Chapter 22

ANNA

Benji shows up with the food before long. The aroma of his mouthwatering Thai cuisine makes my stomach growl in anticipation.

“Benji, you’re a freaking miracle worker!” I exclaim, practically bouncing on my toes as the scent of the food wafts up to my nose.

“Good to see you too, Anna,” he replies, a smirk playing on his lips.

Benji. It feels like ages since I last saw him. He’s aged a bit. Benji is the quintessential Thai guy in our small town. Probably the only one in his high school class with a heritage that wasn’t strictly American.

His brown eyes twinkle with the same warmth as his smile, and his once jet-black hair is now speckled with gray.

Given how long he’s been running this restaurant, it’s not surprising. He started working there for his dad when he was just fifteen.

By eighteen, he was in charge, and now, thirty years later, at forty-eight, he and his restaurant are still a staple in our little town. His daughter, who’s my age, is gearing up to take over. She’s always said that was the plan.

“How’ve you been, Benji? It’s been a minute,” I say, spreading out the food containers.

“I’m good, and the restaurant’s thriving.”

I nod, smiling.

“That’s great to hear. I don’t know what I’d do if you ever closed the place. Seriously, the world wouldn’t survive!” I declare with a dramatic flourish.

James and Jack roll their eyes while Becca nods in agreement. “Preach!” she chimes in.

“How’s Mali?” I ask.

He grins at me. “She’s doing well. She’s thinking about expanding the Yellow Moon. I’m actually considering letting her open one in another city.”

“That’s fantastic! Send her my best.”

He waves at everyone. “Well, I’ve got to get going. I hope everything turns out okay with your little one, Anna.”

“Thanks. We’ll get through this. I’m sure of it.” And for a moment, I actually believe the words coming out of my mouth.

“Goodbye, everyone,” he says, exiting the room.

We dig in. Becca and I let out simultaneous moans of pleasure as we taste our food. I take a bite, and noodles dangle from my mouth. I feel eyes on me. I glance up to find James and Jack staring at Becca and me.

“What?” I ask, noodles still hanging from my mouth.

“You two are so strange…”

“Don’t knock the best food in the world,” Becca scolds James.

“Try it,” I tell him—or rather, command him. He takes a bite and his eyes go wide.

“Holy shit, this is amazing!” he exclaims, diving back into his food.

“Told you,” I smirk.

“How’s yours?” I ask Jack. He sighs.

“I hate to admit it, but it’s really good.”

Becca bursts into laughter. “I have excellent taste,” she declares proudly.

“Clearly, look at me!” he retorts, sending us all into fits of laughter.

“Gross. That’s a disturbing image.” I shake my head, trying to erase the mental picture.

Around nine o’clock, the doctors return with Olivia. She’s still out cold from the anesthesia.

“How did it go?” James asks Dr. Frank.

“It went well. She was a perfect patient, as always. We got some clearer images from the MRI. We immediately took her for a biopsy—it was necessary based on what we saw on the scan.

“The biopsy will confirm it, but it does appear to be cancer,” he says, avoiding my gaze.

He looks everywhere but at me.

“Look at me,” I demand. He doesn’t. He keeps his gaze averted.

“Look at me!” I raise my voice, trying not to wake Livvy. But I’m so fucking angry. His face snaps to mine, surprise etched on his features.

My eyes are blazing with fury, his are filled with regret, guilt, and whatever else you feel when you’ve messed up. Because that’s what he did. He messed up!

“You told me you were sure it wasn’t cancer,” I say slowly.

He nods. “I didn’t see it, Anna, and neither did my colleague in Seattle. It was Dr. Turner and his colleague who spotted it. I’m so sorry, Anna, but I was wrong.”

I shake my head. “No. No…you promised me that if the blood and MRI were clear, then it wouldn’t be cancer.” I try to reason with him, stumbling backward.

“The biopsy will tell us what type of cancer we’re dealing with and whether it’s benign or aggressive,” he continues.

I roll my eyes.

“She’s been coughing for how long now? Of course it’s the aggressive kind. We could’ve started treatment six months ago.

