Chapter 86: Chapter 81

Elzina

Wiggling my toes under the furry comforter I reach for the remote, the air conditioner was breathing out wind from Antarctica and I clearly lacked at realizing it earlier of how solidly freezing the hotel room was digressing into.

It was dark, it was night, it was cold as grave.

Collecting in a mountain of fully blanket I basically bury myself under it.

In few seconds it began to suffocate me as gasping I sat up. The duvet lazily slides down my form pooling by my lap.

"It's been a week and yet you can't sleep the memory off" growling in darkness I look at my side, then the other side to relax the strained muscles of my neck. The tingles from the mess that I call my hair sways along with me nosily.

"You can do this" with squinted eyes trained upon the sliver of moon light that had escaped from the curtain clad windows of the luxury resort, the best in Brooklyn I contemplated the lunacy I was up to.

"Nope" sighing I decided against it as I fall back, the cushion embracing my landing with a soundful puff. This bed was so big and comfy that it felt almost like swimming in a freshly foamed shaving cream.

And the thought of it reminded me the fragrance of Alex's minty after shave. No, I hadn't been curious enough to sneakily go through his toiletries. When he uses something on him, even the aspect of it makes itself felt.

What am I thinking?

With sudden blink of widened eyes I groan.

It's all his fault. I wasn't supposed to feel so many things at such a young age. It was all too beautiful for me to stay sane.

And to think that my fiancé was probably asleep as a knocked down bull next room was so envious.

To save you the pain of reading above statement twice, I may consider giving you an insight at what went through and what the hell is actually going on.

And what went over went he asked me to marry him.

Marry.

Him.

"Marry me"

Those were the words.

Apt words from his mouth. Confident and perfectly uttered. In his voice.

It did the phenomenal job of heating my cheeks, even the microwave radiation would be ashamed of itself in front of the power those two terms held.

"Say something" he whispers the tagline our relationship always came with. Make each other freaking speechless, hurl their consciousness, and expect them to speak up as we try to crawl out from a tornado of whatever on the earth that was going on.

"I-" airily I stumble the elegantly crafted alphabet "you- i?"

His face barely moves, the eyes glued as his brows, a pinch crease as if it'll help him hear my heart out.

He was impatient.

And I was- what was i?

"Elzina?" he frowns as I blink, the name from his lips sends a shiver of ecstasy. I can't even fathom the way I had felt when he called me by my name initially. Nothing could describe it, and trying wouldn't even justify it.

To see him see me the way I am, who I am. It gave me a new life.

And to witness the purity of commitment he wants from me, overwhelmed I open my mouth to answer.

"Alex i- we-" then something intruded. I did believed that I could've ended the sentence. But it had to be this time when my diaphragm and lung conspired to produce me with a beautiful sound. The sound of hiccup.

For a silent few seconds we stared at each other, he looked amused while my face felt like a freshly boiled dumpling.

When the hiccups followed as my eyes teared up with each onset is when he realized the gracefulness of the moment. The next few minutes passed as he ran out to fetch me a glass of water. Till he came back I tried everything to stop it.

The breath holder, the cough jerker and even the neck choker. I wanted it to end until he came back.

But fate.

Of course the fate will deny my longings. It was his forte.

When he handed me the glass, crouching beside with one knee on floor as he caressed comforting circles to my back. I gulped the hydrant in a single go.

Letting out a loud airy breath i wait. We wait.

Nothing. No sound.

"It's gone?" my voice was so pathetically small as I turn to look at him. It was so weird that even Alex failed to hold back a smile.

"I think so" he say, and then his face morphs into seriousness as he adds "I hope so"

Nodding solemnly I do the mistake of looking at him. In the eye. I fall into an unplanned trance. Our eyes drowning, holding and saving what's left of us. I don't look down when I feel his hand interlace with mine. As if a promise of building back the things and days we lost and destroyed.

"It's okay if you think it's too- too early. I'll wai-"

"Alex" I stop him, i don't know why but I do. "I just don't know what to say"

Admitting honestly I watch him duck his head to meet my angle. Hesitant and hopeful.

"What do you feel?" he asks, rolling my lips in I grasp onto my state.

I look back at him.

Sincere.

"Happy" visually taken aback he waits as I firmly clear out feeling a tinge of smile "I feel happy Alex"

Slow and lazy, but bright and beautiful. It doesn't take him long to mirror the smile as mine.

As we sit there.

