a/n: happy holidays everyone! i just wanted to give you all a little something since we all got through this hell year. hope you're all healthy and happy and enjoy this little chapter :)
Selene was glad to be back.
She hadn't been back home since the day of graduation. Carter and her parents had decided to come to her for Thanksgiving after Verona had told her that Declan had gotten Zoë pregnant and they decided to keep the fetusâit caused Selene to have a panic attack in her dorm room and Carter had deemed her a flight risk.
She didn't miss much. Everything she did miss was a person; her family, her friends.
The cold air blew through a small gap in her layers and sent a shiver down her spine as she ran up the steps to Carlos's house.
Being here reminded her of earlier that year in March when she had met Declan here--she still couldn't believe that it hadn't been a full year since then. Between everything that happened in grade twelve and her starting her new life as a first-year university student, she felt like she had lived five years in this one year.
Roman opened the door when she rang the doorbell.
The house was nearly empty with music faintly playing from one of the upstairs rooms. Ruby had told her that they never liked parties anyway--it was always Declan's excuse to get drunk or to meet girls--so it made no sense for them to continue to host them.
"Welcome back, Sel," he said, opening his arms in a hug.
She had seen Roman often in the past few months. With Ruby as her roommate, Roman visited at least once a month, sleeping on the floor in between their beds.
She stepped into his arms easily. "Is everyone here?" she asked as she released him.
Roman nodded. "Carlos is out back smoking, Ruby's with Verona's shuffling Uno cards."
She smiled. In the past few months, their group constantly played the phone version of Uno through messages. No matter how big the time difference was between them all, they always played a game once a week.
"You going out back?" Roman asked her. He had a knowing smile on his face.
"Who told you? Rue or Verona?"
"Rona," he responded, "she can't keep secrets from me."
Selene shook her head, glancing down the hallway she knew led to Carlos's backyard. "I should probably say hi to the girls first."
"You live with Ruby and Verona picked you both up from the airport."
"I don't like it when you're rational," she told him.
Roman headed for the glass staircase. "We'll see you upstairs."
Selene was in the foyer alone.
In the past few months, she had a lot of time to think. She had finished her Skyward With Selene list a month ago. She had tried going on blind dates at school but nothing worked out; nothing felt right to her. And she had a lot of time to think about Carlos. Despite the three hour time difference, he called her every night, his voice lulling her to sleep. Whenever something big happened--usually getting a good grade in her Econ class-- she would text him first. Any thought that grazed his mind was sent to her phone within seconds. On Saturdays, they FaceTimed and studied together.
Carlos was an integral part of her life despite being so far away and now, Selene feared that the distance was the reason they worked.
She took a deep breath and headed outside. It was cold, the snow on the ground fresh from the morning and a breeze through the branches of the barren trees.
Carlos only wore a hoodie and a pair of sweatpants. The tip of his nose was pink along with his ears, though those were covered by his hood. He held a blunt between his fingers and blew out the smoke into the night sky.
His head turned when she opened the sliding door.
A smile took over his face. "Hey," he said, his voice raw with excitement almost as if he hadn't expected to see her.
"Hey," she responded.
She didn't know what to do. Did she hug him? Were they the kind of friends who hugged? Were they even friends?
Instead, she held out her hand for the blunt.
He passed it to her without contest. "I forgot you're a stoner now." He was still smiling.
She took a long inhale and blew it out before passing it back to Carlos. "I'm not a stoner." She had gotten high with Ruby a few days into the semester to ease her stress. She had quickly realized that smoking helped her write the best essays.
They smoked in silence. She had no idea how long it had been when Carlos crushed the end into the snow under his foot. She only knew that her face was numb to the cold.
"I missed you," she told him.
His eyes met hers. "I missed you too."
Neither said anything before Selene took a step forward, wrapped her arms around his shoulders.
She revelled in the way he leaned down to wrap his arms around her waist, how where their bodies met was all heat surrounding by the cold of outside, how he tucked his head into her neck, how he still smelled like Lysol and pine. How he exhaled as if he had been holding his breath this whole time.
"Are you cold?" he asked.
She shook her head though she knew it was a lie.
He hugged her tighter. "You feel cold."
"I'm okay."
"Okay."
Selene had always thought hugs were awkward. With Carlos, she felt at ease in his embrace.
He pulled away slowly, holding her far away enough that they could look each other in the eyes but were still wrapped in each other.
"I got you a present," he said, pulling away. His hand found hers and their fingers entangled as he dragged her inside.
He didn't head upstairs, instead heading into the basement. The beer pong table--was it a beer pong table if it wasn't being used for beer pong--sat in the middle of the room. On top was a box, wrapped precisely.
Selene glanced at Carlos, once he nodded, she began to unwrap it.
In front of her sat a record player with two records; Best of Beethoven and Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake.
"I know you love listening to classical music when you're stressed so I just thought--"
"I love it. Thank you." She looked at him. His cheeks and the whites of his eyes were red now too.
"No problem, Sel."
She reached into her jacket pocket. "Now I feel so shitty about my gift--" She stopped when Carlos gave her a look.
She handed the package to him.
It was small, big enough to fit in one of his hands and the wrapping came apart with one flick of his fingernail.
"I love it," he said, holding the pack of socks.
"No, you don't."
"These are cool--it this sushi?"
She nodded. One of the pairs was decorated with different sushi rolls. It had been the reason she had gotten the pack. "I told you I was getting you socks for Christmas."
Carlos stared at her.
She tried to clarify, "After prom, when you drove me home--"
"I know. I thought you'd forgotten."
"I can't forget," she told him earnestly, "I remember everything about you."
Carlos took a step forward, his hand was cautious as he placed it under her chin and tilted her head up to him. "Can I kiss you?"
She nodded.
Carlos's lips were tender, brushing against hers before kissing her fully.
Every guy Selene had kissed had made it a small event, kissing her roughly before moving to what they truly wanted.
Carlos kissed her like he could do it for the rest of his life. He was slow and soft with her, his hand cupping her face.
At that moment she didn't feel like she was being kissed but rather savoured.
Even as she pulled him closer, he treated her like the most delicate thing in the world.
He pulled away first, trailing kissing down her neck. They didn't feel like kisses begging to go farther but soft ones, appreciating the inches of her skin that he had access to.
"Took you long enough," she told him before his lips met hers again.
He laughed.
She loved his laugh, how wide his smile was and the unbridled joy that made his eyes nearly close.
"We should go back upstairs," he said.
She nodded.
Neither of them moved.
"Five more minutes," she told him.
His head leaned down as if it was the most natural thing.
As his lips met hers again, she realized she could get used to this
THE END.