“But no, you had to pump her full of every antibiotic known to man,” I snap, making him sigh.

“A…” James’s voice floats up from somewhere in the background. I turn to him and see the sadness in his eyes as he shakes his head.

“Please stop,” he pleads, his voice breaking.

I walk over to him and pull him into a hug. I bury my face in his chest.

“We’ll get through this, she’s strong,” he whispers in my ear.

I nod against his chest. “She has to. I’m not losing her. Over my dead body.”

I pull away and turn back to Dr. Frank.

“When will we know?”

“In the morning. I’ll ask the nurse to get you a bed so you can stay the night,” he replies.

~That’s a good idea, because I’m not leaving. I mean it, I’m not going anywhere.~

“Thank you.”

Dr. Frank leaves the room, giving us some time to be together and process—well, everything.

“Anna,” Becca says, her voice tinged with worry and sadness.

“She’s tough. She’s got to be okay,” I assure her.

“She’ll fight. I know she will,” she responds.

“Absolutely, she will. Because I’ll tell her to. I can’t lose her.”

I approach my little girl, lying there in the hospital bed. She’s dressed in just a hospital gown, she must be cold...but she’s sleeping so peacefully. Her brown hair is spread out around her, it’s so long.

~She’s so incredibly beautiful,~ I think with pride.

~We created her.~

~

As I lean down to plant a kiss on her forehead, a knock on the door jolts me from my thoughts.

“Yes?” The door swings open and a nurse steps into the room.

“Hello, I’m Sarah. I’ll be Olivia’s nurse for the night.”

I glance behind her and see she’s wheeling something in. It looks like a foldable bed.

“I’ve brought a bed for you. I’ll set it up.”

“Thank you.”

“Anna, we’ll head over to the Browns and grab some clothes and anything else you three might need for the night, okay?” Jack offers.

“Thanks, Jack. Your presence today has meant so much to me.” I tell him. I glance at both of them—my parents. It feels even more real now.

And it’s true, their being here has meant the world to me.

“You don’t need to thank me, Anna. You’re my daughter, this is what I’m supposed to do. You focus on that beautiful little girl in that bed and let us take care of you and James.”

I nod, fighting back tears as I envision the journey that lies ahead of us and the overwhelming emotion that comes with finally having supportive parents, parents who want to be there for me in my time of need.

“Come here,” Becca calls to me. She steps toward me.

I walk over and embrace her. I don’t care about the fact that she gave me up, right now I just need my mom. Once I’m in her arms, I bury my face in her chest, letting the tears and sobs escape.

“Let it all out, you need to be strong when she wakes up.”

“I can’t lose her. I just can’t,” I plead with her.

“You have to trust the doctors to do their jobs. I can’t promise you that everything will be okay, even though I wish I could, because no one knows. But I do know that she is strong.

“She’s so strong, just like you,” she says, kissing my hair.

“I love you, Anna. Nothing will stop me from being there for you this time. I’ll always be here for you.”

I sob even harder.

~She does love me. It was my parents who kept her from seeing me, from bonding with me, from being there for me. It doesn’t matter now. All that matters is that she loves me.~

~

She releases me and I remember something.

“Can you go to my parents’ house and grab some stuff from my old room? Or wherever they put it?” She nods.

“What do you need?”

“My blankie. I know I’m an adult, but it always comforted me growing up. It’s—”

“Pink with bows?”

“How…?” I ask her, surprised.

“Yeah. I know which blanket you’re talking about. It’s the one I wrapped you in when you were born. I’ll get it, don’t worry about a thing.”

“Thank you.”

“We’ll be back in an hour, okay?”

We nod and they exit the room.

“James?” He lifts his head from his hands. He’s still seated in the armchair next to Olivia’s bed, stroking Olivia’s head. He hasn’t left it since we ate.

“Yeah?” His voice cracks, but he’s holding back his tears. I walk over to him, settling onto his lap.

I pull his head toward my chest. “Let it all out. When she wakes up we’ll need to be strong. Just let it all out. Then we’ll fight!”