Grammarly keeps trying to change Thion's name to 'then' and his full name to some other fuckshit, and I'm like "Can you leave my mans alone, please? Thanks. Unoriginal mf."
This was a last-minute thing so I didn't get to make an announcement. I'm sure it's fine though.
Leave me some comments. xoxo
â¤â â¤
For some reason, after I walked into the packed house, everyone at the door got hype, and eventually, the whole first room was cheering. But that could also be because Thion walked in behind me. If it's not obvious, he's very well-known around our school, but his name goes around more in the upperclassmen range.
The music wasn't at an obnoxious volume, but it was loud enough that anyone could hear the low bass from the porch. High schoolers stood around in groups, most of them either holding plastic cups or beer bottles loosely in their grips. As we went deeper into the house, along the way, I saw that one or two corners of the house, puffs of smoke floated in the air.
The lights were dim, and I appreciated that not the whole senior and junior class was invited, or there wouldn't be space to move at all.
Nate, Thion, Heath, and I maneuvered around people easily, greeting people as we went, and my eyes searching...
"They're not here yet," Heath said. He was next to me and probably saw me craning my neck not so subtly.
Heath was a part of our extended group and shared Pre-Calc with me, Thion, and Ari. I say extended group because as much as we're friends and knew each other through every stage in our lives, he wasn't always with our knit circle. I suppose that doesn't make him not a friend- he's just not as close as the others but he gets the same treatment anyway.
I gave him a look and he chuckled, looking away from me with a smug grin.
"Really, no one asked you," I said.
He laughed and held his hands up. "What I say?"
I couldn't help but smile in amusement, shaking my head.
Miraculously, we came across an empty couch and I plopped down heavily, not hesitating to kick my feet up on the coffee table sitting in front of me. I threw my head back on the back of the couch and let my arm rest along it the same time Thion sat a couple spaces away. He already had a joint between his lips, his hand cupping around the end as he brought a lighter up to it.
"Couldn't wait, could you?" I mused, smirking and shaking my head.
"Look," he said, his voice muffled as he pulled the lighter away and tossed it to Heath who'd pulled up a barstool from somewhere and sat across from us. "It's been three months since I've smoked, and five since I got good shit. Let me have this."
I chuckled, shrugging. "It's all yours."
I let my eyes skim the room multiple times, looking for familiar faces. Or one per se. I had no clue if Ari was going to show up because on our way here, I never asked, and no one brought it up. With what happened last night, I'm sure Thion wasn't looking to ease my mind either.
Good news is, he saw me worthy to have my phone back by the end of our hang out session, and I texted Ari when I got into my car. Bad news: she didn't respond. I think I texted her five times and she didn't even open them, but I know she got them.
Something cold landed on my lap and I looked down at a beer bottle nestled on top of my thighs.
"You need it," Nate said, pointing at me.
I made a face but took it up. "Funny," I retorted, bringing it up to my mouth to take the cap off with my teeth.
Nate got an empty beanbag that sat against the wall not too far away and brushed his hand over the surface to swipe away some crumbs before he turned around and dropped himself on it, sighing.
I sipped my beer every other minute or so, not in a rush for anything, until I blurted out, "I texted Ari last night." All heads turned to me and it took me a moment to meet their eager eyes. I told Nate and Heath earlier what had happened between her and me. Suffice to say I had a migraine after.
"Did you apologize?" Theon said, leaning forward.
I pressed my lips together. "Well... not e-" They all cut me off by groaning loudly and falling back in their respective seats. "What!"
"What you do? Ask her how she's liking the weather after you called her a h-"
"I did not call her that!" I almost snapped at Heath, but I definitely glared.
He made a face as if it didn't make a difference. "Might as well have," he said.
Thion gestured to him in agreement. "Exactly my point."
"Okay, I'll be the one to say this." It was Nate's turn to lean forward. "You know you have a serious problem when it comes to apologizing sometimes, right?"
