â CHRISâ
"I am not rooming with you, ew," Julia said, making a face as I grinned at her.
"What's wrong with me?" I asked incredulously. "I'm clean, organized for the most part, and I cook." I wasn't really aiming to change her mind because I knew she isn't going toâit's all jokes anywayâbut I can't help feeling a little offended. I'd be the best roommate anyone could have.
She leaned back, eyeing me. "You almost had me at that last part since I've had your chicken parmesan."
"You cook?"
I looked over at Jeseah and she was giving me the same look Jules was, only more... heated. I held back a shiver, and it was not the excited kind. I ignored it as much as I could and shrugged at her question. My friends, however, had to voice their opinions.
"Boy can throw down," Thion said, stuffing several fries in his mouth and nodding.
"I never liked lasagna until I had the beef and vegetable one he made-"
"Freshman year?" Carlos cut off Jess, pointing at her.
She smacked her hands on the table, making utensils clatter, and groaned. "Yes," she said, "it was so good!" I almost rolled my eyes at her dramatics, but I couldn't deny it didn't boost to my cooking ego.
Most of them agreed.
The memory came back fresh and vivid even though I haven't thought about it in ages. It was on one of our many kickbacks and I was one of the small number of people who volunteered to make dinner instead of ordering take-out because let's face it, most of us were broke or stingy with our money when we were freshmen. No one was pitching in to order anything and Nate's parents were out that night, so like broke, dependent children, we were starving. So, with my expertise in culinary dishes since twelve-years-old (thanks mom), I volunteered to make a big enough meal with what was in Nate's kitchen. Since then, whenever the topic of cooking comes up, heads turned to me.
"Guys, thanks," I said, looking around at them with a stare that said 'stop'. "Thank you. But it's really not a big deal." I let out a laugh. "It's a survival skill, y'know."
"That not many men think they should have which is why... we're appreciating your skill," Marinna said, but it's obvious that wasn't what she was going to say halfway through.
I didn't call her out on it though and instead smiled and nodded.
"And that's why I think we should do that one more time," Thion said, leaning across the table. "Sit down and have dinner, I mean. Don't get no ideas."
We all laughed, and I looked around the table, smiling in a bitter-sweet way. I always loved hanging out with these guysâwe always had a great time and knew how to without substances being involved. We're not saints obviously but drinking or smoking wasn't necessary. Majority of the time, those only came in handy at parties, at least on my side.
It's really going you suck when we all split up. I knew I was going to be seeing Julia a lot more out of the lot since we're both going to Parsons, but it's not enough. I was joking about the roommate thing earlier, but a part of me kind of hoped she'd say yes. Besides from her, I'll only see a couple of my other friends who're going to be in the city, and I guess that'll have to do.
Maybe I have separation issues?
My eyes went around the table and I pursed my lips.
Ari was the only one who wasn't here, and despite what happened today, the table felt incomplete without her laughs and snide comments at everything I said. This whole get-together was a last-minute thing so when they asked her if she wanted to join, it was around nine o'clock and her mom was never going to let her out, so they promised to eat enough junk for her.
I resist the urge to reach for my phone, that was on the table, to text her.
It's been a week since the gardening, and... the thing that happened in my room, and I've been keeping my hands to myself since then. We didn't talk about it but when we both went down for dinner- well I left before her and stood on the steps until I was calm, then went downstairs and played videogames until I had my mind off it for a while. The second I saw her though, everything came rushing back tenfold and I could tell she was thinking about it too.
As much as I suffered through that dinner and afterward, I didn't touch her againâassuming the same lecture was going to apply when we spoke about it.
We left it alone and everything went back to normalâor whatever we call normalâbut I didn't touch her. I'd slip up one or two times when I place my hand on her back when we walked together or I put my arm over her shoulders, but other than that... nothing.
I was making it harder for her, not being able to control myself, and I didn't want that. It's not like I didn't have all intentions of sticking to what we'd agreed, but when I saw her standing in my room, in nothing but my shirt, and underwear, I completely forgot about all of it.
Right then I could see her standing in my apartment like that. And since then, that's all I've been thinking aboutâher coming down to see me and us spending however long she has with me, wrapped in my-
"Yow." I finger snapped in front of my face. "Daydreaming about my girl again?" Thion said, smirking.
