I could feel the nerves bundling in my chest as Colby scratched my back. "You're okay." He hummed, holding me close.
I shook my head, hiding my face as someone knocked on the front door.
"That's probably Nate." Colby said then let go of me so he could answer the door. I frowned and looked around, fighting the urge to hide.
What if it wasn't Nate and if it was someone who was here to take me away again?
"Wait." I mumbled too quietly for Colby to hear. I heard him open the door and greet Nate, causing the tightness in my chest to loosen slightly.
"Wait here." Colby said to Nate then came into the room. "Okay, sweetheart. Which would you like first?" He asked and held up the two packages.
I frowned and pointed to the plan b pill causing him to nod and open it for me.
"I'm so sorry."I whispered as he shook his head. "Don't do that, Jules. You don't have to apologize." He said then came over and kissed my head.
0Let me know when you're ready to take this test." Colby said as I took the pill.
I didn't want to take the test at all.
I didn't want to know if I was pregnant because that would break me even more than I already was.
I pointed to the test then went to get out of bed. "Right now?" He asked as I nodded. I needed to just get it over with.
Colby nodded then led the way to the bathroom as he opened the test for me.
I shifted uncomfortably, not wanting to do this in front of him. "What's wrong?" Colby asked as I looked down.
"Do you want to do this on your own?" He asked as I nodded. "Okay, do you want me to be here for the results?" He asked as I nodded, my eyes watering.
"Don't cry, darling. We're gonna figure this all out together." Colby said quietly.
I nodded then turned away from him to signal that I wanted to be alone.
"Come get me when you're ready." He said then kissed my head and left the room.
I sniffled then looked down at the test in my hand. It felt like my heart was going to explode with how fast it was beating.
I probably should have had Colby in here with me, but I needed to do this alone. I needed to face this fear.
I took the test, then got myself cleaned up. I had to wait at least five minutes so I went to get Colby, leaving the test on the counter.
"She's hardly talking as of now. I can't say I blame her." Colby said to Nate as I walked into the room.
"Ready, love?" Colby asked as I nodded. "Hey, Jules." Nate said with a small smile. I waved, taking a step back from him.
"We'll be right back, man." Colby said then put his hand on my lower back, leading the way back to the bathroom.
I flinched at his touch, not particularly liking how it felt. I was slowly getting more comfortable with Colby but being touched at all was still hard to handle.
When we got to the bathroom, I looked at the test that was sitting on the counter. "How are you feeling?" Colby asked as I shook my head.
"Terrified." I mumbled as he nodded. "I know. We're gonna get you through this, no matter what it takes." He said then took a step towards me, caressing my cheek gently.
"Is this okay?" He asked as I nodded. I felt bad that he was so cautious around me, because we were madly in love.
It wasn't fair that other peoples' actions were tainting our relationship.
"How long do we wait?" Colby asked as I pulled away from him, turning towards the test. "Should be ready." I said as my stomach ached.
I was so scared of the results that I didn't want to move. I didn't want to see the results and I didn't want reality to hit.
I wanted to curl up in a ball and die.
"Want me to look?" Colby asked as I shook my head. I didn't want him to know the results at all, let alone before me.
I walked up to the plastic test that would seal my fate and flipped it around, revealing one singular word.
Pregnant.
I felt my chest start to heave in and out as my eyes watered. "Julia?" Colby asked with concern as I looked up with wide eyes.
"No.." Colby whispered as I collapsed. I would have fallen to my knees if Colby hadn't caught me, lowering me to the ground with him.
"It's okay. We're gonna figure this out." He said, holding me close.
I couldn't form the words, every part of my body was aching and my should was absolutely crushed.
I was hyperventilating so badly that my vision was blurring. "Hey. Look at me." Colby said and put his hands on both sides of my face.
"We're going to figure this out." He said with determination, looking into my eyes with a gentleness that I was surprisingly calming.
I frowned then wrapped my arms around his neck and hid my face in his shoulder, crying into it.
Part of me knew this was going to be the results because I haven't had my period in over a month, but I was hoping that was from stress.
We sat in this position for a while before I could even think of breathing normally.
When I pulled away, Colby wiped away my tears. "What do you want to do?" He asked and looked into my eyes.
I shook my head, not knowing what to think. I was so beyond stressed about this situation that I didn't even know how to respond.
"We don't have to figure this out today, but we need to get you to a doctor." He said as more tears trickled down my cheeks.
"I can't." I whispered as he pulled me in for another hug. "I know. I know how hard this is." He said quietly, scratching my back.
"Maybe we can talk to Nate. He might know what to do." Colby said as I sniffled and wiped my eyes.
I was ashamed about being pregnant, and really didn't want to share that with anyone but Colby was right.
Nate would maybe know what to do.
Colby stood up then helped me up, taking my hand and leading the way to the living room where Nate was sitting.
"Hey." He said and looked up at me. "So...uh..." Colby said and looked over at me, almost asking me for permission to say what happened.
I nodded then looked down awkwardly. "So, Jules is pregnant." Colby said causing Nate to gasp slightly.
"Oh, shit." He said as I closed my eyes, the reality hitting me. "We were hoping you could give us some options. A real doctor clearly isn't a good idea, but we can't just let her go without seeing one." Colby explained, wrapping his arm around me.
"Well, I know a guy in LA who can help. Are you wanting to keep the baby?" He asked and looked at me.
I didn't know how to answer that. Being pregnant in general was a horribly sore subject for me, but having this be my situation made it even worse.
What if they killed me for wanting to keep it?
What if they killed me for wanting to get rid of it?
I shrugged, keeping my eyes down. "You don't have to decide right now, but either way I know someone who can help. You just have to travel to LA." Nate said as I shivered.
The idea of leaving this apartment was scaring me. I was just starting to trust Colby, it was going to take a long time to trust anyone else.
"Is that okay, Jules?" Colby asked as I looked up at him. I must have looked rough because his face fell.
"I know this is hard, but you're going to be in the best hands." He said then leaned forwards and kissed my forehead.
"Yeah, Jules. You have time to figure this out. Either way you decide to go, you're going to be supported." Nate said and reached over, offering me his hand.
"What do I do?" I whimpered. "Whatever will make you feel better." Colby said gently.
I shook my head, knowing that both ways this could go would kill me.
Both options would hurt for different reasons. I just wanted the decision to be made for me and I wanted it all to be over.
I didn't think anything could get worse from this whole situation.
This was definitely the worst thing that could have ever happened to me.