Kristal Anderson
I slammed my laptop shut and got out of bed, sliding into my sleepers. My body moved faster than my brain could process what I was doing.
All I knew was that I needed to see him.
I ripped my light pink silk robe off the hanger and threw it on over my nightgown, tying a lazy bow as I rushed to my window. I pushed my curtains aside and then my window was next.
The air was cool and crisp against my skin but I paid it no attention. My body was working on autopilot and I made no effort to stop it or even slow my actions. Aiden consumed my every thought in that moment.
I needed to see him. To hug him. To reassure him that it got better.
Adrenaline and something elseâ something so powerful, something that ran so deep withinâ ran through my veins making it almost like an out of body experience that pushed me to do the unthinkable.
I sat on my windowsill, my legs dangling off the edge. Without giving myself another second to reconsider it, I forced myself off the edge.
Jumping off my window.
I landed on my knees in my grassy driveway with a loud thud. I waited for the pain to shoot through me yet it never came, but I knew that once that adrenaline-driven high had worn off, I would be so extremely sore.
I was on my feet and before I could check myself for injuries, my feet had already began to move. I jogged across the street towards his driveway.
I knocked on his door as if my life depended on it, silently praying that he was home because all the lights were off but he's car was in the driveway.
I opened my mouth to call out his name but I stopped myself when the lights clicked on and soon after the front door flew open, revealing a sight that broke my heart into pieces.
He stood there, the most heartbreaking look covered his expression; a mixture of exhaustion and a pain so deep and excruciating you like every breath might just be your last. A look I knew all too well.
He wore a disheveled white button-up with all the buttons undone exposing his lean build, black dress pants that hung low on his hips, a half empty bottle of Jack Daniel's on his hand. He was barefoot with his hair just as disheveled as his shirt.
His eyes grew wide at the sight of me, "Kris what are youâ" His gaze averted just above my head towards my house across the street, his blinks were slow and laboured almost as if his eyes were betraying him, "How did you. . ." He trailed off looking up at my window, slowing coming to the realization himself.
"I-I jumped," I said only confirming his thoughts.
He snapped his eyes back in my direction, "You what? youâ you jumped, Kris you could have called, texted, hell yelled out my name and I would've come for you. You could have gotten seriously hurt," The protectiveness in his voice sent the butterflies in my stomach completely ablaze.
"I'm okay I promise, I didn'tâ hurt myself," I said though I still couldn't quite feel much, still hung up on the high, "I justâ I needed to get to you as fast as possible. . . your mom I- Aiden I'm so sorry,"
His gaze faltered for a moment before he stepped aside opening the door wider, "Come in," He reached beside him flicking on the lights.
I looked behind me staring back at my house to ensure that the coast was clear before stepping inside. The layout was very similar to that of my house, he lead me towards the living room after shutting the door.
The living room was simple yet cozy, a cream colored L shaped couch with multiple cozy looking pillows, a matching cream rug underneath the couch and wooden center table. Aiden got down and sat on the pillow that laid on the rug, an ashtray on the center table in front of him a cigarette pack and a lighter beside it.
He leaned back against the couch and let out a shaky sigh. I followed suit grabbing a pillow off the couch, placing it on the floor beside his before sitting down cross-legged facing him.
Downing a long sip of the bottle, he finally spoke, "It still. . . doesn't feel real, you know? It hasn't fully registered," He said before holding the bottle out to me.
I hesitated for a moment before taking it from his hand, taking a sip. The burn intense burn slowly spread across my entire body as it traveled down my throat. "Aiden I-. . . I owe you an apology. I made you a promise and I broke it, I promised you that I'd be there for you, that you could count on me during this difficult time and Iâ I just left you when you needed me most,"
He turned his head in my direction and shook it, "You have nothing to apologize for, I understand why you did it, I understand how important your aunt is to you and it was clear that I was coming in between you two,"
Placing the bottle down on the wooden table, I took his hand into mine giving it a tight squeeze, "I still wish I was there with you, I wish I had been right there the moment you got the news to hug you, to comfort youâ" A small yelp escaped me when he wrapped his arm around my waist pulling me into a hug.
My arms went to his neck instinctively, wrapping them around it pulling him impossibly closer, "You're here now, and that's all that matters," He said, his voice just above a whisper.
