Elaine
Focusing on the cloud of steam coming from the beige ceramic mug I press both of my palms holding it as if my life depended on them. The heat courses through my freezing nerves as a jolt of satisfaction leaves my lips.
Lifting my gaze through the lashes I clear my throat to break the silence when the words die inside me in the presence of Alex's back.
He stood by the bed, his back facing me as he attended his wounds while IÂ gawked like a fish on drugs, as I let my eyes roam his bare skin.
Perfect was the term for whatever he was. Not built like dave neither tall like Aiden, but the lean muscles were at the required places. the dents on his back were more prominent as he leaned down to take a vial of disinfectant.
Not that I was suspecting Alex to not have flesh and bones under his clothing, But what left me off guard was the tattoo of an single angelic wing, like that of a phoenix that adorned his mid spine from back running through his right arm, dominating his skin completely, stopping only countable inches below his biceps were the tip of the dark feathers tipped into faded nothingness.
He never mentioned he had a tattoo. But then I realize he never mentioned anything to me ever. I was blind as a bat when it came to him, the basic things I know about him were just because I was a rebellious bat and well trained in technology.
They both had not uttered a single word after that, April picked us up from the spot before we could've died of hypothermia and bought us to their safe haven.
No matter how much I shove the thoughts away. I know what I heard. They were on repeat, faintly like a broken tape recorder.
"This was not an accident, this was a planned attempt on murder"
Murder, a shiver ran down my spine as I pictured all three of us cold, almost dead in the car, police barricades a couple square feet surrounding us. Sirens of ambulance and people I love fighting for their last breaths.
Love?
But Who would want to kill three harmless teenagers?
"The sweater looks nice on you" April said choosing a lone seat beside me near the kitchen bar. The twins lived in a bright and woody furnished studio apartment which had a vintage touch to it for a theme. A huge queen sized bed sat in the middle with grey couch bolted to the floor was right opposite the large flat screen T.V mounted on the wall.
The warm golden light bathing the room with a calm atmosphere did nothing to stop the rhythmic tapping of my foot with anticipation.
The adjoining small spare room on right with a stripe of pink caught my attention. It was enough to convince me who it belongs to.
"Great try to change the topic, but no. You can't fool me this time" I gave a pointed look at her way. Being the only person in the room who is clueless about what's going on is kind of an ultimatum towards the caliber of my patience.
I could see Alex's form stiffen at my words, though he tried his very best to pretend that buttoning a navy blue shirt was the most important task he had on his hands.
It was a little oversized seeing to that aiden was taller and much broader than him. He must be 6.2feet while I could bet alex was not more than 5.11.
I gulped taking a sip of my knightly coffee, hoping it'll save me from more embarrassment as it helped me with the cold. And yes, being ignored was an embarrassment in itself.
Aiden who had been awfully silent on the couch burst out abruptly "Are you going to ignore us all right now? as if nothing happened. I warned you so many times and all you did was ignore. But now it was our life at stake so I won't let you jerk deci _"
"Aiden, stop. Lets tal_"
"No, April not today. We never signed up for this."I saw raging disbelief in his eyes as if he was stuck between to choose pulling his hair out or breaking his toe.
April got up from her seat to join them as they stood at an angle in which I can optimize each of the emotions they were going through.
Alex's was blank as he watched me. It only meant one thing. He was shutting the door once again.
It angered me, bold and hot lava surged in me.
"Am I to sit here like a freaking mannequin while you argue about things that goes out of my head?" There must've been an edge in my calm yet controlled vexation as now I had the attention of the trio.
"Elaine" a pause later April said "we are not students, we are here on the orders of Mr.White who appointed us for the security of Alex"
It took me a second to comprehend her words, "Security? For what?"
This time Aiden decided to answer "Oh, because his billionaire of a father has dangerous contacts that can go to the length of threatening his son's life to get the work done"
His life was in danger, no scratch that it still is in danger.
