Chapter 42: Time: Part 2

His anger is apparent, and the show of force yesterday as trucks came in, depositing screaming women and children in the camp, hinted that he’s snapped and taken them against their will.

It’s horrendous, and I watched in horror as women with bound wrists, roped so they couldn’t fight, were hauled out and unclamped to be reunited with hysterical children from another truck.

He separated them. Took babies from mothers to keep them compliant. Their mates followed soon after, giving up the fight and coming to submissive control to be with their families. Who does that?

It left mixed feelings among the Santos, and everyone has been on edge, nipping at one another, having to police the new additions in case they try to return home.

You can feel the utter disgust in the air around us. No one is questioning their alpha, but no one agrees with this.

The Santos aren’t as bad as I used to think they all were, and it’s evident that many are not like Juan at all.

Colton was beside him on the podium when the first trucks came in, and he couldn’t stomach it for more than seconds.

As he said something to his father, I could see his aggression mounting, his expression thunderous, his eyes glowing even from this distance, and his actions animated, showing his disapproval angrily.

They argued, and Colton stormed off and stayed out of sight for the rest of the deposit.

The elders all looked on in silent agreement with Juan, showing exactly who was the empty-hearted and power-hungry with all the control in this hierarchy—traitors to their kind.

It feels like this place is turning into a prison, much like the home was, with wardens, and it’s quickly collapsing around Juan’s ears as wolves begin to question this in the corners and hallways.

You hear the whispers, but they soon fall silent for fear it’ll get back to him. Everyone knows he’s ruthless and will punish any of them, blood or not.

He has his lethal pack of war-bitten psychotic wolves that do his bidding. His elders, his brother, and his beta. Four deathly loyal sub-packs at his beck and call if you dismiss Colton’s.

They are a mini army, strong enough to get wolves to fear them. Juan’s untouchable and has the force to back up his claim of being the uniting alpha. He rules with fear, not respect.

There’s no care in his heart.

There’s been no word of any vampire attacks beyond ours since the orphanage, or at least none that Juan has let anyone know about, and there have been no new hits or hints of a threat.

Apart from my new living situation, it’s like it never happened, and no one mentions the lives we lost that day. I didn’t even get to bury them or pay my last respects.

The cleanup crew moved in, and their bodies were burned outside the city limits, with no one being told until after it was done, like worthless trash that needed to be disposed of.

A black mark Juan wanted to wipe clean and push out of sight because ~he~ can never be seen to be failing at anything.

Juan hides more shame, the same way he hides his failure mate, Luna Sierra Santo. It seems he likes to keep secrets and pretend history is not what it is.

I wonder how many of the stories of our war victories have been exaggerated and twisted.

No one talks of the fallen or the battles they lost. They only teach us about the heroic wins and the wolves that came back.

“Tell me about it. Colton is high on my hit list today, not that I’ll get close enough to do anything about it.”

I sulk into my lap, answering Meadow, depressed and exhausted with this situation, and Meadow leans up on her elbows to look at me.

“He won’t even talk to me about it, chica. God knows I’ve tried, but he’s inside his head. He does this sometimes, although not for so long.

“He goes into lockdown and pushes everyone at arm’s length until he figures it out on his own. Been this way since the wars made him grow up way too fast.

“I think the impending full moon is only making him worse as the clock ticks down, and his father is still messing with his head.

“I swear, if Juan left him alone for just a week, maybe even a couple of days, that boy would soon see right and do what his heart is telling him.”

Meadow spreads star-shaped across the grass, staring at the sky, and blows out a massive lungful of air as though to expel her frustration.

“Has his father said anything more about Carmen?” I ask outright.

I’m afraid to have these conversations with her as they always leave me feeling worse, but she’s the only person I have had to talk to, and I know she’s on my side in this.

“Only that Colton needs to think of the future of his people. Honestly, I don’t even know why Juan is rooting for Carmen.

“A month ago, she wasn’t good enough when he constantly told him he needed to get serious and find a better mate. I don’t get it.”

Meadow shrugs, rolling on her side to perch herself up on one elbow, picking out some daisies, and twirls them between those talons she calls nails.

“Wait, what? I thought Juan was invested in her as the best femme for luna? He’s sure as hell fighting her corner hard enough!” I blanch, my head spinning to her entirely as rage ignites inside me, pushing self-pity down.

“Nah, you got that all wrong. Juan has never warmed to her. He only seemed to take any kind of interest in their relationship the second the Fates brought you to Cole as his compañera.

“Until then, he was one reason Cole hadn’t yet settled and marked her.

“He always whispered in his ear that he wasn’t ready, was too young and had time, and should sew some wild oats and live a little.

“He only started with this marking shit when he knew Cole had his sights set on you.”

“So, his dislike of me contradicts even that, screwing with Colton’s choice even before me. I swear, I wish I knew why he was so against me.

“It can’t just be because of the home and losing my family.” I exhale, grabbing at the grass in exasperation and yanking out some more stems before watching them blow through my fingers on the wind.

The are set free, roots severed, to find their own path wherever the wind blows them, and it stirs something in my head.

“The man is all about honor and power; it’s totally about you being one of the unwanted. It’s like a black mark on his bloodline to accept the Fates bonded one so unworthy of his only son.