Knowing exactly what it meant.

That was that day, and then it was now. I still couldn't and illogically wasn't able to forget or shrug off the snippets of bliss and surprise that my heart endured. The after effect was worse than that.

Nana and Ian frowned aesthetically when Alex and I broke the news of our desired decision. But gave us a lengthy ritual of how we should think more on it before deciding, Mr. White was quick to jump on our side.

I wanted to kick him back to his place and by the looks of it Alex, Nana and even Ian seem to share the same thought. But none did anything.

Instead I smiled a creepy grin as he wished best for us. I said thank you.

But mentally I screamed a candidly rhyming term that started with F.

Nathan and Mike were the most affected. My last few days in Manhattan went something like this-

"Are you seriously going to marry him?" sandwiched between both in a couch I wave at his face in a motion asking Nathan to lower his tone as Alex was just by the kitchen making us all some literal sandwich as both my best friend and cousin bullied him to. The end credit as they'll decide to let him have some quality time alone with me.

They called themselves my guardian. No one listened when I told them that I was eighteen. Has been since two months ago.

"I always knew that something was wrong with your head" Mike adds coolly. "But this wrong?" throwing a glance at Alex who frowned at his mobile, the faint direction of recipe from the internet for sandwich swiveled the air.

My lips clamped in disappointment as i glare at him.

"He's in the kitchen. Doing something he doesn't have a clue about-" right then a loud clank of something hitting the floor resound. We flinch but ignore. It resumed every now and while from kitchen. "To fill your starving intestines" I end with a sigh as Mike nods mocking my act of support for Alex.

"He looks like he wants to poison our food by the way he's glaring at the bread loaf with a meat knife?" Mike uncomfortably shifts as he keeps peeking behind. And Nathan takes this as a cue to begin his expenditure and provide me with an input on the matter.

"Marrying that white haired snow white-"

"Watch carefully Nathan. He is brunette now. This is his real shade" I interrupt.

Nathan composes his slip as he resumes. "That brown haired short bear-"

"He is almost six feet tall" I whisper scream as Nathan again corrects himself.

"That almost six feet tall brown ex white haired-

Tuning him out I turn as i longingly stare at Alex. Wishing him to save me from this pre marital torture. But then I hear another crash.

Guess the kitchen had more disaster cooking than in here.

My hand on accord raises to the level of my face as I turn the wrap of ring sluggishly. The metallic texture cold under my skin.

I turn to the windows, getting up I walk towards it. Then think of other wise and wander around the room. Pacing with my thumb between my teeth.

I want to- no need to. I need to sleep the fatigue off. But my mind kept reeling back to the way he presented me with the band that now occupied my ring finger today morning. No it wasn't the typical wine glass trick, neither did he got on his knees for it. He had cluelessly pointed out how lonely my fingers looked, when frowning I inspected it raising it and flexing them in front of my face, totally ignorant to the fact how stupid it sounded. He smoothly took the time to slip the ring from side.

When my dazed self bit by bit took in the scenario, my head jerked to look at him. He wasn't even looking at me as he smirked with his gaze casted down to his lap.

It was in the car while we were on our way to Brooklyn, on the advise of Nana and Ian to stay away and low as media was in frenzy and would do anything in hand to tear through a rumor. Till they make it official through some conference.

At that moment I barely realized that they had asked us to pack our bags and drive over to the other side of the city. Alone with four guards.

That's not exactly alone, but by the way some different kind of tension pricked when Alex and I were alone these day's donned flecks of awkwardness.

Yes he was there in pent house every morning even before I woke up. Ignoring the glare of Nathan and Mike. He was in attendance. He was brave. He was Alex.

Yes he was there to hold me when I unveiled my lies.

Yes he was the one for me.

But I was not the kind of a girl that could've been stupid enough to see the desire in his eyes.

It's just one night. You'll be fine.

I need to sleep  i  don't wish to pass out tomorrow.

It was my last day in New york. Since i had kept up with the the finals chart schedule of Stuart that Nana had made sure i did. I was eligible to present myself for the finals.

And Orlando was my city. That's where my parents met. That's where I'll live. I belong there. New york was just the cross link i stopped at.

The thought of going back to the academy and more prominently meeting all that i had left behind made me nervous. I was nostalgic. I was mess. But more importantly i was looking forward to it.

To be my best. I need rest.

You can't trust yourself around him.

