Elaine
Gingerly running the tip of my fingers over the cold edge of my Non Alcoholic drink, I narrowed my eyes at the flat look on the face of a certain green eyed boy, who for a reason unknown stared at me in an unobstructed manner. Like I was an intriguing element of his lab experiment gone wrong
And then then his lips parted to spew his intentions out.
"You look-"
"Pale?" Mike raised his brows and hands in mock surrender as I Snapped at him.
"I was about to say restless or nervous. Probably both" he deadpanned shrugging, circling the straw as he mixed the contents of his drink.
"I am not" trying to play off cool, I add nonchalantly. But failed miserably as I cracked at the end.
With a faint sarcastic chuckle he tilts to face me, leaning his side with his elbows propped upon the bar counter. His lips ever so slightly curving into a knowing smile. And then he started on something which frenziedly went above my head.
"When I was young, I had a pet cockroach" the solemn sincerity in his tone forced me to take his words seriously as I imagined his little visage petting the crisp shell of a bug. It was ridiculous even inside my head. But we were talking about Mike here, so normal was not an option.
"I named him Sir Ralph" he watched the top of my head, but his gaze was distant as if recalling the past memories "A week before his death, based on the pattern of his changing demeanor, l predicted his exact date of demise. Let's say, the event took place not a day more or less"
Nodding precariously I deeply condemn the wheels on my brain to extract a logical link between his revelation and our current conversation.
"So what you are trying to imply is?" I drawl out as he squares his shoulder, discarding the straw out as he took a sip directly from the glass.
"I am good at reading animals, so when it Comes to humans I know what one looks like when they want to throw themselves out of a window" he smirks as I sigh, he was a scanner and to waste my time convincing him of something highly mighty about my emotions, which was all over the place would just be a futile attempt. So I lean my head against the bar and mumbled incoherently.
"Not a fan of high school parties?" he mutters softly.
I close my eyes thinking back vividly, the two sole parties that I ever attended flashes before my eyes. The one with Tyler's betrayal and the other involving the disastrous rage of a certain boy who sat a good few meters away right now in a semi cubicle corner with his friends.
The very niche of suffocation that I had excused myself out of when it got too much.
"Them and I don't go well" I sighed again, listing out the mental patters of how they end up each time. But this was entirely a different dark tale.
A shudder enough to cleanse my ruptured thoughts and whirl wind of emotions that dawned upon me drastically once the phone call ended.
It was safe to say that numbness was what aced over my body. I tried joining them back, the screwed up delusions and paranoia into a collected, presentable self. But it was too late.
When Lee had mentioned about a suspicious surprise party that they had planned for us, unconsciously I nodded an approval to join them. And half an hour later I was clothed in a pair of silver-grey dress shirt and black leggings, all while cursing at my stupidity.
But when we arrived at the venue did every ounce of optimism, not that there were any, in my body evaporated leaving behind a trail of dread and regret.
Among all the enthusiastic cluster of definition of the Lit splurge they had organized. Lee had forgotten to mention the not so meager detail that played quite a big role.
This was a freaking pool party and they never once uttered a term or anything close to water.
Apparently it wasn't a big deal for them, but me?
My ears rag with frequencies every time I heard someone dive into them. The loud splatters of their arms taking control of the matter around. The one thing I could never do even though I had done it countless wise when I was young.
Swim.
It won't let me.
The sense of almost dying, helplessness as my body fails dragging in water like a gush of air as it burned my lungs, the feel of lightheadedness as my body screamed for help. And to see it happen to your family right before your eyes and could do nothing about it.
It was all fresh, they never go away or rot into a crumbled segments. It's always lucid and strong.
Sitting up straighter, I look at my phone to see if Nathan was here. I had texted him my location and pathetically pleaded him with emojis to pick me up, and the word pool was enough for him to text me back with.
I'll be there in five. Try not to get into trouble.
As if I ask for them. But the Cities traffic is a nuisance that no one aspires for either. The one he's stuck in.
"You are a bad liar" Mike say studying me once again.
I frown as my lips snarls into a disappointment. For years I lied to people on their face, probably a characteristic I had acquired from my parents. Kudos to them for causing this onset of sudden bitterness in me but no one ever criticized over my ability at lying.
Perhaps because they never entirely divulged to see the world of cosmic false hood I had built around myself to know what a mess I was.
"What makes you say so?"
"For instance, you want to leave this place for more than one reason. And you came here not because you were thirsty. It was because you wanted to get away from something that really bothered you." I looked at him sternly, as I try to grasp his motives, he comically dusts his pants getting off the stool.
