Chapter 62: ♤Chapter 49♤

Please excuse all my excessive errors or anything that doesn't add up and enjoy this long ass chapter.

I don't have as much time to go over it another day and update but I did my best on it.

♤♠♤

On prom day, the students who were going only went to school for a half-day. Most seniors didn't even come to school. Yesterday, Thursday, had been their last day for finals and Friday was for makeups. Hopefully, no one had to make up a test that went past noon.

The girls and I were going to Jess's house to get ready for the night. My mom even took off work to bring my stuff over and help put my mess of a self together.

I still hadn't gotten to see my dress, but I knew they found one. I saw my mom come home with a huge box last night and when I'd ask her what it was, she'd ignored me. I hadn't gotten to try it on nor do I know what kind of dress it was—not even the color.

Jess told me her, her mom, my mom, Mar, and Jules went out to finish the whole shopping thing without me when I texted her. And yes, they'd found 'the perfect dress', according to her.

I've been hoping and praying, ever since Tuesday when Jess brought up that they found dresses, that they wouldn't buy crap to stuff me in. I knew Jess wouldn't do me wrong, but my mom... I don't know.

At twelve-thirty, they let us out while the girls said they need to do more shopping. I had no clue what they were getting again but Jess promised to get makeup in my shade if they needed it. After promising to see them soon, I went with Chris.

The guys had it easier. While us girls are going to be pampered and puffed up for hours, down until the last minute, they were going to Chris's house to play videogames. Videogames!

There was no way Chris and I were going to get to- hang out. We were planning on hanging out at his place for a little bit before they came barging in for me but that wasn't happening.

It's been about two weeks since our first time. I loved thinking that. But I found that the whole 'practice' thing really works. And now we were practically obsessed with each other. I didn't think we were doing a good job at hiding it because even I can feel the tension every single time we're anywhere together. But no one's said anything—no one's pointed it out—yet still, I didn't want to jinx it.

I couldn't wait until after prom for us to be alone, not with what I was expecting this evening. I was going to be forced in a chair and get plucked and waxed and have makeup put on me. Lord knows I was going to be winded all the way up.

Chris was parked on the side of the highway we'd taken. He'd planned to stop by Chipotle to get food for the guys before going home and I was complaining the whole time.

Somewhere in my rant he'd pulled over and leaned across the console to kiss me until I couldn't remember where I was. Then his hand went down my yoga pants. Minutes later we were driving again, and I couldn't even get my mind together let alone open my mouth to say something.

"Feeling better?" I could hear the smile and smugness in his voice and usually, I'd retort but like I said, my brain was mush. I needed another minute or two.

He chuckled when I didn't say anything. I closed my eyes as my breathing slowed and I tried to stop my shaking legs.

He'd gotten more confident with each time we messed around and it wasn't a bad thing. It was great actually. It took us about the third try to get things right and every time after that was soul snatching. And it's been a few times.

Even with how much we went at it, both of us still couldn't believe we were actually doing all the crap we'd been doing. We felt guilty at first for lying and going against our moms. Because come on, we weren't just kissing anymore, we went all the way without telling anyone. And we were in for it if anyone found out.

But he felt so good. He basically carried condoms everywhere now because we just couldn't stop. We both knew it was risky, but we took precautions. All I do when I'm alone now is sit around and daydream about our rendezvous. I couldn't believe I was a sex-frenzied teenager. It was kind of hard to fathom.

"Hey." A nudge on my thigh had me forcing my eyes open. "Talk to me, baby." His hand curled around the inside of my thigh and squeezed gently.

I hummed, turning my head to him and forcing my eyes to stay open. "I'm fine." He glanced at me for a second then looked back at the road. He took the next exit as I said, "I thought you said you were quitting fast food. You were doing great so far."

"Strictly for the guys. I'm sticking to my 'no takeout' diet."

"Even when you go to college?"

"Especially when I got to college," he emphasized.

Once I got my limbs to start moving again, I took out my phone and let Chris start talking about all the furniture he already got for his apartment. Then he started explaining what he had left on his list and I looked them up. We made a game out of it. He'd describe what he was looking for and I would search for them and show him what I found.

It was almost two when he parked on the side of the road close to Jess's house. There were already a few cars in the wide driveway and against the curb.

I turned to him with a pout. "Don't let me go."

He smiled, reaching up to rest his hand on the side of my neck and brushing his thumb under my jaw. "Never."

An uncontrollable smile broke across my face and I placed my hand on his, circling his wrist. "You're so corny." He probably saw that it melted my insides anyway. I turned my head to take the tip of his thumb between my teeth gently. "I should go. They have to do something with my hair and I still don't know what I want so it's going to take a while."

That was most likely going to be the worst part of the night. Up until yesterday, I wanted to wear my hair natural and now I have no choice because the styles I wanted were going to take longer than six hours and I don't have that kind of time anymore.

I didn't even do anything to it this morning for school. I wrapped it up in a turban and called it a day.

Chris grinned at my covered head and nodded. "You can go like that." I snorted but I knew he was being genuine.

When he saw me today the first thing he said was, "I love seeing you in these" even though I don't wear them out often.

"I would love to," I said, teasing. His thumb brushing across my bottom lip for a second. "But I want my hair out."

He shrugged nonchalantly. "Just providing an alternative that looks great with a lot less pain."

I tried really hard not to smile at him. I really tried.

"We'll see."

I didn't stay long after that. We said our byes and he gave me the support and encouragement I needed to walk into the house ready for anything.

Still, I sent up a prayer—hoping for mercy.

It wasn't as torturous as I thought it would be. Once I got through the eyebrows and waxing everywhere, I was fine. Various parts of my body were on fire but it wasn't that bad. Jess and Jules made the waxing part fun since they helped me out. But after that and a shower was out of the way, we were walking around in bathrobes with towels wrapped around our hair. It was fun.

I've never done these sorts of things and I hadn't been looking forward to it, but I can't say it wasn't enjoyable.

The moms were here, helping out with hair, makeup, nails- basically everything. It felt like a spa and salon in one. I even got my nails done. It felt so weird. They weren't the really long ones though, I'm guessing they were a little over half an inch long and were painted a clear-ish, rosy looking color. I adored them. I understood the whole meaning behind 'dick grabbers' because the nails alone had me impatient for the night to be over.

The hotel prom was being held at was the same place we were staying. They said it was about an hour away and I think there was a beach involved. All I can say is, I'm very much looking forward to everything the night had to offer and I was excited.

It was around five-thirty when dresses started coming out of their hiding spots.

"This is yours." My mom placed a black garment bag on Jess's bed among the others. I eyed the carrier then looked back at her. She gave me one of her infamous looks. "Just open it."

"You didn't get me mess did you?" I said. She rolled her eyes, muttering under her breath. "I don't know, mom. You don't like me wearing certain things and you might get me a dress with a turtleneck. You know I d-"

"Seriously? Open the damn bag," she cut me off.

I looked around when I heard laughing and saw that a bunch of them had been tuning in to our side of the room. I made a show of reaching over and holding the zipper before hesitating.

"Open the bag!" That was from the girls, scaring me half to death.

I jerked, my eyes going wide. "Okay!"

The first thing I noticed was yellow. How could I not, y'know?

Then I saw that it was strapless. My eyebrows raised in surprise. Huh.

Don't jinx it yet.

I unzipped the bag all the way down and stared at the dress for a moment. It was a gown. From the top to the waist there was subtle lace sequencing that glinted gold under the bright lights of the room. I could guess who picked this one out.