My face contorts into helpless creases as I looked at the bed. Tossing and turning had decorated the sheets into a wrinkled mess.

Without thinking a second more I grabbed a pillow, hugging it to my chest I walkout.

And before I could hold back I stood facing the mahogany door. The door to his room.

I turn around with a pulse of defeat when I hear the clinks. And then the lock being unlocked?

Failing to move the sole of my feet I stayed right where I was. My lids shrinking close as I hear his confused voice say my name.

"Elzina?" there it was again, the rapid thuds of my heart. The sudden increase in degrees. How he managed to be the reason behind the heat in my life while just few months ago he used to leave me with clammy hands and cold feet was questionable. But what wasn't mysterious when it involved us?

"You are awake?" turning I ask him, stopping mesmerized at his appearance.

His hair was mess, like mine. It stuck in every direction possible as he hastily rushed to matt it down by running a hand through them.

Mine was no better, so his reaction made me pat them with free hand as I hoist up the pillow.

"Yeah can't sleep" his blue orbs glistens as his tired utterance was a contrast. It was like his eyes solely was awake as they were on me. Then it lowers, his goes cloaked as mine widens.

He immediately clears his throat looking up. His cheeks flustered.

"Nice shirt" he comments as I almost crush the pillow under my clutch. Of course he would compliment the over sized shirt I wore. It fell till my knees, almost making it look like I wasn't wearing-

"I am wearing shorts too" I chirp, then realize the flub so with burning cheeks I gnaw at the inside of my cheek.

"That's good?" we stood there the tension again in air. His response laced with sudden turn of his confidence as he smirked raising a brow. He then tilts his head to side, with arms crossed across his chest.

It took me more time to get accustomed to his stares and much more to his words. But when I finally did, shaking my head with a comfortable smile I turn to leave.

What was I thinking when I came here? I was going to have much more sleepless nights credit to this idiocy.

Not a step taken further by me, I felt his presence closer as with the tug at the aimless long sleeve of my t shirt he whirls me, in a second the pillow was yanked away in spite of my dire hold on it as his forcible arm circles by my waist confining me against him.

"I don't recall myself feeling like you could just leave" trapping me in his presence quite literally he tuned into seriousness as his eyes raked my face with deep interest. Discarding any form of purity in it. "You are here. Why?"

My lips dabs more than once, nothing spills out. And when I force the intention out, I oh so crucially wished I shouldn't have.

"I wanted to sleep with you" after the delivery of such wrong pattern of sentence my throat goes stiff and I swear it even bought out a baffled breath stuck reaction from Alex.

"No-" shaking my head vigorously I winced "not like that- not that is bad. But i- " grunting angrily at myself I look at him. "I wasn't able to sleep okay. That's why I came here"

His demanding nature of an existence pulls me closer, flushed against him I found the way his lips twitched. The blue of his eyes hooded by the squinting. I bet It was a pigment darker, but to see him grasp out the humor in my embarrassment made me sigh in sadness as I anything but defeated butt my forehead upon his chest.

Leaving it that way. As a rumble of laugh resonated. The vibration from his hearty laugh sends a drift of something in me as I smile.

"Do forget this" I request as I look up, the crinkle at the corner of his eyes evident of the hearty mirth he enjoyed.

"I can't" I felt a surge of annoyance, but the sweet kind as he smirks. But continues "Can't even if I tried. Everything you do or say is unforgettable Elzina. And you can't blame me for it"

There was the name from his lips, the shivers in my body that erupts with it. Though I had once asked him to call me Elzi instead. But he only smiled and never called me by that moniker.

When asked he said that he wants to make me feel and hear the name I had given up on, to make me get accustomed to what's actually mine. And that it was beautiful as it is.

Wheeling the conversation back I question him.

"Why are you out? I don't remember knocking at your door" Jutting my chin out I ask. As if not prepared for it he blinks.

"I wasn't able to sleep as well, was on the way to your room" he says, but voice somewhat distant. Like the reason behind his sleepless night troubled him. Before I could ask he cuts me off-

"You should have told me earlier" his eyes searches my face as if observing the stress in them. His face acquires a concerned phrase. At occasion I had seen him with this look, subtle but present. Since the day I told him about it.

The demented part was a day later I tried to remember how he had reacted to my story that night, when I came up with nothing but the blank anxiety while I told him and his support later instead of what his proportion was, I was left completely without a middle ground as the way he treated me drastically became more severest of caring instead of curious.

