Alex
Breath!
Breath harder.
Burning sensation travelled my mid rib as it danced it's way to my injured shoulder, I clutched the steering wheel in a taunting grip. The knuckles turned white but the pain in my arms increased because of the force exerted.
I secretly wished it. The desire to punish myself was fresh. Like a healing flesh was torn open, again. I could feel myself being sucked back by the nightmares of past.
The night, the harsh words, the mistake, the regret and her.
I saw it in Elaine's eyes, the same bitterness and a broken soul beneath. She reminded me so much of her.
They both refused to cry in front of me. The only difference was I was naive enough to think she was strong, but now I know only the weaker ones are afraid of letting their emotions control them.
I know it because I am one of them.
And I ruined her. I broke Elaine's trust and I am never getting it back.
Glaring at the needle which frowned around the increasing speed, I pushed the gas further to its limit.
I wanted to catch you red handed.
Saying those words aloud to her killed a part of me. Each moment in that room I painted the canvas of her elegance in my memory, because I knew that once I mess up everything, I won't be having her back.
Heck the only time I pictured myself catching her was when she would fall in love with me, so that I would never let her go.
Yes, I love her. It took me three months, turning Jace into pulp twice, Aiden's stupid suspicion, sleepless nights, a possessive heart, and a realization trip to Orlando to make me slap myself and accept defeat from my inner battle.
Only to ruin her with my curse. But she doesn't even have a clue that it has destroyed me tonight. To hold her unconscious body in my arms and to know I could've lost her was enough to wreck me.
It's for her own safety.
Breath!
You should have listened to your Father.
Inhale
Aiden warned you about that suspicious car following us.
Exhale.
You know someday this was bound to happen. You don't deserve her.
Breath.
I can't.
Changing the gears I took the car off the coast, pulling over the side. I got out slamming the door shut. The storm was long gone leaving behind its traces of the wet smell of dirt and heavy breeze.
Similar to our situation.
My phone has been constantly irritating me with April's calls, probably to check up if I am still alive.
With a furious grip on it, I thrust it forward with shrilling scream to let out my frustration. It vanished in between the wild bushes.
I kick the car hoping It would help. Destroying things always had a calming effect on my anger.
The road lay across, with wilderness on both sides, and at two it was eerily empty except for a teenager with issues.
Closing my eyes I took deep breaths, counting backwards as the doctor had advised. But all I could think about was how I left her behind.
Shit.
Knowing her she wouldn't let the twins accompany her, and it's not safe for her to walk home this late at night through this route. I should have dragged that stubborn girl here with me. But I was solely able to focus was on getting away from those accusing grey eyes that held disgust.
I rushed into the slope, drifting over the dirt for mobile. When I found it, I let out a breath of relief when the soft light fell on my face, it survived the attack.
I rang back pest 2.
"Where the hell are you? If you hadn't picked up another one of my calls I was about to reach out for police" April screamed over the phone and I neglected the urge to flinch.
"Where is Elaine?" there was a pause.
"She left"
"What? And you let her go, alone?" I asked already getting inside the car so that I could go back and force her into the car when I find her. Not persuade. was she stupid enough to think she could walk the way home?.
"No, a friend came to pick her up" there was a long silence, as if she waited for my reaction.
"Was it Noah?" I cleared my throat, trying to appear nonchalant.
"I don't think Noah even has a license. But no. I haven't seen him around school or anywhere" him, so it's a boy.
This is seriously not a time to get jealous.
"Are you there?" The call bought me back to the original confrontation going on.
"Yes"
"This is not safe you know. I could have come along with you just in case_
"Just in case someone tries to play tag with the car so I end up dead?" I completed for her in not so lenient way.
"Why do you guys care?" I said almost a whisper. I was tired, fatigued by people sacrificing things for me.
There was a moment long stretched contemplation. Before she started.
"My mom has a brain tumor and our dad left us, but he left us with nothing but a rooftop that could dismantle any moment. When mom was diagnosed we sold whatever we had in order to provide her the affordable treatment. But it wasn't enough." I could hear her voice shaking, I could picture the unshed tears in her eyes. I never thought she would answer, but now I feel guilty about asking her.
I know the feeling of being helpless, I go through it when I see my mom doing her best to sense the life on her legs. Money was never a problem, but even medical failed to bring back what she had lost years ago. Motivation.
"Medical bills were ridiculous, but they said she can be treated. We saw no other way, we were high school drop outs with job that made us struggle for daily breads. One day aidens friend introduced us to underworld marketing, we grabbed the offer. Six months passed , we were still broke. But mom was stable until when doctor offered the option of surgery. The digits on bill were something we weren't prepared for. But that's when fate had different plans for us. That's when Mr. Blakewall found us" I could feel the smile on her face when she mentioned Ian Blakewall, he was my fathers attorney who basically had to live at our house because he was my father's most prized possession. Or it felt like it.
He was a man in his late forties, though he was loyal to my father, he also stood his ground when he thought ill of his boss's scheme.
