twenty nine
"YOU HAVE TO STOP DOING THIS, MAX" Amara said in hushed whispers, arms tightly holding on to her little brother's shoulders. "You can't keep doing this."
The five year old's eyes were teary as he listened to his older sister. "I'm sowwy."
Olivia sat on the edge of the bed where her younger self's sleeping form lay on her stomach, not on her back, because her back is littered with bruises and gushes.
Amara's eyes softened. "I know you're young, Max, and you should be playing but you have to understand. I can't watch over you guys forever. I'm leaving for Hogwarts in a few days and you'll be left here with Samuel and Olivia."
"I undewstand," Maxwell muttered.
He had developed his speech late. It wasn't until he was eight that his words started to become clearer, unlike Olivia, who had begun talking almost perfectly at the mere age of four. It was something their parents loved to hold over his head.
"You got Olivia in trouble today," Amara explained softly, but slowly, to make sure Maxwell understood. "You guys have to protect each other, not be the reason the other got hurt, do you understand?"
The five year old boy nodded and Olivia watched them intently, watched the desperation and worry in Amara's eyes, desperation that he understood what it meant to make mistakes in this family and worry of what would happen to her siblings with her gone.
But what stuck with Olivia was the look in Maxwell's. He was five. He was too young yet his eyes held a determination in them, held knowledge no five year old should know. He was too young and yet he was forced to grow up too quickly, become his sister's protector.
The memory changed then and before Olivia could process what was happening, she's in the manor's ballroom, surrounded by people fake laughing and fake smiling all the while hating those they call friends. This time, it's a ten year old Maxwell in front of her and in front of him stood nine year old Regulus Black.
Olivia remembers it to be a Christmas gala and if she looked, she's sure she can find her younger self in a corner with Samuel, whom she used to always tail in these kinds of things. Mostly because Samuel always preferred the quiet and so does Olivia. But she didn't bother looking for herself, instead she focussed on the two little boys in front of her, wide grins on their faces.
"What house do you think you'll be?" Regulus asked shyly, dark hair swept back elegantly and black suit fitting his body like a glove.
"Definitely slytherin!" Maxwell replied enthusiastically, a bright smile on his face. He too had been styled by his parents to look presentable. His own hair had been gelled to the side and though his suit is definitely more wrinkled than Regulus', it obviously cost a fortune.
"Me too!" Regulus says excitedly, already starting to shake off his shyness.
Olivia couldn't help but smile at the two. She instantly realized why Maxwell was showing her this certain memory. The innocence she had been looking for in her twin brother's eyes was present now, that genuine happiness and childlike innocence.
Regulus brought him back to the childhood he missed. Olivia quickly realized that perhaps it's only Regulus Black that truly understood who Maxwell Kinsley is. With him, Maxwell could be himself. Olivia knew that not even she gets that privilege. Maxwell thinks of himself as Olivia's protector, her older brother. He doesn't allow himself to be weak in front of her.
And Olivia can't help but hate herself a little for it.
"My older brother wants to be in Gryffindor, though," Regulus says and the sudden sadness in his face at the reminder is apparent. "He's going next year like you."
Olivia can see now just how deep the wounds of the brothers' relationship is. Sirius to Regulus was Maxwell to Olivia, but at least Maxwell had not purposely abandoned her, chosen someone else over her.
Maxwell, obviously seeing how the information saddened the younger boy, made his smile bigger. "My twin sister wants to be in Ravenclaw so I guess it'll just be you and me in Slytherin then."
"Yeah, I guess it's just you and me."
The bright smile on the little boys' face told Olivia all she needed to know.
The memory changed again after that and Olivia finds herself getting sucked into a new one. When she opens her eyes again, she's back in Hogwarts, in her Slytherin dormitory and one look at the school books on her bedside table tells her that it's their second year.
She sat on the chair where she often threw her discarded clothes as, smiling as she saw her fourteen year old self laying on the bed with Maxwell beside her, their heads huddled together as they excitedly examined the muggle book they had bought from Hogsmead.
It was their game. They bought books with no covers and read it together so they could guess the plot. It was a tradition they both loved.
"Do you think it'll be another romance?" Maxwell asked with a slight scoff.
"Hey, the last one was good," Olivia defended.
Maxwell rolled his eyes. "They ran away."
