Mark knocked on Denise's door at 11:00 am the next morning, bearing flowers, hot chocolate, and hash browns. Stephanie and Denise were seated at the kitchen counter eating the remaining steak and cheesecake right out of the containers, wearing sweat pants and listening to early 2000's pop music. As Denise predicted, he looked around the place and grimaced slightly. He wore crisp jeans and a blazer, and Stephanie happily noted he looked exhausted.
He handed the flowers to Stephanie first, and as she wordlessly put them in a vase, he set the hot chocolate and hash browns down in her spot. Stephanie came back and handed the hash browns directly to Denise. Mark seemed put out, but Stephanie felt like it was a power move. He knew all about those.
"Can we talk?"
"I said we would talk today, didn't I?" She sipped the hot chocolate, then frowned because he still didn't get her any whipped cream, even when he was trying to win her over.
"I've been up for hours waiting for you to come home."
"Sorry. I slept in." It had been a fitful, anxious sleep, and she didn't feel rested at all.
"Will you come home with me so we can chat there and not disrupt anyone else?"
Denise jumped all over that, "Disrupt anyone? Are you planning on yelling at each other, because I object to that on principle." She had a mouthful of hash browns and Stephanie chuckled.
Exasperated already, Mark replied, "No, that's not what I meant."
"Okay, good."
Stephanie said, "I'm good here though. No need to go somewhere else when we're both already here." Boom, another power move.
"Alright, you win." He dragged his hand down his face. "Denise, do you mind giving us the room. I have a few things I would feel more comfortable saying to Stephanie in private."
Stephanie looked at Denise and shrugged while she reached to turn the music down to a conversational level. Denise got up, took the hash browns and steak with her, and called casually over her shoulder, "I will leave the room. If you are talking loud enough for me to hear through this bedroom door and that music, I cannot be blamed for eavesdropping. If anyone screams, I'm coming back in here." She waved a steak knife between them, "Savvy?"
Mark massaged the crease between his eyebrows as if he had a migraine. Stephanie knew he'd always found Denise to be a bit exhausting, and his tolerance for her when he was tired was essentially non-existent. She waited for the bedroom door to close behind Denise before talking.
"So. What do you have to say? Is this apology time, or did you want to continue convincing me of the benefits of moving across the country to sit alone in a fancy apartment all day?" The comment was barbed, but she was still upset. He slouched against the fridge.
"I want to start by apologizing to you. Stephanie, I know that every single thing you said to me last night was true, and it was absolutely despicable of me to just assume you would go with me, no questions asked."
He took another deep breath. "What you said about proposing though... I have been thinking about it recently. With everything happening between Vancouver and here, I just wanted to figure some of that stuff out first. Settle in with the firm better."Â He moved forward and took her hands in his over the counter. "I want to take care of you, and I do want you to be my wife someday. If you come to Vancouver with me, I promise those things will happen."
"Mark, I love you, but I don't think I can just move across the country without a guarantee. So, if I stay in Toronto, or even if we both stay in Toronto, do those things still happen?"
"Well, Vancouver is permanent. You could always come in a month or two of course, but I don't want to do long distance with you. If a ring is what it takes, we can go get you a ring right now. I'm serious about us."
Stephanie pulled her hands out of his grasp. "That's not what I want. I didn't say that to force a proposal out of you. I need to know what you see in our future. Last night proved that my vision for us, and your vision for us, are very different. I want us to be a partnership that makes big decisions together. You seem to want me to fit into the mold of what you think a partner's wife should be."
"Please tell me you aren't just listening to Denise about this. I need to know what you feel."
"This is me! Don't assume that Denise is pushing me to do one thing or another, that's what you are doing. I was ready to say yes to a marriage proposal yesterday, but now when I look back on everything you said, and everything you planned without even talking to me, the only thing I can think about is what would have happened to us if I had actually said yes."
Mark looked like he had been slapped and staggered backwards, but Stephanie continued, "I feel like I dodged a bullet. We don't even want the same things in life anymore. You are not the same guy I fell in love with. I need someone who will be my number one fan all the time, who continues to motivate me to do my best, not someone who brushes off my goals like they don't matter. I deserve a guy who is willing to make a scene when I get a win."
"So, what are you saying? Is that it? Is that the end for us? Is there any way I can fix this?"
Stephanie contemplated Mark, leaning against the fridge, fiddling with his Tag Heuer watch strap, his hair disheveled from running his hands through it, and sighed.
"You know I don't give second chances when it comes to my heart. You know how badly I was hurt to make that rule in the first place. Yesterday, you made me feel that way again." Her vision blurred and she brushed the angry tears away before they could fall. "Give me one reason to change that right now and stay with you. Are you willing to discuss staying here and waiting to be a partner in the Toronto office?"
"I already told you how much I need to make this move now. If I don't, they'll think I'm not serious about the company, and there's no telling what the fallout could mean for me then."
He looked like a petulant child who hadn't gotten his way, and Stephanie closed her eyes, whispering, "so that's a no then."
She took a few breaths to steady her resolve. "The real you has been missing for a long time now. Where'd he go, Mark? He was sweet, and kind, and fun, and I will never stop loving him. You need to find him again." She looked into his eyes and saw a broken look that undoubtedly matched her own. "But you worried about the wrong fallout. I'm sorry Mark. I can't. We aren't what's best for each other anymore. I need the guy who wins my heart, not the one who breaks it."Â Stephanie stood up and disappeared into the spare bedroom, not seeing the shattered look that crossed Mark's face as he sagged against the fridge, or the silent tear that rolled down his cheek.
Sometime later, she heard the front door close. She could hear the music drifting softly from her speakers, a powerful song about losing love.
A monstrous sob broke free, and Denise came in and held her while she cried her heart out for the man and the life she wanted, but knew she had lost.