Chapter 82
Emperor Qianxingâs reign was short-lived, barely lasting a year before it came to a crushing end.
Empress Dowager Cao, clearly stricken with grief, felt the weight of the loss. Yet, within a month of the national mourning period, life in the capital began to return to its usual rhythm, with the citizens and officials slowly resuming their daily routines.
As the warm spring sun bathed the city and the flowers bloomed in full glory, Yunzhu made her way back to her parentsâ home, taking in the familiar sights of the life sheâd once known.
Li Yao, ever the steadfast soldier, remained in his position as vanguard commander of Jinwu, heading out before the crack of dawn each day. At the mansion, it was only Meng Shi, the mother-in-law, and Gu Min, the daughter-in-law, who lingered behind, maintaining the home in his absence.
The Ningguo Dukeâs mansion, now enjoying the favor of the new emperor, was on the verge of brighter days, but Meng Shi, ever cautious, declined every invitation and greeting that came their way. After all, the new emperor had yet to arrive in the capital, Emperor Qianxingâs body remained unburied, and Empress Dowager Cao was still deep in mourning.
In the privacy of her own space, Meng Shi rarely allowed her tears to fall in front of her daughter. âYour brother, Xian, is coming back. He hasnât been away this long before.â
When Xian first left Beijing, Meng Shi had been strong, resolute, never showing a crack in front of her daughter or daughter-in-law. But now, with his return, the weight of her worries seemed lighter, allowing her true feelings to slip free.
Yunzhu couldnât help but tease her mother, âYouâre just longing for my brother. Daddyâs off to welcome the new emperorâheâll be gone for months, yet you havenât mentioned a single word about him.â
Meng Shi glanced from her daughter to her daughter-in-law, a wry smile tugging at her lips. âYour father and I? Weâve been together for over 20 years. We donât cling to each other like you younger couples.â
Gu Min, caught in the moment, lowered her eyes, a blush creeping across her cheeks.
Yunzhu found it hard to understand the deep attachment between her brother and sister-in-law. During the first month of her own marriage to Cao Xun, she had been just as swept up in passion, fervently devoted. But as time wore on, with every trial they faced, she began to question what would come of their future together.
She wasnât one for pretense. She refused to force affection or feign gratitude toward Cao Xun, even if it meant paying lip service for the sake of the family. The man had helped them through a tough situation, but that wasnât reason enough to deceive him. Pretending, to her, felt like stripping herself of her own integrity.
For Yunzhu, the solution seemed simple: divorce. It would free her from his expectations, and he could find someone truly devoted to him. Yet, Cao Xun refused to let go, determined to fight for at least two more years.
Yunzhu was grateful for his role in getting rid of the little emperor, so she agreed to give him that time. Still, deep down, she knew the spark between them was long gone. She had been indifferent to him during their first year of marriage, and now, though she respected his abilities, she was also waryâa complex mix of admiration and apprehension.
*
After Yunzhu returned from her parentsâ place, Sun Yurong wasted no time and paid a visit to Dingguoâs mansion the very next day.
It had been a whole year since they last saw each other. The months after the new year had been a whirlwind for Yunzhu, leaving her caught up in one concern after another, keeping her away from any social gatherings. But now, with all the worries behind her, she felt like a fresh breath of air. The storm had passed, and the skies were clear. As she greeted Sun Yurong, there was an undeniable sense of ease, her spirit lifted and free.
In the grand hall, Yunzhu caught sight of Sun Yurongâstrangely composed and elegant, for someone whose personality was far from conventional. Yurong approached her with the grace of a refined lady, her lips curving into a radiant smile.
Could it be that after months as the stewardâs wife, Yurong had finally toned down?
As they drew near, Yunzhu couldnât help herself. âWhatâs happened to you?â she asked, an amused curiosity in her voice. âYou seem⦠different.â
Sun Yurongâs cheeks flushed, and her maidâstanding just behind herâgiggled, replying with a playful tone, âMy lady, you donât know? Our master is most pleased.â
Yurong shot a quick, playful look at the maid before turning back to Yunzhu, linking arms with her. She lowered her voice, her words carrying a whisper of secret excitement. âI only found out I was pregnant at the end of the year. And before I could tell you, the whole palace blew up in chaos.â
At first, Yunzhu was elated for her friend, but soon, that joy turned to concern. âLucky you came today. If it were just a few weeks later, you wouldnât have been able to tell me.â
Sun Yurong let out a small sigh of relief, her shoulders relaxing. âYou have no idea,â she said, eyes sparkling. âIâve been dying to tell you about the baby, but I didnât want you to think I was showing offâ¦â
But the urge to confide in her closest friend was too powerful. Despite the earlier teasing from her maid, Yurongâs mood remained high.
