a/n: this chapter is 4100 words. grab a snack and settle in. also, there's some multimedia so make sure you have a stable internet connection :)
The house was filled with chaos in the days leading up to graduation.
Selene and her mother had gone through her whole closet to pick which clothes she would need in Toronto. The winter clothes would be mailed to her after Selene arrived at the Airbnb; Selene would only take one large bag with her along with a carry-on.
In the back of her closet was a box filled with stuff that belonged to Declan; hoodies, t-shirts, date memorabilia and of course the giant teddy bear from when he had proposed.
The clothes she had bought with Zoë to start the revenge plot were in a box that Carter had sent to an LGBT donation center.
Selene had spent nearly an hour and forty minutes deleting every picture of Declan from her phone; unfollowing him on Instagram and Twitter; unfriending him on Facebook and Snapchat; deleting his number and all text threads--including a group chat with the rest of the group; changing all her bios to erase the D with a lock emoji; and deleting all the pictures she had tagged him in. When she was done, she found the plan with the header 'DOWN WITH DECLAN' and ripped it to shreds. She wanted to set it on fire but Micah had quickly taken the matches from her hand and hidden them away.
On the Tuesday, they all went to iHOP together and ordered more than two of everything as they sat in a booth together. The mood went back and forth from somber to happy, her parents and Carter embarrassing her with tales of her childhood. They went dorm shopping together afterwards.
By Wednesday, Selene was ready to get on the plane and leave.
"Selene," her mom said softly. "You have guests."
Selene opened her mouth to protest but her mom stopped her. "It's Verona and some other girl."
Selene lifted her head from her pillow. "Tell them I'll be right down."
Lucille nodded. She paused for a moment. "I'm going to bring you girls some lemonade."
"Thanks, mom." Selene hadn't been seeing anyone her age since the day after prom plus she had spent most of the time with her family anyways.
She looked at herself in the mirror.
Her hair was in braids and her face was bare of all makeup. She wore a pair of sweatpants and a crop top with pink fuzzy socks. It would have to do.
She put on a pair of sneakers before heading downstairs.
Verona and Ruby sat next to each other on her porch swing.
Ruby was holding a glass of lemonade while Verona had two in her hands. She passed one to Selene as she sat.
Selene traced the rim of her cup with her finger. "I thought I was never going to see you again," she confessed.
"Why would you think that?" Verona asked.
Selene shrugged. "You're Declan's friends." It felt very stupid in hindsight; almost like kindergarten stuff.
"I'm not his friend," Ruby said.
They turned to her. "What?" Selene asked.
"He's Roman's friend, I'm Roman's sister," she said. "That doesn't make him my friend."
Verona nodded. "They've been friends forever. When I started dating Rome it was like they were a package deal."
"And they're only friends because our parents are," Ruby said.
"Rome said he's sorry he couldn't come," Verona said.
Ruby nodded. "I think Carlos is Declan's only real friend."
Selene made a face.
"What?" Ruby asked.
Selene winced. "He basically just said that he's always liked me and Declan knew that and dated me as some sort of power play because Carlos was 'waiting too long.'"
"Wow," Verona said.
The girls sat in silence for a while.
How different her senior year would have been if she had dated Carlos instead. Would she have even given him a chance? She had barely known him until she had dated Declan anyways. But in hindsight, Selene wanted to drag her past self into a shallow grave and step on her fingers.
"Carlos?" Verona and Ruby asked at the same time. Selene would have been startled by how in sync it was but she was being snapped out of her reverie of punching her past self in her--their?-- face.
She nodded somberly and let out a sigh. "Carlos."
"So what's up with the whole 'revenge plot' thing?" Ruby said. "Because I'm still completely in the dark."
Selene took a deep breath. She felt like she was never going to finish explaining the whole story over and over again. When she finished both Ruby and Verona looked shocked.
Selene sunk further into her seat on the porch swing, worried that they would call her every name under the sun for what she did to Declan.
"Houston, we found our most likely to be an asshole," Ruby said. "And his name is Declan Grey."
"Most likely to have the personality of a dick bigger than his dick," Verona added.