I didn't speak—hardly breathed—as I eased the gown out of the bag and onto the bed so I could see the rest of it. The bottom was probably my favorite though. Halfway down the bottom of the dress, the yellow faded into a dark color. I couldn't be sure if it was black, but it was close. It looked like a really dark violet or green. It looked amazing.

All I could do was hope it fit me because I'd be upset if it didn't.

I reach up to hold my hair out of my face while using my other hand to run over the sequence of the dress.

"Do you like it?"

I looked up to see Jess grinning at me. "We got a size and a half bigger than what you used to be."

My mom hummed but it wasn't a general sound. It was one of those, "Mhmm," sounds that she dragged out when she was shading somebody. In this case—me.

My smile was wide as I nodded at Jess. I turned to my mom with a grin that was half teasing but more genuine. "I love it." I wrapped my arms around her, squeezing. She hugged me back, though. "Thank you, mommy." She hummed again, less shady this time.

"Now shoes!"

I pulled away when Jules dropped a box on the bed across from me. She opened it when I told her to since I had to brace myself.

She pulled out a pair of black, strappy-looking heels and I cringed, looking up at my mom.

"You've worn heels before," she said. As if I needed a reminder.

That doesn't mean I like them.

Despite the pending hell that awaited me, they were cute. Actually, they looked hot as hell and that alone was enough for me to be excited all over again. The second we were in the ballroom or whatever, I was taking them off, but I'm looking forward to wearing them for the short time.

I stared at myself in the mirror on Jess's vanity as I put in a pair of golden hoop earrings. My makeup was done—hiding most of my blemishes and acne, but if anyone looked close enough they'd notice. They didn't put too much makeup on me. I liked it. Especially whatever they did to my lips. They were glossy with a tinge of the same rosy color that was on my fingers and toes.

My hair was a mass of heavy curls brushing against the tops of my shoulders. There was a part on the right side where my hair was swept back by a few bobby pins but it was a bit puffy since I told them I didn't want any gel in it.

I was already in my dress, and it fit like nothing else. I was more comfortable in it than most of the clothes I owned now. The top was snug and pushed my boobs up a little. They weren't choking me but cleavage was definitely on display. And there was a slit that ran up to mid-thigh on my right leg. When I'd noticed and taunted my mom about it, what she had to say was, "You're seventeen."

I mean, I didn't think she would actually sabotage me but... cleavage and leg exposure wasn't what I expected either. I wasn't complaining, just shocked.

The bust was fitted but not skintight. Despite that, I could still see my stomach through it. That didn't bother me, but all my mom and others who were looking could talk about was how much my ass was poking out. The dress fit almost as snug back there like my chest.

If they weren't complimenting my boobs, it was my ass. It made me feel embarrassed and awkward. Personally, I didn't think my... assets were that enhanced but everyone wants to make a big deal about it.

What I loved most was that I was practically golden. They gave me gold highlights on my cheekbones, nose and anywhere else they put it. Even dusted some over my chest. I loved it! I was wearing a gold cross necklace and a few rings I borrowed from Jess. Other than that, and my earrings, I wasn't wearing any more jewelry.

I heard all the commotion going on around me but I was chillin' because I was almost done and I felt great. Everyone was getting riled up because we only had a few more minutes until the guys got here, then pictures and we'd be on our way.

Jess's parents even ordered us a limo. A fucking limo!

All our stuff had already been packed and in the trunk of the vehicle parked against the curb since we were staying at the hotel. And somewhere along the way, they'd begged for us to stay there until Sunday. It worked.

I was starting to question if my mom was okay. I felt like Chris was right; because it was so many of us and I seemed to be happy and always in good condition, she trusted them with me. She'll probably send me across the world with them if I asked.

I always thought she had someone's phone number—I highly believe it's Jess's—and texted them whenever we'd gone out. She'd text me to make sure I was okay, and I'd send her a bunch of selfies as visual confirmation. They'd hold her over every time. But now I have to second guess it.

Taking my shoes in one hand, I stooped down to grab the train of my dress as I left Jess's room. "I'm going downstairs," I called over my shoulder at the rest of the girls left in the room.

Jess was one of the first ones ready and was already downstairs. She was more than ready to go.

I bounded down the stairs, my hair rising and falling as I go, and trying not to trip on the bottom of my dress and die somehow. Who knows how much this dress cost.

The living room was more crowded than I thought it was and I forced myself not to pause and turn back around. Jess stood across the room looking like a princess and holding a bottle of water so I pushed myself forward even though I didn't know half these people.

I knew majority of them were her family plus the parents and other family members of the rest of the girls.

Jess spotted me as I walked over to an empty spot on one of the couches and grinned. I grinned back and did little dance with my shoulders before both of us laughed.

I sat down next to somebody on the couch. I wasn't sure who it was but I sat and was about to lean down to put my shoes on when something hit me. Not literally. But if I leaned over, my boobs were going to be more on display than they already were. It wasn't a big deal, but the thought didn't make me comfortable. Especially with the number of guys in the room. My bad, I meant men. Old men.

"Need some help?"

My head snapped up and I blinked a few times before getting up and throwing my arms around my dad.

He laughed and so did I. I could cry right now.

"Why do you keep doing this?" I said, smacking his arm gently. "Why don't you tell me when you're coming?"

His smile was as bright as mine. He shrugged and said playfully, "It's better this way."

I pouted. "I missed you."

Wrapping his arms around me again, he ran his hand up and down my back. "I missed you too, baby girl." He pulled away and gestured to the couch behind me. "Sit down so I can help you with your," he paused and took one of the heels from me, twisting it around, "these."

I snickered and fixed the back of my dress before doing what he said.

I slipped my feet out of my slippers and partially helped him fit the heels on me as I went through the events of today. I even flicked my nails as I showed them to him. I could tell seeing me like this made him happy but miserable. Like every other dad out there, he prefers to see me in my baggy clothes and vans because it's easier for him to ignore that I'm not a little girl anymore.

His words as he pulled me up from the couch showed that. "Why do you have to grow up?"

I smiled up at him. "I don't want you to get old either, but you will one day," I shrugged teasingly. "And I won't have anyone to carry me around anymore."

He didn't even smile and that made the moment even more sentimental and I had every intention to stop it before it turned into a tear-fest. More for me than him.

"No," I whined, grabbing his hands. "Can I just call you later and we cry about it over the phone?" I blinked a few times to get rid of my tears. I had no clue why everyone's mission was to turn me into a sappy bitch these days.

His smile came back. We hugged again, this time I was sure he'd been trying to squeeze the life out of me.

Group by group, the girls finished up and made their way downstairs. We took turns gushing over each other and I had to stop a few wandering hands from touching my hair. Unless they were trying to fix a stray strand, no one was touching it. I saw Jess even give me a knowing look after I gently pushed someone's hand away from my head while moving away. We'd been going around, meeting and talking to people I didn't know and I think it was Mar's mom that time.

They just don't understand. If they want to compliment me, I'll take it. But I don't ever go up to anyone, especially white girls, and touch their hair so I didn't like when people do it to me.

I snuck away from the whole meet and greet to go to the kitchen and make myself a sandwich. I hadn't eaten since four when somebody came through with burgers and I needed something to hold me over for the hour drive we had coming up.

There were a number of visitors lounging around but as long as they didn't talk to me I wasn't worried about anything.

I've been here enough that I didn't have to ask for food anymore and they're always stocked with the good stuff. I ignored the eyes and carefully maneuvered bread, peanut butter, ham and turkey meat, and some lettuce onto the counter.

