Ch.40
Namjoon's P.O.V.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Hoseok and I played video games for the longest time. When it was finally getting late, the red head decided to call it a night. He said goodbye to my Mom before leaving the house. I was happy to have him over since it's been a long time. Mom always asks me how Hoseok or the rest of the gang are. Especially (F/n) ever since they met. For some reason, Mom really thinks I should date her. It was embarrassing to think about. She's just a friend! Then the gang never really comes over to just hang out though. Everything usually ends up being becoming about the gang or the deals. I can't let Mom know that I've gotten myself involved in that. So far, I've kept this secret since I was a first year. She doesn't know about any of it. There's hasn't even been a time where she was close to finding out. Mom has been surpsingly clueless about it. She doesn't mind the fact that I dye my hair too much and thinks I just do it because my friends do it.
Technically the gang does it to separate ourselves from society. School wants us to all look the same. Our uniforms have to be perfectly put on and our thoughts should be controlled. That's at least what I've grown to see it as. I still make attempts to be a good student, but what's the point? SuChin isn't a great school. Colleges won't be going crazy over me. I'm not the greatest student at school anymore. It's been a long time since I've shed that reputation. Turning off the console, I laid down on the floor to look up at the ceiling. The gang was everything to me, so I didn't worry too much about college or anything like that. Mom never asked me about school anymore. She probably wanted me to go to college, but I don't think I'll go. It just sounds like a waste of time and money to me.
Rubbing my temples, I tried to get comfortable on the floor. It wasn't too night, but I felt like taking a nap. The problem was that I kept thinking about what Hoseok said. He better not leave. Well, I don't want to control the actions of my friends or members. They should be able to decide for themselves. I just didn't like the idea of the gang ending so soon. We've only been a gang for about two years. I didn't want to act like I was some kind of God, but the gang has saved the lives of some of the members. They found a place to call home amongst the members. When I first met Yoongi, he really needed us. He had heavy things going on in his life. Hoseok was fine but joined as a good friend. Seokjin found himself in the gang. They all have their own reasons for joining the gang and staying.
Closing my eyes, my mind wandered off into the past. All the bad memories came flooding in first. The ones about the man called my father. When I used to have a real future. The truth is, I could've been an amazing student with a bright future. But it was taken away by my father. He used to have a decent paying job where he'd wear a suit and talk to clients. I just remember watching him tighten his tie in the morning, wave goodbye at me while I watched cartoons, and he'd go off to work. Those were the black and white memories I've tried to forget. We used to be a cute, little happy family. Father always praised me for my hard work when I was younger. Then Mom was just a house wife who took care of me with a smile and did the hard chores.
All that came crashing down when father grew an interest in gambling. That d*mn f*cker wouldn't come home for what felt like days. He'd be out at casinos and clubbing. He never really got drunk at that point. No, he started getting in debt first. The money he earned from work didn't go to our family anymore. Instead it went to the habit that one of his clients had introduced him to. Father went crazy over gambling and let it destroy our family. Mom and him fought nonstop whenever they got the chance to. It was always hard to listen to. Then he got fired from his work. Did that stop him? Did that give him a slap into reality? Not in the slightest. He tried using anything he could. Pawning Mom's jewlery and leaving us in a bigger hole.
One day Dad didn't come home. He didn't say anything. He didn't leave me a letter, a hug, and not even a word. The only thing he left my Mom and I with was a mountain of debt. No banks wanted to work with Mom. We were terrified for our future. Mom tried to act like everything was fine. She put herself to work to help pay off the debt. This was during the end of middle school for me. I was finally becoming a high school student with all these issues dragging me down. It worried me to see her doing multiple jobs with barely any rest. We had to get enough money by the end of the month to pay everything back little by little. Mom made us move to a new town that was more dangerous, but cheaper to live in. We're doing much better with the debt because of me. Mom thinks I'm doing well paying odd jobs because that's what I told her. I tried doing legal jobs in the beginning. I wanted to help her out and not be useless to her. The thing is, most people can't deal with how clumsy I can be. That became a problem.
*~*
This is my third job this week. WEEK. I've had so many in one month that I must have broken a record. It's not like I'm lazy or don't know how to take directions. That's not the case at all. Maybe it's my eagerness that ruins me? Either way, Mom can't know that I'm being fired from this job right now. She still thinks I work at the butcher shop near the middle school, but I've was fired from that job two weeks ago. I stood outside of the supermarket as my boss gave me a harangue about how my work performance was ridiculous. My apologies didn't matter to her. She was still upset that I dropped that box of cans in an aisle. Then I also fell against a shelf, knocking a lot of items down. She was so furious that she didn't even let me fix my mistakes. Getting these jobs were supposed to be my way of making my Mom less stressed. In the end, I'm giving everyone heart attacks by how clumsy I am.
