"YOU ADDED TOO much water," Yunxuan chided as she inspected the tea I had just attempted to make. Whisked tea was a traditional art, one that most ladies of higher station would know. Unfortunately, I never seemed to be able to get it right. Yunxuan, a self-proclaimed master, had offered to help me out.
But when I arrived at her house, Yunhua had been there as well, a ledger in hand. There to supervise, she'd declared, and to pass some time.
"I realised," I sighed, shaking my head. "I can never get it quite right. Something always inevitably turns out wrong."
"Practice makes perfect," Yunhua declared. "I tried every day for a whole month before I finally mastered the craft. You'll get there eventually."
That might be the nicest, most encouraging thing Yunhua had said to me since I'd arrived at Shangguan Manor some weeks ago. I glanced at her in surprise, but she did not meet my eyes. Her eyes were trained on the ledger.
"Jie jie," Yunxuan sighed, "it does not hurt to look away from that ledger once in a while. You've been going over it all morning."
"I need to make sure all the calculations are correct," Yunhua replied blandly. "If I cannot even manage Shangguan Manor..." Her voice trailed off. I was in on the secret now, a secret that was not really a secret. I finally understood Yunhua's unrelenting ambition, the way she never seemed to think anything was enough. The way she always craved for more, craved for better.
If she was to inhabit that Eastern Palace someday, then, yes. She should be trying for more. For bigger. To do better.
Yunxuan said, "The Emperor and Empress are very pleased with you already."
"But no formal promises have been made. And until then I must do better. Even after engagement I must do better. I cannot let myself become lazy until we finally are married."
"Are you close with the Crown Prince?" I asked curiously.
Yunxuan replied for her eldest sister. "He visits quite often. Calls upon us. I don't think he's particularly fond of you, you know."
Yunhua finally glanced up, looking irritated. "He doesn't need to be fond of me, Yunxuan. He just has to like what I bring to the table."
"Practical as always."
"It's quite clear this match is for benefit," I murmured, "but do you not think you ought to be fond of him and him of you to make it work?"
"It does not matter," Yunhua replied dryly. "What matters is the position. As his consort, I will be next line for the position of Empress. What more could I ask for in life? Love is a terribly fickle thing, I do not wish for it."
"And you?" I asked, turning to Yunxuan. "What do you think of love?"
"I think it can go hand-in-hand with a beneficial marriage," the younger girl drawled out after some hesitance. "But at the same time, I will not demand it be present in my match. Would you?"
"Love, perhaps not." I was not enough of a dreamer for that. "But I would at least like to be fond of my husband, and him of me."
"If he is to be the future Emperor," Yunhua declared, "he ought not allow things like feelings and love to cloud his judgement. I would look down on him if he did."
"Do you think so poorly of the feeling?" I asked with a burst of laughter.
"Mock me if you wish," Yunhua shot out. "But this is not some ordinary family I am promised to marry into. This is the Imperial family, Cousin. I cannot let finer feelings affect any of my decisions."
"Yes, I understand that, butâ"
"There are no buts." Yunhua seemed to be very passionate regarding this subject. "I wish to become Crown Princess, I am set to become Crown Princess, and I shall become his wife."
"Do you not mind? If he is to be the future Emperor he will have so many concubines and consorts."
"I think we've already established," Yunhua said with a roll of her eyes, "that I care little about that. As long as I am Crown Princess and then Empress, and as long as the heir is my child, it matters little."
"Oh."
"Do not tell me," Yunhua scowled with narrowed eyes, "that you wish for a love match. And for your husband to take no concubines."
"That is the dream. It is unlikely, of course it is, but it is the dream."
"A difficult one to achieve," Yunxuan said softly, "but if you find the right man..."
"Men are unreliable," Yunhua's voice was matter-of-factly. "He may promise to take no concubines in marriage and then take one later anyways. It's simply how they work. And us as women, it is smarter for us to simply turn a blind eye as long as it does not affect our own lives. Look at father, for example."
I glanced at Yunxuan. The girl did not look up.