"Nathan texted you to keep an eye on me again,right? That's why you followed me here." Thinning my lips I icily balm him with my question as he smirks, technically giving away the answer.
Swearing under my breath I run a hand through my hairs. As if we both in the nick of moment sensed a gaze on us we turned to look at the direction, The couch were Lee sat as he waved for us to come back. This bar was the farthest corner from the water, for now it was a sanctuary but not for long as Mike arched his brows waiting for me to act upon Lee's invitation.
"You don't have to baby sit me, I am capable of taking care of myself" I hiss, as I got to my full height, my converse firm against the concrete, but neck craned, sadly to look at his face.
"I never said anything about guarding you. It's just that drama explodes whenever it's you involved, I am kindly escorting the entertainment I see in you" with my mouth agape I fall on step with him, the vibrating music floats over us like a lively breeze.
"You have no soul" I declare annoyed as he shakes his head.
"Are you sure you are talking about me and not Alexander" I stay silent as we near, there was this aura and frustrating vibes about Mike that screams you to keep your mouth shut, he just knows the right strings to pull at extremely wrong times.
But still out of curiosity I ask fiddling with my Fingers, that was less disarrayed than the knots in my stomach.
"So-" Stretching the term, scrunching up my nose I continue"you have a spider or centipede for a pet now since you are all grown up?"
Parting the decorative strip threads that fell as a curtain and parted the tarn area from this secluded corner, he paused his actions as he throws me a look of superior disbelief.
"No Elaine. I don't keep bugs as a pet anymore"
I nod, kind of merry to know he was indeed humane and Their was a possibility he will soon learn to act like one. But I thought that too soon-
"But I do own a rare African python exclusively from Cape town"
Rooted to the ground I stayed back, counting till three I checked my phone. No damn luck as I got in.
The semicircle was prominent a circle of people who with different but friendly emotions welcomed me back. Edmund scooted as I sat beside him at the side.
"So what's going on?" I tweedle, contributing to Lee's mysterious entusiasm as he grins. Mike takes a seat beside Riley, much to her dismay as she frowns. From the past week, since our return the banter and subtle trade of their disapproving gaze has been prominent to say the least.
It was quite hilarious to see and conclude that Riley was Mikes next victim. He was pushing all her buttons as even now he made a gagging motion after accidentally but intentionally taking a sip from her strawberry milkshake that she had placed upon the glass table that sat in the middle.
"We were about to play the classic game of truth or dare. With only dare as rules" Lee fills me in as I nod. Edmund beside me grumbles about how immature this is going to be, since it involves people like Lee.
The game began and since I never had anyone to play games with me before, except the one's while I rolled over the controllers distractedly losing in the end to Noah who cheated every single time. This was all new to me as i watched them drag each other into more embaressing dares than before.
Edmund was asked to remove his shirt for full five minutes. He looked more than comfortable doing so, and I have a fair Idea why.
I mean no one complained about the view. Not even me. But frowned blushing when he caught me staring, Alex looked like he was in a quest to find a blanket and cover him up as he glared at his exposed skin.
When he buttoned up his shirt back, I swear I heard Riley sigh as Mike raised a brow at her.
Mike on the other hand wasn't so lucky as he received a highly pg 13 rated lap dance from Lee. I have a reason to believe the first thing he would do is take shower once he returns.
Hailey chugged a can of coke in one go. It pained my throat to watch alone, but she did it with ease. Jared moved to check if it was water inside. But lets say, her trachea was immune to the abuse of aerated drinks.
But the startling work of artistic scene was when clarrisa dared jared.
"I am not doing it" jared whined like kid, and then I realized that he was indeed a kid and this was something even adults would think thrice before saying no.
"Chicken" Riley coughed smiling wickedly as jared took a glimpse at a bored looking Alex who watched him with sincere look of blankness that even black hole can grow envious towards.
"I am not going to lick his cheeks. No" firmly he rooted on his words when clarissa offered an alternative. It was worse, it was pityful.
"Lick his cheek or Kiss Mike. What's your choice?"
Jareds face contorted to a visible pain as Mike grumbled about why they hate him so much.
"I die either ways" he declares and thats when Alex rolls his eyes and motions him to come to him.
The sentence may sound wrong but that's just the task Jared carries out, stumbling over he looks down at Alex and he Looks up at him. Angling his face he waits.
"I don't have the whole night. Use that tongue of yours kid" we all weirdly bruise our laugh by coughing and snoting as Jared jumps startled. Crouching down he licks his cheeks and hurriedly flies back to his designated spot.