We both knew father was not the best of man, and this led to our bonding. He was more of a father to me than my own father.
And I haven't talked with him in almost a year.
"I am sorry" I said genuinely as I saw a black cadillac drive by, I revised my own.
"you don't have to. You see, saving you is saving my mama. And you better get things right with Elaine. She's a brave girl Alex, she'll understand"
"I don't want to. If someone is actually after me the farther she is away from me the better." She hung up after she sighed, I heard her say yeah right.
She didn't believe me, I didn't either as I intently followed the cadillac, I know it was her in the car, With someone she never mentioned.
I stopped at a visual distance away from her home so I won't draw suspicion. The shadows of the nearby tree curtained the car.
This is stalking.
A new low for me.
Congratulations.
Four days ago, it was then when Aiden came to me. Warning me to stay alarmed on the presence of Elaine. I know something had happened between them and they were terrible at hiding it. But even after that, there wasn't a moment or a second when I had second thoughts about my faith in Elaine. But I did manage to rile up when I saw Aiden fooling around her as if he was not the one sniffing trouble around her.
A boy stepped out first as he strides towards the other door. With a clenched jaw, I saw him open the door as Elaine got out. She bumped her fist over his shoulder, though I couldn't see his face in the darkness, the white of his grinning teeth was visible.
If only I could knock them out.
He walked her to her door, and now I noticed a huge jacked on her small frame. And I had one leisure option to know who it belonged to.
The nameless face had his back to me as he leaned in for a hug and she returned it with an equal will. He caressed her brown locks as if assuring her about something.
If only I could break those fingers, limbs by limbs.
Stop it.
You don't control who she wants to be with. Remember you are not worth it.
I run my hands over my hair, gathering into my fist, tugging them as if grasping the practical thoughts in my mind.
I know it was selfish on my part to want her for myself. But now that I know I can't have her, what I feel Is pure Madness. The urge to get back what I thought was mine is almost psychotic.
I fumble with my phone as scroll through the names, so many people from Florida. The names I had locked it up at the back of my memory. The people I never felt like meeting again.
It was almost three, the time of a devil. And she'll pick up the call because she knows I don't exactly like being ignored.
"Tell me it's a dream or the man finally has some use for this useless menial" peoples chatters and loud music blared over the other side. She's always been a party girl. I could even imagine her playing with her lip ring with her tongue, smirking as she talked with me.
"Clarissa" I draw her name out slowly, it felt alien to pronounce it after so long. From the corner I watched, I saw the boy leave as Elaine locked the doors .
"One whole year man, my name sounds so fascinating from your lips still" she giggled, no amount of years can change her.
"I have a job for you" I cut to the point as I draw lazy circles on the dashboard with my index.
"I know that much love, now tell me what my favourite boy in the world wants from this hispanic girl"
"I send you the number of a car and you simply find its owner. Then you bring him to me" I could feel her thinking, pouting even. But she won't say no. She can be dramtic with me but clarissa has seen better to know I don't like no for an answer.
"Where do I have to bring him? I don't know where you are. It's like you vanished all of a sudden" curiosily she asked.
"I'll tell when you find him, now get done with it. At the earliest"
"Premiere service for the White boy" I rolled my eyes as I end the call. The end result will take time. Aiden with four eyes had the eagles sight, he had suspected the car following us and had noted it's number, as much as I hate to admit. I am grateful. But he doesn't need to know that.
But on the contrary, when I get my hands on whoever is behind this fiasco, they will regret ever being born. I'll make sure of it.
Meanwhile, I sit back comfortably lean my skull upon the headrest, staring at her window. It was the closest I could be with her.
Seconds passed to minutes and minutes to hours how long I kept this going on until I felt the bright rays of light upon my eyes as I opened them. The busy morning street greeted me.
I studied my watch, it read 8.35 am.
Great! I groaned as my neck echoed a cracking sound when I moved due to the uncomfortable position I slept in and the soreness on my shoulder hummed over my collarbone.
For a while I sat there, my eyes diverting back to her closed window white blinds on. She sure does have an obsession with the colour.
"My Dad had white tuxedo that he'd wear most of the time. His obsession was worse" she had said when I once asked her. She really had an amazing family.
I drove around the town to clear my mind, not bothering to shower or change. I stopped at a place with banners of young men flocking colorful hairs or bearing stoic constipated look for a pose.
I entered, smell of window cleaners and hair spray eloped me as a hard built man probably in his thirties walked upto.
"First customer of the day, how may I help you." He walked me to the rotating blue chair, I sat on it as he grinned while he touched the roots of my hair. Why is he so happy? What is so good about this morning?
He didn't seem to mind a teenager boring holes through his head with the help of the reflection from the mirror mounted in front of him.
"what a unique hair colour." He whispered to himself smiling.
"Change it"
He paused, frowned at me through the mirror.
"What?"
"I said I want you to change my hair colour into something dark, like yours" I said coldly as I observed his chocolate brown hair with lighter highlights on front through the mirror.
"Are you sure lad, your hair is perf-"
"Do as I say, change it".
***