I stare at him before saying, "I apolo-"
"I didn't say you didn't," he cuts in. "Just that you have a problem. There's a difference."
"You kind of do, man."
I rolled my eyes. "So, I'm supposed to apologize to her through text message?" I retorted, trying to push down my irritation by taking a gulp of my beer now.
"Honestly, that would've been better than whatever the hell you sent her," Heath said. "I bet you didn't bring the whole thing up at all. Last thing you wanna do is act like it didn't happen, man. Trust me."
"That's what you did isn't it?" Thion said when I didn't say anything, letting out a string of smoke from his nostrils.
I took a much longer drink this time. Maybe tonight's the night to get drunk after all. I really doubt she's going to be here anyway.
"I swear to God, I'm fighting you Tuesday morning," Thion said and I gave him a blank stare. "Keep pushing it and it'll happen tonight." He'd said it so casually while taking a long drag that most would think he was kidding.
"Nathion, I'm really not scared of you, man," I told him. And I wasn't. I admit that he can be intimidating because... y'know it's him. I've seen the guy blackout, but I'm not scared of him.
He turned to me and moved in close, the joint pinched between his thumb and forefinger. He hissed in a breathed before turning his head to blow out the smoke, then turned back to me.
"Hey man, I'm not saying this to be an asshole, cool?" he said. My eyes narrowed fractionally. He nodded. "I'm serious. I'm just pissed and instead of just fighting you- saying it makes me not do it right away."
I shook my head but couldn't stop myself from chuckling.
"It's just- how could you say that to her?" he emphasized.
My smile died and I threw my head back to rest on the couch. "I don't know," I said so low, I doubt he heard me.
His hand gripped my shoulder, but I didn't take my eyes off the ceilingâdeep in thought. "Anybody else, sure- whatever. But her? How?"
Groaning, I sat up and turned to him. I squeezed his cheeks between my hand, leaning in to look him in the eyes as I said slowly, "I do not know." I dropped my hand and sat back, feeling that guilt wrench my insides again. "I just..." I shook my head, my mind going back to what had happened. "I just saw her with that dude-"
"What dude?" Heath asked.
I gave him a look. "You know who I'm talking about."
There's only one guy outside of our group that I see her talking to regularlyâone guy that I don't know. And it's not just me, I know they know who I'm talking about because we've all seen them together... multiple times. I've just gotten so sick of it, and it makes my skin itch.
"Jared?" Nate said.
I turned to him, making a face, "Whoever the fuck he is." I frowned when he smiled mockingly and took a slow sip of his beer. "What?"
He shrugged and I turned back to the other two who had the same look. Thion wasn't looking at me but Heath was. Either way, I didn't like their faces.
"Can we get rid of the looks?" I said irritably. Their expressions got worse and I was about to leave when we were bombarded.
Familiar faces filled our small space. I moved over when Julia plopped down in the space between me and Thion. The couch was on the smaller side so we were already snug, forcing Jess to sit on the arm of the couch next to Thion.
He leaned back and looked up at her, saying something lowly that made her roll her eyes with a laugh.
"Whoops."
I leaned back quickly when Marianna practically fell on my lap, laughing.
I choked, holding back my own. "Are you okay?"
She tilted her head back a little too loosely and I watched her in amusement. "Peachy!" she said, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and grinning.
She's drunk.
"How long have you been here exactly to be drunk already?" I mused, leaning back with my arm on the back of the couch again.
"Well," Julia started, leaning under my arm, "some people decided to take shots before we got here."
I smirked, turning my eyes back to Marianna who'd just kicked her legs up on top of Jules and Nathion, crossing her ankles.
"Everyone else seems fine," I said, my eyes taking in everyone else that came with them. Even my neighbors were hereâminus Amie.
I stopped when my gaze went by Nate. Sean stood next to the beanbag with his arms wrapped around Carlos's chest who stood in front of him. Only, what my eyes were glued on was Ari cuddled up next to Nate on the beanbag.