The warmth of his bare chest consumed me, only the thin material of my nightgown and robe between our bare skin. His face made it's way to the crook of my neck like it always did and he inhaled deeply tightening his grip around my waist.
"I know how you must feel,
that emptiness. . . that feels like a hole has been carved out in your chest," I pulled away from the embrace, his eyes lingered on mine as I sat back down on my spot,
"a-and it just feels like it can never be filled, at least that's how I felt when I lost my mother,"
He nodded, "That's exactly how I feel and I don't. . ." He paused considering his words as he reached towards the bottle taking another sip, "I don't know if I'll be able to live with it, "
"You will," I reassured him with a soft smile, "I know that right now it all seems like it's all over and like there's no way through this pain in your chest but I can assure you that you will get throught this," I said before adding, "I'm gonna help you, I'll make sure that you get through this, I promise,"
For the first time since he opened the door, his lips twitched into a small smile but it didn't reach his eyes, "What would I do without you darlin,"
I shrugged letting out a small chuckle, "It's my duty as your friend to make sure you get through this,"
His face fell and his eyes wavered between me and the floor, he took a long pause before speaking again, "Yeah. . .Um, I need to use the bathroom I'll be right back," He said before getting up and leaving the room.
I watched him disappear down a hallway before taking a moment to look around the living taking in more details of the room. The walls were kept pretty bare aside from two abstract paintings on the walls, two fake plants brought a little more life to the place. Everything was kept very neat and clean which brought my admiration for him up a notch.
Minutes later he walked back into the room now with most of the buttons of his shirt done, refraining me from admiring the beautiful sight that was his chest.
"Have you been eating?" That was the one thing that I had a hard time doing when I lost my mother so much so that it landed me in the ER due to malnutrition.
He shook his head, "Not since it happened,"
"Well lucky for you, I'm starving and I hate eating alone, you mind keeping me company, darlin?" Truth was I was far from hungry, but I wanted my supposed hunger to be an excuse for him to eat. Even if it were a little bit.
After ravaging through his fridge and coming up short, we landed on spicy instant noodles that he had in his pantry. He told me to search for something to watch on the TV while he made the noodles.
"Careful, these are really spicy," He warned me, putting down my bowl of the steaming noodles swimming in the red broth.
I waved him off, "I'm really good with spicy food,"
"Well I'm gonna get you a glass of milk just in case,"
"Absolutely not," I shook my head, "Don't you underestimate me Mister,"
He raised his hands up in surrender, "Alright, alright," He said before filling up his glass of milk and digging in.
I'm really good with spicy food. . . Or at least I was before feeling the intensity of those noodles. I was tearing up after the second bite, the pain from the spiciness was taking over every part of my body.
But I held off; I wasn't gonna prove a man right. So I took a few more bites and I could feel him glancing my way but I kept my eyes ahead, staring at the TV.
I was doing really well. . . until I wasn't and I found myself reaching for Aiden's glass of milk. The laugh that erupted from his throat wasn't a sound I thought I'd hear for a while but it was genuine, it was real and it was music to my ears.
After everything had settled down and we had cleared our bowls to the best of our ability, we found ourselves on his couch; he was laying down with his head on my lap and my hand had found the perfect soothing motion playing with his hair as we watched the most bizarre singing competition where all the contestants wore masks.
As the minutes turned to hours, Aiden grew more and more quiet until he finally fell asleep. I stayed with him for as long as I could, watching him, admiring his features so close but eventually I had leave.
I needed to figure out a way to get back up to my room cause there was no way I was waking Aiden to ask him for the ladder. Knowing how hard the first few days of grief were, this was probably the most sleep he had gotten in days.
So I turned off the TV before very slowly slithering my way out and replacing my lap with a pillow. Getting up I slowly made my way towards the door in slow gentle steps.
"Kris?" His deep groggy voice stopped my movement. I turned around slowly and was met with him already sat up and staring at me, before I could apologize for waking him, he spoke, "Stay. . . Please, just a little longer,"
Last chapter of 2023!!!
Thank you to everyone who stuck around through 25 chapters, and everyone who voted and everyone who took the time to comment, I appreciate you all!! Thank you for 1.64k reads this year (I still can't believe that I surpassed 1k reads!!)
There's so much more to come in 2024 I hope you'll stick around<33
Happy new year <3
Love, J