I was placing a few leaves of lettuce on my almost done sandwich when loud laughter came from my right—the entrance of the kitchen. It didn't phase me, I'd been hearing laughing all day, so I was immune to it.

"Are you serious?"

I placed the finishing slice of bread on top of my sandwich before looking over.

My smile was instant when I leaned back, eyeing Chris as I sucked peanut butter off my thumb. "Well look at you."

He let his eyes run over me heatedly, his mouth itching up in a sexy grin. He didn't comment on my attire though—he took the time to gloat on himself, something I enjoyed.

He gripped the edges of his dark suit jacket and made a show of posing, then turning in a slow circle. I bit my lip to hide a grin.

When he turned to me again, he opened one side of his jack, showing me a strap that was attached to the waistband of his slacks and went up, over his shoulder. Suspenders. He was wearing suspenders. He had every right to push me up against this counter right now.

He knew I had a thing for guys who wore suspenders with suits. I just thought it was hot. He took it into consideration obviously.

I stared at him with my mouth hanging open, mouthing, "No."

He mouthed back, "Oh yeah," nodding with a grin. He made his way over to me slowly, both of us openly checking out the other.

He was wearing a deep, navy-blue suit with the same color tie, a black button-down shirt underneath, and shiny, black dress shoes.

Damn you, Christian Rich.

We never spoke about what we were wearing. Since I didn't know what color I was wearing or even if I was wearing a dress, he thought he should even it out by not telling me what he was wearing. I, for one, thought he'd go with the generic black suit, white shirt, blah, blah, blah, so I'm pleasantly surprised. He looked more like a businessman than a high schooler going to prom.

"Now that we're done with me," he said slowly, his eyes still exploring me, "let's talk about you."

I smiled sweetly, tilting my head. "Actually," I dragged out, glancing at my sandwich, "I'd like to eat this."

He shook his head. "No. You look," he seemed to run out of words, blinking a couple of times as he stared at me. "Oh shit," he whispered, "I can't breathe."

I choked before laughing loudly. "Shut up and pass me a knife."

He shook his head at me. "I'm over your aversion to compliments. Say thank you."

"You didn't compliment me!" I laughed.

"I'm speechless, you look like a goddess!"

I forgot there were other people in the room until a round of whistles and suggestive sounds went around. I kept my eyes on Chris, my lips pressed together against a smile. He did the same, only he smiled sheepishly. It was the cutest thing.

A second later he lifted his hand to show me a corsage. It had all my favorite colors.

"You went all out, didn't you?" I teased.

His smile was getting shyer by the second. "I didn't just get one for you to be fair," he said, shrugging as my eyebrows raised. "But I did... get this one specifically for you. I don't have a pin though." He waved the mini bouquet nonchalantly.

I stepped closer to him. He'd been keeping his distance for good reason. He'd actually gotten a lot better at it these past few days. It felt weird but he knew how to make up for it when we were alone.

"You should put it in my hair," I told him.

"Yeah?" He held it up and hesitated, so I tilted my head up and nodded. "Kay."

I watched his face as he concentrated on maneuvering the stem of the corsage in the spot where my hair was swept back. He made sure it was secure, then a smile crossed his lips.

"Perfect," he said softly.

"You smell like how heaven would if I was actually getting in."

He grinned, an uncontrollable laugh slipping past his lips. "It's settled then—we're both going to hell?"

I made a face. "Hell yeah."

In the next few minutes, he'd gotten me the knife I'd asked for and I cut my sandwich and gave him half of it. Because it's Chris... he's as much of a fatass as I am, he just worked out.

Then our friends came in, saw us stuffing our faces, and made fun of us. We went out and took a thousand photos. Somehow, someone got me and Chris in a couple of photos by ourselves saying "technically" we were each other's dates since I asked him to go with me. Not a lot of people knew that, so we both had to endure being put on the spot.

It was after seven when we got out of our families' clutches and filed into the limo to get on the road.

My mom had stopped me for an extended lecture, which my dad participated in this time. Okay, he didn't exactly participate. He stood there and nodded at everything my mom said and when she finished and it was his turn, he just hugged me again and told me to have fun. My mom had given him a blank look but said the same thing right after.

Like every time we got in a car, the music was up and so were our voices. If we weren't singing, we were talking loud as hell. A couple of the girls even took it upon themselves to start gossiping about the few people who'd already posted their prom pictures online.

A little over an hour later, we're parked outside a huge building that seemed to be made purely of glass. I didn't look outside for too long though.

I turned back to the girls while the guys hopped out, and said, "This is what's gonna happen," I paused, looking at them, "I'm not used to heels and I might twist my ankle. But there's a good chance I take these things off ten minutes into the night."

It was Chris's voice that carried from the open limo door. "Stop being so extra and get out."

I flipped him off as I got out, clutching my small purse in my hand. He simply grabbed a hold of my skirt and tugged me to him. Caught off guard, I let out a surprised sound and willingly stumbled back into him so I didn't fall on my ass.

The guys helped the rest of the girls out while I spun around to cuss Chris out and smack him with my purse. It only had my phone, gloss, Chapstick, and a few twenties. He heard me complaining about not being used to heels and he goes and drags me by my dress. I didn't like him manhandling my dress either and I complained about that too.

"Okay! Husband and wife?"

Chris and I immediately turned at that. There were a few snickers and Julia wrapped her arm around Kolton's as she said, "Can you go the rest of the night without trying to kill each other? For the sake of yourselves and everyone around you."

Chris and I mumbled out our halfhearted promises, and soon after, our group was being ushered toward the entrance of the hotel and through the lobby.

I wasn't the only one taking in the place with wide eyes. Everything was pristine. It was the kind of place where I was too scared to even walk too heavy on their immaculate floor. My feet were already killing me but I was too focused on the glass surfaces and furniture to care much.

My head tilted back as we walked beneath a huge chandelier. Chris smiled down at me when we caught each other's eyes and I grinned at him.

"Truce?" I said, referring to Julia's question about us tolerating each other for a night. It was going to be hard, but we'll manage for the most part. Us becoming... intimate partners didn't stop the jabs, but it lessened them. A little bit.

He gave me that handsome, tongue-tying grin of his and brought our hands up to kiss the back of my mine. My face burned.

He dropped my hand and wrapped his arm around my waist, resting his hand right above my ass. Lately, he's had a habit of doing that, well aware it drove me insane. It was something about how his hand fit there—like it's supposed to be there.

"You're so gorgeous, it's killing me." His voice was low against my temple, his lips brushing my skin. It was enough to make me feel like I was set on fire.

I muttered his name, wanting to tell him to cut it out, but my head tilted to the side instead. I found myself wanting him to slide his hand down a few inches...

Then I remembered there were people behind us.

That's possibly why he pulled away after brushing his lips against my skin in soft kisses a couple more times.

I blinked when the man who'd been leading us to where we needed to be stopped in front of a huge pair of double doors. Carlos helped to push and keep one open while the man held the other, letting us through.

My jaw was on the ground.

"Damn."

"Same," Chris muttered.

My eyes went to the never-ending ceiling and stayed there as I took in the twinkling lights up there—like stars. They were even twinkling. There were pillars along the edges of the large space with silver curtains draped from them and fluttering every now and then.

Along the edges of the room, there were tables and chairs—all of different sizes—set out and half of them already occupied. Then there was the dancefloor. It was elevated by one step and a large sum of people were already dancing.

