Chapter 139: Bitter Taste

~A werewolf.~

That was the single thought that consumed Julian’s mind, a relentless obsession that held him captive in his own solitude.

His mind was a whirlpool of lost and elusive memories that had been plaguing him since he woke up with no recollection of his past.

He was struggling to understand himself, his emotions, actions, and thoughts all shrouded in a fog of uncertainty. Yet, Maya seemed to see right through him without even trying.

~How did she know this version of me so well?~

And ~why~ was he still on the cot?

A chuckle escaped Julian’s lips as he watched her sleep.

Maya had let him back into their shared space, but her lingering resentment was evident in her strict banishment of him from her bed.

There was a mating bite on her neck. On his.

But there was no room for him in her bed.

If Julian were to guess, he’d say her anger was still simmering. He understood her perspective, even though he believed his reasons were justified.

The inexplicable force that pulled him towards her, compelling him to put her happiness before his own, had grown stronger.

Now, he couldn’t protect her from the pain.

He couldn’t ensure her survival. Not in the way he had hoped. All Julian had left was to try to remember. He had to come up with a better plan than before.

His only hope was in his pursuit of memory, in his desperate search for a better plan. Unfortunately, Willow had been of little help, having little knowledge herself.

All he had was his own flawed mind.

Maya’s theory made sense, aligning with the haunting encounters, the eerie silence during the full moon, and the inexplicable resilience that had kept him alive.

~So if Maya was right…~

Time was slipping away, and he didn’t have the means to prepare properly.

Ironically, being a werewolf could be beneficial when it shouldn’t be—a temporary loss of weapons, reduced intellect, and physical weakness.

A hunter would never willingly embrace their beastly side, instead trying to bury and suppress it as if trying to distance themselves from a dormant primal nature.

Julian could only imagine the hunter had spent ~years~ denying the truth about himself.

Had he tried to kill him in the past? Maybe it hadn’t been enough…or was that how he ended up like this?

He couldn’t fucking remember. Apart from his sister’s screams, he didn’t remember anything from the night his family was killed.

He yearned to remember the taste of his enemy’s blood, the raw sensation of tearing flesh, but his efforts were in vain.

He lay there in the middle of the night, surrounded by Maya’s soft snores, trying to piece together the fragments of his broken existence.

His inability to act amplified the fierce unrest of the beast within. His wolf was crying out for revenge, thirsting for blood.

He was an alpha, obligated to protect his mate, and if he couldn’t save her life or shield her from pain, what kind of leader was he? What kind of mate was he?

He had nothing but her.

He knew nothing but ~her~.

In this abyss of fragmented memories, Maya was his only anchor.

She was the light through which he saw the world, her scent lingering in his senses, the rhythm of her breath pulsing in his veins, the color of her eyes changing with her every mood.

She was his entire worth, his only comfort.

And she kind of hated his guts right now.

~Which he loved~.

Could he dare to believe he was a good man? Could he hope that if his memories returned, he could keep her?

~He hoped so~.

Because all he could do was hope, pray, and wait for the full moon. And there was nothing he hated more than ~waiting~.

But he had to. He had no choice.

***

“So,” Olivia began.

“What’s up?” Maya asked.

“Nothing.”

Maya sighed, growing impatient with Olivia’s evasiveness. She wasn’t in the mood for roundabout conversations right now.

“Olivia, you said ‘so.’ I don’t have time for games. Just spit it out, please.”

At least Olivia was finally talking. Maya had felt her presence like a constant shadow since she left the room.

“It’s nothing. I mean, it’s just…Maya, you’re mated! I never thought… I didn’t…”

“Yeah, well, it happened. It’s done,” Maya cut her off, not wanting to go over the details or justify herself.

“That’s it?” Olivia’s voice wavered with a mix of shock and worry.

“What else do you want me to say?”

“You’ll have to leave.”

“Olivia, we saw this coming,” she said, her head tilting slightly. “Maybe not from the start, but definitely since we discovered Mr. Dumbass is an Alpha.”

They’d had this discussion before. It seemed pointless to revisit it.

Maybe it was hard for Olivia to swallow, but it wasn’t a surprise to Maya. She’d move forward.

Did it feel more tangible now, magnified a thousand times? Sure. Was it happening earlier than anticipated? Possibly.

Maya hadn’t known what to expect from Julian, from their connection, from their future. But the time for speculation was over.

