Elaine
Nathaniel: I am bored.
El: It was your idea to visit a park.
Nathaniel: It was suppose to be fun. And you are no fun.
El.: Oh yeah? How am I suppose to be fun when you refuse to even talk with me?
Nathaniel: Because I am angry at you and I don't want to see you right now.
El: You are sitting right beside me.
Nathaniel: But I am not looking at you. And why do you have my name saved under Nathaniel?
El: So you're peaking at my screen now huh? And why not, since you hate being called by your full name.
"One more text from you and I am done," I said aloud looking at a couple playing frisbee. It was bright, sun was at its most highlighted self, bathing the whole park with a warm glow.
We were sitting under the calm shadow of a willow tree, texting each other as brave took strolls under our visual guidance.
"I think I'll call you El, it's easy and no one would suspect," he said scratching his neck not meeting my eyes.
"You already have saved my number under it, so why pretend as if you just came up with it?" I deadpanned.
"Geez, why do you have to be so blunt about it? And you were sneaking on my phone too so that makes us equal." He said shifting the hood upon his head as I preached the earphones back in their place, the compress cushions tightly embracing my ears. It was immediately yanked back as I curse.
"Woah, did you just swear?" He asked impressed, the headphones now twirling between his fingers like a hula hoop. The faint rhythm of mad hatter by Melanie Martinez buzzing in air.
"I am not that much of a good girl as you think I am" I rolled my eyes as I tried to grab them back, only he pulled his arms high.
"You lost the image of a good girl the day you asked me to train you to become the greatest hacker this century had ever witnessed" he raised his fist in the air for the effect while I gave him a look that one would when they are about to die, from the hands of the person who Is looking at them as if they are about to die. From their hands.
I was about to argue when I saw a soccer ball freely tore through the wind and was in the process of crashing with my face. My mouth formed an O . Everything happened in slow motion. My reflexes were on hiatus and my eyes were shut. Cheeks waiting for the impact which never came.
I slowly opened one of my eyes to see a hand holding the ball, they were connected to a body, and it was Nathan.
And he frowned at what was about to happen, then grinned when he realized what he did and then scowled when he saw a boy jogging towards us, probably to ask for the ball which he oh so graciously kicked in my direction.
As he neared I took a sharp intake of breath and squinted. I doubt that ball was an accident.
"Elaine?" Tyler asked when he saw me.
"Tyler" I said coldly,looking up at him.I was way past fearing him. He hadn't showed up to me or bullied me after I took the much required stand, but It doesn't mean he vanished. He was still there but just not as popular as before or as sick.
After the incident with Jace and Karly the whole school saw it better to leave me alone and not get on the bad side of Alex.
Alex.
He still confuses me so much. Why do so much for me when all he wished was to find out a culprit? Why help me?, why betray me? Why break me?
Thinking about him was like a bad memory, but like the pain of it, that would fade eventually. This seems to stick like glue owing to the fact that I have to confront him. I need answers.
"You know each other?" Nathan questioned with a raised brow, eyeing both of us.
"Yes" we say in unison.
"We go to the same school" I picked on the grass as I ignored them.
"Are you_ are you Nathan Ross?" A really interested Tyler asked him to which he smirked.
"Why yes I am"
"I can't believe this I am finally meeting you" he extended his hand for a hand shake to which Nathan gladly returned with an equal manly gesture from the ground.
"You are like the king of LAN parties and I was honored to be in one, It was sick man" Tyler grinned as if he was Announced as the happily wedded husband to Kylie Jenner.
"I can't help it, this town only depends on me for some fun and I am best at what I do" I snort at that, there by catching their attention.
"Says the guy who had a sword fight with spatula a few hours back"
"Wait_ you know him?" A shocked Tyler asked me with his mouth open for the flies to tour around his cavities.
"My dear friend El here is jealous of my popularity, but I assure you she is cute when she wants to be" I gave them a bored look and resumed playing with the grass. Twirling it between my fingers and slicing them into half.
"Why are you here mate?" He asked balancing the ball in his index.
"For the ball?" Nathan stopped short, looked at him for a while and gave him a deadly look.
"So it was you who almost hit El with this" there must have been a hunch of threat in his tone as Tyler visibly gulped.
"If you want your balls to be safe, you better take care of where you kick this ball" he handed him the ball, and there was so much mention of balls in this coversation that I losted count after three.
With shivering clutch on the ball he bid us both a curt nod of goodbye and left. He was never seen again.
Kidding, he just walked a little before coming back to us.
Confused we both frowned at him.
"Do you_ do you wanna join the game?" He offered, I observed he was desperate to get on the good side of Nathan. Was it only me who sees him as an immature kid stuck in adults body?
He shrugged simply, getting up on his feet, dramatically dusting his pants from invisible elements.
"Let's go then, El is on her periods so I don't think she could play" my mouth agape in shock I watched him, how does he know?
"I know a lot of medical facts, unlike clueless guys I do know how a girl acts when she is in the time of her month. And all you did was glare, stare and flare when you saw even a harmless fly buzzing past you. So I kind of guessed. And judging by the look on your face I am right" smiling he took the ball from Tyler's hand and strode towards a group of people who were warming up.
My cheeks were red from so many emotions. Maybe he's right. It sure is the PMS playing tricks on limbic system of my temporal lobe. That should explain the weird system collapse of my logical capacity to think.
"I still can't believe this" I forgot Tyler was still here. He sat beside me as if it was the most normal thing to do. The bully and the bullied sitting under tree. Wait_ what am I thinking again?. Yes I hate periods.
"Believe what?"
"That you are friends with him" his lips twitched as if the taste of those words were unreal.
