Elaine
"I can't do this anymore"
"Do what?"
"This pretending" watching straight ahead as the road ascended by I felt the crackle of Ian's throat being cleared as he drives.
"We agreed that until cotillion you shall-"
"I can't" I almost scream in frustration "I can't lie to him anymore"
Silence. He paused for a moment probably amused by my outburst. Combine the messed up aura I had around with my damp unkept hair, old worn out maroon hoodie and an equally unkept and worn down temper and emotion.
I wait for him to say something and after a long chore of steering right and left he utters a lone syllable.
"Him?"
Now it was my turn to awkwardly gather around the terms.
I let go of my vocals a push. Sliding the fact that how similar would it have been to expose my current relationship status if dad would've been alive.
It's just Ian.
Who looks so desperate at times to jump in and pull over the role of my father. Like for instance this morning. Early Saturday morning he had called me to meet him outside.
And when I did, all wrecked and clearly distraught to glumness after what happened last night. He asked me to get in the car. And without a question I did.
Alex and I barely conversed last night. Like we both, in closure and silence fought our own thoughts off.
But the reassuring hug he gave me just before I could fall back into the sanctuary of my room was more that I could ask for.
At that moment he felt like home.
"Alex" with the certain realization of how strongly I feel for him I reel out. Without a flicker of hesitation.
Ian doesn't seem bothered or surprised.
"So you both are_?" he drawls out in question, his gaze fixed to the road.
Sighing I pull my hood lower, hugging my legs to chest as I cross my calves in 'x' not caring the way my sock clad heels pressed over the edge of Ian's fancy leather car seat.
I don't answer him. My silence signified more of my confession and commitment than my words could.
"The last time we met, you told me that Thomas was just an acquaintance" he consciously leaves the statement hanging as I provide him with the one word that represents everything a teenager wants to say but couldn't possibly. The chant of an average young youth.
"It's complicated, and it's Alex"
Crucially decrypting my answer he surprises me with another question, more like a concern.
"Does the boy treat you right?" inclining his head to look at me, he halts at the stop sign.
Scowling I throw a look of disbelief at him. The man in his tux and Bluetooth earpiece with the enigma of power suddenly a mere human who happens to hold the reins to what I should and shouldn't be saying or doing.
Someone whose words made sense. Without making sense.
"He treats me right with truth. But I can't say the same about me" huffing I run my fingers through the tangles of knotted hair.
"I know it must be really hard on you. But it's the best for everyone"
"It's easy for you to say" I grit my teeth. As he gears up the speed again. Tossing the hexagonal crystal weight I had be aimlessly playing with, back to its place.
I hear him sign in tiredness, as I gnaw with slight guilt at the tantrums I had been throwing around.
"I really want you to have a normal life Elzi. It's only a matter of time before everyone officially finds it out. Till that I want you to trust me. Can I expect from you?" like turning back around the pages of a book I found myself sucked into the same old position. I don't agree. Not even a nod. Just a persistent plead in my eyes as I looked at him.
The rays of dawning sun, now full blown soaring brightness bathing the car with a hue of daylight.
In such atmosphere the prominent lines of his age and experience tamed my protest.
He knows what he's doing, and what has to be done.
So I look away.
Watching the road stretch between the lanes, the dotting of tall structures filling the edges.
At that moment, I decided to tell him.
About the accident Alex had acknowledge me about.
I hadn't even finished it entirely as he swiveled the car to the side and killed the engine with abrupt moments, startled I thinned my lips with a frown.
He snaps his head in my direction with angry cresses of his own.
"You tell me this now?"
Gulping in the little moisture, I realize the flub of my leniency towards a matter, which by Ian's reaction obviously seems to colossal act of stupidity.
"Pack your bags, I am taking you to the academy"
"What?" I crack, shrieking.
"Didn't you listen the first time?" he had a warning edge to his tone. Like an Alpha. Like a father. "You are going to live with us. With my family. With the best security I could provi-"
"No"
"I am not asking"
"Alex had it figured out, well kind of"
"He is a kid himself"
"Please"
That did the job. His stern gaze softened as he watched me with what could be only called as sympathy.
"I don't want to be alone again" I add it with such a small and scared voice that it was pathetic. Because that's what I was, a scared girl with a hope so aesthetic that it had no beginning or an end. Just a sea of endless mysteries and threats.