Her arm was wrapped around his torso and something uncomfortable fluttered in my stomach when she rubbed her nose against his cheek and muttered something that made him laugh around the beer bottle pressed against his lips.
"Please tell me she's drunk," I blurted out before I could even think about it. I mostly said it to myself, well it wasn't supposed to come out at all, but my life hasn't been easy for a while.
I felt Julia shift, but I couldn't take my eyes off her. She was practically wrapped around him and it had me questioning if she was only doing it to get back at meâfor what I'd said.
"Yeah..." Jules drawled out, "no... not even a little bit."
I couldn't even focus on the fact that she's actually at a party right now, just that she's... doing that. With my best friend. It shouldn't bother me at all because I know she's an affectionate person, we all kind of areâhence Marianna sitting on me right now. It wasn't anything deep and I knew that, but that didn't mean I could control how it made me feel.
I didn't realize Jules was calling me until I felt her hand on my face, turning my gaze back to hers. "Can you be more obvious?" she retorted. "Go talk to her."
"I don't think she wants-"
"Chris," she almost sang my name, moving my face back and forth with her hand. "She told us what happened and if I didn't love you, my heel would be so far up your ass right now it would puncture your trachea."
I grimaced, leaning back and making her hand fall from my face. "Everyone's just attacking me tonight."
She huffed and ran a hand through her dirty blond hair. "It's just so hard to believe you'd say something like that to her. Y'know with who she is and who you are. She's such a great person Chris and that wasn't fair."
"I know!" I said loudly, and Marianna jerked, startled. If it was any other situation, I probably would've laughed. I reach up to rub my hand down my face. "Fuck," I said to myself, frustrated.
I felt all their eyes on me, and I wasn't looking forward to being a victim to their disappointment anymore. I know I did something wrong and I don't need all the threats and people making me feel worse than I already do.
I took hold of Marianna's hips and lifted her as I got up. I sat her back down in my spot before leaving the groupânot meeting any of their eyes.
The turnouts are always great reasons to go to any of Shannon's parties. They're never overly crowded. And that's why I got to the back of the house in no time.
There were only one or two people on the back porch. A couple was making out on a chair and a different guy sat on the railing on the other side, nursing a beer and a cigarette. I made my way past them toward the edge of the yard. One of the best things about Shannon's place is that her backyard led into the forest. They used to have a fence back when we were younger, I remember because we all came here for parties all the time, but her parents took it down as she got older.
Mostly it was up so that she or her dog, Pepe, didn't wander into the woods, but she convinced them it was 'limiting' and now there's a track that leads into the forest for a couple of miles.
Right at the edge, was a huge oak tree with her treehouse a couple feet up. And just at the base was a hammock. Yeah, it shows that we had some great times over here when we were younger. It was always fun hanging out with Shannon but the second I caught on that she was pushing to me a little more than everybody else, I kind of just started to distance myself. For the both of us.
I made my way to my favorite placeâthe hammockâand lowered myself onto it, leaning back as far as I could and tilted my head up to the sky. It was the only thing that made me keep my calmâstaring at the endless twinkling lights in the darkness, and the breeze blowing lightly, lathering my skin.
I closed my eyes and breathed. This was too complicated, and I just wanted it all... to stop. The last thing I wanted to do was feel like I hated my friends and wanted to be as far away from them as possible. It's not like I don't get why they're angry at meâhell, I'm angry at meâI'd just like for someone to give me time to work up to what I'm supposed to do, because I know what to do.
The whole thing was just me being a dumbass and I didn't need anyone to tell me that. Just like I know that running from it wouldn't solve anything either. I just needed space to breathe.
"Hey."
Embarrassingly enough, I knew that voice was familiar but that's when I noticed I was dozing off. I ignored them, not in the mood for anyone right now, and kept my gaze on the sky. My eyelids getting heavier.