She wouldn’t wallow in regrets or hypotheticals. They never did anyone any good.

“Liv, I don’t want to discuss this, okay? And I don’t understand why you’re wasting energy being upset. For all we know, we might not even make it through the next few days.”

“Really, Maya?”

Maya just shrugged. “What do you want me to say? It is what it is. Julian and his pack lured the hunter here, and maybe I did too when I dragged his nearly dead ass here.

“Well, there’s nothing we can do about it now.”

Did Maya want to die? No. Was she fervently hoping she was right about the hunter being a werewolf? Absolutely. Because if he wasn’t, they were out of options.

He’d shot her and almost killed her. And she had a hunch he hadn’t finished her off because he had a use for her. He could have ended her right then and there.

Maya had felt powerless, unable to defend herself, unable to retaliate.

That wasn’t who she was.

She wasn’t weak.

Was she the first to rush into battle? No.

But she wouldn’t let a prejudiced hunter be her downfall. She hadn’t survived Olivia’s psycho’s insanity just to die at the hands of another maniac.

No, she would survive this.

“The one thing I can do,” Maya started, turning to face Olivia, “is tell you to stay here.”

“What?”

“Yes, I know you can defend yourself and all that,” Maya dismissed her, “but you’ll only be a distraction.”

“A distraction?”

Maya resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “Liv, you belong to Alex. If you’re out there, he’ll be worried about you.

“He’ll prioritize you instead of focusing on the fight. He’ll think about Leo. It’s better for everyone if you stay here, safe with your son.”

Maya met Olivia’s gaze and saw the impact of her words, causing Olivia’s shoulders to slump.

Maya didn’t mean to be harsh or dismissive. It was just the grim reality they were facing.

Having Olivia out there would only distract Alex, and they couldn’t afford any diversions, especially given the tense situation they were about to face.

“I want to help,” Olivia insisted.

“And you will help by staying here and protecting your kid. I can’t have Alex even more distracted…not now,” Maya responded, her voice laced with a blend of irritation and worry.

Life or death. That was the crux of it, wasn’t it? Maya wished she could fool herself into thinking it was something else, but she couldn’t.

She’d seen the aftermath of previous encounters with the hunter—fields strewn with dead bodies, everything soaked in blood. If the hunter won, no one would be spared.

And if anyone managed to escape, Maya expected the hunter to chase them relentlessly.

“What do you mean, ‘already’?” Olivia pushed, her voice soft but persistent.

“Look, if everything goes wrong…” Maya’s annoyance was clear as she threw her head back in frustration.

“If it all goes to shit, Alex will make sure you get out. Above anything else,” she conceded with a weak shrug. “He might even try to save me out there.”

“Oh,” Olivia replied, understanding and realization dawning in her voice.

Maya hadn’t felt the need to spell it out, but the truth was inescapable. Regardless of the bond between Julian and Maya, Julian would never be a top priority for Alex.

“So what happens then?” Olivia’s voice dropped to a whisper as she continued.

“What do you mean?” Maya’s voice faltered, a hint of uncertainty crossing her face.

“What happens if we win, if we all survive…but Julian doesn’t?” Olivia’s voice faded, almost disappearing into a whisper.

Maya hadn’t anticipated this outcome. Even when she’d told Olivia she didn’t think Alex would rescue Julian, she’d seen it as a clear-cut situation—either they all survived, or they all perished.

But now, confronted with the chance that they could all live while Julian died, a growl rumbled deep within Maya’s chest.

Mate.

Julian could die, and be lost to her forever, while she lived on.

They’d only been mated for a week, barely beginning to explore their bond. Would her heart shatter anyway? It would end the uncertainty.

She would have discovered and lost her mate within a single month. But at least she’d know.

So why didn’t that thought bring her comfort? Why did it feel like it was tearing her apart from the inside?

Why did she feel like she was choking, even though her lungs were full of air and her skin was warmed by her surroundings?

“Then he dies,” Maya finally said, her voice choked.

“Maya…”

“Don’t,” Maya cut in, holding up a finger at her friend. “There’s no point in dwelling on this, Liv. What do you expect me to do?

“I can’t change anything. I can’t do anything differently. It is what it is and nothing more. I can’t do anything else. I can’t be anything else.”

She was already doing all she could.

~Wasn’t she~?