My boss wanted to scold me outside of the store so that I would feel shame. Trust me, it was working though she didn't have to take me out to do so. She complained about how I broke the cash register in less than a minute. To be honest, I don't even know how that happened. All these things made me so sad. Should I be upset? I've gotten used to breaking things, but I don't want to destroy all my Mom's effort to protect me. Just taking these jobs, I've gotten some extra debt for breaking certain things. I didn't want to be like my father. I kept my head down as my boss sighed. She finished reprimanding me and told me to just keep the uniform. 'Get lost', she says. Maybe I'm nothing but a nuisance for Mom? To this whole town? Everyone would be better off without me. What am I good for when I can't even a hold a box without the cans escaping from me?
I walked over to the park with my head down. Today has been another awful day. It's all because of him. He ruined my future. I used to be considered number one in the f*cking country! Hard to be that when you don't have time to study. Everday I have to figure out a way to earn money. Something to help Mom who is already doing so much with a smile. She shouldn't have to act for me. She's hurt that her husband left everything they've built together. He let me down in so many ways too. Sitting down on a bench, I sat there for hours. My mind was everywhere. What job should I take next? Have I been blacklisted already? I need a new job.
"Hey, have you seen Gloss anywhere?" A guy spoke, breaking me out of my thoughts. When I was brought back to the real world, I noticed the sun was already down. The park was empty and it was freezing. The guy talking had a bunch of piercings on his ears. His hair was bleached and extremely short.
"Gloss? No..." I furrowed my brows at him. The guy's fingers were shaking a lot. Was he okay?
"Sh*t. He told me he would do the job!" He scratched his head, panicking. Maybe I should go home now. Sometimes I forget this place can be really shady. The guy then began to stare at me with wild eyes. "Are you a cop?"
"What? No." I shook my head. This guy was definitely on something.
"Oh...did Gloss send you to do the job?" Piercings narrowed his eyes down on me. Who the hell is Gloss? "I f*cking knew it!"
"Uh..." I looked around for help. The park was completely empty. It'd be pretty hard to ditch this guy. Who knows how dangerous he actually is?
"Whatever. I'll still give you the money if you do the job. Forget Gloss," The guy said, catching my attention. Money? I need that. This sounded incredibly sketchy though. That terrified me, but what choice did I have? Legal jobs weren't cutting it anymore and I was getting desperate. Let me just do this one thing just once. Just so I can actually get paid for something today.
"What's the job?" I raised a brow, lying through my teeth. He wouldn't know the difference. "Gloss didn't really give me too much details."
"Typical." He rolled his eyes before shoving something in my pocket. "It's not much, but it still goes for a high price. Don't take anything less than 350,000 won and I'll give you the money when you come back. Meet them by the bridge since I'm just the supplier."
"This is a drug deal?" I stood up, feeling my heart pound. What have I done? Did I seriously just get myself into something illegal for money? I'm regretting everything already. Am I that much of a wimp? I just didn't want to get caught.
"Quiet!" He shouted. "What even if your name?" He eyed me. Whoever this 'Gloss' guy is, he was obviously using a fake name. That means I have to make one up too.
"Runch Randa." I straightened my posture, growing confidence with the name. The guy stopped being suspicious as I did my best to be intimidating. It's a good thing I had a tall height compared to this guy. Then again, he was also slouching over.
He patted my shoulder and shoved me in the direction of the bridge. I still wasn't good with directions in this town, but I knew where the brigde was. I had a job where I had to walk over the bridge to get to it. Piercings stayed on the bench, keeping it warm for me as I went to where he told me to go. Looks like I have become Runch Randa, the one-time drug dealer. Thanks to Gloss whoever he may be. His loss for ignoring this job. When I made it over to the bridge, there was a guy smoking a cigarette who instantly put it out the moment I showed up.
He walked over to me instead of waiting. For a moment, I thought I was going to die. This was a horrible idea. But next thing I know, the guy asked me if I was Gloss. He didn't randomly pull out a gun or look too dangerous. I shook my head and told him Gloss sent me. The change of dealers wasn't too important to him. He only cared if I had heroin. Heroin!? Is that what Piercings shoved in my pocket? Holy sh*t, I'm a drug dealer now. Before I gave him the stuff though, I asked him to give me money. All the things coming out of my mouth were from lines in movies that I had seen. I had no idea how real deals actually worked! The guy grumbled, pulling out about 200,000 won. That's not what Piercing wanted.