"Most likely to have peaked in high school," added Selene.
The girls laughed.
"I don't even know what I saw in him," she said, almost sad. She had known--she had fucking known-- that Declan was a player before this. She knew he had smooth words and a reputation for fucking girls over. So why had she been so convinced she was different? Even though Selene currently hated her, she wished she had listened to Zoë.
"Well, maybe call your eye doctor," Ruby said.
They all went silent before they burst out laughing.
"That was absolutely terrible," Verona said, pretending to wipe fake tears.
Ruby shrugged. "But you laughed, did you not?"
"I'm leaving," Selene said.
They turned to her. "I'm getting on a flight two hours after graduation ends and I'm going to Toronto. I got an Airbnb for the rest of the summer, my dad hooked up an internship for me, so I'm leaving."
"Because of Declan?" Ruby asked. "You're leaving because of a boy?"
"It's not just that," she said. "High school is just... so petty." She shook her head remembering that earlier that day a girl from her calculus class had informed her that Zoë was telling people that the only reason she hadn't gotten into Ryerson was because Selene had somehow sabotaged her. "I'm ready to be away from the drama and the purposely hurting each other. We act like we're adults but we fight like children; it's stupid."
Verona nodded and held Selene's hand. "I understand."
"I don't," Ruby admitted. She patted Selene on the shoulder. "But I'm here for you. And I'll be in Toronto as soon as summer is over."
Selene smiled slightly. "Thanks, guys."
"That's what friends are for," Ruby said.
Selene's mouth opened in amazement.
"Don't," Ruby said. "Do not make this a big deal. It is a figure of speech."
"You like me," Selene teased.
"I will leave."
Selene mimicked locking her lips with a key but she was smiling.
The girls stayed for fifteen more minutes, drinking their lemonade while they talked and laughed. Verona promised to visit for a week in August and then proceeded to make what she called a 'Toronto Bucket List'--a list of nearly twenty-eight items and activities. As they left, they told her that they would see her at graduation.
Selene stayed on the porch swing until the sun began to set.
The front door opened. "Hey hun," Lucille said. "Your friends left?"
She nodded. "A while ago."
Lucille sat next to her. "Everything's changing," she said.
Selene nodded, laying her head on her mom's shoulder.
"It feels like I just got you back and now you're leaving me," Lucille said.
"I'm sorry," Selene responded.
Lucille squeezed her hand. "Don't be. Every child needs to leave their parents eventually; I'm happy I was here for it."
"I love you," Selene told her.
Her mother kissed the top of her forehead. "I love you too."
»
"Don't freak out," Carter said, entering Selene's room.
Selene stopped bouncing on the suitcase she was attempting to close. "Carter you can't just say "don't freak out" and expect me not to freak out," she said. She bounced on the suitcase one more time, pushing its contents down enough for her to zip it all the way. She did a small celebratory dance in her head.
"Zoë is here."
Selene froze. She had to clear her throat to speak. "Why?"
"She said she wants to talk to you," Carter said.
Selene paused, staring at her wall. It was barren now but before the revenge plot had started there had been a small collage of photos of them throughout the years but over the past three and a half months, it had been taken down.
"I can tell her to leave," Carter said, already closing the door.
"I'll talk to her," she blurted out.
Carter stopped closing the door. "Are you sure."
No. She nodded, "We were friends for six years." She looked down at the carpet. "I think I owe it to her." Selene stood and walked towards the door.
Carter stopped her by stepping in front of her and blocking her path to the door. "She hurt you, you don't owe her anything."
Selene nodded.
"Say it."
Selene took a deep breath. "I don't owe her anything."
The corner of Carter's lips quirked up slightly. He stepped out of her way. "You got this."
Selene headed past him down the steps to the front door.
Zoë leaned against the bannister of the front porch.
"Hey," Selene said.
Zoë's head snapped up from her phone and she tucked the device into the back pocket of her jeans. "Hey."
For a moment, neither of them said anything.
Zoë was wearing a blue turtleneck that was so see-through that Selene could see she wasn't wearing a bra underneath and a pair of black ripped jeans with grey heeled boots. Her makeup wasn't done, a few chains dangled from various parts of her body and the front pieces of her hair were braided with the rest crimped.
