Fiona
Pregnant
Thwack
Pregnant
Thwack
Each time that word echos in my head, I chop another hole in Calla's shed.
And there were a lot of holes.
How the fuck did this happen?
I didn't realize I'd spoken out loud until Calla hesitantly answers, "well, I didn't think I'd have to have this conversation for a few years but, when a boy and another boy love each other, or just want to have some fun, they take of their clothes and-."
"I know how it happens!" I tell her, putting down the ax. My arms are immediately jelly and I'm slowly becoming aware of just how badly my body hurts. Especially my hands. Looking down, I sigh when I see the split skin on my palms, blood staining my skin and the ax handle. "I know how it happens," I repeat, looking back at Calla. "But how did this happen? We didn't even have sex for fucks sake!"
"I'm gonna ask you a question and you're going to give an honest answer, no matter how embarrassing it may be, ok?" She doesn't wait for my answer as she asks, "did his hands at any point touch his own cum?"
My face flushed slightly as I vividly remember ordering him to jerk himself off. "Yes," I answer slowly.
"Great and I'm going to assume that he didn't wash his hands before putting them inside you," she says.
It wasn't a question but I still answer, "we weren't really.. thinking about that."
Calla shakes her head, "nobody ever does. Look, you don't need his cock in you to get pregnant. All you need is for that one pesky sperm to find its way inside. In this case, it hitched a ride in on his fingers."
"How is that even possible?" I ask in disbelief. "I've never heard of that happening. Nobody ever talks about that happening."
"Yeah tell me about it," she mutters. "That's how I got baby number three." She takes a deep breath before saying, "my point is, is that it's definitely possible and Brunk has a nose for pregnancy. He's never wrong. So now the question is, what do you want to do?"
"What do you mean?" I ask, confused. "There's only one thing to do."
"Abortion," she says.
"Have it," I tell her at the same time.
She looks at me, blinking in surprise a few times, "ok.. so, different pages here."
"I can't get rid of it," I tell her. "It's a sin."
She snorts, "and being the way you are isn't?" At my startled look she says, "come on Finn. What part of you isn't classified as a sin to most humans? You're a boy in a girls body, pregnant out of wedlock with a half orc kit, that you conceived during premarital sex, whose mate is in a prison mine for murder. Most humans would consider your entire life a sin. Adding one more isn't going to change their opinion of you."
Her words did have some truth to them. Most people would think I'm sinful if they knew the extent of the things I've done and who I am. But this.. this was something else. This has been ingrained into me from birth that kids are a gift and even if the gift is unwanted we still have to accept it and make the best of the situation.
I've heard of a few girls who've had an abortion and when their families and village found out they've been cast out. Hell, being pregnant out of wedlock was more preferable than having the abortion.
I try and picture doing what Calla suggested. How would I even do it? Was there a healer to go to? Herbs to take? Was it safe?
My head starts reeling and I sink to my knees, breathing heavily. Calla is in front of me in an instant, her hands on my face, "listen to me. You don't have to figure anything out right now. You've got time."
"I don't," I cry as tears start to pour down my face. I hadn't been aware that I was about to cry but now that I was, I couldn't stop. "There's.. no time. I can't.. do this.. I don't want.. to do this... I want.. I want Kruk.. I want my mate!"
Calla pulls me into her, her arms circling me as I cry, holding me tightly. "I know baby, I know," she repeats as I sob.
I cry for a long time. I cry until my face hurts and my throat is sore, Calla's shirt is beyond wet from my tears, drool and even a little snot.
"I messed up your shirt," I whisper when I'm finally finished and calmed down. I'm still in her arms, too exhausted to move and she doesn't try to make me.
"I've got three kids, Finn. There's not a day that goes by where my clothes don't get messed up in some way," she jokes softly. "Do you feel better?"
"I don't know," I sigh. "I feel..."
"Exhausted?"
I nod against her chest, "yeah. And.."
"And what?"
Helpless.
I don't say that though. It was bad enough that I'd completely broken down in her arms, I don't think I could handle her being any more kind right now.
"Can I stay here?" I ask, clearly surprising her and honestly myself. I'd thought about it before, but I didn't want to impose. But things were different now. "I don't think I can go back to the tavern. Not with Ozog there and he'll never leave Mable. I don't.. have anywhere to go, even if I could afford to leave. You guys are my only friends aside from the girls at the tavern. And once people find out about the," I stop, unable to bring myself to say the word. "I don't think it'll go over very well," I continue. "I'd help with the kids and the housework as payment and I can gather my own food and help with the laundry and-."
"Stop," Calla orders gently as she pulls away enough to see my face. "Of course you can stay. I was actually going to offer, once Brunk was done building your house but you beat me to it."
"Building my.. what?" I ask, unable to make sense of what she just said.
"Your house," she repeats. "Well, more like a small hut, but it's definitely bigger than your room at the tavern I'd imagine."
I stare at her a moment before asking, "why?"
She chuckles slightly, "because contrary to popular belief, I'm not a total bitch. I'm actually very kind when I want to be. We've got the land and gods know we aren't doing anything with it. And.. we were going to offer it to you and Kruk, before.. everything. I love living here, but it gets lonely with just us. And I think it would be good for the kids to have someone else around and it would be good for you to get out of the village. To be free to be who you want to be. You can do that out here. If you want?"
I answer without hesitation, "I want."
She smiles and stands up, offering me her hand, "then let's go home."
I take it and let Calla haul me to my feet and lead me back to the house and to hopefully a new life.