Elaine
I watched helpless as mom shuffled through the cupboard, travel bag on bed. Her hands shivering but body rigid. Trying her best to control her nerves. For me.
"What's going on?" I whisper tears now falling freely.
She paused, turning to look at me. Gently cupping my cheeks with her warm hands she kisses me on forehead. My eyes flutters shut.
"Here" she removes the locket which Dad had given her for their tenth anniversary, and slipping it around my head. The blue stone falls coldly around my skin.
"Why are you giving me this?" I cleared my throat sniffing. I know something was wrong. Dad wasn't home and after an unfortunate call mom has been acting restless.
"Because I want you to ha_" the lights suddenly go out, darkness falling upon us like a blanket. Leaving mid sentence she stalks to the window.
"Mom" I call out. Attempting to Reach her. A loud crash resonates the house.
"Go hide" suddenly she shoves me, inside the cupboard. Motions me to keep quiet with her finger. Her silhouette is the only thing i see as the rays of moonlight sprinkled around us. Teasing our vision.
"Elzi promise me you won't make a noise no matter what happens" she whispers. Holding my hands in tight grasp. I nod, knowing it's the only thing I could do.
"I love you baby"she breaths, slowly pulling her hands away. She closes the door.
"Please don't" I plead. As I watch her stalk to the drawer on the night table through the crack on the cupboard. Taking deep breaths, one bigger than the other.
She takes something out, though I couldn't see it. I know by the sound of it. It was metal.
She leaves the room.
I wait for the time she'll come back. Slouched by the corner. Cold and scared. Only silence and darkness as company, nothing else.
Soon it changes when I heard it.
A loud seering sound. Like a cracker busting.
Like a gun shot.
It goes off again, and again and again.
Till I use the heel of my palms to shield my ears.
But it was no use. I could hear the scream.
Her scream.
With a jolt I snapped open my eyes, breathing in the oxygen as if my life depended on it, and it did. Sweat matted my head and streaks of tears coarsed my cheeks.
"It's okay, it was a bad dream" a voice convinced me. I was in Dianas embrace, she ran her fingers through my hairs combing it. Calming me.
I snuggled more, clutching her shirt through my blanket.
It wasn't a nightmare. It was the night locked up in the secluded corner of my head, which I refused to relive. It was the name I had tried to erase from my memory all these years.
I was Elaine, weak, defenseless and broken. Elzina was my past who was dead in my head. Wanting nothing from this world except to forget whatever that came with it.
But tonight, I faced the sound of it and I know I can't pretend to be someone else anymore.
Day 1
I ignored calls and texts from Nathan.
I refused to get out of my bed. Exception to use the bathroom and for food.
"Can we talk about it?" Diana sat at the edge of my bed, patiently looking at a girl sprawled in bed, twirling a strand of her hair staring at her white ceiling.
"Sure, IT is a stephen kings horror novel comprising of a made up town called Derry maine, where kids a_"
"You know what I am talking about Elaine, please! I am doing my best to be there for you. But you have to let me in" she said a little quiet now. Exhaustion prominent in her tone.
"You let your self in, didn't even bother to knock on the door" I reasoned. Still not looking at her.
"You skipped school today, and as far as I know enough of you to acknowledge that skipping classes is a big deal for you Elaine" her gaze was strong on my face, and I met them with equal stance this time.
"Big deal for Elaine, not Elzina"
Her eyes widened, I had made it clear that no one would ever mention the name ever four years ago. To this date, she strictly followed the protocol. And now that I uttered the name which I thought was a curse so easily. She seems speechless.
God It sounds like a personality disorder if I go on thinking about it way too deep.
"I will be okay, you don't have to worry about me" I said sitting up, we exchange couple of glances and she nods accepting my words, and leaves.
I fall back to my original position.
Day 2
I ignored calls and text from Nathan.
Creepily smiled at my reflection because I could. EDM blared through out my room as I munched on cookies baked by Diana.
It was her way of showing me she cared. And by finishing it all up it was my way of declaring I cared too. Well mostly about the cookies.
I want her to hate me. It'll be easy when I leave her behind. I don't want her to have false hope about a normal life with me. Instead it would be a satisfaction to hear her scream good riddance once I am gone.
Day 3
I ignored calls and texts from Nathan.
