Two days later, even with skipping and going to the woods, Tom knew he couldn't face Huck. He woke up as the sun started rising. Maybe he could go to school and fix all of this, or maybe he could just sleep in one more time and leave it for later. So Tom closed his eyes again.
And the door to his room opened.
"Hey." Sid's light voice said. Tom had only half-heard it, thinking it a sort of nightmare. Then Sid came in with his small steps and shook him awake.
"Get out of my room." Tom said, sitting up quickly. Sid took a step back, shaking his head.
"You're coming to school today." Sid said. Tom rolled his eyes and fell back down.
Sid whipped the covers away, and cold wind spread along Tom's body.
"Why, I'llâ"
"Aunt Polly and I decided. You're coming to school today." Sid said. Tom glared at him and an angry, hot feeling spread in his gut.
"I've been going, Sidney... I deserve a day off." Tom said. He tried to tug the blanket back, but Sid held on tightly.
"You ain't fooling anyone, Thomas." He said. Tom let go of the blanket and got off the bed, standing in front of Sid.
"...You guys knew?" He asked. Sid looked around and shrugged.
"You track in dirt. Also, ain't that hard to hear when Amy Lawrence starts talking."
"Hey," Tom said quickly, putting a hand up threateningly. Sid scattered to his door, and turned back to face Tom.
"Aunt Polly thought you needed the time to think about your future with Becky or somethin'. Doesn't matter-- be ready in ten minutes. Then I'm dragging you out." Sid said and went quickly down the creaking stairs.
"You're not strong enough to do that!" Tom shouted. He felt a fume in him; an angry fog.
"Cause you're too fat!" He could hear Sid's voice faintly from downstairs. Tom exhaled a sharp, short, frustrated breath. He closed his tired eyes for a moment.
They wouldn't let him hold off any longer. Tom ran his hands through his hair. He stumbled over to his closet, dragging his feet, and went to change his clothes.
He walked downstairs. Sid was up, watching Aunt Polly make breakfast. They turned to him.
"I don't have my schoolbag."
"You're not caught up anyway. It doesn't matter." Sid said.
"Then what's the point?" Tom asked. Aunt Polly shook her head.
"Don't you argue, boy. Just eat some food and walk with Sid." Aunt Polly said. And then Tom really realized he really was going back to school.
He felt sick. Felt a turn in his stomach, felt a strange cold spreading through his body like adrenaline. He wasn't ready. He didn't have anything prepared, and Mr. Dobbins would lick him good for certain. He felt the edges of throw up in his stomach.
But Tom ate as best he couldâa piece of bread and some scrambled eggs, and then they were both rushing him out the door. And the wind hit him outside, making his skin buzz coldly. He couldn't do this. He knew he couldn't. But Sid was watching, and every time Tom turned his steps away, Sid was looking.
"You still got Becky, right?" Sid asked. Tom couldn't take conversation; the words almost went right on by him, before he caught their echo in his mind and realized he should make a response.
"Yeah." Tom said.
"So why you been skipping?" Sid asked. Tom didn't see this time as catch-up. It was suffering. Walking towards the place containing everything wrong in his life. He swallowed nervously and all he could think was his throat was dry. He remembered Sid was there, again.
"Mr. Dobbins."
"That's it?" Sid asked, watching him. "We've been dealing with him for years, Tom. He doesn't have anything on us." Sid pushed Tom's shoulder, and Tom just stiffened. Sid saw. "It's more than that. ...Is it Amy?" Sid asked. Tom shook his head.
"It's me, Sid. I... never liked school." Tom had to hold back a little. His face gained heat, and he ran his hands through his hair, trying to hide it. They were almost there. Tom's body felt light.
"Is it Becky?" Sid asked. Tom's whole body stuttered.
"Noâ"
"You been fighting a lot, I guess. But I always figured you'd be married to her by nowâ"
"Sid." Tom said it harshly. He looked at Sid, and Sid looked mutely back. Tom closed his eyes a moment, shaking his head, sighing. "She thinks I'm not ready." Tom said. Sid then nodded and looked at him with a bit of understanding. Tom never saw that in his brother before.
"...Are you?" Sid asked.
"Everyone always asks that." Tom said. He always denied it. He wasn't sure if Sid actually cared anyway, but then looked in his brother's eyes. He must care, at least a little. They walked together through the school entrance. Sid shouldn't care. He never did before. But... They were brothers.
They walked through the entrance and were in the courtyard filled with everyone they knew. "It's just school." Sid said, and left him.
Tom looked around. His thoughts left him. His stomach turned as he looked around, seeing Becky and them, and he walked towards them. If he was here, it would be better than isolating himself...
Huck saw him. Tom stopped moving for the briefest moments, held back at meeting Huck's eyes and seeing the look in them. Tom walked quicker towards the group, but saw Huck leaving. Tom got to Becky and them and Huck was gone, lost in the crowded courtyard. It made his stomach turn. And then Becky looked at him and smiled.
"Feeling better?" She asked. And that was it. He nodded and smiled sickly. She nodded back, taking his hand and waiting for the bell to ring.
It all felt like a sort of echo. Of how things should've beenâHe wasn't really feeling like part of the group anymore. He watched Becky and Amy and Ben and Joe and everyone else, all talking about things he hadn't been present for. And he probably wasn'tâweeks are long. A lot can happen, and he missed all of that with his brooding-- he felt he could never catch up, and that's why he kept on prolonging coming back in the first place.
Becky kept hold of his hand and the bell rang and they went to class.
Tom was severely underprepared. But... education didn't matter to him, anywayâHe could sit in class and suffer and not know anything, and just pick up from there. This was the late 40s. He didn't need a real education to get a jobâit would just help a little. He was here for Becky. So as long as Becky was there for him... He looked at her and saw her staring, and he smiled. Nervous. As long as he had Becky, everything was supposed to work out. That's why he would marry her.
Tom was hardly paying attention the whole day. He was thinking of Becky with a turning in his stomach. And then, throughout the day, he found himself looking for Huck. Finding him in groups of people Tom didn't know too well. And every so often, Tom and Huck met eyes. Tom felt an angry, churning wash in his stomach and his heart, and then Huck would look away with a bitter glance.
Tom wondered how he could fix what he did, but the only solution would be to tell Huck the truth. He couldn't do that. Tom ran his hand through his hair.
Mr. Dobbins' class was awful as usual. He didn't call on Tom at all, but every time he asked a question, he stared at Tom, and Tom felt sick. Felt on-edge.
He felt so useless and dumb with each question and each look and each of everyone else's answers. Tom felt he was dying. The feeling was so strong in his stinging throat and his aching heart and his punching breaths and his stomach. Tom would wait and wait until he was called on, but it never came, and so the turning feeling just stayed and stayed and couldn't leave.
The day, eventually, was almost over. Almost time to go home and hide and get rid of this feeling. Almost time to go to the woods if he was brave enough at the chance of seeing Huck. Almost time to talk to Becky and talk to Huck and fix all this that he ruined. He was getting more scared by the second.
The final bell rang.