There was a small table by the door where a teacher sat, collecting tickets. We went over and each turned in ours and something else happened but I was too lost in the night to even care.

We chose one of the largest tables at the back of the room, which was way back. It was one of the closest ones to the DJ and the first thing Thion did was went over to be a pain in the ass and requested a different song.

I sat down, placing my purse on the table and crossing my legs. I was grateful for the huge silver tablecloth because the slit in my dress caused both my legs to be exposed. It's a good thing it wasn't too high either because other parts would be exposed too. It's not like anyone would know unless they went under the table anyway. Plus, the lights were dimmed to near darkness. Most of the light in the room came from the strobe lights that ran around the platform of the dancefloor.

"Took your shoes off yet?" Chris said as he sat in the seat next to me and turned entirely so he faced me.

I made a face at his taunting smile and took one of the glasses of water that was already on the table.

"What? I'm just asking."

I hummed, bringing the glass to my lips. "I hope I don't catch anything from this."

Chris sputtered out a laugh, but I turned to my left instead at the chuckle I heard.

"Hi." I grinned at Nate.

I'm not ashamed to say I was checking him out in the same go. Unlike most of the guys here, Nate didn't gel his hair. He didn't need to. But he did get a haircut. It wasn't a fuckboi one, thank God because that wouldn't suit him.

It was the regular. He got a lineup, took off most of the sides and back but still had a full head of hair. His hair still curled around his ears and resting handsomely across his forehead.

I leaned closer to him, placing my hand on his shoulder. He turned to me.

"Did you pierce your ears?" I asked, eyeing the small diamond in his ear. I peered around to see his other ear. One was there too. "When did that happen?"

He was smirking. This boy was smirking. I mean, not that he didn't do it, but he looked too good tonight to be looking at me like that.

"Today," he said, tilting his head before jerking it subtly, his hair flopping against his forehead.

He didn't wear his glasses tonight, so his brown eyes were on full dazzling mode, especially with the white lights hitting him from this angle.

I sat back, smiling. "Looks great."

He grinned and I looked away, my eyes widening to myself a little as I took a sip of my water.

Movement came from my right and I looked at Chris. He was shaking his head at me.

I stopped. "What?"

"I need a queen to dance with me."

I tilted my head back as Thion's rounding the table. He obviously already knew who he wanted to dance with and it was Jess. Her eyes narrowed playfully at his hand and she got up without taking it.

"You're just gonna leave me hanging?"

She smiled. "I don't need your help."

I held back a snicker. He was in cold water with her. Jess didn't like the fact that he went around the grid with girls and came back to us and tried to do the same. Not sleep with us, but he treated us like he treated every girl- not in a bad way. He respected women and treated all the others how he did us, but Jess didn't like how he went about it.

She didn't mind him being a decent person nor sleeping around, but she didn't want to be a part of the majority. She just wanted to be treated like his friend and not like he was her pimp or something.

That's what she told me anyway. I got where she was coming from but personally, I loved that he was a lover. It didn't bother me as long as the others didn't come flocking and try to sacrifice me.

Chris let out a low, "Ouuu."

Thion turned to him with a distasteful look on his face. I pressed my lips together.

Chuckling, Chris got up and made his way over to Mar who was talking to Sean about something. I looked away, feeling that awkward feeling again when he hugged her from behind and placed his chin on her shoulder.

Seconds later they were moving toward the rest of the dancing crowd with Thion questioning Jess about her attitude.

I cringed, hopefully, they fixed that soon. Jess is a scary angry person. She doesn't shout often. She's just really calm and smiley but hurt anybody's feelings with the same expression if she wanted to.

"You're not gonna dance?"

Carlos sat in the vacant seat now. I tilted my head back. "Not right now. I can hardly walk in these shoes and I don't have the energy to take them off."

"Want me to take them off for you?" He reached under the table.

I laughed, moving my feet away. "No. I'm not ready."

"You sure?" He gave me an uncertain grin and I nodded, my mind noticing how fine he was. He'd already ditched his suit jacket and his shoulders were filling out his white button-down nicely. I don't get a break with these boys.

This was why everyone thought I was a hoe. It's not my fault I'm surrounded by gods.

I found myself wondering for the hundredth time all year if he was gay. He and Sean were... something, but no one talked about it or asked them. They never referred to each other by cute names or 'boyfriend', so that made it more confusing. But it was none of my business and nothing for me to understand; I left it alone. I still couldn't help that wondering though.

But damn was he fine.

Okay, get yourself together.

I mean, I'm allowed to look. I won't act on it.

He eventually went to go drag Sean away and they were swallowed up with the crowd. Then it was just me and Nate. Everyone else who were here weren't sitting so they didn't really count.

I turned to him, placing my elbow on the table and rested the side of my head against my palm. "Why aren't you dancing?"

He shrugged, running his finger along the side of his glass of water. "Not up for it yet." He reached up and pushed his hair back.

I respected that because it was currently my situation. We talked for a while. By a while, I was sure it was at least an hour. I asked him about finals, how his college shopping was going (he hadn't started yet, but had a list of all the things he needed when the time came), what he was majoring in and what he was looking forward to.

By his mood before, I knew there was something heavy weighing on him and when I asked him about college, he perked up more. So I kept asking him about college stuff, but not just to get him more excited; I wanted to know. I would take all the college talk and their experiences over the next year until it was my turn to experience it.

"You look beautiful, by the way," Nate said after an hour of talking. It made me smile.

"Thank you." I watched him fiddle with an ornament on the table. "You okay?"

"I should be asking you that," he replied, glancing at me briefly.

My eyes averted as I thought. Then I dragged out, "Why?"

He shook his head, grumbling a low, "Nothing."

That had me on edge. Did Chris tell him we were...

Did he find out? He's smart enough to figure it out.

"Nate," I dragged out, turning on my chair. "Come on. What's wrong? I'm sitting here cause I'm lazy as fuck but you're giving off a miserable vibe and I don't like that." That got a smile out of him.

I got up, holding my hand out to him.

He shook his head. "I'm not-"

"We're not going to dance. We're just gonna walk around the place."

He looked up at me. "You're actually getting up for me?"

I shrugged. "It's a miracle."

He visibly let out a breath, but I saw his smile get bigger before he pushed himself up. I clapped excitedly and wrapped my arm around his.

"We might have to stop a few times though," I told him. "Y'know, for medical reasons."

I smiled when he laughed, then we started our walk around the room. I had a little sway to my hips as I went, and I caught his head bobbing a few times to the beat of the music.

I wanted to ask him again what was up but I wasn't going to. I've been in a few bad moods myself and I never want to talk, so we just walked around the room, watching everybody else dancing.

We hadn't stopped that many times for me to sit down. I forced myself not to, even though my feet killed. But we had stopped to talk to some people he knew, then others I knew, and sometimes both. I think we went around the room twice, and it felt like we talked to everyone.

"Have you ever seen Chris dance?" Nate's voice said close to my ear. We were on our third round around the room after stopping at our table.

I turned to him and he leaned back. I thought about it. "Uhh, I've seen him move," I said, laughing when he grinned, "but not really dance. Like dance dance."

He nodded at something beyond me and I looked. My eyes scoping for Chris. It wasn't hard to spot him. He was dancing. Like actually dancing. Specifically, he was good at it.

He wasn't dancing with Mar like I expected to see. He was with two girls I wasn't familiar with, spinning them around expertly like he was on dancing with the stars. It was impressive. They were all smiles and laughter and I stared at the scene in shock, watching Chris move his hips like he's a damn stripper.

