Fiona
Seven weeks.
That's how long it took for me to get an answer on where in the hell they'd taken Kruk. Not even Ozog, in all of his fury could get an answer from the constable or his men.
Until now.
Now, when it was too late for any of us to save him.
The Mines of Gamora.
A place that nobody technically knew the location of except the people who lived and worked there. Not even the prisoners knew where they were. Rumor has it, they were transported in a solid metal box with a bag over their head for the entire trip. No matter how long it took, whether it was one day or a hundred, they wouldn't see the sun or another living thing until they arrived.
The worst rumors say that some prisoners arrive with the skin of their feet peeling off or their feet rotten to the bone from standing in their own urine and shit, their eyes milky from the total darkness. They say that some go crazy before they even arrive at the mines, while others break the day they arrive. Most don't even survive the first week, let alone the six years that Kruk was sentenced to.
Six years.
Two for each man he killed to protect me.
His mate who wasn't technically his mate.
Six years on a technicality.
If I'd only let him mark me, claim me, then he'd still be here with me.
I know Ozog blames me. He hasn't outright said it, but it's in every look he gives me. The only reason he's stuck around is because of Mable.
His mate.
His claimed mate.
They'd had their ceremony a week after Kruk got taken. Surprisingly it had been Mable's idea. Unsurprisingly I didn't attend.
My body moves on autopilot, serving the guests, doing the shopping, making pitchers, eating, sleeping. It's like I'm not in my body. My mind is with Kruk, wherever he is.
I hope he's alright.
I pray that he's alive.
I beg the gods to let him come back to me.
But they don't answer. They never do.
So I smile and nod, I keep smashing pitchers over heads, and I pretend that I was fine. He was just an orc after all. Just an orc...
Who had treated me with nothing but respect.
Who had accepted me without question or judgment.
Who had loved me for me, after only a single night together.
The only people who ever saw me break, who were my saving graces, were Calla and Brunk. They'd showed up in the village the day Kruk was taken, intent on inviting us to their house for a meal. When Brunk had learned about what happened, he'd gone with Ozog to the constable. As an orc lord, they thought he might be able to sway the man, but they'd been laughed out of the jail.
Calla had stayed with me for for days, not questioning who or what I am, but just being there. Just being a friend.
But even she had to leave after a week. Her kids needed her. She'd left reluctantly after telling me I was welcome anytime. I'd taken her up on it a few days later, and every day I've had off in the past seven weeks.
Which is where I found myself today. In Calla's cozy kitchen, sitting at her dining table as she stirs a pot on the stove. Brunk and the kids were out playing, letting us have our personal time.
"I don't know what to do," I tell Calla as I sit heavily in the chair at her table. "They sent him to Gamora Mines and it's my fault!"
"It's not your fault," she tells me firmly. "Kruk is an adult orc, they do what they want. He chose to kill those men instead of just scaring them off. That was his choice, not yours. Don't shoulder the guilt of his actions, because once you start you'll never stop and you'll drown in it."
"It's too late for that," I say softly. "I feel like.. someone is sitting on my chest with my heart in their fist and they are just slowly squeezing. It hurts so much that it makes me sick."
Calla puts down her spoon and comes over to me, putting a hand on my arm, "have you told anyone about this? Mable? Ozog?"
I shake my head, "they are too busy being mates and running the tavern. And Ozog.. he hates me. I don't blame him. I hate me too. If I'd just taken Kruk's damn mark he'd be here!" I breathe shakily, "I didn't think I would miss him this much. Hell, we only knew each other for hardly a full day but.. it's like part of me is missing."
"I know the feeling well," she says gently. "Brunk and I, we've been through a lot in our time together. Have you ever wondered about the scars on his chest?"
"I just assumed he was in a battle," I answer.
"It was a Wilderbeast," she tells me. "We were traveling to kill the monster and we'd been sleeping together for part of the trip. He thought that meant we were mates, and he marked me without telling me what it meant. I was a lot like you. I didn't want a mate, didn't even really know what it meant. I was stubborn. Instead of talking to him about my feelings and my wants and needs, I left him. I abandoned him. He went on ahead and the Wilderbeast attacked him. Almost killed him. I found him just in time, killed the beast, and almost lost my mate. The pain.. I've felt pain before, Finn. But nothing comes close to the pain you feel when your mate is hurt or taken or dying. The entire time he was unconscious, it felt like I couldn't breathe. Couldn't focus on anything but him. And the second he opened his eyes, it was like I could breathe again." She gives me a small smile, "you will be able to breathe again. I promise you that. Kruk is a strong orc. He will come back to you. You just have to be strong until then."
"I don't know if I can be," I admit. "My soul feels hollow."
"I know," she tells me. "And nothing I say can make it better. But just know that you have me and Brunk and the kids for when things get bad. You come to us when you need reminded on how to breathe. We've got you, Finn."
I'm about to thank her when Brunk comes clumping through the door. He seems intent on moving past us, but he stops suddenly and takes a deep breath. Turning to us, he goes over to Calla and sniffs her head. His eyebrows furrow as he looks at me questioningly and slowly comes over to me.
Brunk sniffs my head deeply and I freeze, "what's he doing?"
"Wachook," he grumbles.
Calla looks at her mate questioningly, "are you sure?" She asks him. He grunts and an almost pitying look leaks into her eyes. "Brunk, give us a minute, please."
My heart sinks as he leaves, "damn. It's got to be bad if you said please. What's that word mean?"
"Finn," she says slowly. "I'm not known for my.. gentle way with words, so I'm just going to say it. But when I do, if you need to break something, there's a shed out back and an ax next to it."
"Just tell me," I say softly. Although a part of me already has a sickening suspicion of what she's going to say.
"You're pregnant."