Chapter 60: chapter 60

GOWRIWhen I exit the kitchen after half an hour, Shiva has changed into his home clothes and is busy staring at his laptop. He looks stressed and I hope he figures out a way. “Dinner ready,” I call to him as I put the plates on the dining table. The aloofness we both were maintaining seemed to vanish after Shiva's breakdown.“Love, you don’t have to do this,” he tells sitting down.“It is nothing,” I tell him as I serve the idlis. He sighs but eats. He eats the first two idlis without any complaints but when he moves to the third idli he looks at me with a warm expression. “Thank you,” he says with a grateful smile.“You are welcome,” I tell. 🍀🍀🍀🍀I fill the coffee in my thermos flask. I am sure Shiva is going to pull an all-nighter today. I place the Thermos flask on the coffee table and that gets his attention and he looks up from his laptop. “Coffee. Drink whenever you feel like it. The Thermos will make sure the coffee will stay hot for seven hours. So, if you plan on working for the whole night and need some refreshment to keep you awake.”He stares at me with an amused expression. He places his laptop on the sofa and gets up. Without any warning, he pulls me into a hug and my heart races faster. Oh no! My body has still not forgotten how to react to his closeness. I hold my breath as he leans closer.He slowly cups my jaw and turns my face to the side. His knuckles graze my cheek gently and he places a soft kiss on it and whispers softly into my ear, “Thank You.”So Much For Maintaining Distance!I slowly relax into his embrace and whisper back, “Don’t stress yourself too much. Try to get some sleep. Everything will be alright.”🍀🍀🍀🍀SHIVAI was on the verge of giving up and running away somewhere. I was afraid of what will happen to the company. Uncertainty certainly sucks. I know what I am going to say may sound cheesy and romantic. But we already established when it comes to Gowri, I am a cheesy romantic. So, yes, when I came home I was demotivated. I felt like I was in a dark tunnel with no light ahead. My thoughts were a mess and I felt like dying is better than living this life. I was trying hard not to let anyone see how vulnerable I am. But when Gowri asked me what was happening in my company, I know I was seconds away from letting her see my vulnerable and broken soul. I didn't want to but her voice. It was filled with concern and the way she told my name ‘Shiva’. Half pleading and half concerned. I lost it all and before I know I am confessing my fears to her and crying. If it had been someone else in her place, I am sure I would have felt embarrassed for crying like that. But with her, the wave of embarrassment never came and she was calm and listened to me patiently. I, seriously, felt like a little kid confessing his fears. She didn't judge me. No, her expression was never judgmental. It was warm and concerned. Only she has the power of getting me to confess all my insecurities and flaws. Gowri’s words have brought a change to my mindset. I am going to give my best and not worry about the rest. 🍀🍀🍀🍀My eyes are dropping low. I try opening them wider but it is no use. I grab the Thermos flask and pour the last bit of coffee into my cup. I type the email addresses uncle Bala gave me into the address bar. Doubts threaten to consume me as I type each letter but I refuse to let my fears hold me back. Whatever it is I am going to give it a try.As I drain the coffee into my body, I feel the hit of awareness. I click send on the final mail. My laptop shows it is three in the morning. I can get a few hours of sleep. I sigh and move to my room. I glance at Gowri’s room door before slipping into mine.  I have been doing that the whole night. I am grateful for her dinner and coffee and most importantly the words of wisdom. If this woman keeps doing things like this then my crush on her would lead to something bigger and then I have to face heartbreak when she leaves me.But I don’t think I can recover from this heartbreak.🍀🍀🍀🍀My mouth waters as the aroma of coffee hits me when I open the room door. I would never get enough of Gowri’s coffee. “Good morning,” I wish Gowri as I enter the kitchen. “Morning!” she wishes giving me a cup of coffee. I get it without any protest because yeah, this has become our new normal.“How many hours did you sleep?” she asks folding her hands and looking at my eyes. “Let me see,” I tell counting on my fingers, “Three, four, five, six and seven. That makes five hours.”“Is that enough for you?” she asks.“Of course,” I tell but a big yawn breaks out of me and Gowri raises her eyebrow.“Okay, I admit it wasn’t sufficient but I had to complete the work. I promise that I go to sleep early today,” I say.She shakes her and asks, “When will it be finished? Whatever is happening in your company?”“I am not sure.”“Ok, then. Until it gets over, I will cook food for you.”“No, you don’t have to do that. I will manage.”“How? By starving yourself to exhaustion and death?” she asks in a sharp tone. She is glaring at me and her nostrils flare. I am sure I have lost my senses because I find her cute when she is angry with me.“I will-” I start but she cuts me off.“For God’s sake, Shiva stop being stubborn,” she tells in a hard tone. “I am not stubborn,” I tell in a low tone staring at the window that is locked. I move towards it to open it. “Yes, you are not stubborn,” she snaps. Oh no! She is pissed off with me. “I am the stubborn one. So, I will cook for you until you sort out the problem in your company.”“Love, it-”I don’t get to finish the sentence as she crosses the gap between us and clamps my mouth shut with her palm. I am suddenly aware of the little gap between us and the memory of kissing her flashes through my mind. I visibly gulp down as she leans in closer.My heart rate picks. Her breath tickles my ear as she whispers in a low tone, “I am your wife,” my breath hitch, “Get used to me cooking for you,”  my stomach does a flip, “Until our first anniversary.”When she pulls away, I let go of a breath that I was unaware I am holding. ‘I am your wife.’‘Get used to me cooking for you.’I should probably tell her that we decided to be friends and though we are married I don't consider her as my wife but I couldn't bring myself to form any words. Because my mind is busy thinking about that one kiss we had and imagining how it would be to have her lips against mine again.Oh no!Here we go again. Fantasying about something that will never happen. I shake my head to clear those thoughts.“Okay,” I say with a smile. I am fine with her being my wife. That thought makes my heart flutter.🍀🍀🍀🍀