That's why he's so good at that thing...

"Is there anything else," I said, dragging my eyes away from him and to Nate who was grinning ear-to-ear now, "I need to know about this guy? Seriously?" I've heard he could dance but not like... that.

Nate shook his head, a bit mocking from the look on his face. "I don't think so- no."

We'd slowed to a stop, getting distracted by the trio like the rest of the kids who'd been dancing a second ago.

"He's gonna just snatch everybody's date tonight?" I retorted, my lips twitching when a few more girls joined in. Chris didn't look the least bit worried though. His grin widened and he tilted his head back, belting out the lyrics to DNCE's Cake by the Ocean—twisting and spinning to dance with every last one of the five girls.

"He only does this for special occasions," Nate said teasingly. "Or when he's drunk. But we both know it's the first one."

I couldn't even try to be jealous because I knew Chris had times of self-doubt but he also had times of overwhelming confidence and this was one of those times. That and he wasn't being crude. His hips were moving but he wasn't grinding on anyone or touching any questionable areas. He was being a magic mike gentleman.

Nate started cheering and pumping his fist and I shrugged and did the same. When I shouted for him to show some more hip movement, Nate was basically on the floor laughing.

Chris spotted us after my outburst and grinned, winking at us. But knowing him, he was definitely winking at me. Grinning, I sent him an air kiss, to which he stumbled back dramatically, clutching his chest with his mouth open.

I laughed when he almost fell back from the hands grabbing at him from every side. It was the most cliché yet entertaining thing ever.

The song changed just then and I didn't think much about it until I heard what was playing. I immediately looked at the DJ and saw the reason. He'd moved over and gave one of the prom-goers his podium. Said DJ was face-palming while the guy just grinned, rocking and bobbing his head.

I screamed. Like, literally screamed, before I let out a loud laugh and had to hold on to Nate to stop from falling. It was a song by the Jonas Brothers from Camp Rock. I thought it was a great song but the prommers booing right now didn't think so.

I had my hands on my knees, trying to get air back into my lungs when the song restarted. I swear the guy wanted them to start throwing bottles at him—forget tomatoes.

When I looked up again, Nate was making his way on the floor, singing along with the few people who were enjoying this. Some of those people included Chris and they both made a show of doing air drums and guitars while singing their hearts out.

I was cracking up on the sidelines but dancing and singing along anyway. I wouldn't be friends with them if I didn't encourage their foolery sometimes.

Carlos came in at the guitar solo, sliding across the floor—a very Nick Jonas thing to do, or was it Joe?—and he pulled it off.

When their performance was over and the place had gone up in cheers and laughter, Nate was making his way back to me. His smile was so wide that I felt like a proud mom for a second. I gestured for him to stay because I could tell he wanted to. He was finally in the right mood for tonight and I didn't want to ruin it.

He stopped then gestured for me to join them but I shook my head. I really wasn't about to go up there. I needed to be high on something first. Preferably food.

"I'm gonna go be a fatass," I called to him over the music. I wiggled my fingers at him with a grin as he shook his head, smiling.

I found the refreshments table at the other end of the room, on the opposite side of the main entrance, and did a little dance as I got closer. It was mostly finger foods but I'd live.

I didn't know how long I stayed there stuffing my face, but at some point, I paused and asked myself when I became this... person. All I thought about was food now and I never used to be like this. I loved food like every other person but I wasn't having cravings every few hours.

I sputtered, grabbing another sandwich. "Bitch," I stopped myself from saying it out loud. I knew I couldn't be pregnant; I wasn't a fool. We just started fooling around anyway and I'd been eating like this ever since I met-

"Always comes back to him," I muttered, my chews slowing. Chris has been shoving food in my face since we met. Obviously, it was because of him.

The second he leaves, I'm gonna drop five pounds and I knew it. Just his missing presence was going to take it off.

"You know they put liquor in the punch, right?"

I finished off what I thought was my third cup of punch before glancing to my left.

I smiled wider than I usually would at Jared. He was in a full black tux. That was all I could focus on rather than his face. His... very handsome face.

"I'm thirsty and they give us these tiny ass cups," I complained. "Why do they even have open stuff like this for drinks anymore?" I gestured to the punch bowl.

His bright smile was on display as he shook his head and said, "I couldn't tell you."

"That's why I hate this school."

He stepped next to me and took up a sandwich on display, biting into it. "I just want a burger to be honest."

I got another cup of punch and set it down next to me on the table. I reached for a cupcake. "I'm hoping after this a bunch of us go get some real food. I didn't eat before I came here and I'm fucking starving."

He turned to me. "You didn't eat? Why?"

I pursed my lips, chewing silently. "I ate something at around four this evening and half a sandwich right before I came."

"Again," he said with a laugh, "Why didn't you eat? Like a proper meal? You don't come to these things without eating first." He gestured to the room with the last of his mini sandwich before tossing it in his mouth.

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, Jared. Like you don't see me already busting outta this dress." I finished my cupcake.

"Only in the best ways," he said in a tone that had my eyes unsteady and my lips pulling up in a smile.

I couldn't help it. But I didn't respond to him either.

I was reaching for another cupcake but stopped myself. "I'm gonna stop now," I said it more to myself, but he heard. When I turned to him, he had a smile on his lips.

"Who exactly did you come here with? I couldn't tell who your date was." He didn't look at me as he spoke, but he glanced my way when he was done.

"That's kind of the point. We came as a group, so no one has a specific date. We're all each other's dates." He nodded in understanding. My eyes looked him up and down. "Who'd you come here with?" I got my cup of punch and took a drink. It was already halfway down.

He made a sound, reaching up to scratch his jaw. "This girl I've been seeing for a minute."

My eyebrows hiked up a little. Just by a fraction. I was surprised since he'd never brought up a girl whenever we spoke. Not that we talked about anything deep. We mostly had 'catching up' conversations, but damn, I might think about this later and cry. I'm just kidding. Maybe.

I didn't have feelings for Jared. He's one of those guys any high schooler would fantasize about having kids with. It was the same deal with Chris or Thion. They were attractive, so finding out they might be taken would crush anyone even if they had no chance.

That's slightly how I felt right now. Something I'll get over by morning. Or later if I snuck into Chris's room successfully.

"Really?" I retorted, keeping my voice light—conversational. "Would I know her?" I took another drink, looking away but only for a second. I was staring at him too hard and for too long.

He turned to look at me then, his tongue swiped over his bottom lip and I felt my hand tightening around the plastic cup in my hand. When it crinkled, I stopped before he could notice. Calm down.

"Probably not." He shook his head. "She's really lowkey. I kinda prefer it that way."

I eyed him, smirking. "What are you trying to say?"

My expression caused a smile to bloom on his face. He turned to me slightly, his hands going up. "That has nothing to do with you, actually-"

"Oh, it doesn't?" I retorted, grinning now.

He shrugged, shaking his head. "I'm sorry to say," he said, not sorry at all, "but no. No, it doesn't."

I nodded slowly, mockingly. "Sure. Okay."

Seconds later I blinked when I noticed we were staring at each other and smiling. I looked away quickly, my face burning. What in the hell...

My attention moved back to him when someone came up next to him. From the way she was looking at me and latched onto his arm, I knew she was the date. And he was right, I've never seen her a day in my life.

Her curly hair was up in some fancy do and she was pretty. That's all I focused on, though. It quickly became a little bit awkward, especially the thought of her watching us from across the room this whole time. Not to mention I'd probably been stripping him down with my eyes.

