Deja vu settles in.
I can smell Xavier cooking from the kitchen. Bacon settles under my nose and my mouth begins to water.
I roll over onto my side. It's barely eight-thirty in the morning.
Another voice joins Xavier as I patter down the hallway, wrapping my arms around myself.
Sof is sitting on the stool, picking at a piece of bacon. She talks softly to Xavier as he places two more places on her plate.
"Morning," I yawn.
Sof jumps, spinning around to face me. "Oh! Morning."
I eye her sceptically, taking a seat beside her. "You're being suspicious."
"Am I?" she frowns, shoving an entire piece of bacon into her mouth.
"Yes," I deadpan, turning to face Xavier.
He shrugs, turning back to the stove.
"Okay, now you're both just being weird."
"Fine. We may have been talking about the fact I walked in on Xavier exiting your room this morning," she says, raising her eyebrows.
"Oh. Cool," I say dumbly.
I can feel my face heating up, despite everything being innocent between us. We'd kissed, sure. But nothing else would happen.
"So, are you guys fuâ"
"Sof," Xavier snaps, glaring at her. "You've said enough."
"Nothing is going on," I implore. "Nothing."
"Didn't realise nothing meant coming out of someone else's room half dressed."
Xavier mumbles something incoherent under his breath as Sof stifles a laugh, giving me a side-eyed glance. She loves stirring the pot.
"What time are you leaving us so we can have a girl's day?" Sof says, perching her hand against her chin.
"When I'm ready, you ungrateful shitâ"
"Okayyy,"Â I cut in, reaching for a piece of bacon. "Enough sibling love for today."
Rain begins to patter against the roof, sliding down the glass-panelled windows. I watch the world outside as it begins to pour, blurring my vision beyond Xavier's car.
"We should watch a movie," Sof suggests. "A chick flick."
"Count me out," Xavier grumbles.
"Who said you were ever counted in?" she retorts.
"I just cooked you breakfast," he growls.
"Well, you can't exactly take it back now, can you? Unless you want to deep dive into my stomach andâ"
"What is going on?" I sigh, standing from the stool. "Why are you fighting like this today? Like you're tense with each other. Has something happened?"
"No," Sof shakes her head. "It's just...today."
Today.
I'd forgotten, for a moment, that today is exactly one year since we lost Casey. Since I felt his heart beat slowing in my arms. How he was blinking one moment and then the next he wasn't.
"Rhea," Sof says softly, bringing me from my thoughts.
"Hmm?"
"Did you ever watch his favourite movie with him?" she asks.
I shake my head. "What was his favourite movie?"
"Shrek," Xavier and Sof say in unison.
I laugh quietly, shaking my head. "Of course it was."
"Maybe we should watch that instead," she suggests, looking at Xavier.
"I'll grab the popcorn."
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I wake up with a jolt. The sky has turned a dark shade of blue, preparing for complete darkness.
My head rests against Xavier's shoulder. Sof is curled up on the armchair. Her neck is at an awkward angle and I know when she wakes up that she'll be sore.
We'd spent the entire day watching all the Shrek movies on DVD. Then Sof had put on the Notebook and made Xavier sit through that. Safe to say he'd fallen asleep instantly. I hadn't been far behind.
I move off Xavier slowly, beginning to rise. I pull the blanket up to his neck, tucking him in gently.
I watch him for a moment at peace with the world. It's funny how someone can be so different as they rest. They lose all their worries for a while; all the stress grabbing them by the shoulders.
I make way down towards my room, turning on the light.
The first thing I notice is the temperature. The portable heater has been running in here all day but it's freezing.
It doesn't take me long to see the window is wide open. The curtains blow with the breeze. Water drips over the sill, spilling in through the window from the rain.
I frown, striding over towards the window as I slam it shut tightly.
I don't remember opening it. Why would? It's freezing in here.
A chill runs up my spine.
Something doesn't feel right.
Surely I didn't open this, right? No. I wouldn't.
Would Xavier or Sof?
We hardly moved from the couch all day. Why would they bother coming into my room to open a window?
It didn't make sense, but there is no way that a window could just suddenly open by itself when its shut so tight. Not even the wind could open somethingâ
Thump.
A spin on my heel.
A shadowy figure appears from under the bed.
I'm out the door in a flash, slamming it behind me. I look around in a panic, locating the dresser out in the hallway. With all my might, I reach for it, placing it in front of the door just as it begins to open.
"Xavier!" I scream down the darkened hall. "Xavier!"
A lamp turns on in the lounge room. I'm running so fast that I collide into the armchair that Sof occupies, waking her up instantly.
Xavier is rubbing his tired eyes but when he sees my expression, he's instantly alerted.
"What is it?" he says sternly.
The bedroom door rattles again and I rush towards the kitchen, grabbing the biggest knife I can find.
Wide-eyed and crazed, I turn back towards Xavier as he grabs Sof by the arm. He pulls her behind him as I pace over a knife. My handis visibally shaking.
"Someone is inside the house," I whisper, breathless.
"Who?" Xavier asks.
"How the fuck am I supposed to know that!" I snap. "You think I stuck around to get a good look at the guy?"
"Alright, stay here withâ"
I hear the bedroom door swing open and the dresser is moved away, squealing against the hardwood floors.
I grab Sof, pulling her towards me as Xavier holds the knife out towards the intruder.
"Who the fuck is there?" he booms.
Silence fills the room as footsteps begin to approach slowly from the dark. I see their hands first, raised in surrender. Then follows their strong legs, clad in denim jeans.
"Xav. Put the knife down," Sof whispers. "It's...it's...oh my god."
Sof lets go of me, sagging into the couch. She can't hold herself up. She's shaking so much that a sob rips from her throat.
It takes me longer to find the confidence to meet their gaze.
A part of me knows. I just can't find the strength to look. I can't find the strength for everything to change again.
"Xavier."
I'd know that voice anywhere. I've heard it in my sleep for the past year, haunting me. I've listened to it in videos he didn't know I'd taken.
I can't look. I can't do it.
Then he says my name.
"Rhea."
I see Xavier lower his knife slowly. He won't look at me. He stares straight ahead.
"Rhea."
When I finally find the courage to look, I can't breath. I can't hold myself up. I stagger back until I'm touching the handle of the front door.
This can't be happening. It simply isn't possible.
I'd grieved. I'd died too.
Now he's here, standing before me alive and well.
Brax.