I shook my head. "She's not your girl." I reached for my smoothie.
He grinned. "So, you are?"
I couldn't stop myself from smiling humorously. It's bad enough there are rumors that the three of us are sleeping together, but Thion doesn't try to make himself discreet. He really doesn't care about gossip, and I have no clue if he has feelings for Ari because he's like this with all our girl friends, but for some reason, he's more... attached to Ari. At least, in my eyes. I've come close to asking him, but I mentally see him laughing in my face then walking away or smirking and asking me questions that won't answer mine.
"Okay, okay," he said with a chuckle. He stuffed more fries in his mouth. "There's a party tomorrow night, you in?"
He asked after I took a bite of my burger. "Who's?" I chewed, licking mustard from my lips.
"Shanoon," he said.
I snickered at his nickname for Shannon, a former track colleague of mine. I still talk to her, it's just that when I do, most of the time it ends up with me taking a step back or leaning away because she's too close for comfort.
"Sure. My mom's going out of town, but she'll be back on Tuesday."
Thion turned to look at me, giving me his full attention and I knew what he was going to say.
"You know, with the amount of time your mom leaves town-"
"I am not having parties in my house." I cut him off before he finished. Like I always do.
"Bro, you haven't held not one high school party and you could've!" he said, clutching my shoulder and shaking me. "You could've been a legend, man. 'Chris the Hitch' or 'The Rich Parties'." He gave me a look as he gauged my reaction to the ridiculous names.
I nodded. "Nice."
"Right?"
I shook my head. "No."
He let out a loud breath, his head shook in mock disappointment. "College will change you."
I couldn't help my loud bark of laughter. "I really doubt that college is going to make me open up my apartment to a bunch of horny, barely legal adults, so they can trash it."
I had no clue how he could think that. I hardly want crowds in my mother's house and most people who come there don't even know where my room is, and he thinks I'll be more open with my place? Then he doesn't know me very well and he's one of my oldest friends. I can't even stomach the sight of multiple drunk high schoolers under one roof, so drunk and high college students surely aren't going to be under mine.
He shrugged, clearly thinking otherwise. "Never know. People do shit they wouldn't when they're lonely."
I gave him a blank stare. "Lonely?"
He returned the look. "First of all, everyone knows you're a momma's boy," he said, and I made a face. "Wipe the look, it's true. You're about to go off on your own and you and your daddy not close so you're not gonna be asking him to come over for dinner every week. Jules is gonna be in a whole other major doing her own thing, so you probably won't see each other. As for the rest of us that're gonna be up there-"
"I get it, Thion," I stopped him, not liking that he's making this picture much more vivid than I needed right now. "We're all gonna be busy and drift apart and I'm gonna go home to an empty apartment and miss everybody and start drinking. I'm gonna drown in self-pity until random people start walking in and out of my place when they feel like it with drugs and other illegal substances."
"I ain say all that," he said, and my lips twitched. "Just that some people get homesick and it's worse when they're alone all the time. But a guy like you-" he nudged my arm, "-you're not really one to admit it and it'll fuck with your mental."
I pursed my lips. "Kinda does sound like me."
We laughed lowly and I reach for my burger as he went for his milkshake.
"But," he started again, and I sighed loudly and dramatically. "It's a subject change, can you wait for me to speak?" he retorted. "We're all going to Shanoon's, and Jess is working on getting Ari out her house- calm down."
He held his hands up when my head turned to him quickly at Ari's name.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Jules is having a sleepover- let me finish," he said when I drew back. "Jess hasn't brought up the whole party thing yet, but," he leaned in and said, "they're planning on sneaking her out."
My eyes almost bugged out of my head. "What?"
He nodded and I laughed. "Ari's not sneaking out," I told him. I knew her all too well to know that she's gonna be on edge and guilty all night if she goes to a party without telling her mom.
He eyed me. "How you know?"
I turned back to my food, shrugging. "I just do."
"You love acting like you know her better than everybody," he retorted.
I didn't want to sound cocky by telling him that I do, but I'm sure he already knows that.