I definitely understood why they called me a hoe. But just because I find multiple guys attractive didn't mean I'm hopping in bed with all of them. I only did that with one and it's going to stay that way. For a while anyway.

So for now, I was allowed to look and I will.

My eyes went back to the dancefloor and I tried peering through the crowd to get a glimpse of Chris but he wasn't toward this end. Jared and his date continued to whisper back and forth. I almost rolled my eyes. Jeez, if I was that possessive over someone I wasn't even with, none of my guy friends would be talking to chicks outside our group.

I downed the rest of my drink. "Uhh." I turned back to look at Jared, stepping away from the table. "See you later."

It was the girl who responded. "Bye," she said, her voice dripping with attitude.

My smile was automatic because I was amused. She was bothered and her possessiveness was cute. My eyes went back to Jared and he looked just as awkward as the situation. I swallowed a snicker and nodded, more to myself, before leaving them.

"Something funny?"

I pursed my lips, keeping my eyes on hers while Jared said her name in a low voice, pulling her into his side and whispering close to her ear.

Yep, calm her down, my guy.

I left them to it, still keeping my eyes on the girl's as I stepped around them. My laugh slipped when I was a safe distance away and I trashed my empty cup as I passed the garbage.

"I really need to chill before someone beats my ass," I said to myself, still snickering.

By the time I got back to our table, the room was blurring a bit in the corners of my eyes and my hips were moving easier to the music.

"Bust a move," Thion said.

I didn't even think. I stopped, letting the music take over and guide my movements. I wasn't going all out but he still gassed me up anyway until a few others joined in—encouraging my antics.

Laughing, I stopped next to him, leaning on a chair. "Can you take my shoes off?" I didn't expect him to actually do it, but if I sat down and did it, I wasn't going to get up for the rest of the night.

He turned on his chair, opening his legs and patting the space of the chair that was there.

I turned to him fully and held on to the chair next to me for support as I elevated my foot. My dress fell around my leg, exposing it all the way up to my mid-thigh.

Thion looked up at me, his eyes widened dramatically. I gave him a look, barely holding back my laugh.

"Hurry up, before people start looking under me," I said, reaching back to maneuver my dress to keep from accidentally flashing someone. Not like they'd be able to see anything anyway with how dark it was.

He grinned and went back to working the small buckles on my shoes.

"Where'd you disappear to?"

"You know I went to go stuff my face," I said, turning my leg so he could get better access to the straps and clasps. "Had a small convo with Jared."

Thion looked up at me, stared for a moment, then let out a loud sigh, dropping his attention back down. I laughed.

"We just said hi to each other!"

"Don't matter. You know he gets Rich all worked up."

I was still laughing. "He does not."

He finished, gesturing for me to put my other foot up. I twisted the shoe off and tossed it under the table, then placed my foot down on the ground, sighing. I almost groaned at the tension that left the second I was flat. I put my other foot up for him.

"At least not anymore," I added. "His girlfriend caught us looking at each other and almost decked me." That's basically what happened.

"Girlfriend," Thion called out. "Girlfriend, one word, or girl friend, two words?"

"I'm just kidding. I don't think they're that serious yet. But they might as well be married with how she was looking at me."

He finished with my shoe and took it upon himself to take that off for me and tossed it under the table next to the other one.

"Ya girl would've been battered and bruised—limping back here—if I hadn't kept my mouth shut," I went on.

"Who is she? Want me to go talk to her?" he said teasingly, but I knew if it came down to it, he'd go that far.

I placed my other foot on the ground, sighing at the strain that seemed to be flowing out of my calves and basically my whole body.

"No, I do not," I replied, shaking my head at him. "I probably won't see her again after tonight. Jared fine, but he ain't that fine."

I pulled out the chair next to me, ready to sit down. My feet were killing me and I didn't care if I didn't get up until the night was over.

Chris's arms slid around my waist. I knew his touch that well. Or maybe it was the fact that whenever he did this, he liked to be extra close.

He ran his hands over my sides and stomach before gripping the skirt of my dress and tugging me back into him. He liked doing that, I'm gathering.

His lips were at my ear, and I arched into him before I remembered we were in public. Heart thundering in my chest, I didn't get to turn around like I'd been planning before he spoke lowly by my ear.

"When am I gonna get a dance?"

I let out a shaky breath, trying to keep my expression as friendly as it could get with my body threatening to crash. Or worse, lean into him.

"I thought you were planning on dancing with all the girls here first."

I caught Thion's eyes for a second, my face getting hotter than it already was. He wasn't looking at us, but he was smirking, telling me he'd seen. My eyes went to the ceiling, and I hardly heard what Chris was saying.

Turning quickly, I tilted my head back to stare up at him. I gave him a 'what the hell' look, but he returned a cocky smile.

"Feeling risky tonight," he said lowly, leaning down to me.

I held his face in my hand, shaking my head. My eyes fell to his lips for a second. I realized I'd been biting my lip when I met his eyes again, and let it go.

"Not that risky," I muttered.

He hummed, a sexy smile on his lips. My thoughts were a little clouded, but I wanted to drag him out of here and into the darkest, farthest corner.

I saw my hands under his suit jacket—pushing it off—not knowing when the hell they got there. My limbs felt looser, and the bass of the music pulsed through me. Maybe I was feeling a little risky. Just this much.

He licked his lips, helping me discard his jacket and hang it on the back of a chair. I felt like a bitch in heat as I stared at him, struggling to steady my breathing as I watched him watch me.

His once perfectly styled hair was all over the place and brushing against his forehead in the hottest way. His lips were pink and glistening and his pale skin was practically glowing under the lights.

"Get a room!" I don't know who that came from, but it garnered a whole lot of catcalls and laughing.

Chris smirked and I looked away, shaking my head but smiling as he folded the sleeves of his shirt up, exposing a watch around his wrist. I turned my eyes back to him.

Sweet Lord almighty...

Between the hair, his arms on display, and those darn suspenders, I could hardly breathe. And when he reached out and took my hands gently, pulling me with him as he backed toward the dancefloor, I could hardly get a healthy amount of air in my body.

A slow song was playing. It was Heaven by that one woman who I couldn't remember right now because Chris was giving me the full force of his bedroom eyes and moving just as slow as the song.

Something came over me once we were on the dancefloor and it might be the alcohol that Jared told me was in the punch, but everything else blurred and it was just the two of us.

Grinning mischievously, I snapped one of his suspenders playfully. He bit his lip against one of those fuck hot smiles of his, his eyes falling to my chest for a second. Then he slipped his arm around my waist, his hand brushing over the top of my ass before settling just above it. Right at that dreadful spot that had me tingling.

"Careful, Christian," I teased, my hands running up his arms slowly. "Don't want to slip up too much."

That smile again, before he leaned down, his other hand 'accidentally' brushing against my bare thigh through the slit in my dress before settling on my hip.

He pulled me closer, but he didn't have to because I was already pressing my body against his.

"I'm sure nothing that happens tonight will count as normal behavior," he said, his voice gruff. "We'll just blame it on the punch."

Leaning up, I gripped his bicep with one hand while my other wandered down his chest and settled against his side. "Even later when you unzip me?"

He let out a very audible breath, his mouth dropping to my exposed shoulder, making me grin. A second later, he lifted his head. "That, no one has to know about."

"Agreed."

The song changed to something just as slow but upbeat as the last song; something by 5SOS. Chris and I sang the opening lines until the beat dropped and he spun me out without warning.