When I didn't reply and refused to look at Alex for confirmation, he took it as a cue to continue "But he, being the mighty rich White boy he is, he refused all the high class securities. so we, two low life local criminals were manipulated to take the place in disguise. And guess what? I almost got killed today. We wanted the money, yes. But not when I could have it when I am six feet under the grave. Thank you very much" frustrated he ran his hands over his brown locks.
I didn't realize my heart was going wild inside as my sweaty palm went for the pendant, only to find it gone. It was safe in the room.
"He didn't tell you did he? About him, his father." April said, sounding pitiful.
Aiden threw an amused look at me as I tried my best to keep the hurt from taking over my features. They had been lying to my face all this time. For some reason, it felt like a deja vu.
With a breathy laugh, he started" why would he whe-
"One more word and you will regret it" the boy who i had been avoiding growled, all this time I could feel the cold eyes of Alex on me but I was too much of a coward to return it. Knowing he could see right through me. The hurt, the anger and sadness. He had already got through the walls I had around me. And i have only myself to blame for.
Why?
I wanted to scream at them. At him. Why did they have to lie to me? For the one moment I moved on from my past and found light in these people, they spat at my face and harshly woke me up from the illusion.
Hypocrite, smirked my conscience.
A dull ache trekked through my head again and I asked myself the same question again and again.
Why lie?
And then suddenly it was all clear. The strange behaviour of Aiden, them taking sudden interest in my friendlessness. The arguments between them. It was all right there at my face.
"I was a suspect" I said to myself, saying it aloud makes it more real.
"You thought I was behind the threats or what ever this shit is" though I hate to admit it my voice cracked at the end, giving away how much this ruckus has effected me.
Gathering up all my will power I look at Alex in the eye. I don't need justification from them, but him.
His eyes held nothing, like a lifeless block of ice the blue orbs saw through me, but gave away the only thing I hated.
Betrayal.
I don't know who this boy is anymore.
Suddenly Aiden and April were in front of me. Shading his view as they tried to reason.
"I am really sorry, but we we're just doing our job" her hands on my shoulder what suppose to be comforting but it only disgusted me.
"You lived few blocks away from him and worked as Ashleys babysitter. And you were the only girl who became his friend it was like all the odds were against you. But when I pulled out the drive-"
I gave Aiden a sharp look that conveyed the message of shut up or else I'll hit you in the balls. He obeyed.
"Drive? What drive?" April asked her brother confused, even the ice berg behind them appeared to be out of the loop as a small twitch of his lips trancended his brick of a face.
"Look Alex had nothing to do in this, we tried to change his mind about you but he denied every allegations beacuse he-
"Because I wanted to catch you red handed" each of his words cut through like a knife repeatedly upon my already shattered heart. If I had been in my room I would have welcomed the numbness which could be awared by an actual knife.
Don't even think about it, coward.
Not able to breath a second more the same air he was in, I jumped out of the seat to storm out of the apartment only to be held back by my wrist.
"Hell, Sorry" for a nanosecond I saw the old him as I hiss in pain. I had forgotten the injured wrist wrapped around a bandage which was covered by the extra long sleeve of Aprils maroon sweater.
Immediately he lets go of it and comes to stand in front of me, towering my height.
"Where are you going?" He asks.
The nerve of him. If he awaits a straight response to such a blatant stupid question then he doesn't know me well.
"To my underground mafia boss to inform him you survived a car crash. So that we both could sit and brood our next step" I glared while he rolled his eyes as if he was dealing with a child throwing tantrums.
"It's too late for you to walk home, April give me the keys. I'll drive y_"
"Oh no you won't, after what you did to me you have no right to even suggest anything" I spat my words, venom lacing my tone.
He saw a fuming me with a look of a pure boredom, as he caught the keys thrown at his way by April with ease. He turned on his heels and left through the door but not before muttering
"As you wish"
It broke me a little more if it was even possible with my present crumpled state.
I clenched my jaws so tight as it challenged the reliability of my teeth and gums. I refused to cry.
