Chapter 28: Chapter 28

in his crib when I entered the bedroom, his arms stretched out to both sides, little fingers curled into a loose fist. I bent over him, marveling at how peaceful he appeared, untouched by the events of the day. I stroked his cheek then quickly pulled back seeing the blood coating my fingers, hands, everything.

I went into the bathroom where I found Kiara, soaking in the bathtub, looking exhausted and pale. Yet, she smiled seeing me. I started to get out of my bloody clothes and dropped them on the floor.

“You have to be careful with your bandages,” Kiara said.

I searched the drawer for plastic wrap I kept handy for that occasion and wrapped it around my wrists. It wouldn’t hold long but it was better than nothing. The stitches would hold even if wet.

A myriad of things to say crossed my mind seeing my wife watching me in concern, but it seemed impossible to put them into words. “Can I join you?”

Kiara shook her head with a laugh. “Please.”

I glanced down my blood-covered body, then stepped into the tub and sank into the warm water. It turned pink at once, but Kiara didn’t seem bothered by it. She moved toward me with a sponge and started cleaning my face gently, then my throat and my shoulders. I regarded this woman, so full of kindness and love, cleaning me after my past almost killed her, after I came to her covered in the blood of men I’d tortured and killed to lay the past to rest.

“What is it?” she whispered, as she ran the sponge along my abs.

“I love you more than my life.”

Kiara touched my chest and kissed me. “The past is the past. We don’t linger, right?”

“Kiara,” I murmured. “What happened today, you must tell me if you have trouble dealing with it. I’m used to the darkness, I can deal, but if you need additional help, let me know. Don’t let this be your burden.”

Kiara smiled sadly. “It won’t be. I know you can deal with darkness, but so can I. I’ve lived through darkness. I’ve lived through it without anyone there to save me. I was alone with my fear, with everything. But today, I wasn’t, because I have you, and you’ll always save me. And because I have this family, who protects each other till death. I can deal, Nino, because the good outweighs the dark. Today even more than yesterday.”

I released a breath. Kiara leaned close, her lips almost touching mine. “I want to focus on the future, not the past. That’s what you taught me, and we have so many reasons to look forward to the future. I’m pregnant. I found out today before it happened.”

I froze, staring at Kiara, at the joy in her eyes. “You know for sure?”

“I was at the doctor’s today. I’m six weeks along. Alessio will be a big brother soon.”

I pulled her against me, not caring about my bandages, not caring about the burn in my arm where the bullet had graced me. I kissed her fiercely and pressed my palm against her belly.

“Are you happy?” she whispered.

My heart sped up, trying to put a finger on the sensations in my body but falling short. “I’m so many things right now, but seeing the joy in your eyes, yes, I’m happy.”

Kiara leaned her forehead against mine and we stayed like that until our skin wrinkled. After we’d dried each other, we headed into the bedroom and laid down, wrapped in each other’s arm.

“Do you have a name?” I asked after a while.

Kiara shook her head. “We don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl. But I’d like you to choose the name this time. I got to choose Alessio’s name.”

“I’ll find a beautiful name for our baby.” I listened to Kiara’s breathing then gripped her wrist, needing to feel her pulse.

“Are you okay with her being gone?” Kiara asked softly after a few minutes of silence. “You and Remo had hesitated so long to kill her, and now she’s dead.”

“I don’t regret that she’s dead, only that Remo and I didn’t do it sooner. As long as she was alive, she always remained that nagging ache at the back of our heads. Now she’s gone once and for all. The past can finally rest.”

gaming room around seven the next morning, any trace of yesterday’s attack was gone. I took in the clean floors and sofas. The smell of leather cleaner and disinfectant hung in the air, gone the blood and gasoline.

The French windows were open. Adamo was sitting on the terrace, arms wrapped around his knees. I went over to him and sank down on the ground. Shadows spread out under his eyes and his hands were red. “Did you clean everything?”

He nodded, not looking my way. “I had to. It was the least I could do.”

“You should have slept. Yesterday was hard for all of us.”

He finally turned to me. I searched his eyes for a sign of drugs but they were clear. “I didn’t need rest. I wasn’t the one who had to cut his wrists.” He looked at my bandages then at the wound on my bicep where a bullet had grazed me. “Or got shot.”

“It’ll heal,” I said. These wounds were nothing I couldn’t deal with. The memories would stay with me and haunt me, but they too would fade with time.

“I’m so fucking sorry. For everything,” Adamo whispered.

I touched his shoulder. “Learn from your mistakes, Adamo. That’s all I ask.”

“I can’t even look at Fina and Kiara. Because of me, they almost lost everything.”

“It’s the past.”

Adamo sighed.

“Will you be okay with what you did? Stabbing our mother?” I asked.

“I would have killed her. Right then, I wanted to. I didn’t because I knew you and Remo needed to do it.” He paused. “Right?”

Killing our mother had always hung like a Sword of Damocles over Remo’s and my head. Now that she was dead, I realized the deed itself had been easier than I thought. Maybe because of what our mother had almost done to Kiara and Alessio. It was the last straw.

“We needed to do it, and now she’s gone.”

Remo stepped outside and sat down beside us. “Finally, gone.”

Adamo watched him. “I’m—”

“I know,” Remo said. “I don’t give a fuck how often you apologize, it doesn’t change a goddamn thing. Prove yourself. Show us that you learned from your mistakes.”

“That’s what Nino said.”