There were no more tears shed after that night with him.
Ice creams were still neatly tucked inside the freezer.
And the only movies I watched were science fictions.
And I finally decided to take a shower.
Living off pizzas, chilli fries, solving math problems for fun, studying ancient Egypt life and learning how to pick locks you can say my break up was not exactly break uply?
Maybe it's because I know I am different. I always have been. Not the way we all have unique diverse qualities, but the fact that I was born to people who were peculiar themselves.
My Father, Fredrick Winston was a man who had a warehouse for a brain, photographic memory, curious senses and a premier class nerd. He met my mom, Elizabeth Winston a piano prodigy in high school, fell in love, got married and had me.
Seven months was all it took for me to start using my feet, and by four I could hit the math clubs originally designed for third graders. By eight I was at the top of my piano charts, could play the toughest compositions, by ten could twist colours into something meaningful, they called it art and by eleven I was already four grades ahead of students my age.
I was a child everyone wished they had, with an IQ of 158 I was genius classified.
And when we moved to Summersville, I had already missed a grade, but to not draw any suspicion I took the classes the student of my age would, in simple I studied sophomore and junior year all over again.
"Why are you here again?" with a narrowed eye I waved the spatula to his face as Nathan followed the movement as a puppy, and an actual puppy in his hand as brave enjoyed the cuddle.
I did mention brushing of his technical efforts to reach me. But did I mentioned the physical presence is quite difficult to omit?
When I opened my eye's to enjoy a fine Sunday afternoon, not morning afternoon I lunged out of bed screaming as the face of a boy hovered above me. The first thing I did was mentally plan a privacy contract and force Diana to sign it. I mean who lets a guy into a girl's room to creepily stare at her sleeping form? Where did the idea even came from?
Twilight Elzi Twilight.
"Do I need a reason to come to this place? I actually feel used by you sometimes" he said as he feigned a hurt look. Going as far to place one of his hands above where his heart is.
"That is because you are being used" I said smirking, going back to flip the pancakes chef style.
"You see bra this woman here is a meanie, you should come with me I have a female dog with whom you can spend some quality time with" he wiggled his brows as he brought brave to face to face holding him like an infant.
I groaned "I thought you grew up when you had your brooding look on and worked on your muscles rather than throwing marvel references at me, and I am going to kill Noah"
"Now that I have the doubts out, I don't see the reason why I should be awkward with you anymore? And I am glad you noticed my muscles" he flexed and kissed them. And they say eighteen is adulthood. They should meet Nathan someday.
I took a sip of orange juice from the carton.
He watched me with pure shock and disbelief "I thought girls don't do that." But then he composed himself and smiled "And before you woke up I did the same thing, drank from the same carton so, we just indirectly kissed"
I choked, a little more choking later a drop of drool slipped from the corner which I wiped with the back of my hands.
And ladies and gentlemen I present you the real Nathan Ross. More handful than Noah and crazier. And that should explain most of it.
"Real lady like" he snorted as I glared.
"And bra? Seriously?"
"One fine day the sky was sunny and my nose was runny, Noah called me hyperventilating. He said and I quote 'brother please help me, I think I lost Elaine's bra" and guess what he did later, he screamed with joy still on the phone as he said bra is running across a monkey bar chasing a kid and then hung up. And I was left speechless for hours till I confronted him about it. When he explained. Let's say I felt life was being pumped back on me." He shuddered as if the things he imagined was traumatizing. It would've been the same with me. I took a moments to picture my purple bra taking stroll in a park with its straps as its legs.
"It's brave"
"I think I'll stick to the other one" he smirked and I rolled my eyes passing him a plate with a fork.
We ate in silence, I took the time to count the amount of you's in Rihannas this is what you came for. Then I hit Nathan with an apple, it landed perfectly on his forehead as he tried to steal a brownie from my plate and then I walked across the breakfast bar and was about to grab him by the ear when he caught me by my wrist and pulled me into a hug.
He was still seated but yet towered over me. One hand rested at my waist while other soothingly caressed my back. Returning the hug with same comfort I inhaled his scent, lemon grass and menthol.
"You don't have to talk about it today, I will wait as long as you want. But just remember that you can trust me anytime on anything" I nodded as he untangled me from the embrace.