"So, I'm gonna ask you something." He got up and turned the back of his chair toward me before straddling it and moving in close.
I eyed him weirdly when I saw how he looked at me. His face too close to mine and his eyes piercing.
"Shoot?" My eyes averted awkwardly for a second.
"What are you guys doing?"
My gaze turned to the table and I shrugged.
"Need to ask my boy what he and Ari were fighting over today," Thion said, his eyes still on my face.
I really wanted to forget that for the weekend.
My face got hot at all the eyes on me after that. It wasn't every day Ari and I fought for real in front of our friends. The insults and jabs were always playful, and we always knew each other's limits, so we avoided rubbing each other the wrong way and getting into an actual fight.
Whenever anything got too out of control, it was always when we were alone, and we always made up not long after.
Today was different.
I shook my head, pushing my plate away. The churning in my stomach wouldn't allow me to even look at the rest of my food.
"It was nothing."
Jules broke the silence after that. "It didn't seem like nothing. She took the bus home, Chris," she said, giving me a look.
I almost winced, but the grimace on my face was more than enough to tell them how much that bothered me. If I ever wanted to know if Ari was pissed or upset because of something I did or said... her taking the bus shows that she's at a hundred on the 'fuck you' scale.
"What'chu said to my girl, Rich?"
I glared at Thion, more because he's still calling her his girl, than his demanding and accusing tone. He tried to hold back his amusement, but it was clear as day in his eyes, and the way his lips pulled up at one corner.
"Why does this have to be my fault?" I retorted, looking around the table at all of them.
"Come on," Nate said, making me look over at him. He shrugged. "It's Ari, Chris."
I gaped at him. Out of everyone here, I wouldn't expect this from him.
"And she can do nothing wrong?" I said incredulously. The last thing I thought about when I introduced her to my friends was that she'd end up replacing me.
They all looked at each other before, a collective, "No," sounded around the table, along with other sounds of disagreement.
This is ridiculous. I shook my head, but it was better than them all hating her and blaming her for everything.
"You know, she asked if you were going to be here tonight before she turned us down."
I didn't realize I was smiling until I heard that. I didn't mean to glare at Jess, but I did when I said, "What?"
The table got quiet and Jess pursed her lips.
"Didn't he tell you?" She pointed at Thion with a nervous look.
I looked to him and he continuously banged his head against his arms that were crossed on the back of his chair. Thion didn't reply to her, he just kept shaking his head against his arms.
I turned back to Jess, and I couldn't hold back how harsh my tone came out. "She didn't come because I'm here?" I retorted. Jess contemplated responding to me but decided not to. It's not like I needed it. "And not because her mother said no?" I held my hands up, my eyes going to all of them.
I fell back in my chair with a disbelieving laugh. "Un-fucking-believable."
Marianna was the first person to say something after that. "Y'know, her mom probably st-"
"No." I shook my head at her, not wanting to hear excuses. It's not like I wanted to see Ari at every hour of the day, but when she deliberately does shit like this just to be pettyâit pisses me off.
Leaning forward, I felt my face burning. "Listen, I understand that you guys like her and that's great. That's fucking spectacular, okay?" I retorted, ignoring the looks they threw at each other when I cursed. I don't do that often, so they know it's something serious whenever I do. "But she-" I stopped myself, gritting my teeth.
I reached for my phone, but Thion snatched it up before I could.
"Give me my phone," I said lowly, glaring at him.
He pointed at me briefly. "No. You're gonna call or text her some dumb shit that you're gonna regret tomorrow, and I'm not gonna let that happen."
I let out a breathless laugh as a way to calm myself. I smiled at him when I said, "Nathion... give me my phone."
He tilted his head, the humor that he usually wears, nowhere in sight. He stared at me with a neutral expression.
I threw my head back and breathed with my eyes closed. I've never been a violent person and I never will be, but he's testing my very thin patience right now. Even though I know I couldn't beat him in a fight, I could get a couple hits in to satisfy myself before he knocked me out.
"Come on," he said suddenly.
When I opened my eyes, he stood partially over me, staring down at my face.
His eyebrows raised when I didn't move. "What? You want me to carry you? Get up."