"I promise to take care of myself. I won't leave the academy ground without anyone with me. I'll call you up if I feel like something is wrong, I'll even-"
"Okay"
"Please let me- wait what?" the anxiousness flawed into confusion and then relief as I realized what he had said. Then again I saw the barely there, the tiniest of smile that Ian composed into seriousness as he watched me go in frenzy, then in a state of peace.
"But there will be certain rules that you'll follow and if you breach any, even one of it. I will take next to none of your opinion" he said sternly as I nod like a puppy who had been asked on where about of his toys.
"Thank you" I chirp, grinning the size of Russia.
He muttered something about young stubborn people. Clearly not satisfied by the arrangements.
But to me, I was more ecstatic about how I convinced him and actually won over an argument with a world reowned Lawyer.
"So-"I stretch it for effect "Where are we going?" I hadn't noticed in my little bubble of Self Satisfaction that the car had now pulled over the parking lot of a large glass building. Ian had basically ushered me to get in the car this morning and I had got in without much of a question.
Since unlike last time when he had his chauffeur come and pick me up, this wise he himself carried the job. So in reflex thinking I assumed that it must be something really important.
He doesn't answer and gets out, I follow his motion with a sinking heart as I walk behind him to the lobby. From there we take an elevator to the top most floor to an encounter with the most lavish corridor I had ever seen.
The glass entranceway to each side immensely stood out as something that's commonly known as pent house.
I turn to Ian with a doubtful look, he already was looking at me with a smile. Nervous but confident.
"I know I can't give you what you want. For now. But your family is something even I can't keep you apart from. And beside, as for the moral and etiquette trainer I was talking about. I don't think anyone could do it better than your own grandmother" he addresses it with such sincerity that it takes me a while to absorb how real this was.
With my mouth gaping open and closing like a drugged sloth I whisper-scream with joy.
"For real?"
He wrinkles his nose in spite of his hard efforts to not doing such as he nods with a small smile.
With a adrenaline so high, I surprise him with a hug as he chuckles patting the top of my head.
"Thank you, thank you so much" i squeak, by his waist because of the factual reality of how tall he was. Taller than Edmund or Mike even. I guess now I know whose height Clarissa had acquired.
"It's okay kid. Life has been too unfair to you, it's time we now change it" I nod with a smile as we both face the door again.
"She's waiting inside" he says.
"Does she know?" I ask, a sour bile of emotions clogging my voice.
"She does now. I told her everything yesterday."
The specific segment had me frowning as I looked at him perplexed.
"What do you mean by she knows it now?" I emphasis on now as i question him.
He heaves a breath, his eyes fixed to the ground as he looked at it thoughtfully for a moment.
"Not everyone knows that you survived Elzi"
"What do you mean" I say in the same reflective tone as his, my eyes narrowing down and lips clamped in with a knowledge that I want to hear from his mouth.
He scrubs his jaw with his palm and gives me a stare that demanded me for understanding.
"I had it declared that you died in that accident too. No one had seen you or your family before, everyone just knew a name with no face to connect them with. It was the only way to keep you safe wherever you were. To make the one think that you don't exist so whoever it was will give up, until I reach you. But I guess I Failed at that too" I expected the rage to blot out from somewhere after what he said, but you could tell by a look that what he said had an inert yet completely logical deal to it.
"Do we even have a lead?" my voice sounded so distanced and broken. His orbs flickered alive as if he wasn't expecting me to make amends with what he said so quick and move on to something so straight forward.
His expression falls into a shadow of sympathy "leave that to me. For today just look forward to the meet. Live like you are of your age" he smiles. I nod still disconnected.
But before we enter I ask one question that I had left. No one knows how I look like, but they do know who I am.
"Does he think that Elzina Winston is dead too?" I could feel the trashing and collapsing of my heart beat, Ian doesn't require a name to know who I was talking about. Alex.
And with one word he left me with revelation so cold, it was good as death.
"Yes"
With that he doesn't wait as he rings the bell while I stood wide eyed, my senses mutilated into a mush of so many things.
How could he act so nonchalant after he just told me that my boyfriend thinks that I am dead.
"Take my advice Elzi. Everything for some other day, today is an important day for you so stop thinking so much. I know your brain works miles, but lets give it a break to it, now shall we" he motioned me with his hand as the door opened, a butler with not so welcoming smile bowed down to us. To which none of us responded.
As rude it was a gesture, we walk in with me scowling like a kicked out puppy at the back of customized tailored grey suit of Ian.
If I had kept that up any longer I would've gone cross eyed.
That is if, because as soon as we entered the woman with her back to us, standing all poised and polished into a human of high character turned to face us.
