Chapter 23

BECCA

Stepping out of the hospital, I let the tears I’ve been holding back finally escape. They’re for Olivia, my granddaughter, who’s sick.

The moment I laid eyes on her, I knew she was Anna’s daughter. And I knew she was ill. I could feel it in my bones, even before the doctor uttered the dreaded word: “cancer.”

I can’t believe what I did to Anna, my own daughter. I left her alone, scared, and abandoned on the streets.

~I was so damn selfish.~

~

I slide into the car and Jack starts to drive. What kind of mother was I? What kind of mother abandons her own child? I know why I did it. Ruby.

Ruby threatened me with a lawyer for breach of contract. We had signed a contract. I wasn’t naive, but I felt cornered.

Ruby wanted to be a mom but couldn’t have kids. She promised me she’d love this baby if I chose them to be her parents. They kept telling me I should be grateful that she took me in.

~Looking back, it wasn’t really a choice.~

~

The contract we signed was for a closed adoption. It was within the family, but we had it notarized to make it official. I might have been seventeen when I had Anna, but I wasn’t stupid.

But I didn’t know that the contract also had a clause stating I couldn’t interfere, so I couldn’t voice my opinion on how she was raised. I learned that the hard way.

Anna wanted a Barbie doll when she was five, but Ruby and Peter didn’t want her to have one because it didn’t align with their beliefs.

They told a five-year-old that Barbies were sinful. And that sins would send you straight to hell.

When I found out they said this to her, a five-year-old, just because she wanted a Barbie, I was upset and angry. It’s just a doll.

I told them they were overreacting and that there was no harm in Barbies since all little girls play with them. I reminded Ruby that even our parents gave us Barbies, and they were ~strict~.

That’s when they showed me the contract, with the highlighted fine print at the bottom. I was stunned. They told me if I ever interfered again, they would drag me to court.

I was twenty-two years old, still in college working on my degree. It would have ruined my life, so I kept my mouth shut.

After that, I stopped visiting so often. I had a feeling that the doll incident was just the beginning. Anna’s eyes were filled with sadness every time I was there.

So unless it was for birthdays or holidays, I didn’t visit them. I only visited enough to keep up appearances for Anna and the town. Because that was all they cared about, how the town saw them.

Seeing Anna struggle and not being able to do anything about it turned me cold. I hated everything about what I had become, but it was the only way I could protect myself while I was there.

Every time I visited, I went home and cried for hours, cursing myself for the decision I made when I was young.

She deserved so much better.

“Can we go to Ruby’s first? I need to get that done first, while I have the confidence.”

“What happened?” he asks me, glancing my way.

“We just don’t see eye to eye when it comes to Anna. They threatened me with lawyers and court any time I tried to help Anna. That’s why I couldn’t take her in—the adoption contract’s forbidden clause.

“Now they can’t stop me from helping her because she’s an adult. But it did leave a scar. And believe me, I’ll do anything to make it up to her. Even going back to them for her blankie.”

A smile spreads across his face as he grabs my hand.

“I was afraid I would never see my Becca back again. I didn’t recognize you when you first stepped into that classroom. I’m so glad the real you is back.”

~Yes, the bitch that Anna described. The reasons she assumed for my giving her up and not telling Jack. They weren’t actually true.~

~

~I did hope to have another chance with him, but I promised myself that day when she was five to make something of myself. I knew she deserved better.~

~

~Because I knew that I’d have her back one day, even if I had to work my ass off to get her back.~

~

We pull up to Ruby’s house. I sigh as I get out. I used to envy my sister for having it all—the great friends, the good husband, and the perfect daughter. But I know better now.

It’s all a facade, and facades don’t work well for me. Jack follows me up the driveway. I look at him questioningly.

“I’m coming with you,” he tells me. “They won’t do anything with both of us there.”

“Thank you.”

I ring the doorbell and soon the door swings open. Peter stands in front of me.

“Rebecca, what are you doing here?” he asks. “And who’s that?” He points to Jack with a smirk.

Jack offers his hand. “I’m Jack,” he says, introducing himself and shaking Peter’s hand.

“Okay, what are you doing here?” he asks, turning back to me.

“Anna asked me to come get her blankie.”

“Why?”

“Why does it matter?” Jack retorts.

“She just wants it. It means something to her, and since you guys don’t use it, what does it matter?” Peter thinks about it for a second, shrugs his shoulders, and steps aside to let us through.

“It’s in her room—bottom drawer of the cupboard.”

I nod and go up. Her room is the same as it was when she was little. Pink walls, pink bed, everything pink.

“This is a lot of pink,” Jack comments.

“Can you believe it? Anna despises pink, especially this much pink, but they wouldn’t let her change it. She tried to ask again, but they shot her down. She was only fourteen, after all.”

“These folks are really starting to piss me off.”

“Tell me about it,” I reply, letting out a sigh.

I head over to the drawer and pull it open. I grab her blankie and stuff it into a bag I brought from the car. I notice they still have some of her things, keepsakes like childhood photos, so I decide to take those too.

~Anna would want these.~

~

As we head back downstairs, I spot my sister standing there, arms folded.

“Bec, what are you doing here?” she questions.

“Anna asked me to grab something for her,” I answer honestly.

“Why?”

“What’s with you guys and all the ‘whys’?” Jack retorts, his voice laced with bitterness. “You kicked her out, why does it matter if she wants something that belongs to her?”

Ruby steps back, taken aback by Jack’s reaction. “I’ve always cared about her.”

“You sure have a strange way of showing it,” I respond icily.

She rolls her eyes. “She’s my daughter, of course I care,” she insists. But it’s a lie.

“She’s not your daughter, Ruby. She’s mine!” I shout at her. She stumbles back. “And I’m going to be there for her. You can’t stop me this time!”

“I raised her, she’s my daughter,” she argues.

“Do you even really know her?” Jack interjects, stepping between us. He stares Ruby straight in the eyes.

“Of course I do,” she replies.

He nods. “Then what’s her favorite color?” he challenges.

~It’s red. She adores red.~

~

“Pink—just look at her room,” she answers confidently.

Jack turns to me and I shake my head. “It’s red. She hated that room. Too much pink, she said. But you didn’t want to change it.”

“Alright…What college did she get accepted to, before everything?” he tries again.

“She got into a college?” Ruby asks, surprised.

“Yes. Stanford,” I tell her proudly.

“I didn’t know that.”

“I guess you don’t know her as well as you thought.” He laughs derisively.

“We’ve got everything we came for, let’s go bring it to her,” I tell Jack. I can’t stand to be here another minute. I make for the door.

“Wait!” Ruby cries. “Where is she?”

“That’s not your concern,” I tell her softly. I don’t have the energy to argue with her anymore, I’m done with the drama. Things are going to be tough enough soon, with Olivia being so sick.

“But—” Jack shakes his head.

“No ‘buts.’ She doesn’t want you to know where she is. After everything you’ve done, isn’t that the least you can do?” I ask her, and I walk out the door. I don’t even glance back.

~I’m done with her. If she apologizes to Anna—and that’s a big if—I’ll let her back into my life, but for now, goodbye Ruby. See you when you give a damn.~

~