"Are you trying to cheat me?" I scoffed.
"I know it's a little short from what I told Gloss, but it's fine. I'll pay him back later!" The guy insisted.
"350,000 won or get f*cking lost." I growled to see him grit his teeth. Did I accidentally go too far? The guy shoved his hand into his pocket to bring out more money. There's the money Piercing wanted! He handed it over as I tossed the packet of white powder to the guy. That much for this much money? Crazy. And so that's how heroin looks like? You learn something new everyday.
I left the scene right after that. I made sure to look over my shoulder a lot as I made my way back to the park. Good thing it was night already. It was easy to be secretive. As I came near the park, I could feel my heart pounding in my head. That was amazing. I never felt that kind of feeling in my life. Did I actually just sell heroin? That wasn't something to be proud of, but why did I feel so hyper? It felt like I could take on the world. This was a more dangerous feeling than the actual deal itself. This could get me to do worse things, so I tried to keep myself under control. Piercings was still on the bench and got up when he saw me coming over. He took a look around as I slid the money into his hand.
"Good job, Runch Randa. You're more useful than Gloss." He smirked. "You don't talk back. Why don't we do another deal together?"
"Another one?" I frowned before he handed over a lot of won into my hand. "Whoa..."
"There's your cut for doing the deal." Piercings crossed his arms. "I got a lot of supply and need someone to sell what I got. You up for the job?"
"I can do it." I stared at the money. "When do you need me?" I lifted my head to see his smirk grow wider. Did I sell my soul to the devil?
Piercings later revealed to me that his fake name was Silver, but I liked Piercings better. It did match him after all. When I came back home, I handed the money over to Mom. She was shocked at the amount and I had to make a few white lies. The look of happiness on her face made me have butterflies in my stomach. It's like I actually accomplished something in my life. Grades didn't matter. This did. Mom cried a lot that night and I knew this was the path I was taking to make her happy. Piercings and I did more deals. He would hand me over a drug and I would sell it to some desperate druggie. Eventually, I became confident during the deals. I was the one who held the power. I had what they wanted.
That thought process got into my head during the summer. School then started, but I didn't care too much about my grades anymore. SuChin was a joke. No one addressed the teachers with honorifics and no one spoke formally to each other. This place was practically infested with deliquents. How was I any different? Maybe I've become a part of this town. As a first year, I figured I would mainly focus on the deals I did with Piercing. They made Mom proud of me for being generous. Of course, she didn't know I obtained the money illegally, but I could never tell her that and I never will. This was my plan. As I thought that, the kid next to me was being annoying. He couldn't stop fidgeting around in his seat. That annoying click of his pen was getting on my nerves.
"Can you knock that sh*t off?" I huffed. He froze, his eyes wide in shock as he frowned.
"S-Sorry..." He looked down. His name was Jung Hoseok, I think. It didn't matter to me. He ws so frustrating.
Sometimes Mr. Pyo would be teaching a lesson and Hoseok would ask an unrelated question. Turns out that during one thirty-minute lecture from our teacher, all Hoseok got was essentially, 'was your nose always that big?'. He didn't do it to be funny. Hoseok would be talking to another student and get easily distracted. I had to talk to him during partner work once and he asked me to repeat all my words. He let himself get distracted by my dimples. He couldn't remember me having them before so that bugged him for a long time. That's all he thought about as I discussed the material. How does he get distracted so easily!? It made it hard to put up with him. A bunch of classmates laughed at him, but he just smiled at everyone. Was he stupid?
"Work problems five to twenty with the person sitting next to you." Mr. Pyo fell into his seat. Are you kidding me?
"It's okay. I can do it on my own..." Hoseok grinned and turned back to his notebook. I watched him struggle with the first problem. He somewhat understood the new material but messed up anyway. He wasn't supposed to carry the four. Why was he doing the second problem when he messed up the first one? Okay, the second one doesn't even make sense. You're supposed to distribute. I let out a heavy sigh and brought my notebook closer to him. Hoseok turned to me with a confused expression.
"You're doing the problems wrong. Here, watch me and I'll explain them to you." I pointed to my paper with my mechanical pencil. "But you have to focus."
"Okay." Hoseok nodded as I reviewed the new lesson with him. He did his best to pay attention. There was only one time when he looked away, but I made sure he ignored whatever the sound was.
