Chapter 24: Chapter 24

"I'm doomed."

Katrina turned to me, a sympathetic expression on her face. "Jesse again?"

I shook my head.

"Not right now at least. But how does this stupid teacher expect me to write this stupid essay on this stupid topic, when I haven't even learned this stupid subject yet?" I pushed the paper away from me, letting out a huff and crossing my arms. "This is all stupid."

She laughed, looking over the paper's topic. "Um, maybe you should have paid attention in class. This was taught about a week ago."

I let my gaze drift off, trying to remember what I had done that would make me distracted from class.

Oh right. The remarkable stick drawings of Jesse dying.

Not worth failing my class, that's for sure.

I leaned forward, pulling one of the books in front of me, opening it with a cynical edge in my eyes. "What's the point of studying? I'm going to fail either way."

Katrina sighed, and I noticed that she started to gather her belongings. After being in the public library, more than enough hours after school, even I would want to leave. "I would stay and help, but I have to go babysit my neighbor's kids. No cheating, Carson."

I waved her off, shooting detesting glares at the books in front of me. I tossed the one I had away, and picked up an aged looking one. Sinking back in my chair, I started skimming through the words.

What I learned from doing that, was that Christopher Columbus was definitely an explorer...and George Washington was definitely a president.

It was like I was in middle school all over again.

In front of me, I saw something had moved. I tried to pass it off as a person merely walking by, but whoever it was, pulled the chair out across from me and sat down. I was a bit hesitant when I glanced up to see who it was, but when I eventually did, a pair of navy blue eyes pierced mine. I held back a scowl at the sight of him.

He spoke before I could tell him to go away, like he always did. "We need to talk."

I pursed my lips, looking back down at the book in my hands. "Then talk."

"What's our relationship status? Just for the records, since I'm confused."

I let my eyes dart up to him as I spoke. "Friends."

He leaned forward, his eyes boring into mine. "I thought I made it clear that I didn't want to be friends, Carson."

I stared at him for a second, and then slammed the book shut. I noticed the noise made him grimace, and make the severe expression snap away in an instant. "Then don't let the door hit you on the way out."

With that said, I stood up from the table, and walked up to the bookcase beside me – stuffing the book where it seemed to fit best.

"Ya' know, you being so stubborn is kind of a turn off."

I glanced at him over my shoulder. "That's good, because I had no intention on turning you on in the first place."

Once, that had been my intention, but of course – it had never been a mission I had wanted to accomplish.

He heaved a sigh, leaned his head back, and raised his hands up to his forehead. "God, you're so annoying."

I grabbed the biggest book from the bookcase, and stomped over in front of him. Just as I slammed the book down on the table, he jerked back in the chair and met my eyes with abrupt quickness.

"I'm annoying? Last time I checked, you were the one who kept on following me," I snapped.

He leaned back in the seat, crossing his arms, relaxed. "Well, maybe if you'd give in – then I wouldn't have to, now would I?"

I scowled. "We already talked about this. I like you, sure, but not like that. And stop trying so hard, you seem desperate."

He smirked, but there was a hidden emotion behind it. "By now, I sure as hell am, Doll face. Just because you're in denial doesn't mean I'm going to back off."

"I'm not in denial!"

His smile widened even more. "You're in denial for being in denial. Just admit it!"

I flinched, but turned around quickly, distracting myself. "Just leave me alone."

Of course, such an act was impossible from such an unrelenting person. "Why would I do that?"

I turned around, flaring up. "Because. How many times do I have to tell you? I don't like you like that – and denial has nothing to do with it."

Suddenly, before I had any time to establish what he had done, he was out of the chair and in front of me.

I could only manage a small shriek when his hand came up suddenly, and gripped the fabric of my shirt at my shoulder – roughly jerking me forward. As I came face to face with him, I noticed all signs of my breathing were gone in a second. The only thing that stopped our lips from colliding was the rapid movement my hand made, as it clutched onto his collarbone – pushing yet hanging on for dear life.

His eyes met mine. "You are such a liar."

"You're an idiot."

Not my best comeback, since all his response was to pull me toward him even more. Deep down, I wished things were like the good days when I first met him, when hurting him didn't end up in these kinds of situations.

But now, he seemed to have had enough with all of that.

For a fraction of a second, I had come to believe he'd kissed me – but then the sound of a book dropping made us both jump.

I turned, and saw a kid – no taller than the second row of books on the bookshelf, staring at Jesse and I with wide eyes, there was also a 'Where's Waldo?'  book in front of him on the floor.

With faint heat in my cheeks, I pushed past Jesse and walked back to the table – all the while avoiding the questioning stare from the kid.

"Noah!"

The boy turned around, and with one last fleeting look at Jesse and I, he frowned and went back to where he belonged – quickly picking up his book in the process.

Jesse smiled to himself. "I have half a mind to say we're gaining all the wrong attention."

I suddenly remembered how to develop the sinister scowl I used to make. "Don't you have anything better to do? I really don't need you bothering me right now."

He tilted his head. "No, actually. The best thing I could do is hang out with my—"

"How many times do I have to say it? I'm not your—"

I was cut off, as if the air in my lungs was forced out of me and had me out of breath. He reached forward, and placed both of his hands on either side of the chair, caging me in it.

"I was going to say best friend, but now you reminded me that I would be letting you off too fast if I said it." The dim shade of the library made his hair seem darker, even though it seemed somewhat wet from the snow outside.

My scowl returned. "Too fast? You've been bothering me for almost two weeks, and you haven't taken into consideration that you're not making any progress. Just give up, Jesse."

He leaned down, so that his cool breath blew across my lips. "You're going to sit in front of me, and say I'm not making any progress?"

"Yes."