"Yunxuan's mother," Yunhua explained, "was part of my mother's dowry."
I'd already heard some things about that. Yunxuan's mother had been a maid for my late aunt.
"When my mother was pregnant with Yunjun," Yunhua continued, apparently oblivious to Yunxuan's discomfort, "she worried that my father would wish to take a concubine." She adjusted her sleeves. "By then the... excitement of marriage had begun to pass and the passionate aspect was beginning to fade. So she arranged for Yunxuan's mother, Madam Fu, to become a concubine. Thus Yunxuan was born."
Yunxuan's face had turned impassive and stony a little while ago. It remained the same way even now. Yunhua did not seem bothered at all. "My father promised my mother he'd take no concubines or something along those lines when they married. It's not as if he did anything to prevent Madam Fu from becoming a concubine."
"I think this is an improper topic for us to be discussing," I said firmly. "Yunxuan and I are not yet of age, and you are unmarried. It would be detrimental to our reputations if someone heard."
"Who would hear us?" Yunhua asked lazily. "Even if they did, they would be our people and not dare to spread the word."
I stole another look at Yunxuan. She looked calmer now. It could not be the first time Yunhua had gone on a tirade about something like this. She did not seem to treat Yunxuan poorly. I had no one else to compare her behaviour to, but Yunhua seemed to speak of her full-blooded sister Yunjun in a similar manner to the way she addressed Yunxuan. It was not because of Yunxuan's status as the daughter of a concubine. That mattered little in a family such as this one, I'd gleaned in the past while, but merely Yunhua's own pride and arrogance. She did not seem to see anyone as an equal.
I had failed to understand it before. But if she was already all but engaged to the Crown Prince and set to become the future Empress?
Then yes. Her pride suddenly became understandable. Not acceptable, but understandable. What girl would not react the same way?
"Yunxuan," I asked softly, "what do you seek in a match, then?"
"Peace and tranquillity," the girl replied swiftly. She gave me a grateful look, as if thanking me for changing the topic. "I do not crave power or love or status. All I seek is a peaceful life with a husband who is fond of me at the least."
Yunhua huffed. "Have a little more ambition, little sister."
"I think you have enough ambition for all of us," Yunxuan replied placidly. "I do not need to contribute any more."
Yunhua eyed her youngest sister, and with a huff, turned away. "And you, Cousin? What do you seek in marriage?"
"I seek peace as well," I admitted, "but I also hope to marry well. I do not need to marry into the highest families in the country, I doubt I am capable of doing so anyways. But I do wish to marry someone with enough power, status and money to spare."
"That's more like it," Yunhua sighed. "That's what a Shangguan girl should be like."
"I doubt," Yunxuan muttered, "that Yunjun shares your sentiments either, Yunhua."
"Yunjun is a special case," Yunhua said, seeming troubled. "We'll cross that bridge when we get there. If we get there."
"And Tianjin?" Yunxuan asked.
"Tianjin is a boy. He can marry as late as he wishes to and no one would say a word. As long as he produces an heir somewhere down the line." Yunhua shook her head. "No point worrying about him when we have not gotten ourselves sorted out."
They all digested that for a moment. It was unfair, but it was true.
"Tell me about the Bride Selection," I declared. "If I am to partake in it, I might as well be prepared for it. What will I need to do?"
"There are a few rounds. Our dynasty's Bride Selection is considerably shorter than other ones historically speaking, but it can still be a tiresome process. Our names will be presented, along with our basic information. We will both easily pass that."
Yunhua straightened herself. "After that is the Selection day. We will be brought into the Palace. The officials and eunuchs select those of us who are attractive, well-educated and elegant enough to be presented. The rest are sent back home. Next, we are kept in the Palace for a night before we are presented before the Emperor, Empress and the Princes who are seeking wives through this Bride Selection."
"In other words," Yunxuan said archly, "you shall be paraded like a prized mare before the Imperial family."
"Yunxuan!" Yunhua scolded, as if she had not spoken with such defiance regarding the Imperial family moments before. "Let us not put it that way. I do not think the Emperor will seek a new concubine among us this time around. Even if he does, I doubt it would be within you or me."