Eventually Hoseok understood and didn't mess up. He did ask me a bunch of questions though when he was stuck on a problem. By the time class was coming to an end, we were both finished with all the problems Mr. Pyo had assigned us. Now we had a couple minutes to waste. Hoseok's smile was bigger than I had ever seen it before. He was in a good mood now. Shaking my head with a weak smile, I went to grab my bag to get out of here. When I went to reach for my bag, I accidentally knocked my textbook off the desk. It roughly fell on my bag which caused the strap to break. Right away, all the contents in my bag began to spill out. The classroom had been dead silent prior to my bag ripping. Now my face was on fire as everyone stared in my direction. How lucky am I?
"How the hell did you break your bag?" A student snickered.
"Clutz," Someone mumbled. Tightening my fists, I avoided looking at anyone as I went down to get my stuff. All of a sudden, I heard the loud screech of someone getting out of their chair. Hoseok had abruptly stood up to make everyone look at him now.
"Mr. Pyo! The color of my underwear is pink!" Hoseok shouted as I stifled back laughter. I quickly put my stuff back in my bag as all my classmates judged Hoseok harshly. "I just thought you should know."
"...Why?" Mr. Pyo sighed. "Please don't say inappropriate things like that again at school."
"But it's important." Hoseok frowned as I got back into my seat. No one even noticed me pick up all my things. I held my bag close to my chest as more kids laughed.
"No." Mr. Pyo shook his head sternly.
At that moment, class was let out. Girls giggled at Hoseok, making fun of him to their friends. The guys rolled their eyes at him and just considered him stupid. Meanwhile they did that, I stayed in my chair and admired Hoseok. Most people at this school had one brain cell but I had enough to know he did that for me. He distracted everyone, so they wouldn't laugh at me. Hoseok got his things and left the class without a word. Where was he going? I hurried out, looking for him in the halls.
"Are you looking for me?" Hoseok's voice came from behind me. I was startled, but at the same time quite relieved to find him.
"You...you embarrassed yourself for me. Why?" I asked.
"What do you mean? I thought I was just being funny." Hoseok grinned, laughing at what had happened. Soon I let out a light chuckle. "I'm new to this town so I figured I might as well be like a class clown."
"You're new? I'm new in this town too!" I grinned, realizing that I was making a connection with someone. The only other person I had in this town was mom and I guess Piercing, but he didn't really count. I never took the idea of making friends here seriously. Hoseok was growing on me though. He seemed like a lot of fun.
"Really!?" Hoseok jumped. We began walking down the hall together to our next class. "Ah, I finally found someone. So far no one tries to talk to me..."
"Well they're idiots." I scoffed. "And to be honest, I was too."
"Don't worry about it. I know my fidgeting habits can be annoying." Hoseok flashed me a friendly smile. He was like sunshine after a year of rain.
"No, they're fine."
And that's how I met Hoseok. We instantly became the best of friends after that. The both of us were loners at school. Eating lunch alone and having a hard time befriending anyone who wasn't too problematic. We were already like two peas in a pod which was really neat. This town felt like a curse to me, but maybe it isn't so bad. Hoseok and I talk nonstop whenever we get the chance. I try to focus in class and then he'll be making weird faces at the corner of my eyes. It's hard to keep a straight face then. Mr. Pyo will be talking about cosine and I'll just burst out laughing. I can't help it. Hoseok is really funny and gets my humor. Finally, I can get a break from the debt the usually drowns my thoughts.
Speaking of the debt, I had another deal today to help with that problem. Just one day, Mom and I won't have over five hundred million won dragging us down. Until then, I'll work hard with Piercing. He gave me the drug of the day which was cocaine! I've been doing deals almost every day to end the debt faster. The more money I earn, the better. Whenever I left school, my thoughts were all about money. Caculating how much I'm earning today and how much of the debt is left. Today's deal was taking place at under this bridge near a trailer location. I slid down to the waiting spot and took a look around at the riverbed. It looked like the perfect place for drag racing. That's when I heard a few footsteps and turned my head to see about three intimidating guys.
"You Runch Randa?" The tallest one asked.
"That's me." I crossed my arms.
"Hand it over." He held his hand out.
"Dumb@ss. Give me the money first." I glared at him. Their leader only scoffed to give his two guys a look. What's going on? For once, I didn't feel in control of the situation. It's hard to feel tough when he's got a team backing him up. All I had was me. Soon his two guys quickly got a hold of me. "HEY! Let me go!" I struggled. They held onto my arms tightly as the leader rammed his fist into my stomach.
"Silver screwed me over once. I'm not gonna let his little messenager talk back to me." He looked me in the eyes as I began to tremble. "Heh, you're just a kid trying to act like a man."
"...d-do you not want cocaine?" I questioned as he started to laugh loudly.
"Of course! We're just not paying for it." He smirked. "Now where do you have it hidden? Do I have to beat it out of ya?"
