Chapter 59: chapter 59

GOWRIShiva is in trouble. He seemed troubled yesterday morning when we had coffee and today morning he didn't show up for coffee. In fact, his car was missing in the morning. For the past two days, he came home late. I was not sure what is happening but today Dharshana called me asking how Shiva was coping with his company and that is when I know the reason for his troubled looks.I stare at the clock. It is nine at night. Why is he not home still? I stare at the door as if my staring would magically make him appear out of thin air. I keep staring at the things in the room and awaiting the familiar car sound. When my eyes spot the dent on the TV screen, I sigh. I have tried his phone but guess what? It is switched off. I pace the room to burn the nervous energy that is building up in me. I seriously have no idea about business but from what Dharshana told I think the problem that Shiva's company is facing is quite big. My pulse quickens as I hear the familiar sound of a car pulling in. I run to the front door and open it.Shiva is surprised to see me open the door but he gives me a small smile. He is the same but with a five-o clock shadow. He is wearing his work outfit. A button-down shirt and pants.“So, you are alive,” I exclaim. His smile grows bigger.“Good evening to you too,” he tells entering the house.He throws his office bag on the single-seater and plops down on the sofa. I frown at him as I notice his eyes look overworked. He looks tired as well.“You had a busy week?” I ask sitting on the other side of the sofa putting a large distance between us. No, I am not going to ask him straight away about the problem in his company. If he wants to then he will tell me.“It was a hell of a week,” he tells raking a hand through his head. His hair becomes messed up and I suddenly realize how much this man has to undergo as the president of a big company. I notice his eyes are red indicating a lack of sleep. He looks like he has lost some weight.“Go-,” his voice falters and his eyelids close as he collapses suddenly on the sofa. OH MY GOD!I close the distance between us and call his name, “Shiva. Shiva.”No Response. My mind goes into panic mode and my imagination goes wild. What if someone had given him a poisoned drink? Or worse, what if he had taken pills for suicide?WHAT THE HELL? Stop your imagination. His head hangs low and his eyes are still closed. Watching a lot of crime and thriller movies has taught me to check his pulse. I gingerly take his hand in mine. I place my thumb finger in the correct place. But no, I couldn't feel it.DAMN IT! He Doesn't Have A Pulse! Oh No! This Is Not Happening. He Can't Leave Me.Idiot! Stop! Check properly. It is you who don't know how to check a pulse. I let go of his hand and raise his head. I hesitate for a second before undoing his collar button. Then I slowly place my index finger and middle finger on the side of his neck to check for his pulse again.ANDPeople If I Have Become A Doctor Then, I Would Have Been A Bad One.BECAUSE Thank The Holy Gods In Heavens!He Has A FREAKING Pulse. He is alive. He is breathing but why isn't he opening his eyes? Or answering my questions?Stupid! He just passed out from exhaustion.  Do what a normal person would do instead of doing things as in a crime movie.I take a calming breath. I run to the kitchen and grab a glass of water along with a packet of biscuits.I sprinkle the water on his face. He doesn't open his eyes. No More Mercy On Him.Without another thought, I pour the water on his face and imagining the bully of my school, I slap him hard on his face.HOLY HEAVENS.Finally!His eyelids flutter open. He closes them and opens them again. It takes him a few seconds to understand where he is. His eyes focus on me and a frown forms on his face as looks at his wet shirt“Did I faint?” he asks.“Yes. What did you have for lunch?” He blinks at me with a sheepish look. “You didn’t have your lunch?” He nods.“When was the last time you had a proper meal?” I ask handing him over the biscuit packet. He tears it open and eats a biscuit and I see the hunger in his eyes.“Yesterday morning,” he tells with a mouthful of biscuit.FREAKING HELL! “How many hours did you sleep yesterday?” I ask grinding my teeth.“Three hours.”“DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH?” I snap. “You told me you will never sacrifice sleep and food? What are you doing now?”He sighs. It sounds tired. “Desperate times need desperate measures, Gowri.”I narrow my eyes at him, “Shiva, what is happening in the company?”He looks away and focuses his vision everywhere except for my eyes. “Shiva,” I say in a concerned tone.Finally, with a defeated sigh he looks at me. His eyes are glazed. Instincts take over me. I avoid the mental warning and sit close to him. Our knees brush and I take his hand in mine. I lace our fingers together. I squeeze it. I stay silent because I just want to let him know that I am here for him when things get hard. He states at our clasped hands for a few seconds before letting out a ragged breath and then says in a shaky voice, “I am failing, Love. Everything is going to be over. The company is soon going to be broke. I have pulled all strings but I am afraid that I am failing. I am afraid that I couldn't save the company. Maybe people were right, it was only due to luck that the company reached this position. The weight of responsibility is too much on my shoulders. I don't think I deserve to be the president of the company. I don't even know what to do.”Tears roll down his face and my heart breaks to see him like this. I pull him closer and he puts his head on my shoulder. “Hey, listen,” I say in a soothing tone. “I don't believe in luck. So, it was your hard work and leadership that brought the company to this position. It is totally okay to fail at times. Because those failures teach us something new. This hurdle will also pass. I understand how much you have to go through as the head of a company and I am telling you that only a few people can become a leader. You are a good leader.  Remember, ‘God always opens a window when he closes a door.’ You will find a way.”He looks up at me through teary eyes and asks, “But what if I can't find a way? What if I failed to save the company? Will it be okay then? Will you still say to me that I am a good leader?”I smile at him and tell him in a gentle tone, “It will be totally okay, Shiva. I mean it. Fate is cruel. We never know when it will mess with us. But sometimes, it plays with us ruthlessly when we are the least prepared. “What I am trying to say is this. We never know what will happen tomorrow. Your company may be saved or not. We don't know about it yet. All we know now is that we must figure out a way to save the company. Just give your best and keep trying. “The progress is only in your hands. The result is not. So, stop worrying about the probability of whether the company will be saved or not and focus on what you have to do to save it. “Even, after giving your best, if the company cannot be saved then accept it with an open heart. Yes, it will be painful but there are things worse than this. In the end, everything will turn out well. Stop listening to others and just do something. Even if it is a small thing. Leave the rest to fate.”He holds my eyes for a few seconds. His tears have subsided. Then his face breaks into a smile and he says in a soft voice, “I keep forgetting that you are a counsellor.”His thumb draws small circles on the back of my hand as he says after a minute, “Thank you.”“For what?”“For not telling me that I am a male and I should not cry. For letting me weep and not judging me for it.”No matter how hard I try, I can never judge you, Shiva, because in one way or another I understand you very well. I think but don't say it out aloud.I give him a grin, “Okay, Mr. CEO. Time to feed you.”🍀🍀🍀🍀