"I can't believe either", I said, but my thinking were nowhere near admiration. But deep inside I know I was more than grateful that he was the same person still. It doesn't take a genius, though I am a genius, to realize he's trying his best to make me laugh. To break inside the walls I had built around myself. He may have found a bit of my real self, but even he knows that one doesn't change one identity for fun.
He had his suspicions, but he knows better than to jump to conclusions. He knows what I lost, but not what I know. No one does. It was something I want to figure out myself.
"I am sorry" my head snapped to meet Tyler's gaze. He must've been staring at me for long since it took him by surprise when I narrowed my eyes in question.
"That's funny," I said.
He looked at me for a while, I refused to give up. I had always given up on his harsh cold stares. Letting him win the pleasure of showing me the inferiority I was labeled as.
But today was different. These three days have changed me so much than my entire existence could've combined. I was not scared anymore. One would be if they had anything to lose. But for me, I was done.
All I felt was bitterness, anger, and indifference over matters involving generosity. It was like I want to become a person to repel any sort of good vibes coming my way. Since now that I know it's going to be an illusion at the end.
All thanks to a boy with white hair. Now I want to hate the color white too.
"I am tired okay?" He said running a hand over his face exhausted.
"Tired of bullying me?"
He gave me a shut up and let me finish look. And I rolled my eyes watching Nathan hit a goal and smile radiantly at me. I gave him a thumbs up for motivation.
"Of pretending to be someone who I am not" now this perked my senses. As I diverted my full attention to him, leaning my back against the rough surface of the tree.
"Go ahead, I am listening Wren" I motioned him with a wave of my hands.
"You don't have to make it so hard for me, I know I was an idiot back then. I was-"
"Stupid?"
"Yes"
"Dickhead?"
"That too"
"Imbeci_"
"Can you let me talk for myself?" He interrupted with frustration lacing his voice.
"Can I? Should I?" I was testing his limits now, would be a lie if I wasn't enjoying it.
"Please" he says. It weighs me.
"Sure" I smiled with fake sweetness dripping out of them.
"I was blinded by the idea of popularity and fame, when you were a new student everyone saw you as the freak you sat at the last and stared out of the window. But there was something about you that was different. You never listened to the classes and yet you had the best grades. You solved problems as if you grew up doing it your whole life"
Because I did. I wanted to add.
"I was an amateur popular guy at that time who was forced to take a bet to prove himself" the atmosphere went through an uncomfortable silence as we both recalled those days.
"Where was I? Yeah, the bet. When I got to know you up close, I instantly regretted ever taking it. You were cool, smart, funny and you doodled during classes." There was a pause when I saw him smile at something. Like at a memory.
"I wanted to be your friend, but I also wished for the popularity. I tried explaining to them about you but they laughed at my face. In the end, you could guess what I chose"
"But why bully me even after the bet?"
"Because I was angry."
"Angry at what?"
"I don't know. At everything, at my stupid choices, at my actions, at how I lost my chance with you, and at how I was never going to get back the girl I ever liked. Because I messed up." He saw me concerned look taking over his features, he waited for me to take it all in.
"What? You like me?" I startled us both with my tone. He flinched as I sat confused at the revelation. Who would bully a girl they like?
"I said liked" he emphasized the tense which I ignored "Not in a romantical manner. But at least as a person. I admired your courage"
It. Didn't. Help.
"It's the same thing, why would you put me through so much pain when you found me..just...just fine? Is this some bet all over again. If so then I am warning you unlike three years back you'll reg-"
"I wanted to make you feel worthless so that I could convince myself that you are no match for me. Even as a friend. I envied you. I still do"
I could hear the blood pumping through my heart. My jaws clenched and my hands balled into fists. And I do have a valid reason to beat him black and blue.
"Thats really"
"Messed up?"
"Yes"
"Crazy?"
"That too"
"I know. I realized that the hard way when I saw Alex White taking interest in you. I kept people away from you all these years. But he was different, just like you." He took in a deep breath, licked his lips.
"No matter what I did, he would eventually find a way to get back to you. At one point I had enough and I threatened you to stay away from him. But then you said those things, and it left me dumbstruck. You made it clear how much you hated my existence and it was then I accepted the reality. It went like this. At first, I appreciated you, then envied and then admired. You were so strong and determined. And I was just me." We both stared ahead at nothing in particular. It was too much to understand even for a girl like me.
"Alex is lucky to have you. You know"
"We are not together" I said not missing a beat, void of any sentimental weight.
"What?"
"We never liked each other" it crushed a part of me to add one more lie to the already soaring mountain of forged truths I have built.
"Now that's like denying the fact that I am hot" he smirked, I was about to argue, to make him be aware of his delusion when
"If there isn't something going on between you two already then I don't see the point at why I am being shot with virtual daggers by him right now" he nodded directing me to see behind me with the twitch of his head.
Confused I followed his line of vision, only for my senses to bid me farewell and deal with a racing heart.
At the parking leaning his back against his red porsche. Arms folded and the sleeves of his black shirt rolled till his elbows, he stood far, but not as far to be discreet.
He wasn't even bothered by the fact that we were looking at him now, instead the glare intensified. But I was too engrossed with his appearance than to be interpreting the motive behind his presence here. The brown hair, he had dyed them. And it did a pretty good job at making him pretty than he already was. He looked so much older and intimidating. I saw a pack of girls swoon at him. I was too.
Get a grip.
And I got one too. Someones grip on my shoulder caused me to divide my attention to the source.
"We should leave now. I am hungry" a sweaty Nathan leaned to pick his belongings. I nod agreeing with him.
I peered back in the direction immediately, only to see him gone, there was no car or any other sign that he was there in the first place.
I scan my side expecting to see Tyler, but he had vanished too. Maybe he was way more intimidated by Alex than me. Nathan gave me a questioning look.
"You okay? You look weird"
"I am on my periods, I am supposed to be acting weird".
***