"You can at least answer," she said. "Only reason I'm out here is because unlike you, I care about your feelings."
That more than woke me up, and I sat up, rubbing my eyes.
Ari was standing in front of me, her arms crossed. Only it was more in an insecure, defensive way than it was angry or defiant. I hated it.
"Haven't been sleeping lately?" she tried to say lightly, but it came out wrong, and so did her forced smile.
I shook my head. "Don't do that?"
Her laugh was low but empty. "What? Care?"
"Act like you're fine," I said lowly, feeling my throat tickle uncomfortably. "Scream at me, be madâshow me that you're angry."
She shook her head, looking down at her shoes. When she looked up again, she didn't meet my eyes when she spoke. "Not angry. But..." She dug the toe of her shoe into the grass absentmindedly. Her voice came out lower when she finished speaking. "You hurt me, Chris. Because you..." She stopped when her voice shook.
"Ari-"
"Wait," she said softly, but still didn't meet my gaze. "I just don't understand... what I did..."
I closed my eyes tightly, feeling like the biggest asshole on the face of the Earth. An asshole with chest pains. "You didn't do anything."
"Okay," she said, her voice still low, making me feel a lot more guilty. If there's one thing I noted about Ari, it was that when she's really hurt or angry, she doesn't get loud. It's a vulnerability that I don't see often, and I don't want toânot when she feels like this.
"But you know what everyone's... been saying about me," she continued, her voice shaking again. "And the only reason I never cared is because I wasn't going to let anyone tell me how I'm supposed to be. But when you hear rumors about you being a whore going around all the time and you're still a fucking virgin it's... obviously it's not going to feel good." She spoke slowly, like it was hard getting it all out and her hands kept moving with every word.
"And I was fine for the most part," she went on, still not meeting my eyes. "I was fine because I had amazing friends who didn't judge me and made it okay. Then you..." her bottom lip trembled, and I felt my heart drop. "You basically just threw all of that in my face just because I was talking to a guy? As if I'm actually sleeping with all of you, and I have to hide something." She dipped her head, but it was after I saw the tears running down her cheeks.
"Ari, I-"
"The worst part is I never had friends like this before you, and I genuinely felt like I didn't have to hide any part of myself because... of you." She wiped her cheeks quickly before looking up at me, blinking rapidly. "And this probably doesn't even make sense, but I just never expected you out of everybody to judge me, that's all. And now I'm just questioning everything. I tried to act like I didn't care what you said, but I do, because you said it."
"I know," I said, finally getting up from the hammock and walking over to her, "I was a complete asshole who just got jealous and I don't know why my first instinct was to hurt you- but I swear I didn't mean to," I shook my head, reaching for her hand. She shook her head, locking her hands tighter around her body and dropping her gaze again. My heart pounded painfully in my chest at the action; of her closing off from me. "Baby, I'm sorry. You know I didn't mean any of it."
"I don't want you to call me that anymore," she said lowly.
I let out a breathless laugh, but I was nowhere near amused. It was that laugh where I knew I messed up bad this timeâthat everything was going to change after this, and it was my fault.
The laugh left as quick as it came, followed by my desperation. The last thing I wanted was to lose herâeven a little bit. "Ari, please," I said, not being able to even out my breathing. "What do I have to do to show you how sincerely sorry I am?"
She shook her head. "I know you are, but it's just better if I just... kept my distance and actually be friends with you guys instead of doing all the other stuff that isn't exactly in the friend book," she said. "Especially with you."
"No," I shook my head, trying to push back my panic. "Who gives a fuck what they think?"
"Well you're one of them," she said, her voice rising a little for the first time since we started this conversation. "And believe it or not, I actually do... care about what you think." She didn't wait for me to speak before she started again. "And they're your friends so-"
"Now you're disowning them?" I retorted. "After I've been threatened and insulted constantly in the past two days? You don't get to disown those people, they love you more than they do me," I told her and pathetically my heart sored at the small twitch that passed her lips.