And suddenly the large, penthouse seem to shrink lower till my focus was on her. On The one the whole stuart seem so unnaturally afraid of.
I don't even look over the cloth and crocs that I donned, her perfect posture of her hands placed one above another carried more etiquette than the kind I'll ever demonstrate over my whole life span.
But it was her eyes that took me completely aback. Instead the judgement and authority like that I found in them when I first met her. They now held warmth and tears. With love and care as she took me in.
Ian moved to the side to give us some space and with loss of words we tried to connect with the lack of it.
I guess Ian was right to ask you to focus on today rather than past.
I tried to speak and all it came out was a cacophony of air
And then ever so lightly she walked to me, her each step, the clink of heels echoed over the drop dead silence in house. When she stood directly in front of me did I croaked open my mouth to utter the one word that felt so alien, yet so familiar.
"Granma" it was so low, a breathy whisper as she smiles. The crinkles of her eyes, more loving from ups close as she hugged me.
"Oh sweetie. I am so sorry." She soothes my nerves by letting my hideous hood fall as she caressed my hair with her fingers.
Let's hope she doesn't find the knots.
Shut up.
With a red nose as I held in back those happy tears I cracked a smile.
"You're here now. That's all I want" I Reassure her by placing a hand above hers.
From a distance I felt Ian trying to grab our attention by vibrating his vocals. I could feel his awkwardness since I had been in such position more times than It was humanly possible.
"I would leave you both to catch up" he nods as my grandmother tips her head in a grateful gesture.
Right before Ian could leave through the door Mike barged in, causing the quite, serene atmosphere a startle.
"Sorry Nana I am aware that I am late by five minutes" he blurts while checking the time on his watch and frowning as he looks up to see Ian by the door.
Ian scans him with a smile as he still, frowns.
Then Ian leaves, Mike now confused gives his attention to the rug for an answer. Then looks up to see us, the scowl turning deeper.
"That's not a way to enter a room Michael, ever heard of the manner that involved knocking?"
He blinks at her then apologises entirely while his gaze remained glued to my face.
Then he asks the question which will in future will unveil all of his doubts. Even the question that he expected the rug to answer him with.
"Nana. I thought you told me to be here for a family meet?" he asks trading his gaze from her to me.
"I most certainly did" she says with a slight glint of sawg in her eyes. And at that moment I knew that Mike and his Nana had a bond that surpassed the barriers of an adult and kid. Friendship.
"Then what is Elaine doing here among us?" he scrutinizes me carefully.
For that, my grand mother had the perfect solution.
"Why don't we sit down and discuss this over a cup of coffee?"
And discuss we did.
More like Mike tried hard to diss the cuss terms as she told him about everything with occasional input by my part which was silenced by a glare from Mike who hasn't taken the job of being my cousin so joyfully as he does about his animals.
To relive the story was aching, But to finally open up was what felt like the wound being tended.
Mike had been supportive with acute reactions of his brows reaching his hairline and periodical pitiful looks that was new to me.
He did had a heart. He just wasn't used to showing off to who ever walks on road across. And since his closest, for instance his parents were on a vacation in Bali. I didn't get meet them.
Two hours and lots of unshed tears, slightly shaken up Mike and a brooding me who still wondered as to why Mike wore a tie with his shirt later we sat to eat break fast.
In other circumstances I would've shoved the entire thing down in a few creative ways. But I made sure I chewed the bite thrice before swallowing as i ignored the piecing gaze of Mike on me.
Something told me that he wasn't keen about the fact that I had kept him in the dark for so long.
If he looked so intimidating, I don't even want to wander my mind to wonder about what Alex would look like once he knows.
"Michael, son" granma, who wishes that I call her Nana like Mike does, grabs his attention as my shoulder sags in relief.
"Yes Nana?"
"Why don't you show Elzina around after the breakfast. Help her know of our family history" slowly he turns to me at that offer and with a smirk of deviousness, he gulps the edible.
"Why not" he says as he raises a brow at me.
"And son."
"Yes"
"Stop with that lopsided smile, it make you look like a sneezing camel" with that she winks at me as the smile drops off his face faster than the flap of a humming bird.
Stifling a snort i jump on my seat when my mobile buzzed, vibrating with a text.
It was Alex.
And the guilt coarse began again, only for it to tame when I thought of his safety.
Whatever Ian meant. He knows what he was doing. It was good for all of us.
Polar bear: Where are you?
Me: out.