"Thank you" I smiled genuinely. Then I gathered all the pressure and stomped at his feet.
"Ow, ow, ow" he hopped around a while as I laughed. A vile laugh.
"What was that for?" he whined.
"That was for keeping things from me" with two of my fingers I did a peace sign and smiled sheepishly. Then I walked to my room and brought a pillow. He rose his eyebrow in question. As I ran to him with a war scream and attacked him. Mercilessly.
"What" hit
"Is-" smack
"Wrong-" loud crash.
"With me?" I completed for him. as I throw the blue stapler at him. Clean goal as it landed on his butt. We ran around the hall, hopped over tables, spilled things, somersaulted and screamed our lungs out.
At a point, we both were armed with spatulas each. The sword fight lasted for eight minutes approximately before he gave up when I got my hands over a baseball bat.
"You went through my medical files huh?" I said blowing the hairs out of my messy, sweaty face as he peeked his head from the washroom.
"I am sorry, I was curious okay. But it's not everyday you get to have a friend who has secret identity like those in movies and I - oh shit" his head immediately vanished as he smacked the door shut right when I was about to reward him with a rotten milk as conditioner.
"You will pay for fooling me Nathaniel" I growled as I heard a snicker. I would've been fine with him finding out a bit about Elzina, but no one dares to mess with her the way he did. And now that he knows my real name. There was no harm in showing him my real self as well right?
"Why is there a rubber duck in your tub?" I heard him say. Then a squeak echoed followed by the other. "Well, what do I see, the duck has a name too, Mr. ducky Barnes?" he must've seen the bottom where I had written it with a permanent Marker. "Don't you think it's a little hypocrisy on your part to label me as a marvel geek, when you, your self seem to be one?"
"Go through my stuff and you'll regret ever being born" red faced I knocked on the door. I could imagine him ignoring my threats as he pirouettes around.
"Why do you have axe in here? And what is that- wait" my heart was pounding in my chest,
"What is it?, keep it aside you just can't barge into my washroom and enquire. The axe belongs to Noah by the way and now is the time you come out or I am going to break the door out of its hinges." I literally felt steam rising out of my nose and ears.
"I would like to see you try?" he said amused.
"Once you're out yo-" there was a sound of something hitting the sink, something like pebbles. My eyes widened in realization.
"Nathan? come out now" there was no answer, no jokes, or cocky response.
"Nate-" My words died in my throats as the door was angrily ripped open with an equal flaring Nathan. I took a look at his hands which now held a couple of orange bottles like he wants to crush them into dust. Half of the pills already gone.
"Explain this" I took a step back at his enraged tone, it was a complete change from what he was a minute back. He reminded me of Alex and his mood swings. I know the pain was still there, I choose to not feel them for now. I still don't know how am I going to react when I will be forced to face him at school tomorrow.
"Doxepine? Ramelteons?" running his hands over his hair he shakes his head with a mock smile.
"I-I can explain"
"You can't Elzina" he was angry, it was the first time he called me by my real name and by the sound of it looks like he's been using the name to connect it with my face. Like I was never Elaine for him.
"list-"
"How are you going to explain these powerful sedatives and how many more anti depressant inside. You think these are skittles? You pop them and drumrolls you are fine? Have you ever thought about the long term effects? Mixings these drugs for your age, having more or less could leave you -
He stopped when he noticed that I had gone all quiet, taking in his rants. And not arguing over it. He takes a step towards me and I retreat one back.
"You know it right, I am repeating things which you already know" his voice was low and dangerous as I gulp in fear.
With silence, I admit as I stare at the wall behind his head.
I could feel his gaze at me for a long, long time. But unlike Alex whose were cold and intense at the same time, his were curious. It had always fascinated me to see how similar we were, the itch to know things, the knack for knowledge and the thirst for acquiring skills. These were the reason I wanted him to teach me things that challenges my capacity. It has always been like that.
And I bet his brain works the same. That or he is really concerned and angry.
"We are going out" he suddenly passed by me, grabbed my jacket from the hook as I catch it with ease when he throws it at me.
"And why are we going out?" I ask zipping up while he tied his boots.
"Because if I stay here a second more I would end up doing something I would regret"
"Like what?"
"I don't think you would want to know that"
***