I motioned Aiden with the sign of my hand as he was about to propose something, I scrolled through the not so much ample amount of contacts blindly, touching a halt under the name of Nathan.
He took my call after multiple rings, his sleepy hoarse sound made me guilty all over again. I was using him just like old times.
He appeared surprised at my request but pulled over the address I had given him within the shortest duration one could've reached the apartment owing to the distance of his resident.
Not once did I glanced back at the twins who seem to know that it was best to leave me alone than trigger me with their existence.
"God you're freezing" Nathan said immediately pulling off his jacket from the back seat and handing it to me. Which I gladly wrapped around my shivering form. My hair was still damp as a result of the shower I took, and the strong fresh scent of April's lavender shampoo lingered in the car.
We drove in silence.
Until he stopped, pulling over the corner of the road.
"What happened?" He said shifting in his seat so he could face me, from the corner I could see he had folded his hands across his chest. But I decided to stare ahead.
"We had an accident" I bit the inside of my cheeks.
"What? Are you okay? Do we need to get you to a hospital?" The amount of concern in his voice made me jump in my seat as I looked at him like really saw him for the first time.
His hair was dishevelled, though he looked well rested there was still an ounce of tiredness in his eyes. He was in his track pants and a plain white t-shirt.
What were you expecting him to wear to bed? A tuxedo?
"I am fine" I lied.
Silence dominated among us. As he simply studied me as if I was an open book. He always did that. And it irked me. A lot.
"Is it about that boy?" I must be worn out because my ears picked up irritation in his utterance. And of course, Noah can keep a secret as good as tony stark could keep his sassy mouth shut.
"We are not together anymore" I inspected my fingers fiddling and knotting over one another to keep my tears at bay. But the blurry vision exclaimed it was time
I sniffled.
"Are you crying?"
I sniffled more in response.
"Oh God, he was a douchebag okay. Whoever the hell he was he lost a gem and you just have to say yes and I'll kick his ass as much as the time In My Feelings by drake goes on air on national radio" he gave his full attention to me as I couldn't help but giggle. I laughed while I cried. I must look like a retarded drunk.
"I don't think he ever liked me, we were never together in the first place. I guess I am just not worth it. To be happy you know" I looked at him in the eye and said bitterly. It must be the strange night air, making me confess stuffs that I won't. Especially to Nathan of all people.
He suddenly lifts up his hands as I flinch, but he simply tucks a stray strand of hair behind my ears. he gives me smile which said so many things but not pity.
He watched me for a few more seconds and it was not creepy at all. He wasn't figuring things out. It was like he was looking for the exact things he knew but concentrating to pin point it within me, with confidence he sat straight taking both of my hands in his big one's.
"I once met a girl who had survived destruction. Lost everything. Every one she cared about were gone. There were just thorns on her way. No roses as far as her sight could go"
I inhaled a deep breath, those words made me shudder from inside. And his dark brown eyes held pride as if to know such a girl was an honor itself.
"she was fragile and damaged, Anyone in her place would've given up. But She was different. She accepted her flaws, she counted her scars but never ignored them. She faced her weakness and learned from it, earned to be stronger each passing day. She was pushed deep to her limits , but she refused to drown. She got up and fought back. Because she knew everything will be worth at the end"
By now the traitorous tears spilled freely. He knows. And by the looks of it, He always had. Maybe I was not as surreptitious as I thought I was. Either way, his next words left me speechless. I wanted him to say it and yet not.
"She was beautiful, inside out. And even her name was as beautiful as her." He wiped the trail of tears with his thumb, resting it on my cheeks.
I closed my eyes, a heavy pause later he said it. The name slowly rolling out of his tongue like he had chanted it many times. With ease.
"Elzina Winston, that's what her name was"
May be it was the night again. May be it was the desperation in me. But I cried for so long I lost count after thirty seconds.
Or May be it was the after effect of hearing someone say your name after five long painful years.
The name that was once mine.
The one that I had buried, with them.
***