Yunzhu fell silent for a moment, eyes flickering with something sharp before she finally spoke. âIf I really am carrying a precious baby, I canât blame you for being a little envious.â
But if Yunzhu had hoped for some kind of jealousy over the pregnancy, she was mistaken. The truth was, Yunzhu wasnât in the slightest bit eager for such news. In the early days of her marriage, she hadnât been in any rush to have children. After the late emperorâs passing, her focus had been entirely on her familyâs well-being. A pregnancy back then wouldâve only added more complications to her life.
"They say pregnancy usually leads to weight gain, but you seem to have shed some," Yunzhu remarked with a sharp, assessing glance at Sun Yurong, her eyes tracing the changes in her friend's body as she led her toward the pavilion.
Sun Yurongâs face soured at the mention. "Don't even bring it up. I was miserable through Februaryânausea nonstop, even water made me sick. It wasnât until March that my appetite kicked in again. Trust me, if youâd seen me then... people wouldâve been horrified."
Yunzhu gently squeezed her wrist, feeling just bone under her fingers where there used to be soft flesh. She frowned. "You used to be fuller... maybe a little extra weight wouldnât hurt."
It was no secret the Sun family had a tendency toward heavier builds. Even as a young woman, Sun Yurong had carried more weight than most, but once she realized her own allure, sheâd made an effort to control her eating. Yet, no matter how hard she tried, she was still among the more substantial women in the capital.
Yunzhu, on the other hand, with her lush curves and commanding height, always seemed to have the perfect balance. Sun Yurong had often envied her for that, but now was hardly the time for idle jealousy.
"Why come all the way out here yourself when you're barely two months along? You couldâve sent a maid to fetch me," Yunzhu scolded gently as Sun Yurong settled herself onto the couch. She recalled that early pregnancy required utmost care, and she couldnât imagine why her friend would be so careless.
Sun Yurong gave a soft, teasing smile. "Iâm not so fragile. Besides, you're of much higher standing than me. How could I, a mere official's wife, ask you to come running just for me?"
The atmosphere shifted as the topic of Yunzhuâs family came up, though neither of them was eager to speak of it. The Li family had endured a hard time under Emperor Qianxingâs reign, with rumors of the Duke of Ningguo losing his title, a reality Yunzhu never openly spoke about, but it was clear from the sadness in her eyes that it weighed heavily on her. Sun Yurong, too, noticed the hidden sorrow, but kept her mouth shut, feeling powerless to offer any real comfort.
The arrival of the new emperor in Beijing hinted at a shift of power, and with that, the Sun familyâs fortunes seemed poised for a change. If the new emperor managed to stay on the throne long enough, Yunzhuâs family might thrive again, but Sun Yurong knew all too well that power was always precarious, no matter how stable it seemed.
Yunzhu seemed to dismiss the congratulatory jests with a smile, but inside, she knew the future would not be without its challenges. The political landscape was shifting rapidly, and though the new emperor might bring a temporary reprieve, the risks were always looming. The specter of their predecessorsâ fates never truly left the minds of those in power.
She looked at Sun Yurong with sharp, calculating eyes, quietly reminding her that the present was all they could truly manage.
Future uncertainties? They could wait.
*
After her lunch, Sun Yurong was ready to leave, and as the warm afternoon sun streamed through the room, Yunzhu stretched out on the couch in the second room, letting herself unwind and rest. The pillows around her were carefully arranged to block the sunâs rays from her lower body, creating the perfect cozy, peaceful vibe.
As she lay there, the gentle pull of sleep began to take over, but a fleeting thought of Sun Yurongâs sweet smile and words about becoming a mother stirred her. That thought lingered, and Yunzhu instinctively ran her hand over her stomach.
Sun Yurongâs usual calm and reserved manner had softened into a more nurturing warmth, something that came with the natural tenderness of impending motherhood. It was almost magnetic, that maternal energy.