"Yeah, to give themselves a chance at a happy ending," Olivia says. "The evil guy would have killed them if they hadn't."
"So he killed their family, they're cowards and selfish," Maxwell argues. "I would never have left you for some guy."
It was their game. They bought books with no covers and read it together so they could guess the plot. It was a tradition they both loved.
This memory was particularly short and Olivia didn't understand why Maxwell showed it to her. Perhaps a reminder of his love for her, nonetheless, Olivia was grateful as she moved to the next one.
Olivia knew they were in their fifth year as soon as she saw Maxwell. His hair was longer than their parents would ever allow, but he's grown out of his baby fats and his voice had turned deeper with a jawline that most women in Hogwarts loved to gush about.
This was the Maxwell she remembered. The only thing Maxwell will ever be. Sixteen and handsome but oh so brave.
"Don't you think you should tell Olivia," Regulus suggested as he lazily flipped through the book he had on his lap. "I mean, it's her father too."
Maxwell's eyebrows furrowed at the suggestion. "No. Not until I find out who this guy is. I have a bad feeling about him."
"Three weeks ago you were telling me about how excited you are to meet him and have a real father."
"Exactly," Maxwell says. "It's been three weeks and we've read every book in this bloody library and can't find a trace of his name. I will not set up my sister for disappointment."
Regulus knew Maxwell was starting to lose hope and so he softly ran his hand through the older boy's hair, a soft smile reserved only for Maxwell appearing. "Maybe he's a muggle?"
"No. I doubt Martin Kinsley would have accepted us if we're spawn of a mudblood," the word tasted bitter on his tongue. He hated that word. He hated how he was told to hate it and to turn that hate to violence. "It's almost as if Martin was scared of him."
Regulus let out a sigh, pulling his hand back from Maxwell's hair and using it to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Whoever he is, he's been erased from history. Hogwarts history anyway."
And then the memory was changing again, this time she found herself in a place she's far too familiar with, one she's blocked out of her memory. She stood in a room, marble under her feet and gold on the walls, but beautiful stones and gems was not the only thing covering the walls. It's also coated with blood and the screams of the dead echoes in her ear.
She's in Kinsley Manor's dungeons and standing a few feet away from her is her brother facing an unfamiliar man with pale skin and chocolate hair, his cloudy grey eyes watching the boy's in front of him.
Olivia walked over to them, watching curiously as the man, no older than eighteen, held up his wand, writing "Tom Marvolo Riddle" in flickering lights pulsing with electricity.
Together, Olivia and Maxwell watched as the wizard waved his wand once more, causing the words to move and form new ones.
The changing of the words came with the change of the man. As the letters floated above them, finding their place, the man began to morph into something else, his skin becoming paler and grey eyes becoming red.
Olivia stepped back in shock as she looked into the snake-like eyes, heart beating out of her chest at what the words came to be.
"I am Lord Voldemort."
And when he spoke, Olivia felt her skin crawl as she leaned against the wall; "hello, my child."
Olivia's head is spinning as she moves to the next memory. She feels herself drop to her knees from the weight of the revelation. A hand comes to her mouth as she stops herself from vomiting and Olivia suddenly regrets going through this.
Regulus was right. Sometimes the truth isn't what we want to be. How do you deal with being the daughter of a monster? How do you continue living your life knowing the innocent lives lost? How does one just accept that? How was she supposed to live with that?
Now Olivia wishes nothing but to be able to turn back time, to return to not knowing. If her father is a monster, doesn't that make her one too? Olivia remembers the children in the Orphanage and the snakes, and she realizes that perhaps she's worse. What's more dangerous than a monster who doesn't realize that she's one?
She doesn't have time to fully process the information as she landed on the next memory. In this one, her brother sat on a couch in front of Dumbledore, knees hugged to his chest and eyes puffy and Olivia can see that this was only a few days after his encounter with Voldemort and she can't help but hate herself for not realizing his pain.
"There's a prophecy," Dumbledore said slowly, making sure the young in front of him understood. "Talking of an heir born as the final month dies."
"What does that have to do with me?"
"Given the recent revelations of your parentage, I believe it talks of either you or your sister."
Maxwell finally lifted his head to meet the old man's eyes, his own becoming harder as he sneered. "Leave Olivia out of this. She doesn't know anything."
