I'm out the front door as fast as the bolt of lightning that strikes the ground in the distance.
With a hand clutched to my chest, I can feel my windpipe closing in on me. I'm struggling to find air, even in the frigid cold of the night.
The darkness wraps itself around me, consuming my sight. I can't even see my on hand as I hold it out in front of me, scared that I might fall into something.
"Rhea!"
This can't be happening. This isn't happening.
Brax died a year ago. He isn't chasing after me right now.
He's dead.
I'm so cold. My teeth begin to chatter as I lose myself further into the night.
I'm not sure where I'm walking or for how long, but I know I can't go back into that house. I can't face what I already thought I lost.
All this pain, all this sorrow; what did it bring me? What was the need?
It was all a lie.
"Rhea!"
My heart constricts and I grimace, covering my ears with my hands.
I thought that voice only existed in the small number of videos I'd saved to my phone. I thought it existed in memory. A memory that had begun to fade these past few months. I'd nearly forgotten what he sounded like at all.
It hits me hard; the sound of him, the way his eyes met mine.
I'd run before he could speak to me.
Where do you even begin with someone you thought was dead for years?
A hand lands on my shoulder and I gasp, tripping over my own feet. I don't land on the ground, though. He's wrapped his arms around my waist and I'm pulled up against him.
My arms are tucked against his chest so I can only struggle to get out of his hold.
For a moment, he doesn't say anything. I can't seem to find my voice either.
I'm in shock. I can hardly breathe.
"Rhea," he whispers into my hair, burrowing his head against my shoulder
I want to pull away so badly. Every fibre of my being is willing me to move. I just can't find the energy.
His warmth stops my teeth from chattering, but it doesn't help with the coldness spreading through my body.
"I know I have a lot to explain to you. I know that you're probably going to need some time toâ"
"Let go."
The anger comes from deep inside me. I can feel it rising up so strongly that it's ready to rip open the world.
Fuck him for the unnecessary pain he has caused me. He doesn't deserve to be listened to.
"Let go," I repeat.
"Rheaâ"
I begin to slam my body against him, struggling to find a weak spot in his strong grip.
"Let go of me!" I scream.
I can feel the tears beginning to poke through my anger and I try my hardest to fight them away.
How dare he does this to me. How dare he let me think he was dead all this time. How dare he let me fight my demons alone.
I needed him. I loved him.
He was the first person who truly made sense to me. How broken he was inside but not wanting to show it. How his upbringing had been far from perfect. How he wanted to care for his family in the best way he knew how.
He was so much like me, but really, he wasn't like me at all.
I wouldn't have left him to think I was dead. I wouldn't make him suffer the horrible daily thoughts I had to endure as I moved forward.
And now he's back when I'm finally getting to a place where I don't need him.
"I hate you," I spit, slamming my arms into his chest. "I hate you!"
"You don't mean that. You're just angry," he says, almost like he's trying to reassure himself.
"I don't mean that," he repeats.
It comes from nowhere; the first sob as I begin to break down in his arms. I can't hold myself up anymore. I feel utterly helpless. A feeling I didn't want to have after everything I'd lost.
"Please," I cry.
"Rhea," he says again, voice cracking. "I'm so sorryâ"
I shove at his chest again and he lets me go. I stumble back, falling into Xavier's car. My eyes have begun to adjust to the darkness.
"I don't want to see you," I say. "You're not real."
I cover my ears again, bending over as I try to hold myself together.
After all the work I'd put in, I didn't want it to be reduced to nothing. I didn't want to care about him anymore.
"I want to explain myself. Please, just let me explain first."
My knees begin to shake as I hold onto the car behind me. A steady hand lands on my shoulder and go to push it away before I realise it's Xavier.
"Let's get you inside," he whispers, holding onto me.
"I just need to talk to her."
"You can't expect her to be okay with this right away. She needs time."
"That's not up toâ"
Xavier pushes past his brother, holding me under his arm.
"You're the one that decided not to tell her you were alive. That wasn't me. Now, you have to deal with the consequences."
I stop dead in my tracks as we hit the porch. The outside light casts shadows across Xavier's face as I look between him and Brax. The uncanny resemblance makes my stomach tighten.
"Did youâdid you know?" I ask Xavier.
He looks down at me as I slowly remove myself from his hold. I can't look Brax in the eye, so instead I offer my anger to Xavier.
"Did you know this whole time that he was alive?"
The door suddenly opens to reveal Sof. She looks like she's just seen a ghost. Her eyes wonder to Brax, welling with tears.
"Where have you been?" she whispers, hoarse. "How could you do this?"
"Sofâ"
"We'd just lost Casey and you thoughtâwhat, I'm just gonna fake my own death?"
I'm still staring at Xavier, waiting for his response. It becomes so clear to me, though. I'm not sure why I ever thought I could trust him.
"So whilst you were telling me how crazy you were about me, you knew he was alive? That you couldn't stop thinking about me, that is was so wrong," I snap. "You're sick."
"What the fuck did you just say?" Brax interrupts. "Xavier? Is this true?"
I finally look at Brax, watching the hurt and anger wash over his expression.
It doesn't take long before he has Xavier pinned against the wall, holding him by the collar of his shirt. "I told you to look out for her! That didn't mean you could fuck her!"
"You knew he was alive?" Sof yells, watching Xavier with devestation. "You didn't think to tell me?"
It makes me feel marginally better that I am not the only one who was left in the dark. We stare at each other as the boys cuss one another. She grips my hand, bringing me inside.
I make it to the couch just before my knees give out. Sof crouches in front of me, holding my hands.
"Just breathe okay?"
My ears are full of static. Her mouth is moving but it's becoming increasingly harder to hear what she's saying.
"Is Casey alive too?" I whisper, feeling my lip quiver. "Could he...could he..."
"Stay with me," I whisper. "Don't leave me too."
"Case?"
"Casey, hey."
I begin to sob again, grasping my stomach as though to hold myself together.
"He's gone."
"I know," Sof whispers.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry."
The door slams back against it's hinges as the boys come tumbling in. I don't look up from the ground as Sof stands, keeping a hand on my shoulder.
"Both of you can stay the fuck away from us. We don't want to hear either of your excuses."
"You can'tâ"
"Fuck you BâBrax," she croaks. "Fuck you."
She grips my arm, pulling me to my feet as she leads me down the hallway. Neither of the boys try to stop us and I'm grateful. I'm not sure how much more I can take.