I seriously need to learn how to text. More than a word.
Polar bear: ALONE?
Me: No. with some one I know. I'll be alright, don't worry.
I tap my feet unconsciously as I waited for his reply. He took longer than he was suppose to.
Polar bear: Come back soon. I miss you.
I almost giggle, but stopped by rolling my lips inside.
Me: I love you.
I even added a heart shaped emoji even though I still cringed at the idea of a heart which doesn't even look like a heart.
Ah, what love does to your rationality.
"Shall we?" I look up as Mike tilts his head, probably asking me if he could escort me to where ever he had planned.
I nod getting up as he does so.
He wanders around for a while as I follow him with good two arm distance, but when he opens up a suspicious room at the far end and ushers me to get in, my feets try to coil back.
But my pride doesn't.
So I walk in.
And immediately regret when I spot weird reptiles in glass cases only lit around its spots. The room entirely dark.
I meet his chest when I turn to escape.
"I should've known this" I squirm as he pouts offended.
"Please don't tell me there are any spiders here" I whine as he pretends to think.
"No" I almost smile when "But there is someone who would like to meet you. She's my favorite, like a family. Just like you" he grins. And god it was the first time I saw his molars. His teeth were perfect, and the thing that wasn't perfect here was just my confidence.
And ten minutes later I did met his closest companion and now it hugged me, circling around my arm as I stood shivering with wide eyes and living a nightmare.
"A ball python, from Africa. Isn't she cute" Mike cooed petting the snakes head which now snuggled by my neck as I made inhuman squeals of fear reach out to the insensitive boy.
"I am sorry. You are a kind man and I'll never hide anything from you" I took the oath which he had asked me to, and when I just stared at him in bewilderment. He had picked the python from the case with love and care, and dumped it around my arms like it was the most common thing to do.
"And your smile doesn't look like the sneeze of a camel" he motioned me with his hand to repeat as I did so.
"Camels sneeze doesn't look like your smile" shuddering at the hissing of the reptile I made a blunder.
Cousins are vile.
In a nutshell he helped me out of the misery he put me in the first place and once the snake was Inside I grab his tie and circling it around as I wished to chock him with it.
"What's wrong with you woman?" He screamed as I kick his shin.
The audacity of him to ask me such question.
When we were sure that we could behave like decent being and not the one who almost went for each others hairs. We stood in silence.
"Why are you wearing a tie?" I ask, angry but still speaking.
"Nana wants everything and everyone to be and look good" he shrugs.
"Nana should've seen you a while back" I strike with nose poked on air in his direction.
"I act good" he wiggles his brows as I sigh.
"yep, the Victorian era slangs and my apology did the job pretty well." I said mocking his voice which barely resembled his.
"At least I don't need to learn from the scratch." He gave me a once over with puckered lips.
Scoffing I took an intimidating step forward. "Whats wrong with me?"
"I suck at fashion. But even I know that crocs, jeans and hoodie is a disaster" proud of his findings he inserts his hand in the circular box with rats as I roll my eyes, but cringe as he picked up one and petted it near his chest.
"Why is this practice so important. Why can't I just be myself" I huff, my shoulders falling in defeat. But my act of playful thinking was cut short by the spark of seriousness in Mike's eyes. As if reading my mind he spills out what he was thinking.
"It is important because you are not like us" I blink at him having no clue where this conversation was reeling off to. When I first enrolled in stuart or got bullied in summers high I was told I wasn't like them.
When I got to know what I am, and standing in the room with a person who I thought was like me say those words had me crown my hand with spikes of confusion again.
"What are you talking about?"
"Do you even realize how powerful you are? What place you hoist in social hierarchy?" he asks with disbelief. As if it felt ridiculous to make me realize something that was crystal and yet I wasn't seeing it.
I may have stepped back or ran away from divulinging deeper into what my future holds. But it wouldn't be so bad as I know that I share some traits with someone I know close by. And it wasn't all that messed up.
So I reason him.
"Alex is like me"
"No Elai- " he stops, then smiles as he pressures himself to correct it "Elzina, unlike him, you inherit something that will whirl the entire focus of media and business firms towards you. Even Forbes will be hot on their heels for your attention and nothing could stop it once they know who you are" Still lost I wait for him to continue.
"Unlike us, it's you who'll hold the reins of decisions and if I am not wrong on your birthday-" he paused breathing in, as if what he's about to say will clear up all forms of hints that he had built up till now. And then he says it.
"On your birthday you become the youngest billionaire in the world"
***