It was as if he was almost fighting with the idea of asking me more about me.

His hold leaves me, a hollow coldness elopes as he puts his hand around my shoulder while the other tucks in my pillow. I begin walking as he does.

Once inside we stand by the foot of his bed. The room cloned alike as mine.

"I'll take the couch" he declares. But there was a hidden smile in his tone that had me rolling my eyes.

"You know I am going to convince you otherwise because I will feel bad if a rich spoiled brat sprains his neck for me. What a nightmare would that be?" I raise a brow as he grins softly. The way he manages a grin to look that polished and manly was cruel. I wish I could be that confident with my facial features.

"First, of course I won't take the couch. You are my fiancé. I don't even see the reason why we have been allotted two rooms. Your Nana is old school" there was no argument as I felt the blush rise as what he indirectly pointed out. And i could never get over the manner he called me his fiance. Like it a proud, treasured fact of his.

"And secondly, Future Mrs. White. That's hypocrisy right there" winking he saunters to his side as I awkwardly walk to the vacant one.

The jitters from the tag he addressed me with. Almost surreal.

"There are enough pillows here" He inspects the one I had bought before angling to throw it in the direction of sofa when-

"Don't" frantic I stop him "I sleep with more than two of them. Like mountains."

Frowning he watches me, then at the fluffy cushion.

He throws it anyway.

Before he switches off the light. I hear him mutter.

"You have me tonight to cuddle with"

And then it was dark.

❄️❄️

Comment your thoughts on this chapter for early update😉. You know i do when i say it.

P.s unedited.

Since past few months i've been receiving some repeated questions regarding me and the book. So i decided to wheel it in this chapter, answering your doubts and well, to give you an insight of how this book came into being as what it is now.

Lets begin with the most asked one. To the least.

Ha! Who am i kidding.

I'll just throw the most random one's around.

1.Have you been bullied?

A. Yes. Not as much as what Elaine goes through. But enough to understand the consequences.

2. How on the earth did you come up with these plot twists?

A. Well, here's the secret. I am a self proclaimed insomniac. I stay awake late at nights. So i have immense time to think of it. Besides it has been scientifically proven that a humans brain is more active during night than in a day.

P.s. i plot them during shower too. I am a philosophical shower taker. Wasting time like that helps.

3. When will you UPDATE next?

A. I try to be as early as possible. It's just the life☹️.

4. How do you portray the minor emotions of a character? I like how they are so diverse.

A. For starters, i was alone as a child. A lot. I had only books and movies to keep me company. I read and watched them. I felt like i had been to places and met them personally. Pride and prejudice gave me an in link to society while wuthering heights gave me the idea of a disastrous love. Science made me believe about possibility and humans showed me the infinity of emotions.

I just try to embrace them with words. Try being the key word.

5. Are you ever going to publish the girl at the last as a paper back? (Most asked)

A. Noooo. Despite of all the love i received, i personally think there is whole lot of living room, even ball room or a football  field for the development in my writing. I am an amateur. I always dreamt of writing a horror fiction. Stephen king is to blame. This book just came out of my boredom🤗.

6. This book is movie worthy. I would love to see it on big screen.

A. Lol. Thats a bit too ambitious dont you think?

7. Is there a way that will make this book to never end?

A. Awee♥️♥️.. But no.

8. Are you going to write anyother book after this?

A. Winks*  smirks*  and *takes a sip from her coffee.

9. Is your favourite colour white?

A. I seriously don't know why people keep asking me that? Lol. Just kidding. But no, its the contrast. Gre is what i like. Love . I gave such high significance to the colour white in the book because i was in love with the idea of purity. A virgin colour that is so versatile that it gets blended with others. Serves as canvas and gets over shadowed by others. No one remembers its later.

I think for me its a symbol of innocence.

10. Are you a science nerd? Because most of your inner monologues has a bit of facts in it.

A. Okay, so here we go. I am basically Elaine with no high intelligence. I like collecting facts, but i know i am not capable of coining or finding one. I am really stupid if you meet me in person.

A FORCED INTRUDER ASKS A QUESTION MUCH TO AUTHORS DISMAY.

12. Alex: when can i get married?

A. *Stares at the desperate boy for good five seconds. Thinks crucially. *Who let him in?

*Ponders if its worthy to answer this dude.

Thinks more.

(Author leaves the chat)

Alex: where the hell did she leave?  Where is my gun?

*Ice crusts coats your screen.