Dumbledore's face softened at the child's protectiveness. Maxwell Kinsley had just turned sixteen and suddenly, the world was being placed on his shoulders. "I understand."
Maxwell placed his head back on his knees and Olivia slowly walked towards the couch, taking a seat beside her brother. She can't help but reach out in an attempt to touch him but he feels like smoke under her skin.
"What does the prophecy say?" Maxwell asks.
Dumbledore watched him, as if debating whether to tell him or not. Eventually, he stood up, walking over to a shelf that held a locked rust colored box. With a flick of his wrist, the box opened, revealing what looked to be an orb with swirling dark blue mist inside it. Olivia recognized it to be a prophecy record.
"This was given to me by the head of the department of mysteries as he saw your father's name in it along with yours and your sister's," Dumbledore began to explain as he walked back to where the young boy sat.
"Why would the head of the Department of Mysteries give it to you?" Maxwell asked.
"Because, Mr. Kinsley, Mullins Perkins is part of the Order of the Phoenix," was all the old man said as he placed the orb in front of Maxwell.
Maxwell reached to touch the orb and suddenly it glowed to light, the dark blue mist becoming lighter and swirling faster as a hoarse voice was heard.
"An heir born as the final month dies
from his flesh and bones.
Two halves of a whole,
together a power unlike any other.
A lover seeking vengeance,
A mother protecting her own,
The dark lord's savior or his doom."
And then the memory changed again and Olivia found herself being thrust into the Slytherin's boys dormitory with Maxwell and Regulus arguing in hushed whispers.
"He needs a spy, Reg, they need someone on the inside."
"It's too dangerous!" Regulus argued. "If he finds out, he'll kill you!"
"I'm his son," Maxwell tries to escape. "I was born for this job."
"As if that'll stop him!" Regulus was angry now. Angry at the fact that Maxwell is willingly putting himself in a position that can possibly be the reason of his death.
"It'll give me an advantage," Maxwell explained. "He's much more inclined to notice me, bring me up his ranks."
"You don't have to do this, Max." Regulus was begging now, reaching over to touch him.
Maxwell made sure to meet his eyes as he say the next words. "If I don't then who will?"
Then it was all changing again and Olivia feels her herself getting lightheaded as it doesn't stop spinning, only showing glimpses of memories before it goes to the next one.
"I offer you my unyielding loyalty, father," Maxwell kneels of front of the dark lord, eyes downcast.
And then it was moving again to show Maxwell hugging Amara, handing her his journal, the same one she had given Olivia.
"Give this to her when the time's right," Maxwell instructed.
Then it was changing, showing Maxwell in front of a mirror wearing a death eater outfit, his hand clasped around a locket and Olivia realized it was the one Regulus always wore.
"An heirloom," said a cold voice behind him, showing Voldemort himself with pale skin and red eyes. "The blood of Salazar Slytherin runs in our veins."
Then it was changing again, this time showing Maxwell in front of Dumbledore.
"Horcruxes," Maxwell says, a certain edge in his voice. "He collects these artifacts and use them to store a part of his soul. We need to find them all on order to kill him."
Before Olivia can process the new revation, everything was spinning again and this time she found herself to what she recognized to be the Malfoy Manor, showing Maxwell releasing the prisoners from the dungeons.
That was until the door opened, revealing Bellatrix Lestrange. Her eyes narrowed as she realized what he had been doing.
"Traitor!" She cried out.
"Stupefy!" was the last thing she heard before it was all moving again.
Finally, it stopped spinning and she was thrown in a room with Regulus and Maxwell, the two were obviouslh arguing again if the look in Regulus face said anything.
"I told you this would happen!" Regulus screamed, face red from anger but worry evident in his stormy grey eyes.
"They believe you're my accomplice," Maxwell tells him, ignoring his lover's anger.
Regulus runs a hand through his hair in frustration. "I am your accomplice, Maxwell."
"We have to clear your name."
Regulus rolls his eyes. "How do you suppose we do that?"
The room was suddenly enveloped in silenced as Olivia walked over to his brother, realizing the look on his face. She knew then that he has a plan, but she doubted it was something Regulus would approve of.
"You have to kill me," he whispered so quietly Regulus almlst didn't catch it.