I stared at him, visualizing myself punching him in his mouth. His confidence and sureness are worse than his actual words because he knows that people who know him won't go up against him in a fight. We all know he has the power to knock people into hospitals. Thankfully, he hasn't gotten into anything this year. He's been mellow and chill, which is the best Thion to haveâno one wants to see the other side too often and he's been working damn hard to keep it back.
"You're gonna stop talking to me like I'm your bitch," I said.
His mask didn't crack. "You are." Low snickers slipped from around the table. "All of you are, except my girls." I closed my eyes again. "Come on man, I need to talk to you." His hand patted my shoulder.
I was a lot calmer than I was a minute ago, so it only took a couple of seconds before I sat up.
"Aw, I wanna hear," Jules whined. "I want some knowledge."
"Not this one. This one's just for Rich."
"Kinky."
I flipped them off as I stood, shaking my head when they laughed. When I got up, Thion immediately threw his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side.
I stopped trying to get out of his hold when he'd just pull me back in a second later. He led us down the hall where the bathrooms were until we stopped at the dead end, then we turned to each other.
"Okay?" I said, shrugging. I leaned against the wall and pushed my hands into my front pockets.
"After we have this conversation," he started, "if I still feel like your gonna do some fuckshit, then I'm keeping your phone." He held my phone up, waving it, before putting it in his back pocket.
"Ok, dad." I rolled my eyes. "And when do I get it back?" I humored him.
"First of all, I'm daddy," he emphasized, and my lips twitched. "And second, you'll get it back when you come to the party."
I looked away, nodding. "Kay, let's say I don't plan on going to this party and I want it back tonight?"
He shrugged. "Fight me."
"Cool," I nodded. I wasn't as hot-headed, so I was past all what just happened. I'm still bothered by her childish actions, but I'm over it at this point. Over all her shit.
"So, let's talk about this- don't bother with that face 'cause what just happened back there, isn't something that Chris Rich blows up over." He gave me a look. "I think we can both agree to that. So, what the fuck was so serious that you want to cuss her out 'cause she didn't want to come because you're here?"
I shook my head. My anger flared up again at the mention of it. "Look, I love that girl okay," I said as casually as I could, but I couldn't help the panic that came with them at the way insides twisted. "But how the hell is she gonna ask y'all," I gestured to him, "my friends, if I'm out with you and say no when she finds out I am. Where the hell else would I be? It's like she forgot I was here before her."
He leaned against the wall across from me with his arms crossed. He didn't say anything as I vented.
"And what we fought over- it wasn't even anything!" I threw my hands up, my voice raising. "It's literally the dumbest shit ever!"
"Okay." He nodded slowly. "What was it?"
I clamped my mouth shut, pursing my lips.
"Rich..." he prompted.
I looked down, feeling guilt finally creep up on me. "I... said some things."
He went quiet, waiting for me to keep going. I didn't.
"I know that, but what the hell did you say?"
I huffed and decided to throw it all out there. "I saw her with some guy, and I... I asked her if she's not tired of being called a hoe."
Thion groaned loudly. He reached up to cover his face with his hands, and tilted his head back, then leaned forward.
My lips pressed together to stop myself from spilling all the other things I said. The thing is, that wasn't the first time I've seen her with him, and every time I did, they were hardcore flirting. Most of the time, he was always a look away from reaching out to touch her. He never did, but I know he wants to.
"Man, I wanna swing on you so bad," Thion said with a disbelieving laugh. He stared at me like I was an imbecile. "Why would you do that?" His cool demeanor had long washed away, and his voice raised.
My face got hot and I scrubbed my hand against my cheek. "I don't know! I wasn't thinking and I always see them together and I just... snapped."
"And you have the fucking nerve to be mad that she doesn't wanna be around you?" he said incredulously. His voice dropped when he said, "What the hell is wrong with you?"
"I. Don't. Know! Okay?" I reached up to tug at my hair, breathing heavily. My mind reeled back to the day's events, focusing on our fight that happened just before our last class. I remembered how she looked at me when I said all those things. That guilt and regret came back again. It was tenfold this time until it felt like something rotten was inside me. I wanted to throw up. "Fuck."