She shook her head. "No, they don't." She moved one of her hands to rub her arm. It wasn't cold out, but the breeze was a little cool, and that was enough for me to pull my sweater over my head.
I was left in my T-shirt and when I moved toward her with it, she whined, stepping back and shaking her head.
"No. Chris, I'm fine."
"Take it? Please?" I asked, just seeing that she's in loose jeans shorts and a crop top. No wonder she's cold.
She stood still with a defeated sigh and let me place the sweater over her head carefully, trying my best not to mess up her hair. She pushed her arms through the sleeves as I pulled the bottom down until it fell to her mid-thigh.
"Better?" I asked, watching her pull the sleeves up until her fingers poked out.
She nodded, muttering, "Thanks."
"Ari, I'm really sorry," I apologized again. I took her hand before she could object and pressed it against my chest, letting her feel how fast my heart was beating. It was the cheesiest thing, but I wanted her to know how scared I was to lose her. "I am. You don't have to forgive me, but can I make it up to you somehow?"
She looked away with a nervous, dry laugh. "There's nothing to make up for. This is necessary."
"No, it's not." I shook my head. "The last thing I ever want to do is make you feel insecure or change you. I want you to be comfortable, Ari. I'm a fucking idiot, I think we can both agree to that. I guess you could say I was a jealous husband."
She threw her head back, groaning and whining. "Honestly, stop."
"I can't," I told her, my voice dropping to a whisper. "I can't lose you."
"You're not losing me," she said incredulously.
I nodded. "I feel like I am."
She lets out a heavy breath and I really hated how hesitant she was before she took my other hand. She shook her head, squeezing my hand and pressing her other firm against my chest. "You're not. Okay?" Her eyebrows raised, waiting for my response but I didn't have one. "Now let's just quit being so dramatic about it."
When she left me standing there, I knew something changed though. She reassured me that she'd still be our friend, the situation wasn't so drastic to where she'll stop talking to us altogether, but I knew it was all going to change, and I had to do something. It was a shift in our relationship, one I knew I was going to have to work hard to get back.
This was definitely going to be a crossfaded night.
When I went back inside, I went straight for the kitchen, just in time for when they started doing shots.
"Are you okay?"
"What?" I turned around because that sounded really close to me.
I don't know how long I was in the kitchen, but after a passed joint, three shots of vodka and two chugged beers, my vision was barely hazy, but a couple more and I might get where I needed to be.
It was Shannon. This was the first time I was seeing her since I came. She had a platter leveled by her shoulder with one hand and I couldn't help but smirk at it.
"I know you're not serving these kids," I retorted.
She laughed. "No, just my friends. We needed shots for truth or dare, wanna join?" She moved past me with a mischievous smile.
My eyebrows furrowed as I scoffed. "Truth or dare? What are we twelve?"
"It's not so bad visiting childhood every once in a while. Maybe you should try it sometime," she said over her shoulder.
We got to the group and I spotted some familiar faces along with not so much. At first glance, I knew Nate, Jules, and Carlos were there.
Shannon passed the platter to someone who set it in the middle of the makeshift circle, then she turned back to me.
"Seriously, are you okay?"
I eyed her skeptically. "Why?"
She looked away for a second before moving closer to me. She lowered her voice when she spoke again. "I saw you two," she said but had to elaborate. "Outside?" That I understood. She nodded. "It looked pretty heavy and then you came in here and tried to replace the 70% of water in your body with vodka, so, I'm just worried that's all."
That sobered me up, and an unsettling feeling was in my stomach again. I felt like throwing up and a throb started at the back of my head.
"It's nothing," I shook my head. "Really, it's fine, Shannon, don't worry about it." I pushed past her before she could start talking again and took the first open space in the circle.
I sat next to some chick and a guy I've seen one or two times before. I reached for a shot and downed it without a second thought. I really wanted to go numb tonight.