He pulled me back into him, grinning while I laughed. The song was a bit ironic given what our circumstances were and what was coming in the next few weeks but we didn't let it dampen our mood.

He kept spinning me around and pulling me in, subtly placing small kisses anywhere he felt deserved it.

It felt like we danced for hours, and I think we had. At least two. We sang our hearts out and serenaded each other until we were breathless and sweaty. It was awesome.

At one point, Versace on the Floor by Bruno Mars came on and it got a bit heated between us. As in, people we hadn't known were watching had started cheering and hyping us up while teachers who were there to chaperone had to tell us to "break it up". There was a lot of passionate singing, hip movements, careless touching, and grinding that included his crotch pressed against my ass and my hands on my knees.

Chris and I had been cracking up. We did keep intimate body parts from grinding anymore but we still did the whole theatrics.

I fell into an empty chair when we went back to our table, and Chris gulped down about three glasses of water without caring who they belonged to.

"Y'all were having fun," Sean said.

I was fanning myself with my hand and using my other to lift my hair off the back of my hot neck.

I grinned at him because I hadn't been able to do anything else but that since Chris and I's solo concert.

Hands brushed against the one I used to hold up my hair and I knew it was Chris. I dropped my hand when he said, "I got you."

"Aww." That came from a girl who I'd seen a few times but never really spoke to. She'd been talking to Julia when we came over, but now she was staring at Chris and I. "I want someone to hold my hair up."

A few laughs, and Chris's chuckle, had me smiling at her.

Minutes after that, one of our chaperones were calling our attention to the podium. The music dimmed down. It was time to find out prom king and queen. I forgot all about it and that they still did that.

I cheered from my seat when they announced the names and no one could guess how shocked and excited I was when I heard 'Nathion Gardner'. But when I looked at Thion, the expression on his face had me covering my mouth to muffle my laughs.

It was obvious he didn't want any part of it, but he grudgingly got up and went up to get crowned. Our table had cheered the loudest.

His speech had been, "I don't know which one of you devil children signed me up for this," his eyes had strayed to our table specifically and we all burst out laughing, "But we're having a group discussion on what not to do when I'm involved."

Sure, the guy would make out with his best friend, risking everything, but drew the line at being signed up for prom king.

He had to dance with the prom queen who was a girl on the cheerleading team that I've seen around school. From her wide grin and laughs, it looked like she was having a nice time talking to Thion for the whole five minutes or so. Who didn't?

When it hit one in the morning, the room started clearing out slowly and since the best parts of the night had already gone, I was looking forward to leaving.

"I don't know about y'all," Thion said, his palms pressed against the table from where he stood, "but I'm bout ready to dip." His crown was slanted slightly on his head and I couldn't deny that it suited him.

"What? Why?" Julia asked. She was sitting on Kolton across the table. I almost forgot they were here. They'd been wrapped up in each other half the night.

Thion shrugged. "The night's dead now."

"I kind of want to go on the beach," Chris said.

Thion nodded, standing straight. "That's what I'm up for."

Most of us were on board, and in minutes we were grabbing our things and heading out.

We all went to the front desk to get keycards for our rooms. There were those of us who decided to room together and those of us who didn't. The school didn't allow girls and guys to get rooms together, so we were separated. The girls in our group got a room and the guys got a room.

It was me, Jess, Mar, Amanda and Jeseah in a two-bed suite and I think it had a pullout sofa bed. Then Thion, Nate, and Heath got a room together. Carlos and Sean got a room together for reasons I won't assume. Then there were people like Julia and Chris who went and got singles. Julia got a single because she was staying with Kolton, also for reason I won't think too much about. And Chris... Chris was being himself.

A few of us went to our rooms to change while others went out to get food or something like that. I was feeling myself fiercely and didn't really want to change but according to the girls it was sixty degrees outside, despite us being on the beach.

I changed out of my dress grudgingly and into another. A shorter one. I brought a cute little sundress because why the hell not. I hadn't worn it in over a year, but it used to be loose on me. However, when I'd put the thing on, it was doing things in places that it hadn't before.

"Go ahead and bed over a little," Jess had said after I'd put it on.

I'd laughed, placing my hand on my behind to hold the end of the dress down. "No!" She'd found that hilarious.

The dress was snug in some places and just a little loose in others. The skirt of it was still it's loose, flairy fabric, however, the dress was shorter than mid-thigh. The cut at the neck was lower than I remembered too and I was giving more boob exposure than my prom dress had.

This whole night was bizarre because that was what I ended up wearing. I didn't change.

In all honesty, it was hot. I'd never liked showing a lot of skin—mostly because of my mom—but for tonight, I'd break a few rules.

I laughed, cheering the girls on when they grabbed up their flip flops and raced across the sand to a huge bonfire that was already lit and raging in the distance.

Everyone had brought their own blankets and stuff for this exact reason. And as I walked down the beach, feeling the warm breeze toss my hair about, I saw a few people splashing around in the water.

I shook my head, trying not to let my anxiety get the best of me.

It wasn't like it was light out. It was completely black, and the moon only created a narrow path of light on the water, so the rest of the water was nonexistent to my eyes. They couldn't see anything, and they were just splashing around, having a good time.

What if something came and dragged them away? I shuddered at the thought and had to shake my head to get rid of those crazy thoughts.

I focused on the beautiful sound of the waves crashing against the shore instead of how vast and deep and scary-

"Okay bitch, calm down," I muttered to myself but picked up my pace to get to my group quicker.

When I got there, everyone was eating pizza and conversations were going around. I didn't feel like counting, but just by looking, I'd say a good twenty people were here.

I caught sight of obnoxious movement and smiled when I saw Nate waving me over. Our little group was across the fire from me and I walked around and plopped down next to Nate on a huge blanket.

He moved the box that was in front of him closer to me. "Pizza?"

I adjusted myself, and surprisingly, I shook my head. "Not yet." I stretched my legs out in front of me, crossed them at my ankles, and leaned back on my hands.

Leaning forward again, I closed the lid of the box so sand didn't blow in it, then leaned back again.

"What are you wearing?" Chris's low voice sounded right behind me.

My eyes went to the sky and I smiled. "An old dress."

He was silent for a moment before he said, "Old?"

"Yup." I nodded. "I've had it since eighth grade or something. The benefits of not growing."

Chris chuckled, moving to sit next to me. He reached over me to get a slice of pizza. He took a huge bite of it then held it up to me when he saw me staring at him.

When I shook my head, he placed the thing right on my lips, rubbing it against my mouth. I pressed my lips together, but my laugh came out anyway and he put the pizza in my mouth, forcing me to take a bite.

"Why are you like this?" I said through my mouthful, licking my lips and shaking my head at his smile.

He didn't say anything, but he kept feeding me. And I kept taking it. Like I always did.

♤♠♤

I almost couldn't hear the sound of our heavy breathing over the sound of the crashing waves on the beach, but I did. And my legs were shaking so much I knew he could feel it even though we weren't touching at the moment.

"Shit," I got out, my chest heaving.

We were both laying on our backs, staring up at the ceiling.

"Yeah," Chris breathed, just as speechless as I was.

I tried to move my legs. They wouldn't budge, but they were still shaking.

I turned my head to look at him. I couldn't see his entire face because of the darkness of the hotel room, but the moonlight shining through the open balcony doors gave off enough light that I could make out his profile.