"Fuck is right. Come here," Thion said, and I didn't have time to collect myself before his hand was the back of my neck, pulling me forward intimidatingly. He had to lean down to level his gaze with mine.
I was considered average height, but Thion made me rethink that every now and then when we found ourselves in times like these.
"Listen, Rich," he said lowly, "she's our girlâI don't care how much you hate hearing it. She's your girl, my girl, Nate's, Carlos', Sean's, Jess', Jules', Marinna's and every fucking body else out there, and if we weren't this cool, I would've whooped your ass."
I huffed, looking away.
"Nah, look," he patted my cheek, turning my gaze back to him and I glared at him. My fists clenched at my sides and I had to stop myself from planting my fist in his nose.
"You know," he started, "all the rumors going around about her and us, and you know she doesn't care because that shit isn't real. But deep down, you can't think that shit doesn't bother herâeven a little bit. But she doesn't need to hear that shit from us, Chris. We're the only ones she can be herself with, how you think she gon feel if you out here calling her a whore?"
I jerked away, stepping back to point at him. "I did not call her-"
"Well, you might as fucking well have," he exclaimed, throwing his arms up. "It's fucked up cause it's you, bro." He pointed at me. "Anybody else is whatever-" he waved it off, "-but it's you. You're always with her, you're closest to herâshe cares about your opinion and what you think, as much as she denies it. I'm sorry, but you just can't fuck up like everybody else if you want to keep her around. You can't make her think you're looking at her like everybody else 'cause all that's gonna show is that you don't really give a fuck about her."
I shook my head. "I wasn't thinking, and it slipped out and I said some other stuff that I shouldn't have. I've been trying to make it seem like it wasn't that big of a deal, but... I know it is and I don't know how to make up for it." I rubbed the space between my brows when an ache started building up there. "You know how much I care about herâeverybody does."
"Yeah, we do. And as much as you wanna hide it, this makes it much more obvious that you have feelings for." His voice was low and when I made a face he continued. "Don't start that shit, it's clear Rich. You can't hide it nomore, just give up."
I scoffed. "Whatever. Doesn't matter I say." But deep down, he was right. I didn't want to face it. Not with what's coming.
"It doesn't, but let me make this clear to you, Christian," he said, and I leaned back, eyeing him. He never calls me by my first name. Ever. "By midnight Monday night, you are apologizing to my girl, and if I'm not there, send me visual confirmation-"
I made a face. "Visu- what?"
"You heard what I said." He pointed at me, as he backtracked down the hall, one slow step at a time. "Send me a pictureâsmiling, kissing, on a dateâwh-"
"I'm so confused," I voiced.
He went on like I hadn't spoken. "Or come Tuesday morning, we throwin' down in school and I'm making up some bullshit story to get us both suspended. After that, I'm coming over to your house and ima tell your mother why I beat your ass and got you suspended."
Had to hand it to him, he knew how to make threats. He knew three of the worse things that could happen to me was getting suspended, expelled, or my mom finding out I did something that's on her 'fuck no' list.
"There's no need to get my mother involved," I said, holding my hands up. "I thought you had that whole 'I don't snitch' thing going on? What happened to that?"
He stopped and stared at me. "I don't fight my friends either, but you crossed a line," he said. "I wouldn't think it would be you, and I'm disappointed, Rich."
Despite feeling ashamed, I still said, "You're not my father, Nathion."
He pointed at me again, his grin slipping back on easily. "But I'm daddy."
"Yes, you are," came from down the hall.
My eyebrows raised and I tilted my head to see behind him. Three girls left the bathroom the same time he'd said that, and the other two laughed at their friend who grinned flirtatiously.
My eyes caught Jess walking down the hallway, typing away. I stood next to Thion when the rest of their eyes zoned in on me.
I smiled out of politeness, the same time Thion said, "Babyyyy."
My grin came easier as Jess looked up from her phone.
She eyed him. "So, you're daddy?" she said, making it obvious she heard.
"Talkin' like you don't know," he eyed her.
I shook my head with a laugh, leaving them to their flirting banter. I would love to have the restraint he doesâbeing able to be as close to our girl friends as he does and not getting too attached to a specific one.