"Rough night, Rich?"
I ignored that and let out a breath, cringing at the burn in my throat. I leaned forward, resting my elbow on my bent knee. "Where's the bottle?"
On cue, someone placed an empty beer bottle in the middle of the floor where the platter once was. Now, two shots sat in front of each person in the circle, including me. As the bottle whistled, spinning, my eyes went around the group they stopped on the last person I thought would be anywhere near this circle.
Ari was sitting on the floor, leaning back against the couch. She wasn't in the circle, telling me she wasn't playing, which is great, but I could see her clearly in the space between Jess and Heath.
She was staring right at me, hardly blinking. She held my gaze for a couple of seconds before mouthing, "You okay?"
Her knees were pulled up partially, her feet flat on the floor, and her arms crossed. Somewhere between Friday and tonight, she took her braids out and now her hair was let out, framing the sides of her round face, and two cornrows replacing her bangs. She was beautiful and it killed me to see the sadness in her eyes.
I nodded, looking away when people started cheering. The bottle had stopped on Yvonne. She wasn't a friend of mine, but we've had multiple classes over the years for me to at least be able to put a name to her face.
Minutes passed and shots were taken when people didn't want to spill a certain truth or do a certain dare, and my spirits lifted a little with each that were put out there and the ridiculous things some people did. To be honest, I only felt better because I could see Ari smiling and grinningâeach of them more genuine than the last.
But then the bottle stopped on me.
The cheering was louder than it needed to be this time and I shook my head, smiling. My eyebrows raised at the guy who spun the bottle. "Truth," I said, leaning back against my hands.
Whistles and "oouuu"s went around and I rolled my eyes, smiling at Ari when she lowered her head, laughing.
"All right, Rich," he said, Donovan his name was. A junior on the football team. The twinkle in his eyes told me he was going to dangerous territory with the question in his head. "When was the last time you got laid?" Those noises started up again, but he quieted them down with, "And who was it?"
"That's two questions," I pointed out.
It was his turn to roll his eyes. "Aight, who was the last person who got you laid?"
That's a weird way to word it, but okay. If he wanted to know who it was, which I'm sure as hell he just wanted me to expose Ari, he should've just asked that first.
"That's a... weird way to put it..." Julia said, pulling a face, and some people laughed lowly. It's true.
"He knows what I'm saying," Donovan said, sounding irritated now.
Smirking, I sat up with a sigh and reached for a shot.
"Boooo!"
I took up a small glass, glancing around at them. My friends were smiling, some knowingly and others a little relieved. They really thought Ari and I were sleeping together. I shook my head with a laugh, but my eyes fell on Ari again. Once again, she was staring at me, only this time a smile was on her lips.
The thing was, I was going to answer, I just figured I needed the shot for what's coming after that.
A lot of people don't know that I've never been with anyone, even most of my friends, they all just assume because of how long I was with my last girlfriend that I gave it up a long time ago. But staring at Ari, I know that admitting this to everybody would make her life easier, at least a little. She wouldn't want me to expose it for her sake, but I'm not ashamed of it. I know I'm going to be made fun of, but like I said, it'll make her life easier.
"I'm a virgin," I declared, my eyes on hers. I briefly caught her jaw dropping before I downed the shot.
I focused on the burn in my throat and not the excitement going around for a minute.
"You're lying."
I looked up, blinking a couple times and breathing deeply as I tried to get rid of the taste in my mouth. I shook my head and pointed at myself. "Never had sex. Shocker."
I watched them all look around at each other, dumbfounded. Except for my friends who were either staring at me blankly or gaping. I smiled at them, hearing the whispers go around. I think I just broke the game...
"Wait, you're serious?" Carlos said, his voice rising.
"Ask her. She knows." I gestured to Ari and everyone turned to her. I smiled in amusement when she got flustered.
She snapped her mouth shut, looking away from me and glancing around at them. "Well- I- Chris." She turned back to me, her eyes wide. I smiled. "Why are you..."