Zoë sighed. "Uh, I have some of your things." She toed the box that was at her feet that Selene hadn't seen originally.
Selene kneeled down to check it's contents.
A few shirts were folded neatly, a toothbrush Selene had left at Zoë's, a silk camisole she had forgotten about, pictures of the two of them together. At the bottom of the box was a few necklaces, Zoë's favourite pair of boots and a DVD copy of The Breakfast Club. Selene stopped. Along with Selene's possessions that she had forgotten at Zoë's over the years; Zoë had given back every gift Selene had given her over the years (birthdays, Christmas and every holiday in between).
Selene took the things that belonged to her and left the gifts she had given to Zoë in the box.
Zoë raised a brow at her.
"Take the rest," she told her. "Keep it, burn it; I don't care."
Zoë shook her head and picked up the box. She turned on her heel to leave, already clicking her pink convertible's doors open with her key fob.
"Why?" Selene asked once Zoë was halfway down the stairs.
Zoë stopped but didn't turn around.
"Why?" Selene asked again, louder this time, straightening her back. "You never gave me a proper reason for why you made me do this whole thing if you were still with him."
Zoë continued walking. For a moment Selene thought she would just ignore her and drive off but she just dropped the box heavily in the back seat of her car and turned back to Selene. "I wasn't with him the whole time," she said.
Selene knew she had to wait for Zoë to divulge more so she said nothing,
"He was my first love, Sel," she said, almost desperate. "Guys never fucking notice me; he did. And for once someone fucking loved me. And yeah, he fucking hurt me; he broke up with me so that I wouldn't be able to say he cheated on me. But I still fucking loved him, because for nine months of my life there was only him in my future and I couldn't let that go."
"So why not tell me?"
"Because you'd judge me. Because I did want him to hurt for what he did to me."
"But you still loved him?"
Zoë shook her head. "I didn't expect you to understand--or forgive me."
"I won't."
Zoë nodded solemnly. "I understand. But I hope one day you can."
Selene snorted but said nothing. It wasn't hard to remember that Zoë had been her everything for a long period of her life.
Neither of them said anything. But Selene could feel the tension there. Six years beside each other's side and now with this bitter parting, it felt like someone had ripped Selene's heart out of her chest. She resisted the urge to put a hand to the left side of her chest and actually check if it was still there; still beating.
The pink haired girl got in the driver's seat of her car and reversed out of Selene's driveway before speeding off.
When people talk about heartbreak, they never talk about how losing your best friend can cause you such pain it feels like you've lost half of yourselfâof your soul.
»
Lucille curled Selene's hair on the day of graduation. Selene had only done some light makeup as most of her things were in her bags. Carter had steamed her gown and Micah had stayed away as they got ready because he claimed it would make him cry.
Once they were all done--Selene in her graduation dress and cap and gown with heels on her feet and her parents all dressed up--they gathered in the foyer.
Carter held Selene's hand and then reached for Micah's.
"Oh no," Selene said. "We are not praying."
"It's going to be a team huddle if you'd stop killing the mood."
Micah held Lucille's hand and Lucille held Selene's other hand.
"You got this," Carter said.
They all waited for something more but he said nothing,
"You have a way with words," Lucille complimented.
Carter ignored her. "Selene, you have gone through so much. And now you're so close to the light at the end of the tunnel. So... keep running. We'll be right behind you."
They all paused, holding hands.
"In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen," Carter finished quickly then clapped his hands together.
Selene groaned.
"Let's get this show on the road," Micah said, twirling his keys around his finger.
»
Selene didn't know if she would have made it through graduation without Verona. Luckily, they were organized by last name so Selene sat next to her during the long ceremony. Verona held her hand as Zoë opened the graduation with her salutatorian speech that was basically bullshit that ended with how the graduating class was a big happy family. Verona cheered louder than everyone as Selene got her diploma and Selene did the same in return.
When Declan got his diploma, Verona distracted her even though he was literally only five feet away from her on the stage. They took videos of their friends walking across the stage and Verona kept making Selene laugh at the worst times by singing graduation song under her breath very offkey.