The Black boy laughed then. The thought of himself ever causing Maxwell Kinsley harm was simply a laughable concept to him.
But then he realized that Maxwell was laughing along and all amusement left his face. "What the hell are you talking about?"
Maxwell met his eyes. "They have to be able to trace it back to your wand, Reg. It's the only way they'll accept you back."
"I'm not going to kill you, Maxwell!" Regulus roared, his anger reappearing. "Have you lost your fucking mind?"
Maxwell's face softened as he walked over to Regulus, enveloping the boy in his arms. "You have to."
As if it was second nature, Regulus own arms wrapped around the older boy's, his face burying itself in Maxwell's hair. "No. There are other ways."
Maxwell shook his head. "You know there's not, Reg. They would never let me go. They'll keep hunting me and they'll kill me. I want to do in my own terms, with you."
Tears started spilling from Regulus eyes then and his arms tightened around the boy. "No, Max. No. I won't do it."
"Do it for me."
Regulus pushed him away, his entire body shaking. "Do you even understand what you're asking from me?! How would you feel if it's the other way around?!"
Maxwell smiled sadly as he reached ul to cup Regulus' face. "I would rather die. It's either they kill us both or you kill me and continue on."
Regulus sunk to his knees, his body no longer able to hold his weight as heartbreaking sobs rocked his entire body. "You're so selfish. Do you even understand what you're asking from me?"
Olivia's entire body was shaking with Regulus' and she can't help but pity the boy. She imagined James. James with his bright smile and even brighter laugh. James and his hazel eyes and heart of gold. James, her beautiful James. She couldn't imagine herself ever turning her wand at him, couldn't even bear the thought of it with causing a burn in her chest.
"Because you're the only one I trust," Maxwell said, leaning in front of him. "Because I want to die in your arms."
Regulus defiantly shook his head. "Don't make me do this, Max. Please don't. You're selfish!"
Tears then started falling from Maxwell's eyes as he held the broken boy in his arms. "I am. I am selfish because I'd rather die than live in a world without you. I have to go first, Reg. I wouldn't be able to survive without you."
"And you think I can?!" Regulus screamed, his voice shaking.
Maxwell tells him. "You're stronger than me. You'll live on."
Regulus shook his head as he desperately clutched Maxwell's clothes, afraid to let go. "No. No, please. I can't!"
Maxwell smiled sadly as he connected their lils, making sure to savor every moment as their tears mixed together, both their hearts breaking into a million pieces. Life had caught up to them and it's time to say goodbye.
"I love you, lion boy," Regulus whispered softly against his lips.
Maxwell shut his eyes tight as tears fell to his cheeks. "I love you, my beautiful broken boy."
And with Olivia's entire body shaking, the memory changed. In front of her is herself, younger and a little less broken, beside her is Maxwell, his eyes a little duller than hers and his face a little more tired.
They're on the astronomy tower, laying on their backs as they watched the nightsky full of bright stars in awe. With a pained heart, Olivia realized this was the last time she ever saw her brother alive.
"You know I love you, right?" Maxwell said out of nowhere, breaking the comfortbale silence they were enveloped in.
Olivia turned to him with confusion. "Of course I do. Why do you ask?"
Maxwell smiled at her, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. "You're the most important person in my life. You're my soulmate."
"And you're mine, Max."
"They say the love of your life is some person you meet, but you're the love of mine, Liv." Maxwell says, his voice becoming shaky. "I would never love anyone as much as I love you,"
Olivia didn't realize it then, but he had been saying goodbye. He knew what's going to happen next and he had accepted it.
"What's going on, Max?" Olivia asked, obviously starting to worry. "Is something wrong?"
Maxwell shook his head, smiling at her. "No, nothing's wrong, Livvy. I just want you to know that I'd do anything to keep you safe, even if it cost me my life."
Olivia realizes then that he had done just that. He had protected her till his very last breath.
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
I was literally crying as I
wrote this fbsksbs
I wasn't going to update yet
but we REACHED 300K
VIEWS AND 15K LIKES???
YOU GUYS ARE HONESTLY
AMAZING. THANK YOU SO
MUCH.
My boyfriend says hi and that he
hopes you "fucking enjoyed this"
bc I ignored him the entire facetime
since I was writing and he's being
petty.