"So, it's true?" Donovan pushed.
Ari looked back over at him. "Yeah, but-"
"You've never had sex?" That was Shannon. She leaned forward, eyebrows raised.
"No, he hasn't but can we move on?" Nate jumped in, holding up his hands and looking around.
"And you knew?" Julia pointed at him.
Nate shrugged, nonchalant. "Yeah. Most of you kind of just assumed he has. And... it's not my place to say otherwise."
"And now that it's out," I cut in, grinning at all their still shocked faces. "Let's keep that in mind when we assume about other things." I looked around suggestively. They knew what I was saying.
I reached out and spun the bottle. When I sat back, my gaze went to Ari again. Keeping my eyes away from her was a problem I had. Her smile widened when I winked at her and she shook her head and mouthed something along the lines of, "you're stupid."
But the greatest thing happened as the bottle slowed to a stopâpointing at the space right between Jess and Heath.
All eyes turned to Ari and I grinned widely. If this isn't a sign...
She stared at the bottle for a moment before she shook her head, forcing a laugh, looking around. "No," she said, shaking her hands, "I'm not even playing. Spin it again."
Then she had to endure everyone whining about her going "just one time."
I suppressed a laugh and reached into my pocket to get my phone, and immediately opened Snapchat. Her thread was at the top, of course. We've been holding our streak for months. I wasn't a big fan of the thing but seeing her face every morning is a true blessing, even when she hasn't cared to get rid of her drool.
I took a picture of the bottle:
'Truth or dare, babe'
I knew I was pushing it, but it shouldn't be a big deal through text, right?
"Guys, no," she said, shaking her head, and took her phone hidden in her lap.
I kept my eyes on her as she stared at her phone and everyone kept whining. Her eyes moved up to me seconds later and I tilted my head challengingly. No matter how mad she was at me, the last thing she'll do is back down.
Her eyes fell back to her phone and she started typing. A second later my phone chimed.
â¡Ariaaaaaâ¡
'Truth'
I stopped myself from smiling too wide as I replied.
'You sure about that?' I bit my lip, quickly typing out: 'This can go a lot of ways'
"Are they... texting right now?" I heard someone say. They'd all calmed down and were probably looking between the two of us.
"They're sitting right across from each other!"
'Who knows what you'll make me do. I think I'll stay on the safe side.'
'Final chance to change your mind...'
"Truth."
Another round of cheers came through along with some "boooo"s from people who wanted her to pick dare.
I smirked at her. She was trying so hard to hold back her smile and I adored the look. She still sat leaning back against the couch, arms crossed, and legs stretched out in front of her now, crossed at her ankles.
I tilted my head side to side slowly, teasingly, as if I was going through all the questions I wanted to ask her and was looking for the right one. Her smile slipped and she let out a small laugh while everyone else pushed me to "ask the question already!"
After another long minute of just staring at her, I held up my hand and they took the universal sign as a symbol for them to quiet down.
Leaning forward, my voice came out lower than I intended when I spoke. "Will you..." I trailed off, finding the words in my head for what I wanted to ask.
"Marry me?" someone finished, eliciting a round of laughter. I let out a sharp laugh myself.
Ari grinned, not taking her eyes off mine, and hell if that didn't set my skin on fire.
I cleared my throat, speaking louder this time. "Will you ever forgive me?"
It was probably Julia who cooed at that, and out of my periphery, I saw Jess place a hand on her chest pathetically. I swear, my friends do not need to be so dramatic.
"Wait, what he do?"
Ari's expression changed but only into a look that said: "Really, Chris?" When she saw that I wasn't saying it to be funny, her features softened, and she smiled again. It was smaller this time, but it was there.
"Before you leave?" she said, looking away briefly. I knew she was talking about me leaving for college. "Probably." Just her mannerisms alone told me she was jokingâit told me that she wouldâthat she probably already has.