I certainly hoped not. The Emperor could be my father in age. And marrying into the Imperial Palace itself meant a life trapped within it, never being able to leave. Yunhua would have a similar fate in the future, but at least as Empress she could have some more power than any other concubine.
I had no interest in marrying someone so much older than me. And as much as I was willing to accept the fact that most men of power and wealth took concubines, I'd always found myself hoping that my husband would not.
Even if it was just wishful thinking.
"I think Cousin will be married to a Prince," Yunxuan murmured. "One of the youngest. Without much power or importance, but a Prince nonetheless. Or perhaps the son of one of the older Princes."
"My background is too weak."
"Unless your father somehow is miraculously promoted," Yunhua sighed, "there's not much chance for you to marry anyone of much importance. Except as a concubine, perhaps, but no daughter of our family will become a concubine."
"I'm a Fei," I reminded gently, "not a Shangguan."
"Your mother was one of ours," Yunxuan replied, "and that makes you a Shangguan daughter as well. You are living under our roof now. Besides, would you rather be a Shangguan or a Fei? When's the last time your father's family had someone important? Three generations ago, I think. Your grandfather's brother was an advisor to the Emperor."
"I remember being told that," I admitted. "Never knew much about it, though."
"Fei Run," Yunhua supplied. "Your great-uncle. He was an advisor, like Yunxuan said, but no one that famous. Your father was the most promising member of your family after him, but look where he still is now."
"He has no ambition," I replied mildly. "I hear his arguments with my step-mother. He has no interest in leaving Henan. He is content there, being a minor official."
"Does he not at least wish to return to Luoyang?" Yunxuan asked, frowning.
"Not from what I've pieced together. My step-mother, though, very much wants to leave Henan and come here."
"Curious," Yunhua said, looking distracted. "Very curious indeed. I will ask Father about it. It would be best, if I must be honest, for your father and your step-mother to come live in Luoyang in some years' time. Preferably after you're married, or during your wedding."
"If such a thing is arranged, I wish to have no part in it," I declared. "My father may find it in him to blame me for such an arrangement, especially if he truly does not wish to return."
Yunhua sounded pensive. "I will discuss it with Father. You do not need to worry about it."
â
IT WAS TWO afternoons later when I was summoned from my room by one of Yunxuan's maids. On the way to the main house, Yunxuan quickly filled me in on what had occurred.
"The Crown Prince has decided to visit. Of course his main purpose is to see Yunhua, but we have been summoned as well."
I frowned. "Why?"
"He did not come alone. He brings along the son of Prince Duan, the Emperor's third brother; along with his companion, Qu Xuewen, whose father is the Imperial Counselor."
"Oh."
"Your first real presentation," Yunxuan said, casting me a concerned glance. "You are ready for it?"
"I think I will remain tactically silent."
"They will think you are shy. But I suppose that is better than you potentially saying something wrong. Do not worry, they are all easy people to get along with. Well, as easy as someone in their position could be. Just be polite and respectful and obedient and you shall be alright. Yunhua and I will be there to cover it up if you do muck anything up... but you know, I think you shall be just fine."
Those words seemed to unlock something in me. It was acceptance, recognition, acknowledgement. I glanced at Yunxuan in surprise. "Thank you."
This young girl was full of surprises. Younger than me, looking so innocent and green, yet filled with a worldliness that confused and puzzled me. Sometimes she seemed even wiser than Yunhua, who despite all her cunning intelligence, went through life with an arrogance that she never bothered to hide.
Yunxuan hid any sense of superiority she may feel. And that meant all the servants and people in general seemed to prefer her over her eldest sister.
Yunhua was already in the main house. There was a boy around eighteen sitting at one of the two main seats, while Shangguan An sat at the other. That must be the Crown Prince. Yunhua sat at the first left seat, while opposite her was a boy around the same age. The shizi, then, the son of Prince Duan.
The second seat on the right was occupied by an older boy. While the first two resembled each other, this one looked different. Thick, furrowed brows, darker skin, smaller figure. Qu Xuewen.