Another grunt escaped me as he took another punch at my gut at the word 'beat'. I hung my head down as saliva fell down my chin. Did Piercing know this guy was angry at him? Did he screw me over? This wasn't fun anymore. All three of them laughed at me for giving up so quickly. The toughness was just an act but I was so mad at myself for not being stronger. This was the path in life that I decided to take and now I'm backing out when things get tough? In the end, I just feel like an exact copy of my father. I don't want to be him though. I want to be different. Someone Mom can be proud of to call her son. Not this pathetic piece of sh*t that is letting himself get hit by a thug.
"Let the kid go, Sh*theads," A voice spoke. They were calm, but tired and annoyed. The two holding me tightened their hold while the leader stepped to the side. Lifting my head slightly, I mainly saw a dark figure. He walked over with his hands in his pockets. The first thing I noticed was his white dyed hair. His eyes looked dead as he stared at my face.
"Gloss...finally came out of that trailer after your old man practically left you for dead?" The leader chuckled. My heart began to pound. This guy saving me is Gloss? I never thought I would meet this Gloss who was always so talked about amongst the drug dealers. They talked about him like he wasn't human. Instead, a heartless creature.
"Skull, make your men drop him," Gloss ordered.
"What? Is he the same age as your brother?" Skull grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at Gloss. A flash of hatred went through Gloss's eyes. His brother? Nothing was making sense. I just wanted to be free. I was just trying to do something nice for my Mom. But were these all excuses?
"Do you want to die?" Gloss snarled.
"I'd rather not make this town have two funerals." Skull grinned as Gloss pulled out a knife. I looked at Skull who stopped talking. Now him and his men were less interested in fighting. "Release him."
Dropping onto my knees, I clutched my stomach. Hopefully they didn't break any of my ribs. All of Skull's hits knocked the air out of me. Skull and his men left without a care. When they were gone, I let myself cry silently at the pain. At everything going on in my life. How can Mom act so tough with what's going on? I can't handle it anymore. I want the debt gone already. Footsteps came closer as my sobs were becoming more apparent. I saw Gloss's feet, making me stop my gross crying. He was crouching down as he looked down on me. I had a better look at him now. He was pale and very thin with a lot of bruises on his body. A giant cut was on his cheek too. Probably from his old man from what Skull said. Looks like he has problems with his father too.
"Are you gonna get up or keep crying?" Gloss sighed.
"I-I took your job...with Silver." I slowly pushed myself up, wiping my face.
"I heard. You're Runch Randa." Gloss brought me up to my feet. "I didn't work with Silver because he tends to screw over a lot of people. Just look at yourself. Perfect example." He dusted off my shoulders with a smirk then began to walk away. Gloss was a lot nicer than people made him out to be.
"...what do I do now?" I frowned, making him stop in his tracks. "I need money."
"Don't work with Silver and don't work alone." Gloss looked at me over his shoulder. "...God, how young are you?"
"I'm a first year in high school at SuChin. I worked with Silver during the summer though," I stated to see his eyes grow sadder.
"They keep getting younger..." He mumbled before looking up to me. "SuChin, huh? Don't go spreading information like that." Gloss turned away again.
"My name is Kim Namjoon!" I shouted as he groaned in annoyance.
"What'd I just say?" He glared at me. "What? Do you expect me to tell you my name?"
"I want to thank you..." I walked over to him with one arm holding my stomach. He looked away whenever he saw me in pain. Something in him was broken and I started to wonder if I was making it worse. Gloss then looked defeated as he put his hand on my head.
"Min Yoongi. Second year at SuChin." He pursed his lips and finally walked away. Yoongi? A smile grew on my face to know he went to my school. How lucky am I? So this famous Gloss is just one grade above than me? "Don't go looking for me."
"Thank you, Yoongi hyung!" I yelled as I bowed, making him look back at me with a smile. I'm so grateful. Now that I thanked him, I made sure to escape this area. I didn't want Skull and his guys coming after me again. I'm also losing all contact with Piercing for what he did. Yoongi really helped me out there with his advice.
The next day at school, I kept my eyes peeled. I was looking for Yoongi at school despite him telling me not to do so. How could I not? He left me with a lot of questions with how to do things. I needed money fast. It was hard searching for him though. Hoseok was always with me and I didn't want to tell him about my personal life. We were friends, sure, but there are just some things you keep to yourself. He doesn't need to know about the debt, the deals, or how I met Yoongi. Unfortunately, Hoseok noticied me getting distracted easily. It's been one day! He frowned at me as I looked around the cafeteria for Yoongi. He was nowhere in sight! It should be easy to find someone with white hair!