“He’s obsessed. I don’t think he’s all there, you know, since the wars, a little ~loco~ if you ask me.”

She points at her temple and rotates her finger in a circle, leaning up farther to gaze at me with crossed eyes, jesting that he’s crazy, but it doesn’t bring any lightness to the conversation.

“I hate him. Even if he~ is~ mentally unwell, he’s the reason nothing in my life has been good for a long time,” I say.

“He’s the one who called the packs to unite and go to war. He’s the reason my mother left me to follow his call when they asked for warriors to protect our lands, even though he wasn’t our alpha.

“My father tried to stop her… he knew they had little chance of returning. He wasn’t a warrior; none of my people were.

“They should have stayed behind and protected the ones here, not left it to the children like Colton to take on a man’s job.”

There’s no point in dragging over the failings of the past, but I can’t help it. The wars were a shambles for our people, even if we did end up coming out on top.

The packs had no tactics or pulling together until it was almost too late.

There were so many who should never have left our weakest vulnerable to be watched over by young wolves or newly turned. We were lucky to survive attacks on our homelands at all.

“Juan isn’t the man he used to be. Cole didn’t just lose his mamá in those wars; his father came back a changed man. The battles, they got inside his head,” Meadow says.

“He wasn’t exactly soft before, but he only got worse. I think it’s why Colton clings on so hard, trying to win his approval, clawing to stay connected to the only parent he has left.

“His father single-handedly raised him and molded him into a man these past ten years.

“Cole’s loyal to a fault; he may seem tough sometimes, but he has his mamá’s warm heart and inability to see the worst in people. It’s his biggest strength, and yet, his worst flaw.”

Meadow and I stare intensely at each other, sad moods reflected before I break contact and gaze off into the clouds to try to find some peace.

My head’s a mess with all of this, my heart aching badly, as it has done for days now.

“Do you think Juan turned this way because of the luna too?” I ask.

I desperately want to understand why someone once respected among his pack is now feared and questioned, why his own hide in corners to disapprove of his tactics, where the “loyals” would never challenge.

That’s not the sign of a healthy, united pack. That’s the sign of a failing alpha clinging to his power. It is a sinking ship, and it doesn’t bode well for what Colton will inherit.

“I don’t know,” Meadow answers. “All I know is he’s not the uncle I knew as a girl, and I don’t recognize him anymore.

“Cole tries to pretend he’s still in there. Maybe he sees it and looks for the best in him. I think he fears being cast away like his mamá was and forgotten by all who love him if he pushes it.

“His father likes to throw it out there that Colton has her weak genes, and it’s probably why he tries so hard to do what Juan wants of him, to prove him wrong.”

“Colton isn’t weak… he’s confused,” I reply. “Even I can see that. What do you think Juan would do if he defied him and marked me on the full moon?

“Do you think Juan would send him away, send us away?” I have to know if there’s any hope of changing his mind, that maybe Colton will still come through for me.

“Even if his behavior tells me that he’s already pushed all indecision aside and chosen a path to take, I need to cling onto a tiny little ray that there’s still time to sway him.”

“I didn’t until Cole told me he believes his father would find a way to take you from him if he defied his decision,” Meadow says.

“Juan hasn’t said it outright, but he’s implied it. Cole worries that they’ll take you in the night the way his mamá was and kept from him, with no way of finding you again.

“God knows he hasn’t stopped trying to find her, but there’s no trace, and those who know, don’t speak about it. He’s no idea which of the elders helped.

“The shaman had no part in it. He’s also baffled about where she is and has been helping trace her.”

I always wondered about the shaman. Colton seems to trust him, and he doesn’t seem to spend his days by Juan’s side as the elders do.

“The shaman hides away until the turning ceremony each month and rarely comes out.

“How can he still blindly love a man who can do that to him? She was his mother.”

I despair at the thought, sinking into my crossed legs and perching my elbows on my knees to lean my chin into my palms, propping myself up while my body sags in deflation.

“Love, chica. It does loco things to rational people, and no matter how cold Juan is, Cole still loves him as a son should. He’s all he has in terms of a real family.

“His grandmother has a weird aversion to her grandson and barely looks at him. She’s Juan’s mother, and since birth, she has never bonded to Cole. It’s bizarre.” Meadows sighs heavily, too.

I can taste her hopelessness in the air seeping into me. She frowns down at the grass and returns to picking daisies, throwing them over her shoulder listlessly in distraction.

“There isn’t any hope for us, is there? Colton cutting me off… all of this… it’s to protect me. He’s going to mark Carmen, and that will be the end of it. I can feel it in my bones.

“Whether he loves me or not, his duty, reason, and stubborn nature all point to doing what’s expected because he thinks it will be a resolution that secures the pack’s future.

“And he cares about that more than about us.” As much as I go around in circles in my head, I can’t see any other outcome.

As much as I want him to be strong for me, it’s not really about that. He is strong; he just cares too much about the people he’s ~meant~ to care about.

Alpha’s in his blood, and putting the people first is part of the leading nature of his type.

As much as his gifts, personality, looks, and DNA, he’s programmed with this preset need to be bound to his duty for them.