Verona even got up and shouted, "That's my best friend" when Selene won a scholarship for seven hundred dollars.
After what seemed like forever, they finally got to move their tassels from right to left and got announced as that year's graduates.
Verona hugged her tightly. "We did it."
"We did it," Selene repeated softly.
Verona pulled away. "I have to go find Rome. Safe flight okay?"
Selene nodded. "Congratulations."
"Text me when you land," Verona said, starting to push through the crowd.
"I will!" she called after her.
Quickly, she was attacked from the back by a hug.
She let out an oof.
"We graduated!" Ruby exclaimed. "And you got a fucking scholarship! And like a dozen awards!"
"We did!" Selene laughed. "And I did!"
Ruby smiled. "No more high school bullshit now."
"Congrats!" Carlos said walking up. He enveloped Selene in a hug.
She breathed him in; pine and Lysol. She closed her eyes. "Congratulations, Carlos," she said softly.
He'd also won a scholarship; a different one for four hundred dollars.
She pulled away slowly.
"I'm going to go find my parents," Ruby said. She hugged Carlos and Selene quickly before leaving.
"Rue told me you're leaving tonight," Carlos said.
She nodded. "My flight's at nine. I'm leaving for uni."
"At least come back for Christmas?" he asked. The side of his mouth quirked up. "I really want those colorful socks."
She laughed. "They will literally knock your socks off."
He winced. "That was terrible."
She shrugged, still smiling. "I tried."
He enveloped her in another hug. "Good luck, Selene," he said. "Take care of yourself."
"You too," she said, her voice soft.
"And keep in touch."
She nodded against his shoulder. "Of course."
He let go almost reluctantly and stared into her eyes.
She took a step closer.
Carlos put a hand on her shoulder, taking a step back. "Stay safe," he said before walking off, disappearing into the crowd.
Everything bustled around her. The room was ablaze with royal blue gowns and camera flashes. A graduation cap had landed on top of a ceiling fan and was balancing precariously.
She took a deep breath. Soon she would have to fight through the crowds to find her parents, probably wrangle in Ruby or Verona or both for an awkward grad picture.
"Selene."
She turned her head. Declan was walking towards her.
Nope. Nope. Nope.
Declan hadn't attempted contact since the night after prom when he had broken her heart and she had broken his heart and his phone. She had assumed that the lack of messages from him before she deleted his number was a sign that he was going to at least let her leave Vancouver in peace.
Selene quickly turned in the other direction to walk away. She stopped.
Zoë was walking towards her. Her gait fuelled by only anger, her glare pointed at Declan.
Selene really did not want to be in the middle of the eventual spat between the two. She looked behind her at the rows of chairs. Would jumping over them all be seen as immature?
"Sel," Declan started, grabbing her arm.
She wretched it out of his grip. "Don't touch me," she spat, "and don't call me 'Sel.'' Anger flooded her so quickly that she could feel her cheeks turn red and her palms getting hot.
"Selene," he started again. "Please?"
"What do you want from me?"
"I love you, Selene," he took a step closer but didn't try to take her hand again. "I know I hurt you, but can't we just start over? I can't let you leave on bad terms."
Selene opened her mouth to explain that this wasn't a thing that they just 'started over'. They had both spent their entirety of their relationship lying to each other. What kind of relationship could possibly come from that? Though the feelings were there, they were doomed from the start.
"Selene, really?" Zoë asked, arriving in a mist of her lavender perfume mixed with the stench of pure anger. "You're still with him? After you gave me shit the other day?"
"I'm not with him," she said. She choked on the words, half stuck in her throat. She realized how small she always felt around Zoë--and not just because Zoë was taller. She felt like she couldn't speak around her; like everything she did was under scrutiny and instantly deemed wrong.
"Can I talk with my girl for five fucking minutes?" Declan asked.
Selene opened her mouth in protest, "I'm not your--"
"No you can't," Zoë interrupted. "You're the reason that we're in this situation in the first place. We were great friends before you came along--"
"As if this is solely my fault," he said. "You set us up together. You texted me because you wanted to 'talk' and then practically sucked my face off--"
"I don't remember you complaining--"
"How the fuck could I--"
"Stop," Selene said. "Both of you. For fuck's sake."