Hoseok didn't say anything to me. He let me look around without knowing what I was doing. Tonight, I had a deal planned! It was something I set up myself with the bag of cocaine that was never collected. Technically, I was still alone for this deal which Yoongi told me not to do either. I was hoping for him to join me in this! He seemed experienced and knew what he was doing. I'd like to work with him. After school, I went around the whole town without a care. The deal was happening at the park where I had met Piercing. Using my only other connection that I have made in this criminal world, I planned to meet them as soon as the sun was down. Things were going to work out this time!
Running to the park, I made sure no one was around at first. Piercing wasn't lingering around whatsoever so I was thankful for that. It'd be really weird to see him. Taking a walk around the small park, I went under a giant tube to hear a scoff. That's even weirder. Little kids should be sleeping. Not scoffing at someone much older than them. Raising a suspicious brow, I went to check who was inside the tube. Was it the person I was going to sell the cocaine to? My eyes then connected with someone hiding in the darkness. I messed up again, didn't I? Even my head felt light. Planning my own deal was a mistake. This really isn't my thing.
"You're a f*cking idiot." The voice huffed. Someone then crawled out of the tube, revealing a familiar white haired boy.
"Gloss!" I cheered, relieved to see him. "You like cocaine?"
"Of course, I f*cking don't! I just heard Runch Randa was trying to sell a pack and I thought 'he's not that big of an idiot, right?'" Gloss stood up. "I was wrong. What the hell were you thinking?"
"Hey, it's all good now though. It's you!" I looked up to him as he eyed me down. He leaned against the rails while my shoes sunk in the sand.
"What if it wasn't? You're being careless." Yoongi tsked. "You're too d*mn young to understand."
"No, I'm not!" I growled. "You're just one grade above me! I have problems you don'tâ"
"You think I don't have issues too?" Yoongi jumped over the rails. He landed on the sand to glare at me intensely. I shut my mouth right away before noticing something in the tube. Was a blanket in there? Feeling shame wash over me, I began to put all the pieces together from all the hints I had gotten.
"Your father is abusive, you ranaway from home, and someone you know died," I said as he took a step back from me.
"...W-Who told you all that?" Yoongi stopped trying to intimidate me.
"So it's true? I just guessed from what Skull said and I can see a blanket in the tube," I stated. "I'm sorry..." Yoongi's eyes were wide for a second. Soon he began to laugh and shook his head at me. I stood there awkwardly as he laughed at whatever he found funny.
"You're actually pretty smart." Yoongi smirked. He stared at the ground as the corners of his lips went down. "Yeah, I got that crap in my life...it's my brother who's dead. Killed himself..."
"...my father left my Mom and I in a bunch of debt. We owe over five hundred million won." I bit my lip. Yoongi didn't seem like the type to appreciate sympathy. He would take it as pity so I figured telling him my problems would work better with him.
"Well, aren't we living the life?" Yoongi met his eyes with me. I gave him a weak smile as he returned to his tube. Was he seriously living at the park like a homeless person? It was kind of creepy, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings. As long as he leaves before kids come to play. "Go home. And don't do anything stupid again since I can tell you're smart."
"Got it." I grinned, leaving the park with cocaine still in my pocket. I seriously need to get rid of this though.
Yoongi told me I couldn't do this alone. What if I formed my own gang? Something that he would be compelled to join. Maybe that could work. I spent all night thinking it up. Looks like I'll have a talk with Hoseok about it. He seems gullible enough to just join easily. That wasn't to be mean. I only thought that since he was so excited to be my friend that he would instantly join my gang without much thought. That's okay though! I won't make him regret it at all. Being in a gang sounds fun, right? I'm sure Hoseok will be up for it once I bring it up. And so that led me to grinning wildly during lunch. I had set up another deal at the same location I had met Yoongi the first time. I was hoping that it was him who accepted the deal this time too.
"What are you so excited about?" Hoseok ate his pudding.
"I have an idea." I leaned in close, bringing my voice down to a whisper. "I'm creating a gang. Do you want to join?"
"A gang?" Hoseok furrowed his brows. He looked around and was quiet like me which was interesting to hear. "Like a group or...?"
"I mean like illegal activity. Vandalizing the town and selling drugs. That type of sh*t." I grew nervous. This didn't sound so tempting. "I need help for a deal tonight. It's dangerous to do it alone."
"You need help?" Hoseok leaned back. He didn't think about it for long and said with a smile, "Okay! I'll help you!"
"Seriously?" My mouth dropped. I didn't think it would be this easy.
"What are friends for? Plus, you said it was dangerous to do it alone." Hoseok pointed out. "This sounds like it'll be interesting. Fun even!"