"What about in a couple of days?" I said.
Her eyes squinted but her lips tipped up at the sides. "That's two questions," she mocked.
I shrugged. "It's a follow-up. It hardly counts as its own."
She sighed, loudly and dramatically, rolling her neck. "I don't know. Depends on how I feel about you in the next couple of days."
"And how do you feel about me now?"
Suggestive sounds went around the circle and I saw that people had gathered outside the circleâeating up all the drama.
She blushed. I could tell she was because she said my name and dipped her head to cover her face with her hands.
"This is getting out of hand," Nate said.
I held my hand out to him, not looking away from her. "This has nothing to do with the game. Gimme a sec-" I got up, stepping over the bottle and practically over my two friends sitting in my way of her.
"Man, what're you doing?"
"You're messing up the game!"
Ari looked up with wide eyes, shaking her head and mouthing, "No." She'd sat up more, pulling her knees up to her chest as I stopped in front of her. I lowered myself to my knees, placing my hand on one of her knees. They pressed against my chest when I got closer. "Are you drunk?"
I smirked, shaking my head. "I hate when you're actually mad at me."
She looked down. "We talked about it already. We're fine-"
"But we're not. I shouldn't be asking you for anything right now," I said lowly, "but I'd really love if you'd stop acting like we are."
"We can be," she lets out a laugh that's only half genuine. "You're just guilty and want me to hate you. Then you want me to forgive you at the same time- I know you have to be drunk." She leaned forward, sniffing. "Were you smoking too?"
"Because you're so... forgiving all the time except when you're playing around. But the things I said..."
"You smoke?"
"I just want us to be okay and I feel like every minute I'm not apologizing or doing something to show that I'm sorry, it's like what I said to you was okay and it's not."
"Was it good?"
"Ariana." I laughed.
She laughed too. "I'm just asking."
I slid one of my hands down the front of her leg until I curled it around her calf, massaging her skin.
"Can you... not rub me down?" she said lowly. I stopped my movements, smirking. She breathed heavily and leaned in so close I could smell mint on her breath. "What you said wasn't okay," she started, holding my gaze. "And... I'm still kind of affected by it- stop." She smacked my shoulder lightly when I started massaging her leg againâmoving my hand up and down.
"Sorry. Reflex."
She shook her head and laughed. "We really shouldn't be talking about this here, but um... you said something that hurt but that doesn't mean I'm gonna hate you forever, Chris. So, can you go back to playing your game and we can talk about this later?"
My eyes dropped to her mouth and she shook her head.
"Don't even," she said, but she was smiling. "Not here."
My eyes snapped up to her face. "So, there's a chance..."
She rolled her eyes. "My God, can you leave me alone." She leaned back again.
That wasn't a no, and I'll take it.
Smiling, I pushed myself back, squeezing my hand around her leg one more time, before I got up.
"Finally!"
I shook my head as I got back in my spot. "You know, you guys could've just kept playing."
"No, we need her to spin the bottle," the guy next to me gestured to Ari.
"I'm not playing," she said, her voice getting higher. She looks around at the circle in disbelief.
"Yeah, but can you just... spin it?" Donovan said, pointing at the still bottle. She scoffed with a laugh, shaking her head. "Just choose someone to ask the question," he said.
"Okay," she sighed. She got up on her knees, holding her phone in one hand and pulling down the ends of my sweater down her thighs again. She waddled to the space between our two friends and forced herself between them on her stomach with a grunt.
I smiled as everyone laughed at her action. She reached out and before she even touched the bottle, said, "I've never done this before so..." she looked around briefly before looking back at the bottle. "Hide your faces or something."
Grinning, I watched her fail on the first couple of triesâlaughing with everyone else when the bottle would just skid out of place and land somewhere across the circle.
With her tongue peeking out the corner of her mouth in concentration, she got it on the fifth try. Her triumphant grin was heavenly, and I wanted more than anything to kiss her.