Adrien Walker
I forced myself to go to school this morning and sit through all my classes and tryouts. Honestly, I wouldn't even be able to tell you a single thing that happened today, I was far too spaced out.
Now I'm walking through the corridors of the hospital just about to enter his room.
Where is he? I look around the room once again only to see a stripped bed and an empty room.
Where has he gone?
Have they changed his room?
Instead of pondering on it any longer, I leave the room to find someone to ask.
The guy behind the desk checks his computer before telling me that Ethan checked out around 2pm.
"What? I thought they would be keeping him in longer," I ask slightly panicked, he didn't look all too great the last time I saw him and they said they had to monitor his head injury closely.
"He checked out AMA - against medical advice."
I thank the receptionist and leave the hospital.
Why did he check out early? He has two fractured ribs. A goddam head injury and a bruised leg! He probably can't even walk without limping. What if he gets beat up again and he ends up in a worse condition because he didn't stay at the hospital? The fucking moron.
This is why he's a damn idiot.
I decide to stop off at the park and run around the track a few times before going home, I need to clear my head and let off some steam.
What if he bumps into the wrong person and they leave him laying in a ditch somewhere?
What if he's gone home and the fucking sheriff is beating him up?
He'll be back in the hospital in no time.
Would it really have killed him to stay there another night?
As soon as I exit my car, it starts chucking it down. It's worse than yesterday.
I know I'm going to get soaked during my run so I pull on the plastic covers over the front two seats. So when I get back I can throw my hoodie onto the passenger seat without worrying about everything getting wet and smelling.
I start running and don't stop, even when my legs feel weak and my knees want to give out, even when my clothes completely stick to my body making me feel uncomfortable, or when it feels like my lungs are going to collapse. I don't know how long I run for but my entire body is aching and soaked. I head over to the swings to sit down to catch my breath. I love the feeling of the rain hitting my skin.
I close my eyes and move my head backwards so the rain is hitting my face directly, it's something I've always done since I was a kid. I can feel the rain slow down.
I open my eyes and take a look around the park. They installed a new zip wire a few years back and replaced the tire swing, but other than that it's the same park that I've been going to my whole life.
The four of us spent countless weekends here. Trevor, Luke and I used to come here nearly every day after school, especially in the summer. Charlie started joining us once he turned 10, Mrs Chidubem wouldn't let him so he'd sneak out and join us afterwards. Trevor would always give him an earful and then they'd both get in trouble once they got home - Trevor more than Charlie. But I sort of understand Mrs Chidubem's overprotectiveness now. But it would never deter Charlie from sneaking out.
I get up to walk over to the jungle gym where the four of us carved our names.
Walking over I see a figure curled up underneath the jungle gym, in between the climbing frame and slide. Quickening my pace, I rush over to see if they're okay. Maybe they're just shielding themselves from the rain. As I get closer, the more the figure looks like a small kid. Maybe they're lost.
I bend down in front of them and gently touch their shoulder, "Hey you okay?"
They jump when they feel my hand and look up. His hood falls off and I see the familiar brown hair, "What the hell are you doing out in the rain? It's cold! You're going to end up back in the hospital you idiot! You'll get pneumonia," I shout at him.
He doesn't say anything.
"Did you walk all the way here?"
He nods, looking down.
"Right come on get out from under there," I say and he ever so slowly crawls out and stands up.
It's quite obvious he's in pain.
"We can't stay out in this weather and you need rest. We'll go back to mine, okay? I'm parked just outside the green gate, do you think you can walk or do you want a piggyback?" I ask in concern, I wanna punch him and scream at him but also hug him and wrap him up in the thickest blanket I can find.
He's such a fucking idiot.
He doesn't once look up at me as he whispers, "Walk."
He struggles a bit walking, but we manage to make it to my car.
Thank goodness I pulled the plastic covers over the seats earlier. But now I'll have to just sit in my soaked hoodie.
I quickly turn the heat all the way up.
"What the fuck are you doing in the park in the rain?" I ask not being able to contain my anger.
"Got locked out," he replies really quietly, avoiding eye contact.
I force myself to take a deep breath, anger isn't going to solve anything. And right now the last thing he needs is me screaming at him.
I meant why did he leave the hospital. But if he's locked out then he must have gone home, think it's probably for the best the sheriff wasn't there.
"Why did you leave against medical advice?"
He doesn't reply, shrugging his shoulders instead.
I continue staring at him for a few minutes not knowing whether or not I should push for an answer.
Sighing I say, "Well you're coming home with me."
Thankfully it only takes us five minutes to get to mine.
Once we're inside, I go grab us both towels. I throw him a towel and go upstairs to change into some warmer clothes. I would have preferred to take a hot shower before throwing on the clothes but Ethan needs to warm up more than I do. I toss my soaked clothes in the basket in the bathroom before returning to my room. I try and dry my hair as best I can but it's still dripping water.
I grab another pair of joggers, top and hoodie for Ethan. I make sure to pick a hoodie that is extra woolly on the inside and, instead of a short-sleeved shirt like mine, I grab him a long-sleeved one.
Before I go downstairs, I force myself to close my eyes and count to ten. I know I'm annoyed at him, but I remind myself that the last thing he needs right now is my anger.
I find him standing in the middle of the living room, droplets of water dampening the carpet, "Go upstairs and have a hot shower, you're still shivering. And here put these on," I say giving him the clothes, "Put your clothes in the basket in the bathroom, I'll wash and dry them with mine." He nods before walking upstairs.
Whilst he's in the shower I decide to go microwave us some microwave meals.
I cringe at the icky feeling of my skin and the clothes sticking to them, I definitely need to take a shower later.
Sighing, I put my head in my hands. It all just feels like a bit much.