"You sure like to think things on the positive side." I grinned, giving him a fist bump. Hoseok nodded his head as I began to eat my own food. I was so nervous that I couldn't touch it at first.
"Is this what has been bothering you?" He tilted his head.
"Hm?" I cocked up a brow as chewed on my sandwich.
"I've noticied that something's up with you. Is it something personal?" Hoseok frowned as I put my food down. I wasn't a fan of complaining about my issues, but I did feel better when I told Yoongi about it. Hoseok's also my friend. He's someone I can trust.
At that moment, I spilled everything that's been bothering me for last few months. About how my father left my Mom and I without even saying a word. Like he didn't care about his family. The fights my parents had prior. How I can't keep a job to help my Mom out in the slightest. Somehow, I manage to break things by barely touching them. Then how some guy named Silver got me into drug dealing and eventually screwed me over. I told him about how guys held me back as I got punched. Hoseok listened to every word with a lot of sympathy. I'm not just mad at the debt. It's all the little things that are putting cracks in me and I feel about ready to just break, but I couldn't. For Mom. Hoseok made sure to give me a tight hug.
"Hopefully this deal tonight goes well. I got you," Hoseok said, pulling away from the hug. "And my parents suck. They spend my birthday money on themselves and always buy things they can't afford."
"Money sucks," I grumbled as we threw away our trash. He agreed as we walked to our next class.
When school ended, Hoseok followed me to the location where the deal was taking place. The sun would be setting soon, and I made sure to set the deal before then. I'd like Hoseok to meet Yoongi when the sun's out so he has a better memory of the second year. I wasn't quite sure it was Yoongi who accepted the deal, but either way, we were meeting someone. One ending could be that Yoongi shows up, the second could be that Hoseok experiences his first deal, and the third is where we both end up dead. Not to be biased, but I liked the sound of the first ending better. It just sounded more appealing than the third one, but the second one was good too. Hoseok and I stood under the bridge, waiting for the person who accepted my deal. Then footsteps could be heard.
"People think I'm into cocaine thanks to you," His voice echoed loud and clear.
"Gloss!" I jumped as Hoseok raised a brow. "Dude, this is the guy I told you about! The one who saved me!"
"Oh! Nice to meet you, Gloss!" Hoseok bowed. Yoongi eyed him with a frown. He didn't like what was going on at all.
"What is this?" Yoongi asked, gesturing at the bowing male.
"My name is Jung Hoseok." My friend stood up with a smile.
"No, I meant why were you brought. Runch Randa?" Yoongi scowled.
"He's in my gang. You told me not to do this alone." I crossed my arms. "Now are you going to buy cocaine or not?"
Yoongi stood speechless. He probably was getting the hint that I wasn't dropping this life style. There's no way I'm going to stop now. It's easier to get money this way and I don't break things. Most of my deals didn't go bad. It felt like I was actually good at something for once. Hoseok stood next to me with a proud smile. We may not be the toughest thugs out there, but we'll work hard to create a good gang. All I need is Yoongi to join. He tries to act like he doesn't care about me, but I feel like he's got a soft spot for me. The white-haired male rubbed his eyes as he processed the new information. The kid he told to scram now had a partner and his own business.
"Let me get this straight. You created a gang?" Yoongi kept switching glances between Hoseok and I.
"Yes! And you can join if you want." I wiggled my eyebrows to hear him scoff.
"Cute. I don't really like working with others though." Yoongi smirked.
"Fine...pay up then." I tossed the cocaine at him.
"What the hell? No, I don't want this!" Yoongi kicked it over to me.
"I'm tired of keeping it! You take it for free!" I kicked it back. Yoongi tried returning it, but Hoseok made sure to kick it back.
"If Namjoon says you're taking it, then you're taking it!" Hoseok shouted with a small smile. He was trying his best to look intimidating, but we were having a lot of fun. Yoongi groaned in frustration as the packet sat on his shoes.
"Why!?" He huffed.
"I'm the leader of the gang. I call the shots." I smirked. "Hoseok, fight Gloss if he gives us the cocaine back."
"Got it!" Hoseok got into a fighting stance. Yoongi was surprised to see Hoseok listen to me that easily. It's not something I would abuse. He was a good friend who would do anything for me so I'd like to be the same. Yoongi slowly began to smirk, chuckling lightly.
"This one's funny. He just listens to everything you say?" Yoongi asked, liking the idea of it.
"He's my best friend. He smiles even when things are rough and is like sunshine," I said. Yoongi's smirk almost faded when I said Hoseok smiled no matter what. Did Hoseok strike a chord with him?