Yunzhuâs thoughts, however, were far from simple. She was caught up in a whirlwind of emotions, torn between the urge to confess her love for Cao Xun and the fear of rejection. She imagined their future two years from now, in a world without the complication of a childâeverything seemed so much easier, a simple path to parting ways, no hard feelings. But with a baby? That was a whole different story. If she and Cao Xun were already in love, the child would be a natural and joyous part of their future, a perfect little family. But what if he didnât feel the same way? What if he saw her confession as an imposition? What if she was just fooling herself, believing he could ever reciprocate those feelings?
Yunzhu didnât want to risk her happiness for a child she wasnât sure would bring the kind of love she wanted. But the idea of separating from Cao Xun while keeping the babyâshe couldnât help but feel like sheâd be seen as selfish, as though abandoning him with only the child between them. Even if he stayed for the sake of the baby, what kind of relationship would that be? A cold, emotionless existence. He might not leave her, but that spark between them would die, replaced by the emptiness of obligation.
The weight of these thoughts pressed heavily on Yunzhuâs chest, stirring a tumult of emotions she wasnât sure how to navigate.
Later, as dusk settled in, the air thick with the smell of smoke rising from the nearby chimneys, Cao Xun returned from the Governorâs Mansion. Though the day had worn on, the sky still held onto its golden glow.
He leaned against the doorway and casually asked, âHow about a walk in the garden? Itâs been a while since weâve had a moment to ourselves. This spring has kept us indoors far too long.â
Their noble statusâtheir very bloodline tied to the Emperorâmeant they had to keep a low profile, honoring their late ancestors. But the need for a little escape from the weight of expectation lingered in Cao Xunâs voice.
Yunzhu, caught in the delicate dance of uncertainty, nodded in quiet agreement.
As the last days of March basked in golden sunlight, the peach blossoms burst to lifeâdelicate pink petals trembling against their tender, slender stems. Cao Xun, with meticulous care, selected a small branch adorned with two exquisite blooms and wove it effortlessly into Yunzhuâs dark, silken hair.
Yunzhu, sensing his gaze, lifted her eyes, catching his as he took a step back to admire her. The soft peach blossoms nestled in her lustrous tresses were a picture of elegance. But for Cao Xun, the sight before him wasnât simply lovelyâit was arresting.
After a deliberate pause, his deep voice broke the quiet. âEven the finest peach blossom canât rival your beauty.â
Yunzhuâs lips curled into a subtle yet teasing smile as she reached up, her fingertips brushing the flowers. âThen find me something worthy of me,â she murmured, her tone coy yet commanding. She began to remove the blossoms, unimpressed by their inadequacy.
Before she could finish, his hand caught hers, firm yet gentle. Nearby, the grove of peach trees stood tall and wild, their blooming branches tangling with the breeze. Cao Xun guided her beneath the ancient giant of the grove, its gnarled trunk radiating strength, its blossoms bold against the darkening sky.
Without a word, he gripped her slender waist and lifted her effortlessly. Startled, Yunzhu found herself perched where the thick, sinewy branch met the sturdy trunk. Her legs dangled mid-air as she clung instinctively to the tree, her balance precarious. A flash of irritation danced in her gaze as she looked down at him. âPut me down,â she said, her voice sharp but softened by the blush on her cheeks.
Cao Xunâs lips curved into a slow, knowing smile as his eyes roamed over herâa vision of feminine beauty framed by the vivid peach blossoms. âPerfect,â he murmured, the words rich with a manâs unfiltered admiration.
Yunzhu frowned, the waning sunlight painting her in shades of pink and gold. âItâs getting dark. Let me down now,â she muttered, her tone dripping with annoyance.
Cao Xun moved closer, his presence consuming her as he leaned in. His voice lowered, intimate, and unyielding. âNot until you embrace me.â
Her resistance faltered. With no alternative, she looped her arms around his neck, her breath hitching as their closeness deepened. His fingers lingered at her waist, his lips brushing her ear in a gesture that sent shivers down her spine. Whatever protests sheâd held onto melted as her resolve crumbled beneath his touch.
When night finally cloaked the grove, Cao Xun carried her back to the main courtyard, her body warm and pliant against his. His steps were unhurried, his mood unapologetically buoyant, even though their plans for a grander escape were now irrelevant. For him, tonight was enough.
Yet, something in Yunzhuâs expression betrayed her lingering unease. He caught it instantly, his sharp gaze softening. He paused, lowering his head to press a tender kiss to her cheek. âWhatâs wrong? Are you still upset?â he asked, his voice quiet but edged with concern.