Alex then uses a wet wipe, that he mysteriously produced out from thin air and rubbed it against his skin till it accquired an angry pink shade. The color of a baby's butt with mild diaper rash.
I took the time to scan the surrounding. This side was dimmer than the colossal out door hub. But illuminated enough to produce a heathy and florescent glow.
I have no intention to know why they even expended the money on pool when all they did was sit at a semi indoor part and play games. Some times understanding them was fruitless
The whole school was here tough, enjoying themselves and occasionally passing sour glares at my direction when I wasn't looking. They don't bully me, but neither approve of me.
But it doesn't matter now. I just have a day before I leave it all behind.
But do I want to?
Will the answeres from Ian Blakewall be enough to make me strive to further my actions regarding that night? Enough For me to to nurture a hope for justice? For me to find a closure?
I don't know.
Only time will tell. Only he could tell.
"So Elaine. Do you agree?" My ears perks up at the mention of my name as I look at the source. Riley looks at me innocently.
I frown, agree to what?
But I stupidly find myself nodding yes to what ever the thing is that required my approval.
Beside me Edmund stiffened. A series of silence falls over as I think deeply back to the possibilities that Riley could've mentioned.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Edmund faintly says only for me to hear, I turn to look at him when I spot Alex, his gaze rigid on floor, jaw clenched as he fisted his hand upon his thighs.
"Do what?" I whisper back at him, getting worked up by the second.
"You agreed for a dare to kiss me"
It falls to my stomach. My heart, like a stone flung over water. I watch Edmund with wide eyes as he looks at me deeply. I never fantasised above the speciality and magic of first kiss, albeit I had a certain someone to count on for the act, I never had the time or let's face it, I was a peculiar girl with odd functioning brain. So gnawing on such things were secondary to me.
But now, I felt it. The pressure and sheerness of the moment as everyone in the room waited for me to put on a show for them.
"Elaine, you don't have_"
"No" Edmund's lips twitches into amusement as I cut him off abruptly as I scoot closer, tucking hairs from both the sides behind my ear as I gear up for it.
I've been told enough about what to do my entire life. Now I decide what I should or could do with myself.
Or atleast try to live a bit, the way one of my age does. Live a gush before everything that could possibly change soon.
"Elai_"
"Shut up" he chuckles as I place my plams against his jaws, the rough edges of budding stubble ticklish against my skin.
"I never thought you would be so desperate to do this" he smirks as I frown, still promoting good vibes into my head which for some avid reason clashes destructively against the denial from my heart.
Not wasting a moment in second thought I lean, but before it could happen_
"Oh shit" there was a loud crash as we both jump from the trance, turning we both look at the source of noise as Alex stood there breathing angrily, he must've gotten up abruptly as the contents and glasses at the table were toppled over, rolling aimlessly.
"I guess we have seen enough of idiocy today. I am going back" with that he throws a last dead glance at us before walking out.
I heave a breath that I had been holding for long. And that's when Nathans texts pops up.
Outside. The guards won't let me in. Come out.
Pocketing my phone I look back up at the shocked and distracted watchers as they saw the mess Alex left behind.
And the scary part was I was so used to it that it sparsely effected me. But little did I knew that this once everything was going to change tonight.
"My friend is here to pick me up. Thanks for such an amazing time Lee. "
Skeptical yet determined I got up forcibly smiling at them. They said nothing, but again it don't have be done verbally as their features converted the message of confusion and doubt utterly well.
And Edmund's were the worst. He looked torn between helping me or to lag a second over before he could let his irritation speak.
"I should get going now" without further ado I turned, but realize the passage way to exit was a hurdle in itself.
Filled with hate induced hyenas at one side with pool on the other. But with my head ducked down on a slow chant of prayers I walk.
Almost at the middle, I felt the brightness of scattered blue spectrum bath the floor and walls with exquisite pattern of waves. Stealing a glance at the pool I saw that it was empty, expect for a large multi colored air ball floating lonely by the center.
The sour sent of chlorine whiffs past me as my hair dances to its rhythms.
The music and chatters at my right, with girls in robe and boys in trunks laughs at something. Their crackle keeps me occupied as I speed up my pace.
That is until a furious clutch on my arm halts me, pausing my great escape in mid route as it knocks the breath out of me when the grasp on me forcefully whirls me around.
"Leaving so soon?" the blue in his eyes were so dark that even the luminous from the beaming water did nothing to light the hollowness clothing them.