It was four-thirty in the morning, and it was a lot easier for me to come here because other than me, Jeseah had been the only other person in our room and she'd been sleeping. We hadn't spoken much since our falling out and that was fine by me. But the other girls were out, doing whatever the hell they were. Probably the same thing I was.

"Have you been watching porn or something?"

He laughed loudly and I turned onto my side, my body heavy, and propping my head up with my hand to see his face.

When he calmed down, he peered at me with a grin. "Research."

I eyed him, clutching my free hand in the sheets to stop from reaching out and running it down his chest. I don't know why I was so scared to do it because I've done worse.

"Research?" I retorted.

"Yeah. You know... the internet, books."

It was quiet after that as I thought. Only the sound of the ocean outside audible.

"You did research on sex?" I said again after a while, not quite believing it. For some reason, the image of him looking up something like that had me smiling. Just visualizing him sitting in the library with a book and reading about sex...

"Female... anatomy you could say. Did some reading on that, along with other things. And I might have watched a few videos."

"Chris!" I laughed, dropping my head to bury my face in the pillows. My face was burning and I had no clue why. It was normal—guys watching porn for educational purposes—but usually, like ninety-nine percent of the time, they weren't doing it for research. And definitely not for a specific person. The fact that he did that for me was as embarrassing as it was endearing.

"What?" he replied, letting out a chuckle. He rolled onto his side to face me.

His hand was in my hair, fingers massaging my scalp as his thumb brushed the shell of my ear and down my jaw. My eyelids drooped a little. One of his legs settled between mine when he pushed himself closer.

"That first time traumatized me," he said, his voice dropping to that tone that made me have to hold back a tremble. "I never want that to happen again."

"You keep acting like we had a clue what we were doing."

"You caught me off guard." His thumb nudged my bottom lip. "The last thing I expected was for us to end up like this at some point. I wasn't prepared."

"Really?" My eyes opened and I found myself gazing out at the ocean and the narrow path of light the moon shone across its rippling surface instead of at him.

"Fine, maybe I did. Just not now." He adjusted himself and his arm slipped around my back. I pushed myself closer before he could pull me to him. "Later. Probably like a few months from now after I come home from college and we miss each other so much that-"

I laughed, cutting him off. "Shut up."

"I'm serious, though," he chuckled.

I sighed, closing my eyes and falling back on the pillows. I tilted my head as he leaned over me and his lips started to ghost over my face and down my neck.

"Chris," I muttered.

"Hm."

"What if this doesn't work out?"

He paused at my shoulder, leaving his lips pressed against my skin. He stayed relaxed and didn't move away, so that was a good sign. When he didn't say anything, I went on.

"Since you're leaving and all. What if you meet someone and you really like them and you two start dating? Then you come back here. I don't want us to be those awkward, post 'friends with benefits' people. But at the same time, what if we still can't get enough of each other and..."

Tension was in the air after that. His body had gone a little stiff, but his lips were still on my skin.

This was something I wondered about ever since we had sex the first time. Hell, even before that. There was this thing between us that I didn't see dying anytime soon and if it did, it'll probably be from his side.

We had a great friendship and I knew it was already ruined. There was no going back for us. We've tried to limit our contact and intimacy only to end up in bed together. Multiple times. It's gotten to a point where I think the only way we'd be able to be normal was if we ended this and the friendship altogether.

What I felt for him... it went too deep. And I already knew how he felt about me. I could see it every time he looked at me—feel it every time he touched me. I knew how dangerous it was from the start, but I let it happen anyway.

"Not only are you," he paused, lifting his mouth from my shoulder, "saying we're friends with benefits. But you think I'd cheat on my nonexistent future girlfriend."

"No, that's not-" I stopped myself because that was exactly what it sounded like after I thought it over.

I didn't put him on such a low pedestal. I knew he was a great guy and I don't think he was even capable of doing something like that.

He pulled back to see my face. He didn't look pissed and that was a relief. His expression was curious—he wanted to understand what I was getting at.

"What I'm trying to say is," I started again, getting my words straight, "what if this ends up messing up something good for you? I'm not a homewrecker but I just..." I pushed my pride away to say what I wanted to. "I don't want to lose you- lose us."

I wasn't done. I had more emotional shit to get out even though it felt like a seal was sitting on my chest. But he'd cupped the side of my face, his thumb brushing over my skin gently, before letting his hand slide over my neck and down the side of my body until he was gripping my upper thigh.

He tugged me closer. I was surprised there was still space left between us. He was so close that I wouldn't be able to look away if I wanted to.

"Ari if you see us as 'friends with benefits' then-" he shrugged. "But that isn't what this is for me. You're more than that. And I want to be as vague as possible because I don't want to freak you out," he gave me a look and I pressed my lips together, shaking my head. "It's- this is more than me getting laid. I have to be close to you in every way and- I don't know, it hurts not to be. It's weird but that's how I feel. This isn't a want for me. At least it doesn't feel like just that."

"Being with you," he paused, his hand curling around my hip, "it's different. It doesn't matter that I've never done this with anyone in my life," he laughed, and I smiled before biting my lip. "I know it's different. I won't have this with anyone else."

I waited for him to say more but he shook his head.

"No, that's it. I'm not saying anything else until your high school graduation."

I gave him a look and he smiled that corny ass smile. I turned and pressed my face into the pillows, groaning loudly.

I adjusted myself, facing him more than I already was and pulling the covers up to keep my chest covered even though it was dark enough that he probably couldn't see. His expression told me I wasn't changing his mind about his decision though.

"And you think we'll still have these... insatiable desires by then?" I teased.

He bit his lip then let it go to say, "You don't?"

My mouth opened but nothing came out and my eyes averted. "I think," I started, pausing, "you'll be surrounded by actual women and, I dunno, see how different it is there from high school. And... high school girls."

"I don't like this pillow talk," he said. I looked away with a deadpan, but he pushed me onto my back and got on top of me. He pushed my legs apart to fit himself between my thighs. I tried to focus on his next words—taking deep breaths.

"You think you're not enough for me?" he asked lowly, reaching up to push my hair out of my face gently. I'd been too lazy to put it up and he had some pretty interesting things to say about me being on top of him with my hair out.

I relaxed when I saw he was just being clingy and not trying anything. At the moment anyway. Subconsciously, I knew how this conversation would end, especially with my insecurities making an entrance.

"I-" I stuttered, and he kissed the corner of my mouth. I moaned—a low, involuntary sound—and turned my head, trying to kiss him. He pulled back, grinning mischievously. "Chris."

He chuckled. "Answer me."

"It doesn't matter," I muttered. I relaxed my hold on his back. I hadn't realized my nails were digging into his skin.

"Doesn't it?" he retorted, easily getting me to meet his eyes when I tried to look away. "As much as I want to say I don't care what you think about yourself," he said, leaning close to brush his lips against my cheek, "I can't, because I do. You're amazing and beautiful. There will never be anyone like you, Ariana. I'll keep telling you this until you believe it one day. Like I do."

My eyes went to the ceiling and I blinked multiple times to get rid of the welling tears. When he used to say corny stuff, it wasn't heavy enough that I'd wanted to bawl my eyes out. But it's something about lying in bed naked—being vulnerable in every way—and hearing him say things like that messes me up even more. He liked to complicate things more than they already were.

I complained about it like I usually did. "You know how easy it is for to cry now. I told you to stop saying-"

And like every other time, his lips found mine, shutting me up. Still, as my eyes closed and I reached up and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, I felt a tear slide down my temple.

Minutes later, a few more had escaped me again, but it was for an entirely different reason.