The microwave pings, so I take out our meals and grab cutlery, glasses and some juice from the fridge. After placing everything on the table, I sit down too.
I start eating, not bothering to wait for him. I'm absolutely starving, I skipped lunch today and hung out in the library instead, I just couldn't deal with Jayden. I don't even remember whether or not I had breakfast.
Just as I'm nearly done eating, I hear him come down the stairs. He appears in the doorway of the kitchen a moment later, "Sit down and eat, if it's gone cold warm it up again in the microwave," I say, "Oh and if you don't like it then grab something else from the fridge, I'm going to go have a shower," I get up and leave, not bothering to glance in his direction.
I stand in the shower letting the hot water run down me. I never showered this morning or after tryouts and then I went for a run for who knows how long. I'm basically coated in sweat, I must reek. I scrub my skin until it turns red and starts stinging.
I know I should have stayed downstairs with him to make sure he eats and drinks. The doctor did say he was dehydrated and malnourished. But I can feel myself just wanting to scream, so it's probably best for me to remove myself from the situation.
I quickly get dressed and make my way downstairs. He's still at the kitchen table, picking at the food, "You really should eat and drink plenty of water," I say pouring him a glass.
I sit the glass down in front of him, before sitting down next to him.
"Why did you discharge yourself from the hospital?"
"They wanted to call the cops."
"Why didn't you let them?"
"No point."
No point.
Guess there really is no point when your abusive father is the sheriff.
Would probably cause more harm than good.
"Right, well finish your food and make sure you drink all the water. I'm going to head to bed. There's a guest room next door to mine, you can sleep in there" I say standing up and walking towards the living room.
"Sorry," He whispers making me stop and look back.
"Why you apologising?"
"You didn't have to bring me here or make sure I'm okay, but you did. And all I'm doing is annoying you. I'm sorry."
Sighing, I rub the back of my neck.
Way to go Adrien.
"I'm not annoyed at you. I'm annoyed at everyone, but you. And I just don't want to fuck things up by saying the wrong stuff. I'm sorry for making you think or feel like I was annoyed with you. I really don't mind you being here, makes the house feel less empty and lonely." I say walking back towards him.
How do I explain that the longer I look at him the more pissed I get, I can feel myself getting angrier and angrier and it's taking a lot of effort to not scream or lash out right now. I just want to put my fist through the nearest wall. Every time I look at him I'm reminded of just how much shit he has to put up with - school and home. Never fucking gets a break. And here I am trying to help, but just end up screwing it up again and again. Nicki and Matt put him in the hospital because of me. And then I went and beat them up, who knows how they'll retaliate once they recover. He said he needed to go home, but instead spent two nights in the hospital, the sheriff is going to be pissed. Fuck, I really did screw shit up for him.
Why do things have to be the way they are?
Why does no one care?
He continues to look down.
He just looks really sad.
What do you do when someone's sad?
And I don't have a fucking clue what to say.
"Want a hug?"
He looks up at me confused.
"Whenever Luke's sad, he just needs a two-minute hug. And I don't know how else to comfort a person."
He continues to stare at me as if I've grown another head.
"Ethan?" I prompt after a few moments of silence.
He slowly stands up, and I step forward.
I wrap my arms around him as gently as possible, as he lays his head on my chest.
After about 30 seconds he relaxes a bit and leans against me more.
"Is that why you're always hugging me?"
"Huh? I don't hug you that often."
"This is our second hug this week."
"You know Luke once read this article about how a person needs 4 hugs a day for survival, 8 hugs a day for maintenance and 12 hugs a day for growth. Ever since then he has been hell-bent on hugging just about anyone and everyone." I say with a laugh.
"You miss him."
I sigh, holding Ethan a bit tighter, "I really do, I didn't think I would miss his annoying ass as much as I do. Don't get me wrong I miss Trevor too, but Luke's always been like a brother to me. His mother has always been like the mother I never had and my dad was always a dad to Luke too. We grew up as brothers. We might not have been in one house constantly, but it's just how our parents brought us up. Trevor's my best friend, he's the first person I want to talk to whenever something happens. He has always been there for every single up and down in my life. I can't think of a single big or small moment in my life where both Trevor and Luke weren't there for me," I sigh, "But I fucked up and I don't know how to fix it."
I don't know why I'm off loading onto Ethan. Maybe because he's the first person I've been okay spending time with since summer. Or maybe because he seems to be the only one willing to hold a conversation with me.
"They seemed okay with you the other day during warm-ups. Maybe you just need to talk to them? Be the one to reach out."
"Hmm maybe," I reply resting my chin on his curls.
I know I need to reach out to them first, they must have had enough of always being the ones approaching me. And I'm the one who fucked up by not being there so I should make a start by talking to them.
But what if it's too late? What if I've hurt them too much?
"You think I should just call them?"
"Yes, then at least you know you tried even if it doesn't go well."
I repeat the words over in my head. I am repeatedly beating myself up for not trying and not reaching out. Maybe it's time I stopped and just called.
"Okay, I'm going to go give Luke a call. You can watch TV in the living room, or head up to bed. It's the bedroom closest to the bathroom. It's the room Trevor and Luke take when they sleep over so it's got some of their stuff in there," I say as I pull away.
"Okay, I'll clean up first."
"Nah, don't bother I'll do it later. Go relax and rest."
I ruffle his curls a little before walking away.
"Thank you, for the hug." He says just as I reach the door.
I smile and turn, "You ain't ever got to thank me for a hug. Hell, you don't even have to ask for one. Everyone needs a minimum of 12 hugs a day."
He nods and I catch a glimpse of a little smile.
--
Thoughts?
Ethan definitely isn't counting the amount of times Adrien hugs him...
Proud of Adrien for not lashing out.