"Alex, let me go and stop creating a scene" breathing I said calmly, barricading the collision of a beating heart inside my rib cage.
"Why? Are you afraid that People will find out about us?" he grits bringing his free hand and holding my other arm in a vice grip as he pulls me closer.
My eyes wavers around as I see the crowd divert their attention upon us. Shivering internally, I look back at him, shuffling my thoughts for a way to distract him or at least rile him enough to reduce him back to the block of ice that he usually impersonated.
But it was the heat and current between us that intensified and multiplied by the second like a chain reaction that flawed any dramaless night I was hoping for.
"There is no us Alex. There never was" I said weakly, my voice which increased manifold.
"Then tell me why do I feel like destroying my own best friend for trying to steal what's mine." My breathing hitches as he murmurs huskily, bring a hand to graze my lower lip with his thumb.
"I am not a thing that you can own Alex. You lost me the day you doubted me" I said turning away from his touch. I watch him close his eyes for a brief moment. And when I saw those eyes again, I was taken aback by the unblemished and crystal plead in them.
I saw him fight the raging emotion within him, as he did his best to let me in.
But for once, it was me who fought to hold myself back. I can't do this, I can't let him destroy me anymore.
"Edmund is better than you" I paused to stare at my undoing as he fixes his gaze on me, lips parting slightly as I push some distance between us by placing a firm hand over his chest.
"I know he won't hurt me, and since he is not you, he is someone who treats me like I am worth it and not an object" I blinked, hazardously peeking a glance at him to see him crumble. I used his best friend to crush him, and this was a guilt I have to live with.
"Like me?" he says testing those words softly as he looks at the space between us. "What am I like Elaine?" he looks at me for answer, the iciness back on full force. Shielding every cycle and humanity of his soul.
"You are like a hurricane Alex, the more I get closer to you the more I lose control over my own self" determined to confine the cracks upon the wall between us I take the last leap. Hurting and breaking us both, so that we could mend into something better, without each other.
"You are toxic Alex, and I've had enough of you to wish for a life without you"
I expected him to melt me with his anger or freeze me with those icy glares. But when he silently stared at me running his gaze, over my face as if memorizing every detail and cracks as I fenced my emotion, forgetting the fact for a moment that I was standing just few steps away from a colossal body of water.
And then to my surprise he smirks, they weren't the usual snarky curve of lips that annoys you. But the bitter and cruelly promising one, chilling you to the core.
I scowl at him as he takes a step towards me, hesitantly I retreat a calculated one back.
"W_what are you doing?"I stutter as the action resumes, decreasing the space between the hell behind me as he once again grabs me by the shoulder, with a zenith of uncomprehendable hostility.
"I despise you with so much passion at the moment that it's alarming to even think about it. You shouldn't have done this to me" his nails dug onto my arms through the thin fabric of my shirt, while the other tucks a strand of her brunette hair behind the ears with a sinister smile.
"Then don't think, and leave me alone" I hissed, shuffling my posture to loosen the grasp, But in vain. My legs were already wobbly mere by the thought of so much water surrounding them. The pool behind me glistened an enchanting, but quivering patterns under the night sky. Just like me, unstable and erratic.
"You don't belong here," he seethed, his minty breath fanning my cheeks. For the first time ever he targeted my status as I subtly explored the warning behind his terms. "But since there's no turning back now, the wolf in me would love to have some fun with the sheep in you" he smirked.
Wolf.
That was the right term for these people as I scanned the faces in the party. Each held uncanny emotion of that of a predator. Some looked amused while other jealous or even as far as disgusted by the mystery of why did Alexander White even bothered to stand in such close proximity with a girl like me.
Inhaling deeply I gathered courage to stare right into his eyes, those dark blue gaze held no kind fervour or warmth that I used to see in the eyes of the boy i once adored with all his imperfections. Instead they were now hollow and promised annihilation.
I did this to him.
But what he could do, was something I don't even have the strength or audacity to comprehend about.
"There are way better things I am bothered about Alex, And you don't even exist on my scale of worries right now" liar. I thought to myself. I was here for a reason to survive, this place and people has the answer I seek.
On hearing my words something seem to snap in him, fury.
"Then I'll make sure to work hard, so that I'll be on the top of your scale again. something Is better than nothing Elaine. If I failed to be loved by you, then I'll make sure you'll hate me enough to not forget me." with that he pressed his palms against my shoulders and with a flick of his wrist he pushed me.
The scream died in my throat as I felt my balance quiver, and then I was falling in trance, till my body hits the cold water.
Wishing they were cold enough to induce me numb.
***