He met my eyes. "You want to know how I can counter that?"

I raised my head, trying to look as fearless as I could, regardless of the fact that he had his arms on either side of me. "How?"

"You seemed to have really hated me when I first talked to you." He smiled, letting his eyes dart around for a second, and then leaning back a bit. "And after a week or two you don't anymore."

I kept staring, not quite finding a comeback on time.

"I could only imagine what would happen later though."

The smile he made as he leaned forward again brought out the worst in my temper. For a second, I was going to pass it off as his regular chivalry acts. But something, just something, in his tone made me snap. I didn't want any assault charges – or murder even, but all I know, was that it took a lot of self-control as to not punch him.

Anger management suddenly came into my mind – for the millionth time since Jesse walked out of the janitor's closet when I met him.

"What makes you think it'll come to that?" I asked, sinking back in the chair to see him more clearly.

He smiled again. "What makes you think it won't?"

"Well, I have to like you for it to happen – don't you think?"

He leaned down again, coming too close to my lips for my liking. "But, you already do."

I let out a breath, and in the small moment – I realized he had been moving closer. It was when I felt his lips barely touch mine that I had finally established what was happening.

Being caged in a chair with his arms on either side of me had me completely trapped. If I had any desire of escaping, my only option were to be to flip the chair or jump off. Though, those plans weren't in my mind at all before Jesse spoke – breaking the tension.

"I'll tell you what," he said. I nearly shivered at the feel of his lips brushing against mine when he talked. "If you kiss me now, I'll leave you alone for as long as you want."

I glared at him. "You said something similar to that when you said if you drove me home, you'd leave me alone. Yet, look where you are now."

His eyes darted up to mine again. "This time I mean it."

"Drop dead."

He smiled. "You first."

My glare became menacing, though nothing about my expression seemed to faze him as much as I expected. All he did was lean further – although there wasn't much more space between our lips by now. That appeared to scare me much more than anything else.

After a stream of quick thoughts, I leaned my head back – away from him. There was no denying the faint angst in his eyes when I did that.

"I'm not playing this game anymore. Either agree that we can't be nothing more than friends, or leave me alone."

"What sucks about that, is that I won't agree to either one."

I leaned more backwards, and pushed him away – to my utter surprise, he didn't resist. "Then find someone else – it's not that hard for a person of your standards."

He let out a breath, smiling slightly as I walked past him to the bookcase again.

As I set a book back where it belonged, and pulled another one out, I turned around swiftly and leaned against the case. Seeing clearly that Jesse was staring at me.

Looking up, I met his eyes.

"You're killing me, Carson," he said, looking away with a tired sigh.

I smiled – but tried to shield it as much as I could. With one last glance at his face, I turned around to the bookcase and set the Harry Potter sized book back - not bothering to read it. I had nothing against the series, it was just that I wasn't going to read something of that size that only described how the Civil War started. The only way I was going to learn something, was if I read children's books – and even then, it would be hard enough to study with the I Spy books so close to me. They were tempting enough as it was.

Just I was about to turn back around, a pair of arms wrapped around me. The same sensation I felt when Jesse did the same thing in the school parking lot shot up through my veins, and acting out of instinct, I started to pull away.

"What are you doing?" My voice seemed strained, though I wouldn't let that get the best of me – and started to struggle in the hold more.

I could tell that there was a smile in his tone. "What? You smell nice."

My expression dropped. "Let go."

I felt a small weight on my right shoulder. I turned my head, meeting Jesse's eyes again.

Things like this were what worried me; the 'at ease' expression he wore when I was about to explode.

His hold on my tightened, and he leaned forward just as the last time. I took in the look in his eyes, and realized that this was far from a chivalry act - but the determined glint in the navy shade had me worried even more.

As I felt his lips brush past mine – the worst thing I was thinking, was that in this hold, I didn't think I could slip out as easily as I thought. The only way I could escape were to stomp his shoe - but judging by how close he was by now, it'd be too late.

But there was also that offer he mentioned. I could let him...and by some chance he'd leave me alone...

But if that were to happen, I'd rather much he signed a contract of some sort first.

"Carson—?" My gaze snapped to the end of all of the study tables, to see a girl with reddish hair, and a blank expression at the sight before her. "Oh..."

"Katrina, w-w...what are you doing here?" I asked, surprised that Jesse released me when I took a step forward.

The blank expression she had morphed into a judge-like one, and I suddenly started to wonder what she was thinking. After all, she appeared to have walked in at the wrong time.

"I uh, well my mom drove you and me here. And I thought it wouldn't be a good idea to let you walk in the cold, so her and I came back," she said quietly, and then gestured to Jesse. "But...you probably already had a ride planned..."

I jumped. "No!" Her eyes widened at the sound of my voice. "I mean, no, I wasn't. I was just going to leave anyway."

With an awkward laugh, I stumbled forward to my stuff on the table – slinging my bag over my shoulder and quickly running up to Katrina.

After giving me a questioning stare, Katrina glanced at Jesse and then turned around for the door.

"Carson?" Sadly enough to say, it wasn't Katrina who said my name this time.

I stopped, feeling my breath leave me suddenly, knowing it was only from how long I was holding it. Turning around, I saw Jesse was leaning against the table where we were at – with his arms crossed and his eyes seeming luminescent.

"What?"

"Next time," he started, a small smile on his lips. "There won't be someone to bail you out."

If I said or thought that I was scared of his persistence before, then that was only because I didn't get to hear the promising sound in his voice when he said things like he just did.

So even though my pride was always swallowing me whole, I wanted to be the careless one - the one who could smile just as he did, and shatter hearts while he was at it.

I smiled, in a way similar to his - cool, and at ease. Instantly, I noticed his expression soften. "Hopefully, there won't."