For a long time, the world had always felt so grey. I'd lost both my parents instantly, one I would never forgive, one I would never forget. Then I'd lost my brother for a while. Our relationship had slowly been mended but there was always the reminder of the past.
Then, I met Brax. He'd strolled into Davina's office like he felt the world owed him something. He seemed to look right through me and I, him. He seemed like a no-hope criminal to me then, someone that could easily have been guilty of what he'd been accused of. Someone who seemed so angry at the world, something that I understood all too well.
My world was still grey then, but it felt for the first time in a long time, that I had a purpose. Brax gave me back my purpose. Casey made me realise that there were good people in the world. Xavier made me understand how it felt to be protected even if I often begrudged him for it and Sof made me feel like I finally had a sister.
I didn't regret meeting them now. Despite the past two years being tumultuous at times, I had realised so much.
Brax would go to prison for a very long time and that would be out of my control. I would have to learn to accept that. Over time, I hoped that it would become more bearable to cope with.
I would not visit him, just like he wished. It didn't mean I wouldn't think of him often. In fact, I know I will think of him daily. Hourly. By the minute.
Charlie would be caught because I was about to go in for my police interview with Davina by my side and confess everything I knew. I didn't care who came after me, I would make it my mission that they were all caught.
I would make a hell of a lawyer someday. I would spend more time with Maia and Layla. I would heal from my past until I could barely feel the pain.
I had to believe that right now. It was all I had.
"Rhea."
Davina has placed a hand on my knee. I realise I've been shaking it, knocking against her chair. She removes her hand, offering me a worried smile.
"Just remember what to say in there."
I look around the old police station, the timbered doorways and the grey stained carpet. The stench of stale coffee and crushed dreams.
"Unfortunately, this isn't my first rodeo," I say, trying to lighten the mood.
My skin feels taught, like my tears have dried and tightened my face. My lashes still feel damp. I wonder if it's evident that my world seems to have tilted on its axis.
"I wishâ"
"I know," I whisper. "I should have trusted you and just told you the truth. I'm sorry."
Davina's silent for a moment. I wonder if she'll ever let me work for her again or if this could be it for us.
"I've never told you the real reason why I wanted to become a lawyer," she begins. "I had a boyfriend in high school who I adored. I always thought we'd get married, as you do as that age.
"On his eighteenth birthday, he decided to go out drinking with a few of his friends. Then he made the worst mistake. He drove home."
I was sure whatever she had to say next wouldn't be good. I realise suddenly that I've been holding my breath, waiting for her to continue.
"He killed his best friend. He'd swerved off the road and smashed into a tree. Culpable driving. Manslaughter charges. His whole life over because of one decision.
"Everyone turned against him but I couldn't bring myself to only see him as a reflection of his actions. People thought I was callous for still standing by him but it was because I knew who he was before.
"That's why I became a lawyer, Rhea. Because good people can do bad things. I know people won't always agree with me but I have always stood by that."
It reminded me much of how I felt about Brax. For a long time, I had been conflicted about my feelings for Brax. He had a heart but he often seemed to forget it in his haste for revenge.
"You're a good person, Rhea. A good person who got caught up in a bad thing. It doesn't define you. Brax's decision doesn't define you. Hopefully one day, it won't define him either."
I felt a heaviness shift in my chest, almost like the words I had spoken to myself actually seemed believable. Maybe I truly would be okay one day. Maybe all this would soon be a distant memory.
"You remind me so much of myself, Rhea," Davina continues. "I chose you for the internship for a reason. I knew you were special as soon as I interviewed you. I'm not going to let you walk away now."
"But what about how Iâ"
"Obviously," she raises an eyebrow, "some things will need to change. No more secrets. No more lies. This will be your final chance. Don't waste your potential."
"I promise, Davina. I won't."
She studies me for a moment before offering me a stern nod. I can tell she trusts my word and it means more to me than she could ever know.
"Rhea."
My eyes dart past Davina's head. Behind her stands Sof, Xavier and Marco. Not far behind them is Maia, Layla, Dean and Beckett.
"I'm in dire need of a coffee. It's been a long day," Davina excuses herself whilst my friends all crowd around me.
Maia and Layla try to mask their concern but it's evident in the way they watch me closely. "I'm okay," I tell them.
"Don't lie," Layla says. "We've known you for a long time."
They sit beside me, each holding one of my hands. "We're here for you. I know I haven't always...agreed with your choices, Rhea, but it's only because I love you," Maia says.
"I know that. I know you always mean well," I smile softly.
"She just doesn't always know how to express herself very well," Dean interrupts.
"Don't analyse me," she frowns but I can see the corners of her lips curving upwards as she watches him.
It was still a strange thought that they were together but it would just be another thing that time would help with.
"Have you been question yet?" Sof asks, her hand held tightly in Beckett's.
"No," I shake my head. "Sometime in the next few minutes, I think."
"Could we talk to you for a minute?" Xavier asks.
I move away from my friends, walking towards the doors of the station with Xavier and Marco.
"We just wanted to say..."
"You can do it, Marco," Xavier says, rolling his eyes. "It ain't that hard."
"Sorry," Marco clears his throat.
"Sorry?"
"Yeah," he nods. "Apparently, it's come to my attention that I haven't always been very friendly towards you. Sof wants me to improve now that the family is changing. Again."
"Right," I whisper. "I appreciate that. I mean, you played a part in helping me get away from Charlie, so you haven't always been bad."
"Glad that's sorted," he nods stiffly. "I need a cigarette."
"Okayâ"
He exits the building before I can say another word.
"He's not big on expressing his emotions."
"Really? Doesn't sound like a Patridge," I mock.
Xavier stifles a laugh before his face turns serious, crossing his arms across his chest. "I can't believeâI can't believe he's really gone and done this."
"I know," I bow my head. "I can't either."
"But if we understand one thing, it's protecting our family. I know he did it to protect Sof. That's what I've gotta keep telling myself," he says. "At least until they find Charlie and then it really feels like justice."
"They will," I say.
"It's nice to see you haven't lost all hope after spending all your time around us," Xavier smiles softly.
He places a hand on my shoulder, clearing his throat. "I'm sorry, Ree. For this whole year. For everything you've been through and everything we've put you through. You deserve a happy life. Whether we are all in it or not, that's your decision. We'll understand either way."
I nod my head slowly. "Thank you, Xavier."
"Rhea? It's time," Davina calls.
I look at Xavier, quickly squeezing his hand. "I'll see you guys after," I whisper.
The relief on his face is evident as I walk away, back towards Davina.
"You ready?" she asks.
Truth me told, I didn't know what my future held, but the best I could do was live it day-by-day. I had enough support around me to get through anything, I just needed to learn to accept that not everything had to be faced alone.
"I'm ready."