I stood before Yunxuan, since I was older than her. I'd already had plenty of lessons in the past while, and I was no longer unconfident with my curtsy. I dropped into a low one, my head towards the floor. In unison, Yunxuan and I begun, "è£å¥³è§è¿æ®¿ä¸ï¼ä¸åã" I greet Your Highness, Shizi. And then I turned to Qu Xuewen. "Greetings, Mr Qu."
The Crown Prince motioned for us to straighten, and we both followed his instructions. I kept my eyes on the ground despite the urge to study him properly.
Uncle motioned to us. "You've all met my youngest daughter Yunxuan, of course. This is Fei Minxi, my late sister's daughter. She shall be living with us for a while."
"Miss Fei."
"Your Highness."
"Please, feel free to take seats."
Both Yunxuan and I scurried to the nearest chair after thanking the Crown Prince. Now I took my chance to inspect the three men. The Crown Prince looked quite harsh. His features were sharpâhis skin was quite pale, his nose hooked, and his eyes were cold. Not in the same way as Yunhua or my uncle, but a sense of power. The sense that if he wanted to, I could be dead in an instance.
And it was true.
He wore yellow, which could only be worn by the Imperial family. A jade hung from his waist. His hair was all done up in a tight bun atop his head.
The shizi, meanwhile, wore light blue. His hair was done up in a similar style, but his features were softer. There was still the sense of power, especially in the way he carried himself, but it was far less intense. He had a scholarly air, with eyes that seemed quite amused and lips that tugged slightly upwards.
Qu Xuewen seemed to be in his early twenties. His eyes were long and narrow, and his tanned skin made him seem more like a soldier than a scholar, but that seemed to be what he was. He was companion to the Crown Prince, Yunxuan had said, and I assumed that meant a study companion. Though I supposed they would be trained at combat and the like together as well.
"How long have you been in Luoyang, Miss Fei?"
I turned towards the Crown Prince, still not looking directly at him. "One month, Your Highness."
"Are you enjoying yourself so far?"
"Very much, Your Highness. I enjoy the company of my cousins very much."
"Well, your cousins are always wonderful to be around."
Yunhua offered a smile. "You flatter us, Your Highness. We dare not accept such high praise."
"I am not flattering you, it is the truth, Miss Shangguan."
I stole a glance at my uncle. His face was cool, a polite smile on his face that revealed absolutely nothing of what was going in his mind. What did he feel about this match? Did he approve? Or did he not want to waste his daughter away in the man-eating backyard of the Imperial Palace, where Yunhua was fated to waste away the rest of her life?
If I had to be honest, I did not want to marry a prince. My uncle and cousins could serve as a strong background for me, but my father's low position meant that I was still no proper match for any royalty. I would be lucky to wed the son of a duke. And while Yunxuan was fond of me, Yunhua still seemed slightly sceptical, and my uncle was a mystery that I had no answers to.
But I had the feeling that by the time it got to it, I wouldn't have much of a choice regarding who I married. Whoever Shangguan An decided would be my best match would be my best match. Nothing much I could do about it.
Yunxuan laughed. It was a pretty sound, light and twinkling like the sound of chimes. "You've always been very kind to us, Your Highness."
"I've practically watched you grow up, of course I'd be kind to you." But there was something about those words that did not quite reach his eyes as the Crown Prince regarded Yunxuan. The younger girl shifted in her seat, lowering her head, casting her sister a glance.
"Would you like to visit our new garden?" Yunhua asked, interjecting. "Father, would you mind if we showed the gentlemen around?"
"Auntie Shu may chaperone you," my uncle replied, motioning to one of the older women at the doors. "Your Highness, would you like to visit the garden?"
"I'd love to," the Crown Prince replied swiftly. "Shizi? Mr Qu?"
Both men murmured their agreement. And then we were ushered from our seats and into the newly furnished garden. I wasn't sure how proper it was, but we had chaperones and all kept a respectable distance from each other.
we delve into the different psychologies of the girls...