They both stared at her.
"You know what?" she continued. "You two," she gestured at the both of them, "are fucking made for each other. And I never want to see either of you ever again. Happy fucking graduation."
She pushed past the both of them and headed into the throng to find her parents.
"Our little scholar," Micah said, enveloping her in a hug.
Her mom joined. "We're so proud of you."
Carter joined the group hug. "Congrats, kid."
Selene closed her eyes. She wasn't going to cry again; she was almost positive that she had cried more tears during these last four months than she had in infancy.
So she smiled as her parents took pictures of her with her diploma; as she mimed throwing her cap into the air; as she wrangled in Ruby and Verona for some group pictures. Because eventually she wouldn't have to fake it.
»
"I can't believe you're leaving," Micah said.
They were standing in the airport. Selene was about to go through security and this was where they would say their final goodbyes.
"I'm going to miss you," she told them all.
Lucille looked on the verge of tears. "You were so small," she said. "When the doctor handed you over, I just stared at you for hours. I loved you instantly. I didn't know this would hurt this much."
Selene teared up. "Stop, mom. I'm going to cry."
"I never wanted to be a father," Micah started.
"Gee thanks."
"But everyday you make me want to be a better person; so that you have someone to look up to."
Carter sighed. "I didn't know we were doing speeches, I think I missed that group text.
Lucille let out a teary laugh.
"I'm not blood but you've been my family these past four years," Carter said. "I'm proud of the person you've become. And I'm even more proud that even zero point zero one percent of that was because of me. Because you're fucking awesome, kid."
Selene looked up at the ceiling. "I love you guys."
"We love you too," they all chorused back.
Selene took a deep breath and turned, walking towards the security line.
As she put her bag on the conveyor belt, she turned and waved.
They all waved back. Lucille was tucked under Micah's arm and Carter was holding her hand across Micah's body.
Her plane hadn't started boarding yet when she had put her shoes back on. She found a seat in the crowded terminal and connected to the airport's wifi.
Messages rolled in. Roman had texted her a gif of an animated plane flying against a blue-pink sky. Carlos had texted her 'safe travels' with a plane emoji and Verona and Ruby had created a group chat of just them three.
She opened the group chat. At the top of the thread was just a video followed by Ruby's reaction of 'OMG so cute.'
Selene put on her headphones and pressed play on the video. It was from graduation and had been recorded from the middle of the crowd of graduates; probably by Ruby or Roman or even Carlos.
"Selene Calloway," the vice-principal said in the video.
Selene watched herself walk across the stage. She could see Verona next to the stage cup her hands around her mouth and cheer loudly, and then Carlos stood up from the crowd and followed suit a few rows from the front. Somewhere faintly she could hear her mother yell "That's my daughter!"
Selene smiled at the principal as she got her diploma and quickly walked off stage. The screen turned black.
Her flight was called for boarding.
Selene smiled at her now black screen. Maybe she wasn't all alone in this.
She quickly rummaged through her carry-on for a notebook and pen. She ended up with a crumpled McDonalds receipt and a pen that was running out of ink.
'SKYWARD WITH SELENE' she wrote at the top. She added a colon and followed it with smaller writing which said, 'up, up and away with heartbreak.'
She looked over the list and once she was satisfied she folded the receipt and tucked it into the back of her phone case.
She stood and headed for the boarding line. She was ready to take the steps to mend her heart.
THE END.
a/n:
wow.
what's up crazy butterflies?
i hope you all enjoyed the final chapters of How To Break A Heartbreaker. Did you think the book would end like this? What were your thoughts? I really hoped you like how everything ended.
Just a few things: thank you for reading all the way to the end , if you commented, voted or followed thank you so much. There won't be a sequel to How To Break A Heartbreaker. However, I will be writing a little spin-off for Christmas but that's all you're seeing of Selene, Declan and Zoë.
Once again, thank you for reading. Feel free to message me if you have any questions or critiques. I love you all and one last time:
MWAH. LUV YA. BUH-BYE.