha, being a student and being youâ he said.
âYouâre annoyingly impressive. It hurts my pride to admit it but itâs trueâ he said with a chuckle.
I chuckled too.
âDonât pressure yourself too much. Youâre doing just fine. If it makes you feel better, if I was in your position, I wouldâve lost my mind a long time agoâ he said and gave me an assuring smile.
I smiled a little.
Just when I was having doubts about myself.
Then, this dude comes along.
For a moment, I saw Howl as my friend rather than my rival.
âWho are you and what did you do to Tyler Howl?â I said with a chuckle.
Howl frowned and pouted at me.
âYouâre so matureâ he said sarcastically and I laughed.
I looked at Howl with a smile on my face.
âThank youâ I said and he smiled.
âYouâre welcomeâ he said.
Then, we both turned to look at the water again.
âArenât you going back? Iâm sure your mate is looking for you. That dude is one clingy and possessive son of a btch when it comes to youâ Howl said with a chuckle.
âIt doesnât matter. Heâs ignoring me anywayâ I said with a slight shrug.
âWhat a babyâ he said and I laughed.
âOh yeah. Letâs see you when you actually find your matchâ I said with a smirk.
âOh please. I would never act like himâ he said as he faked a bark.
I shook my head with a chuckle.
âI highly doubt itâ I said confidently.
âIâm pretty confident I wonâtâ he stilk insisted and I just shrugged.
After that, we bickered and teased each other a little longer about random things about ourselves and about our packs.
I was able to set aside my doubts and just think clearly.
I felt better.