"He's the leader so I follow his orders!" Hoseok saluted the male across from us for some reason.
"Interesting..." Yoongi nodded his head. "Your gang is pretty small. Three members is workable though."
"Three?" I jumped with Hoseok. Was my stupid plan actually working!?
"My name is Min Yoongi. I eat outside of the cafeteria. We're going to have to do something about your hair," Yoongi told Hoseok before looking at both of us. "Don't make me feel like I'm babysitting, got that? You're lucky I feel like retiring the name Gloss."
"You won't be disappointed! I'm going to become a great leader!" I threw my fist in the air. Things were working out! After months of mistakes, this is what doesn't let me down. Finally.
*~*
Gosh, that was just a year ago, but it felt like centuries had past. The members have grown into a family. They've shaped me into the leader I am now. Second year Namjoon is mature and has tougher skin. The debt is also shrinking so I'm pretty happy with that. Chuckling at my memories, I couldn't believe how much I've changed since then. The gang made me take responsibility for a lot of things and understand different perspectives. It gave the members and I a reason to keep pushing in life. A place for us to feel cared about or anything missing from our lives. Sometimes I wondered how stupid first year me could have created the gang. I guess some things just work out.
The longer I stared at the ceiling, the more I realized how hungry I was. There was nothing in the fridge, so I might as well get some stuff from the store. Getting up from the ground, I told my Mom where I was going and left the house. Time to buy some tasty snacks! With one hand in my pocket, I walked over to the closest store I could find. It was more of a convience store, but same thing. I went around the entire place grabbing my favorite foods. Chips, cookies, and a soda. I'm classy like that. Once I paid for all my things, my attention drifted to the rack of magazines. Usually, I ignored them all but one was hard to look away from. I walked over to get a closer look at it. Did this make me a pervert? The cover was of a woman wearing lingerie.
"Hyung, you're so perverted." A soft voice laughed at me. Turning around in panic, I spotted Jimin smiling at me. Did he really find this so entertaining? His eyes had turned to lines.
"Jimin-a!" I frowned. "We'll talk about this outside of the store!"
"Okay!" Jimin wrapped his arm around mine as we left. This boy was a lot, I swear. He required a lot of love and affection. It felt like owning a pet or even a child. He happily skipped by my side as we got out of the store he embarrassed me in. "Gosh Namjoon, you're lucky it wasn't (F/n) who found you staring at that."
"Why bring her up!?" I almost dropped my things.
"Because she's a girl." Jimin tilted his head like I should understand which I did. Explaining to (F/n) would be harder. Jimin tries to act innocent but I know how he can be. I know how the mind of boy's work! I was once his age.
"What are you doing out so late?" I sighed, changing the subject with no shame.
"I was just walking around when I saw you inside and found you looking at something dirty." Jimin grinned.
"You won't let that go, huh?" I let my head fall. He laughed and nodded his head.
Compared to the other first years, Jimin probably had more morals than them. He was like a voice of reason. He was the only one to ask if they should actually do something before they do it. Not to mention, he's always the first to apologize if him and the other first years screw up. Taehyung was like a troublesome son too. Jimin would always insist that he's my favorite, but I tried not to play favorites. They were just like kids. Jungkook didn't care about being my favorite or not which is nice. Taehyung says he lets Jimin believe he's my favorite and then gives me a big wink. I've known Taehyung longer, but Jimin has left me with the same amount of memories. They're both important to me. I have no favorites.
"This isn't new information, Namjoon. I always knew." Jimin patted my shoulder.
"Oh lord, forget about what you saw." I shook my head. "So...are you dancing more?"
"Ah, just for fun." Jimin shrugged. "I don't think I'll do dance classes or anymore auditions."
"Alright. I know Yoongi told me that your original plan was to leave the group to eventually dance," I said as his ears grew red.
"Y-Yeah, but I won't leave you, Namjoon! Or the gang!" Jimin hugged me. "I know how important I am to you."
"I have no favorites," I replied to see him pout, puffing out his bottom lip a lot. Though I didn't like the thought of the gang ending, I did want to be realistic. "...what would you do if the gang does end?"
"Me?" Jimin's eyes grew. "Um...I don't know." He rubbed the back of his neck.
"Yeah, it's tough to think about. Don't worry about it too much. We'll stay a gang for life!" I threw my fist in the air to earn his light chuckle. Jimin threw his fist in the air with me too.
"Definitely, Hyung! I'll see you later." Jimin waved as I started walking back home.
"Bye, Jiminie! Forget what you saw!" I shouted while he stuck out his tongue. What a little punk. What am I going to do with that boy?