For a long moment, she said nothing, her words trapped behind a veil of hesitation. Finally, in a whisper so soft it almost vanished into the night air, she admitted, âI donât want children⦠not for at least two years.â
Her confession hung between them like a fragile thread. Cao Xunâs breath hitched, the silence stretching into something heavy and unspoken.
Instinctively, Yunzhu slid her hands from his waist, bracing herself for whatever might come next. She closed her eyes, shielding herself from the storm she anticipated.
But instead of anger, there was only stillness. Cao Xun sat down, his back broad and unmoving, his gaze fixed on the distance. Yunzhu opened her eyes, stealing a glance at him, uncertain of the emotions etched into his face. The only thing she could read was his silenceâa silence that felt deeper than words.
Pulling the covers up around her like a fragile shield, she fixed him with a gaze that was equal parts vulnerable and unyielding. Her voice was low, sultry, and deliberate as she tried to unravel her tangled feelings. "You've been good to me, Cao Xun. Better than I probably deserve. But..." she hesitated, inhaling sharply. "I donât know where I stand with you yet. I need timeâtime for us to truly figure out what we are, what we can be. If we donât have a child right now, it buys us two years to see if we can fall in love the way people should. And if we canât?" Her voice dropped, sharper now, assertive. "Then why should you throw your life away for a child born of uncertainty? Donât you see it? Donât you agree?"
Cao Xun said nothing, his silence heavier than any words.
She pushed herself up slightly, settling against the warmth of his back, using it to steady the storm within her. Her voice softened, rippling with an almost coaxing allure. "Iâm not saying no. I just need to waitâdelay it. Thatâs all I want. Everything else between us? Thatâs not in question. Iâm content as I am, truly. My Bizi soup is enough for now."
He let out a slow, measured sigh, the kind of sound that lingered in the air and seeped into her skin, taut with unspoken meaning. She watched as his shoulders tensed, emotions rippling just below the surface.
Sensing the shift, she instinctively retreated, pulling the quilt tighter like a flimsy shield of fabric against him. The silence expanded, thick and charged, before he finally turned to face her. His eyesâdark, unwaveringâlocked onto hers, holding her still. "You donât need the Bizi soup," he said, his voice low and edged with intent. "Iâll take care of it another way."
The words caught her off-guard, leaving her momentarily breathless. Her usual bravado faltered. "Do you truly want a child?" she whispered, hesitant, uncertain. She hadnât thought it mattered to him. Heâd never given her any reason to believe otherwise.
But Cao Xunâs gaze softened, the steel in his expression giving way to something far more rawâyearning mixed with something heavier, something that made her chest tighten. "Yes," he said simply, his voice carrying all the weight of his conviction.
Her teeth caught her lower lip, her heart warring against itself as she stared at him. A long moment stretched before she murmured, almost to herself, "Maybe... maybe thereâs peace to be found separately in all this?"
His response was maddeningâa crooked, amused smile. "Yunzhu, anger doesnât suit you. It creases your brow. And me? Iâm no young fool anymore. If you keep this up, Iâll be nothing but a wrinkled old man before youâve even decided what to do with me. Or is that your plan? To earn a widowâs title early?"
She blinked, caught somewhere between indignation and a flush that climbed mercilessly up her neck. "Youâre insufferable," she muttered, but the blush gave her away.
That smile of his deepened, turning into something sharper, something predatory. He moved closer, fingers curling around the edge of the quilt to gently peel it away. Before she could protest, his arms were around herâfirm, warm, a wordless promise wrapped in the strength of his embrace.
Honestyâthat was their constant, the fire that kept their bond unbreakable.
Yunzhu tried to turn her face away, but his forehead found hers, the weight of his longing pouring into her, leaving her defenseless. "I want a child," he murmured, his voice husky, low enough to make her pulse skitter. "But I want more than that. I want a child youâll give me willingly, because youâre mine... because Iâve earned that part of you."
His hand traced a slow path up her back, his touch lingering just long enough to melt her resistance. "Thereâs no hurry, Yunzhu," he whispered, each word a caress. "First, let me win you completelyâyour trust, your love, every part of you. Then, together, weâll take on whatever the future brings. Hand in hand. No doubts."
Yunzhu closed her eyes, her resolve crumbling under the heat of his voice, the steady rhythm of his touch. Against all reason, she let herself sink into the moment, into himârealizing that maybe, just maybe, she didnât mind being conquered after all.