“He’s a fucking genius, so listen to him.” Remo smelled Adamo’s clothes. “Now grab a shower.”

After a moment of hesitation, Adamo stood and left.

Remo watched me. “You look calm.”

“So do you,” I said. That was the surprising part.

“I am, and then I’m not,” he said. He flexed his bandaged wrists. “One moment I feel so much rage, I can hardly stop myself from going on a rampage. And then I feel relief. She’s gone once and for all.”

“She is. We killed her. Now we can move on.”

Remo smiled sardonically and nodded towards his wrist. “She left her mark. After all these years, she almost got what she wanted.”

It wasn’t the only mark she’d left. “She didn’t and she won’t. We prevailed.”

“It’s what we do,” Remo said. He searched my face. “How’s Kiara?”

“Good. Better than I thought she’d be.”

“Because she’s got a future she’s looking forward to.”

I nodded. “So do we.”

KIARA I hugged Adamo tightly. “I’ll miss you. Behave in New York all right? Luca’s strict.”

Adamo nodded then pulled back. “I’ll come to visit in summer for Fabiano’s wedding, and when you give birth to him.”

“Him?” I said curiously.

“You’re a boy mom. I can’t see you with a daughter. You whipped us into shape.”

I laughed at his assessment. “Okay. We’ll see. It’s still too early to tell. Will you come home for Christmas?”

“I don’t know. That’s only three months from now. I feel like I should really try to make myself useful in New York to thank Luca for taking me in.”

Remo snorted. “He isn’t doing it out of the goodness of his heart, trust me. He’ll want something in return and soon, and it’s not like you’re living in his house.”

“You’ll probably share a tiny apartment with millions of cockroaches,” Savio said with a grin. Adamo gave him the finger which Savio returned.

Adamo got into a car with Remo who would take him to the airport, but not accompany him to New York. Adamo didn’t want to arrive with a Capo and I got it. He wanted to prove himself.

Nino wrapped his arm around my shoulders as we watched them drive off and then we returned inside. “It’ll be strange without him,” I said.

Nino sighed. “Remo still doesn’t like it. It’s hard for him to let go like this, but I think it’s the best for Adamo.” We stopped at Alessio’s crib. “Luca doesn’t punish unjustly. We have to trust in that.”

“I think Adamo will learn to handle himself,” I said. Alessio opened his eyes and I leaned down and took him out, pressing him to my chest. “Maybe it’s good for peace as well. It could tighten our bond with the Famiglia.”

Nino nodded thoughtfully. I really hoped the truce would hold, not just because it allowed me to talk to Giulia and occasionally visit her. It meant we were safer.

“I’m starving,” Savio said as he sauntered over to the sofa and plopped down. “How about an afternoon pizza?”

I scoffed. “Is there something like that?”

“There used to be,” Savio said, cocking an eyebrow. Like Remo and Nino he’d stopped wearing bandages over his wrists a couple of days ago. The slashes glared an angry red on his wrists. Nino would cover them with tattoos once the wounds were healed. Savio’s eyes caught mine and he gave me a sardonic smile.

“Then order pizza. I’m sure Remo will be starving once he’s back,” Serafina said as she walked in carrying Greta. Nevio staggered toward Savio who got up from the sofa and picked up the pizza menu. Nevio followed after him like a shadow.

Savio glanced over his shoulder. “He’s a bit like those creepy little killer dolls from horror movies the way he stalks me and grins his little maniac Remo grin.”

Serafina looked indignant. “Don’t say that.”

Watching Nevio who clung to his leg, Savio took out his phone and ordered pizzas. When he hung up, he shook his head at Nevio, then picked him up anyway. “You peed on me. I haven’t forgotten and I won’t forgive.”

I went over to him. “And have you had any luck with emo girls yet?”

Savio tried to stop Nevio from touching the scars. “Nah. Haven’t tried yet. I need a few more days to recuperate to give it my all. I don’t like to disappoint the ladies.”

I wondered if what happened got to him more than he let on. He cast his eyes up and shook his head with a smirk.

“Don’t give me that look, Kiara. Take care of Nino, Alessio and the bun in your oven. I’m more resilient than bad weeds. I’ll fuck the memories straight out of my brain. That always works.”

“Fuck,” Nevio said in delight.

Savio’s eyes grew wide then he started laughing. Serafina came over and pinched his arm.

“I can’t believe one of his first words is fuck.”

“It’s not only Savio’s fault,” Nino reasoned with a smile. “Remo has a penchant for the word too.”

Serafina nodded reluctantly then released an exasperated sigh.

Savio held Nevio out to Serafina. “Here, take your little killer doll.”

“Fuck!” Nevio screamed, causing Greta to grin where she sat on the floor. She opened her mouth. Savio went over to her and squatted down. “Oh no, dollface. That word isn’t for you.”

I huffed and began rocking Alessio once more then handed him to Nino.

Fabiano and Leona joined us like they’d done almost every evening in the last two weeks since the attack. We’d grown closer than before, if that was possible, and I relished in the realization that a horrible day had brought something good for us.

Alessio slept in his crib while the rest of us settled on the sofas in the gaming room. Despite what had happened in these walls, the good of many other evenings still outweighed everything. Nino wrapped his arm around me as we ate our pizza, listening to Fabiano and Leona as they deliberated if they wanted a big feast or a small affair in the garden.

I smiled to myself, surrounded by family. I pressed my palm against my belly and after a moment Nino covered my hand with his. This was worth fighting for. Every day, every hour, every minute.